Lantern7

Funny115: Mike scares the heck out of Sierra. Also, a sweet "Fuck You Brad Culpepper" title.

Fun episode with a surprising team advancing. NorCal Ninjas (David Campbell, Anna Schmaker, Brian Kretsch) vs. Young Bloods (Tyler Gillett, Bree Widener, Kevin Carbone) Things get physical right away, as Brian and Kevin ("The Maker"; inventor of the Wing Nuts) spar on the Ring Toss, with Brian smacking into Kevin and Kevin taking it. Kevin's stubbornness pays off, as Brian splashes from the Flying Shelf Grab. Bree (the horror makeup lady) completes to course, beating Anna and giving Young Bloods a 2-0 lead. Anna had the lead, but she had gotten her feet wet, and she elected to scale the Warped Wall barefoot, which did not work. With his team on the ropes, The Godfather clears the course to narrow the lead to 2-1. The subsequent relay comes down to a photo finish, as Tyler beats Brian to the buzzer with 0.02 seconds' difference, giving Young Bloods the surprise win. Team Wolf Pack (Ian Dory, Dan Yager, Jeri D'Aurelio) vs, Tre Amigoz (Tremay Dortsch, Andrew Lowes, Meghan Beatty) Andrew beats Ian for the surprise in a bit of a shocker. Meghan splashes off Shelf Grab with Jeri in front of her, which evens the score. Dan leads Tremayne when the latter splashes on a all-or-nothing lunge on the Shelf Grab. The relay comes down to a showdown between Ian and Tremayne. Both fail to clear the Warped Wall on the first try. Ian manages to win by two-thirds of a second, as Tremayne misses the buzzer, giving Wolf Pack the win. Final: Team Wolf Pack vs. Young Bloods Both Dan and Kevin gas out, but they manage to complete the extended course, with Kevin getting the win. Jeri leads most of her heat, but she gets her feet wet twice. Rushing to Shelf Grab, she skids off the trampoline and into the water. Bree clears the obstacle to give the upstarts a 2-0 lead. Ian and Tyler run neck-and-neck, but Ian slows on the Rumbling Dice, and Tyler wins to give the Young Bloods the unexpected sweep. Net week: Grant "Island Ninja" McCartney! Thomas "Genie Ninja" Stillings! The Towers of Power! Jessica Clayton! I had to look the last face up.

"This week on Gotham: Everybody tries to kill everybody else." Another week of askew shit. "Scandinavian Skinner" is an old lady? Hey, why not? Mr. Penn is into dressing and acting like a baby? Guy's gotta get his kink off somewhere. Oswald getting flash-frozen in a risky Trojan Horse gambit? He's game; reluctant, but game. And Sofia survives getting shot in the head . . . hey, it's Gotham City. Everybody gets the one near-death experience. Gotta love Ed trying to get Grundy, only to find out that Grundy is Butch again.All he wants to do is be normal, which . . . good luck with that, man. I liked an Arkham guy riddling Oswald, with "knuckle sandwich" being the punchline and Oswald realizing what's to come too late. "Man, Jim, why are things so complicated?!? We gotta get this guy to get that guy, and so on until we get Oswald." "Hey, there he is!" "Wow. Convenient!!" In other news, the touch of Ra's finally gets around to affecting Barbara, because she hasn't gone totally bugfuck this season. She's still snarky as hell, but she should always seen hanging by a frayed thread." Fuck you, Sampson. Here's hoping Leslie laid the hammer on his nuts after the hand. ETA: “I have a strong desire to never, ever see this pier again!”“I agree.” Gotham's greatest bromance is officially back on. Awesome!

So . . . two tribes of seven with a schmuck going to Ghost Island? Or three tribes of five?

