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There Once Was A Merle From Nantucket: The Walking Dead Limericks

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Wolf in sheep's clothing

dresses up in "Wolf's" clothing

Protects pack and herd

 

Little Red Shirts die.

Big Bad Wolf annoys Granny.

Granny's Alpha Bitch.

Edited by CletusMusashi
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I have a big stick, I don't need a gun.

Don't make me go full 'Scarol' on you, Morgan.

Holy shit, in my hands I hold two loaded pieces!

And now, my underwear contains full loads of urine and feces.

When the Wolves are all dead, then we've 'won'.

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Fighting with a stick.

Should it be used for killing?

Or kept up one's ass?

 

Huge place for thumpers

Church of Urinology

Hams Eugene's biscuits

 

Just survive somehow

and hope that Coral Junior

likes raw tortoises

Edited by CletusMusashi
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No fumar lady

Pasta machine is for pros

Have a knife instead

 

Please do not  kill FPP

He's not just a punching bag

Give him more to do

 

Carl now has no hat

He who hesitates is lost

Put that damn dog down

 

Morgan had many guns

Until they took most of them

A peacenik by force 

Edited by Mu Shu
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I am fucking mad

Steve Yuen is luminous

Bring him back assholes

Go pound sand Morgan

I could kick your ass right now

Sticks are for asses

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Morgan was sad

because he used to be a dad.

But now Duane's in the ground

and Morgan's still around.

 

He killed them all,

the short and the tall,

the dead and the alive,

the good and bad guys.

 

Eastman tried to help,

but was bitten with a nasty yelp.

So sad he had to die,

for a now pacifist guy.

 

When will the badass return?

For the old Morgan we do yearn. 

Until then, is Glenn alive? 

Without him, I will cry.

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Yes, I will kill you!

Cage therapy by Eastman.

All the world is love.

 

Love is the carrot.

This very big stick, is the stick.

I am like, so Zen.

 

I will kill you all.

Morgan becomes Eastman now.

Humanity's gift.

 

Imprisons Lone wolf.

Cage therapy by Morgan.

Redemption's last chance.

Edited by Watcher0363
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Crazy Morgan, distracted by rage

was K.O.'d by a pacifist sage

 Now that sage guy is through

and his little goat too

Morgan tries to make friends in a cage

Edited by CletusMusashi
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There once was a Wolf who was nameless

He lived just to show Morgan's lameness

He's kept in the cellar

This hapless young feller

Will escape still have Morgan so blameless?

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A Wolf with intentions most dire

heard a tale that was meant to inspire

But his evil held steady

So kill him already

This arc makes me rapidly tire

Edited by CletusMusashi
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My ass is itchy.

You got a loose end?

An RPG will help with that.

 

I just saved your lives

Cool bike & bow; c'ya

Gas rig; Carol's gonna love me!


Walked stealthily forward

Right into a walker bite

Fore-planned IS forearmed

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Hey there 'lil Sasha

Wanna break off some a this?

Dolphin smooth ginger

Little blonde elf girl

Lie down with walkers, get bit

Waste of insulin

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But what about Rosita?

Have I missed something?

This show makes me drink a margarita.

Judith's a little dumpling.

 

All in all, my favorite show,

the best there's ever been.

But inquiring minds need to know, 

Whatever happened to Glenn?

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Dumpster clearance low.

Adrenaline rate high.

Stop staring Nicholas.

 

 

Don't know how, don't know when,

But I'd really like to see a green balloon.

Look at that, it's a signal from Glenn,

But now tower and wall go boom.

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Ninety nine walkers.
The green balloon of life flies.
The Asian boy lives.

 

Maggie isn't single.
Glenn is a lucky bastard.
Walls not strong like Glenn.

Edited by Watcher0363
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Eugene is weak,

that we did know.

For a sign we do seek,

Green balloons from below.

 

Judith looks more like Lori,

not a shock to Rick.

But who's her father is the story,

Grimes or that other dick?

 

Tension, there is plenty

'tween Morgan and Carol.

Walkers, there's more than twenty.

But where is Daryl?

 

Don't teach him to shoot,

Rick you fool.

Ron's out for the loot,

Enid the tool.

 

There's walkers at the wall,

what horrifying news.

Hope not all will fall,

maybe Spencer for he lacks shoes.

