Mondrianyone

Plus, if he's the observant Mormon he claims to be (when he's not having sex outside marriage), shouldn't he have been wearing those undergarments Mormons are required to wear all the time? I'd think that extra set of clothes would amp up the wet discomfort level significantly.

Maybe in the way of trying to convince people she's not the vile example of a human that she turned out to be?

And even more likely because she's always right about everything, so being taught how to eat properly post-surgery seems like a nonstarter for her. You know the old line about how you can always tell a Harvard man but you can't tell him much? Like that. Except in Tiffany's case without the Harvard part.

😁 😁 😁 That's funny. I had (sometimes still have) a Noo Yawk accent. I was very conscious from childhood not to tawk like a Lawng Islander. (I mostly succeeded.) But no NYer would go so far overboard as to change "hawking" into "hocking." That's how midwesterners sound. But if you're up for a cup of cawwwfee, gimme a cawwl. I see Sunny hasn't come in from the cold yet. I'll be sad when she does. It's so much easier to FF past her this way.

And not only that, but "hocking" his book makes no sense. I grew up with a grandmother who spoke Yiddish, and "hocking" doesn't mean to constantly plug or hype something. In English it means to pawn something. In Yiddish the expression that occurs most commonly is Hak mir nisht keyn tshaynik! (spelling varies--a lot). It means "Stop bugging me" or similar. You can't bug a book, but you can hawk it--i.e., try hard to sell it. I agree that sandwich looked delicious.

He knows how to drive. He was driving down a highway after an argument with his wife (they were separated at the time) when she rear-ended him and then lost control of her car. That's how she died. So if anything, he may be traumatized about driving, but he is capable.

I missed whether this is a laptop or not. I'd be very careful about popping the keys off a laptop. In fact, I wouldn't do it myself at all. They're ridiculously easy to remove and next to impossible to put back on. I'd have a tech do it, one who swears s/he knows how to replace keys. Been there, done that, wanted to kill myself.

I don't know about any of that. All I know is they can't get rid of this clown fast enough for me.

Here, first line of the fifth paragraph. I swear I didn't make it up. This guy as a comic is the last thing I'd ever imagine, given how . . . funny he is.

No, there are actually 5 on it right now. The arms extend across the pole in 2 directions, and there are enough hooks to accommodate 8 things hanging from them. So we currently have 2 more or less vertical feeders, 2 tray-type feeders, and 1 of these Slinky-ish peanut feeders. Plus, there's a spike in the middle of one of the tray feeders that you can impale an apple on, or an ear of dried corn. We may install a make-your-own-taco bar next year. (I'm kidding.) The blue jays seem not to like this setup. They were here all the time when Mr. Mo was sprinkling nuts and seeds on the deck railing, but I said that had to stop, because the squirrels were using the railing as their personal toilet and there were sunflower hulls all over the outdoor rugs, so I couldn't go out barefoot. This is way better. I'd take a photo of it, but it's pouring buckets today and I don't feel like getting rained on.

This one at Home Depot says each hook can hold 10 pounds, with a maximum load of 15 pounds (which doesn't quite add up for me, but . . .). It's made of steel, and most of the reviews I read--not all by any means--stress how sturdy it is. What do you need to hang on it? I meant to add that if it doesn't have to be literally a hook, we bought a bird-feeder pole a couple months ago from Amazon that has 4 (I think) arms, each of which is supposed to hold at least 10 pounds. And it's also the first feeder pole we've ever had that really keeps squirrels from climbing up and cleaning out all the seeds, in case that matters to you. I won't link to Amazon, but it's called the Squirrel Stopper SQC05 Black Squirrel Stopper Pole and Baffle Set. The only problem is, it's pretty expensive. (I was shocked, but Mr. Mo has been really getting into birds. There's a nuthatch who eats out of his hand.)

AARP has a list of organizations that help retired people find jobs. Maybe you could try posting your job on one of these, @GussieK?

I see now that those are apple chunks, so I guess that does make it a meal of sorts. But I think what's absolutely crucial to determine is how they got the lid off the paprika jar. Because unless I'm totally mistaken, this can only mean that one of your dogs has opposable thumbs. And that . . . is terrifying.

What the heck did they get into? The little red bits look like makeup, but the big jar looks like paprika. Are we going to force them to testify, or will they plead the Fifth? Whoever's breath smells like goulash is the ringleader.

She's selling off her hair as well. Soon they'll be selling body parts: "Barely worn lips, inflated to that just-so poutiness." They must really be getting low on cash. Or Kash. What a sad bunch.

He grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, not Queens.

Why wood wee bee kneaded in edition to a bay sick spell Czech? Eye cant guest.

But not always. I recently had a book dedicated to me, which was very lovely and totally unexpected. We've done a lot of books together, though, the author and I, and we've become close friends. So not everything's a complaint.

I think of it as the plumber coming to your house to fix a leak and using all the wrong wrenches and fittings, and then after he leaves, the cleanup plumber comes and redoes it all correctly. Except he never gets the same credit or the same money as the first guy. But sometimes he (or she, mostly she in publishing) gets his name on the Plumbers' Acknowledgments Page. Only sometimes, though.

That's what I say, too--"If you knew the things you ought to know, I'd be out of work." So I try not to complain all that much.

Me, too. But only because the TV screen comes between what I'm throwing and his face. I read that this guy does stand-up? Where? In a mortuary? I think even dead people have higher standards. But at least he can go home and say he killed. They really need to let go of this clown.

Not surprised, @BexKeps. I had this happen (though not as nauseatingly dramatic as what you described) with the silicone bits on my water bottle, too. I'm guessing there's something about silicone and mold. I was able to buy replacements from Thermos, who makes the Intāk, for $1 a set (there are three parts to replace). Definitely a bargain. I bought multiples, because I really like this bottle.

I just looked at them, @GaT, and they look nice. I'm filing them away for future reference--thanks. If I live long enough, I'll eventually have to replace the Glasslocks, theoretically. Do you know if they can go into the microwave? I searched the front page, but there wasn't any mention of that.

The thing is, I don't think he did say it. On the tell-all he said it was a private matter and didn't elaborate (someone will correct me if this is wrong). She was the one who said exactly what it was, and she's been saying it ever since. If he's said it since then, I wouldn't really fault him for it. He might as well, since she opened the door to the subject. I'm gonna pick Door Number 2. TLC thinks Ed is a really big draw, so they needed to supply him with a story line for The Single Life. She's a waitress with a kid to support, so she probably needs the money. I'm guessing she could negotiate for a decent chunk of change, since who else would want to be touched by Ed? Or as I said when the news of their "engagement" was posted (and I think people who read that post believed I was joking, but I wasn't), she's even more damaged than she seems to be. Or both, money and crazy.

A peeve and a peeve solution: Today I went to put something in one of those locking food containers, and I noticed there was mold around the silicone gasket. This has happened before, and I was able to remove the gasket pretty easily to clean it. Not today. Today I made a hole in one gasket and broke another one right in half. So then I went looking for replacement gaskets, which it turns out are not a thing. But the company who makes my containers (Glasslock) will send you a brand-new lid for free. Of course there's a shipping charge, but that's still a lot less than buying a whole new container or a whole set of them. So the peeve is that the gaskets are very fragile. But in the course of this hunting, I found an easier and less destructive way than pointy tweezers (my weapon of choice) to get out the gasket. So if anyone else has this type of container--which I love, let me be clear--to remove the gasket you just take a credit card and pry it out, preferably at a corner. It takes a few tries, but eventually you get the hang of it. Easy peasy. I've done four of them now. P.S. This guy uses a plastic toothpick, but I think the ones we have are too flimsy.