*yaaaaaaaaaawnn* Still. Not. Caring. At all. I mean, Donathan has a nice story (in the sense that I feel for the guy), and Stephanie sounds like she's had a rough go of it (divorcing her husband AND her religion). So, of course, she gets voted off. I think Probst had $500 checks into each buff so that Michael (the young guy/great Reunion story) stays in the game. Oh, and Stephanie didn't play a game for a Cursed Idol. Do the players have to break the urns in order? That's been bugging me. I'm not even noticing whom Probst has wood for, but I know he has wood. And I'm guessing Mrs. Probst is okay with that, bless her heart. ETA: Desiree can handle sticking her head underwater while being pull to shore. Good for her, I guess?

On the after show, they showed who the winners were advancing to the Czech Republic.

"It takes an idiot to do cool things, and that's why it's cool." FLCL is forum-worthy, right? In other news, I like the Haruko design.

Depressing episode, satisfactory ending. Last week's Troika stacks the deck and produces a mission so embarrassing, Devin can't help but wank on the sideline. Because he's a huge asshole, you see. Then the guys on the winning team steamroll the girls, as Brad, Tony and Zach form the Troika, under the understanding that whichever girl gets picked won't go into the Ring. Of course, this is a lie. Sure, it's Natalie, and she's still got bits of Johnny's coattails under her nails, but it still sucks. Of course, they feed her to Kam, and Kam wins a simplistic rope-crossing Ring. Well, simplistic for her; I'd be upside-down almost immediately. IIRC, the only women to win three endgames in a season are Sarah Greyson and Casey Cooper. Then we get another mission with staggered starts, where it would be so easy to dismiss players who bring the least drama. By that logic, Nicole and Leroy are most likely toast. Well, Kyle did look laggy, but BMP would love having him and Cara having dirty pirate sex to celebrate the ultimate win. ETA: Brad helping hose the girls = Veteran guys hosing rookie Brad in BOTS2. Thoughts?

I kept meaning to ask . . . what's so bad about Nickelback? Maybe they're saving the hardcore stuff for when Chadwick Boseman hosts. Is N'Jobu in the first scene? That would be a bit of a spoiler. I did like the idea of some American schmuck in the spirit realm because he was married to a Dora Milaje. Apparently, it's funny when Kenan Thompson bitches about being turned into a warthog and grilling lion meat. Work for me at least. ETA: I'm one of the twelve people in North America not familiar with the Bachelor finale, so the cold open was lost on me. On the bright side, Alex & Conor from The Amazing Race now look like princes compared to Arie the IndyCar driver.

@SnideAsides . . . I'll bite. Where did you work? There's not much love for the US version on Facebook. I did stumble into a post about some of the older alumni meeting up. I wish I had known, but I'm happy some of them keep in touch with each other. ETA for @SnideAsides . . . what's so funny about that GIF? I guess that I'm more into obvious humor . . . like Claire taking a watermelon to the face going Mach 2.

And now Caity Lotz is campaigning play Silver Banshee on Supergirl. Hey, what if that character just changed her look, and the first person she meets is Alex? Anyway, we had Mallus!Sara and Gary actually contributing to the plot without being a buttmonkey. Also, Mick has the power of fire at his fingertips, and that should be way more scary than Mallus!Sara. But he's not. Basically, he's a dragon that seldom comes out of his cave until he runs out of beer. He doesn't strike me as a total pyromaniac these days, but you wouldn't want him to get any more firepower (rimshot) than his gun. And I'm guessing none of the Legends knows he was Chronos in S1. That was also the season with the Hawkpeople and Vandal Savage, so maybe we should ignore it entirely. I'm going to have to catch Constantine, huh? The character doesn't do much for me in any visual incarnation. For Pete's sake, isn't it supposed to rhyme with "twine," not "teen"? And I guess that if we have an interdimesional time demon plaguing the Legends this season, they might need him more often. I'm thinking that constant death is the reason Sara doesn't want to make things stronger with Ava. Probably also explains why she kisses and runs so often. Would she do the same thing if she was still in Star City? Traveling through time, it's so much easier to have temporary hookups. And she got an interdimensional ONS, which she probably never thought was possible. Seriously, Gary not only helped the team out and not get smacked by Ava, he also made a new bestie in Constantine. Now I'm hoping that he gets torn in half by Grodd a little less.