Edited by SpaghettiTuesdays
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There once was a Dinner Bell Camp

Who chose to follow Aaron's lamp.

The ASZhats were nice

But useless as mice

When a church changed the wall to a ramp.

Edited by Nashville
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An ode to Rick.

 

Rick will never take the road less traveled.
Thus he always has miles to go before he sleeps.
He knows that fences make for good neighbors.
But prefers walls to fences when it comes to now.

 

Yes Rick has become a black and white kind of guy.
You are either one of us or one of them.
For one of us, it is, to infinity and beyond.
For them, it is the red machete of death.

 

Rick is so much the Pale Rider.

That the Grimm Reaper has much envy.

The Grimm Reaper has much fear!

Neither heaven or hell, will welcome his death.
Such is our Rick now. Such is our Rick now.

Edited by Watcher0363
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Into the streets of Alexandria,
strolled the not so magnificent eight.
It was not for them to question why,
But to infer what the Rick will imply.
Truly it was do or die.

 

The smelly eight hand in hand,
strolled into the mean streets of Alexandria.
Roamers to the left of them!
Biters to the Right of them!
Walkers to the front, the dead are just everywhere!

 

Yeah do they walk through the valley of the dead,
they have much to fear, for Rick is their shepherd.
Not that Rick was weak or bat shit crazy,
his patience was thin for the weak or bat shit crazy.
Experience had taught him, but not well enough.

 

Maybe experience had taught Rick well,
but the blonde has blinded and weaken many of men.
So four strong and four weak journey into the heart of darkness.
Surly the youngest would cry and ring the dinner bell,
no she carries the Rick gene and is strong with the Rickness.

 

The youngest of the weak, fears the monsters.
Needs his mommy, calls for his mommy.
In the midst of monsters hungry for the living.
Has Rick blundered again?
Is not the past, prologue?

Edited by Watcher0363
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OH hey Deanna

Shit or get off the pot time

Too little too late

Fuck you hard Morgan

Do not body slam Carol

Hungry like the wolf

Dolphin smooth soldier

Will not impress Negan much

Those razors are his

Michonne, who is that?

Never heard of her says Glenn

Who are these people?

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A Wolf, pledged to murder and strife,

was attacked by a dame with a knife.

She was beat with a stick.

He escaped with a trick.

Jailor Morgan said: "Yay... 'cause of life."

Edited by CletusMusashi
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Don't mess with Rick,

that we all know.

Not little Porch-Dick,

Who died from a blow.

 

Sam had to cry 

and Jessie had to scream.

So they had to die - 

it wasn't a dream.

 

Father Pee Pants took the baby

to the church, he did say.

So why did they find safety

in a garage bay? 

 

Others watch from afar

as the undead roam.

While others declared war

and took back their home.

 

They risked their lives,

all of these people,

they used guns and knives,

hope no longer feeble.

 

With walkers all down,

heads smashed where they fell.

Will Negan take the town?

Is this world not hell?

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Ivory's embrace.

Hello darkness my old friend.

Ebony welcomes.

 

Jesus what went down?

I performed cunnilingus.

I am still smiling!

 

So he went down first.

You were right, it was better.

Much love for the tongue.

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Denise asks for 'Pop',

If its available on a stop.

Oh, you probably know it as 'Coke'.

Daryl wonders if this is some kinda joke.

No, no. Its not that, its a flavored fizzy beverage.

Well shit, why din't you say so?  Even with Abe around, there's plenty of beer in the fridge.

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Rick and Michonne,

my one true pair.

Jesus loves you, too,

especially when bare.

 

Rick likes to be covered

in other men's blood.

Michonne makes it in rivers,

causing a flood.

 

Does anyone remember Lori?

The question should be asked.

Now show us what we want,

more Rickshonne ass.

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When Rick comes courting,

He dons the gay murder coat,

Let Mayhem ensue.

Knock knock paddy whack.

Oh lord a sword at my neck!

To late for who's there?

A knife says hello.

A technicolor dream coat.

A bloody what what!

Edited by Watcher0363
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There once was a douche named Abe,

Whose girlfriend was a hot babe.

He dumped her on the spot,

Without even a thought.

Abe can be so macabe.

Acorn laced cookies,

Are the way to a mans heart.

Carol terrifies.

Edited by Cheetosandchoc
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