Want something offbeat? How about Black Lightning teaming up with Hong Kong Phooey?

@ImpinAintEasy . .. maybe the bigger guns are brought in as mercenaries?

Stop Being Polite announces S32 cast. I hope it's not too horrible for me to hope that the "Final" in "Final Reckoning" means that this is the last season.

@Sandman87 . . . I think they run neck and neck. Not the Sheriff's fault that a small crime wave hit the town, or that Mr. Pickles has Satanic powers, yet can't sense when a camera crew approaches while he's wearing a skin suit as he fucks a donkey. Speaking of Mr. Pickles . . . .is it me, or has he had to work harder this season? At least we know why those two bullies are fucked up. Their parents are even bigger assholes. I liked Mr. Pickles going through the credits as Timmy was screaming for help. I also like the variations in the opening credits this season. ETA: Found a nice Easter egg . . . building with a "Mountain Lion Abortion" sign. Hey, sometimes you have to reference the best.

Well, that was the first season, and we're on the third (discounting College Madness). And then I looked up Wikipedia and found that all three members of Storm Team (Joe Moravsky, Josh Levin, Allyssa Beird) aren't on this season. So perhaps we should point out Brian and Jake still excelling . .. at least this season.

Man, John really likes poking the bear. Um, bunny. I never heard of Marlon, and now he's got a book coming out? Millie had to have puppies before she had her tell-all. In other news, I know that Pence is not a good person, and I hope there's a plan to deal with him if/when his boss leaves office (voluntarily or otherwise). And I know I said this last, but I need to repeat: How come nobody says "Bottom of the Morning"? Also, does anybody have a link of the one asshole falling down in the end?

Found this on Cheezburger . . . a study on howler monkeys from 2015. Given how those guys have popped up on several seasons of Survivor, I thought it wasn't too off-topic.

This week: Polnareff actually figures out a way to not get his throat slit, via creative use of the barber's chair. And that's his high point for the episode, as Anubis ("wielding" the barber Khan) inflicts damage on the Frenchman. And because Anubis can learn from prior fights, it dodges Silver Chariot's "do or die" attack, so Jotaro has to intercede. Star Platinum gets the win, but thanks to a sequence of comedic errors, Polnareff gets the sword, and Anubis has two blades to play with. Jotaro wins on sheer guts. No, really, he takes a blade to the stomach, and Star Platinum chops Anubis down to size. Game over. Except it's not. In the first battle, the tip of Anubis gets broken off . . . so when a schmuck kid touches it, Anubis possesses him. As our heroes are still recovering (Jotaro needs to rest, he's that fucked up), Anubis compels the child to throw the blade. But the kid had previously dropped his lollipop. Of course, that brings in Iggy, who knocks the kid off-balance, and Anubis winds up sinking to the bottom of the nearby Nile River, panicking like a punk the entire time. Also, I think he kinda resembled Beerus from Dragon Ball Super. In the end, Jotaro and Polnareff don't know the bullet blade that they dodged, Polnareff still hates Iggy, Iggy still jumps on his face and passes gas. Oh, and the next Stand user arrives in the form of a really attractive woman. I can't overstate how goofy Anubis looked as he(?) tried to compel the blade to not go into the Nile. Fun shit.

My episode title: "The Book of HOLY SHIT WHY IS LAWANDA NAKED?!??!? WHY IS SHE KISSING THE GUY THAT KILLED HER?!?!?!???" Reading the posts here, I realize now that probably not LaWanda, but that was still so icky. Even worse than the episode of Justice League Unlimited where Amanda Waller comes out of the shower to find Batman waiting for her. Damn, Freelanders are a fickle bunch. Then again, given the sheer amount of misery in Freeland, of course they figured Black Lightning would murder the beloved (and not at all evil as fuck) Lady Eve. If Black Lightning merch was a thing, we'd see a bonfire scene. Jennifer's turning canon. Question: would her lightning be different from her father's? The only difference I see is that she has red eyes. Funny that this episode followed The Flash, where Iris got Barry's speed with purple lightning. Also: how dumb was Jennifer's friend? "Hey, there's an unstable ladder. Little-known fact about student politics: the higher you put up your posters, the greater your odds in the election!" Ugh. It was funny that Jennifer didn't save her when she "turned on," and the lightning just wasted the phone and singed the posters. Nice that Anissa isn't in the official outfit yet, and that there's not much impatience from her while she's training. Still loving the holographic Hogan's Alley, complete with reactions from the "targets." Also fun to see Jefferson to get her daughter to use her powers with finesse. And shit, looks like Gambi's falling apart. At least we'll probably get the origin episode next week. Jefferson was shook. And I'm willing to bet that he destroy's Anissa suit, because Gambi filled in with stuff to spy on her. . . . and that's a "like" for you. Even though LaWanda didn't seem the least bit promiscuous . . . still funny.

I kept meaning to check on the Paralympics, since NBC is covering it. Well, on their extended sports cable networks, but it's better than nothing. Anyway, Amy Purdy got a silver medal in Snowboard Cross and a bronze in Banked Slalom. Both were for boarders with "Lower Limb 1 Impaired." I know, Amy made a far greater impact in Dancing With The Stars, but I still consider her a Racer. Once again: how fucked up was it that the woman who lost both of her legs would only run two legs in TAR21?

Vegito* probably has a plan. Remember, he got turned into candy and beat the snot out of Buu. You think he'd let sticky assimilation deter him? *Years ago, before the timeskip aired in the States, I heard the fused fighter's name was Gogeta. That sounds better, doesn't it?

I like this Wizard King. He's more Asta than Yuno, and he's not above snooping on the protagonists. I know, right? Once you leave Hage, nice people become a huge minority. And I'm guessing the Golden Dawn captain might be a dick . . . though I'm mostly getting that impression from his mask.

The future is looking bleak. A fourth season should be a gimme, right? If Adult Swim wants it to end thanks to toxic fanboys, give Harmon and Co. more than ten episodes to work out a conclusion to their liking.

Caught up tonight. More over-the-top fun and lots of reunions. Also, Sofia is the worst kinda-sorta-sister-in-law ever. Needless to say, she will die at Leslie's hands. And since Leslie's the smart doctor, it's going to be methodical and painful. "You know that whole thing about doing no harm? I've had to rethink a lot of things in Gotham." And the guy who regained the Narrows? Yeah, he'll die a grisly death. Minimum, it will be an insane way to go. Sidenote: isn't Butch with Tabitha? I don't remember him coming back, but I could be wrong. Minimum, he's probably recovering from becoming a near-brain-dead zombie. Or maybe he's getting acquainted with this regrown hand. Over in Agents of SHIELD, Elena watches and bangs her head against a wall. Poor Ed. He finally finds a place to fit in, and now he's either dead or consumed by Riddler. It's probably for the best; that villain's relative chill balances out Oswald's craziness. @SnarkyTart prefers him sipping from a teacup than Ivy's blowing on a flower. I understand that, but my motivation for that would be for something to go wrong, so he can throw a fit, breaking the teacup and the accompanying stuff (plate, kettle, etc.) Then Ed walks in, cleans up the mess, and calms his buddy down. I'm thinking this Ivy is just hypersensitive around plants. And probably all vegetables. Seeing a guy seeing a pickle sets her off? Okay, I get that she was going to kill that guy in her pursuit of Harvey, but that was harsh. Something show her the Swamp Thing story from Alan Moore where Floronic Man tries to claim the Earth for plants. In other news, Selina continues to hang tough in general. I know she's a canon character, but I fear for her future. At least Bruce was contrite. Telling Alfred that killing Ra's al Guhl sending him to a bottomless pit of debauchery that only a near-fatal drug trip could snap up out of it wouldn't really play out well. But he has a moment before the shit hits the fan, and he saves people. And he gets shot by Jim. Thirty years from now, they'll be laughing about that.