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Heh . . . so Johnny is Bernie Madoff? If that means him going to prison, I’m there. Thinking of that one episode of Teen Titans Go! Now I got Beast Boy in my head, yelling, “I got that Mummy Money!!!”

Adam & Bethany welcome their second child into the world. Adam with mustache: yay or nay?

In case you didn't hear, Maryse & Mike had their first kid. Wrestlers reproducing squicks me out a little, and reality "veterans" doing that unnerves me a lot (fuck, Kenny just pulled that off), but I think little Monroe is in good hands. ETA: Wes invites Johnny to lick his ginger nuts. Okay, he doesn't say it like that, but it's a bit implied. Holy crap, might have to like Wes E. Coyote now.

Part of the reason I've been calling her "Killbot." Killbots don't have time for humanity. Also, I don't think Killbots can dance . . . .and that's why I'm disappointed the crowd voted Leroy into the dance-off with Nessa's guest co-host.

Like I said late last year: I'm so ambivalent about this season, it barely hurts. Hey, we get one more swap, this time going to three teams! And Ghost Island doesn't get used, even though the producers made a Big Honking Deal about the concept, and they got at least ten idols tied to past miscues, and they're itching to show them all over again. Sadly, I don't think they're going to use the idol JT gave to Russell in S20, since the Heinous Hobbit didn't completely fuck up playing it. I know Erik's at peace with his S16 decision; he's been doing cartoons on running seasons, and here's the first one about Ghost Island. That's his ghost next to James' tormented specter, right? Dang, Desiree has lungs. Of course, given that most of the challenges have different components, "solving puzzles blindfolded" negates the "getting your tribe to find stuff and not purposely make them bonk into stuff." Man, doesn't matter who plays under the Monolo banner, does it? You could take the Koror tribe straight from S10 and give them Monolo buffs. Within a week, three of them would be voted out (including Tom), there would be more breakdowns, and Ian would've tried to hang himself. Of course, it doesn't work because he's too damn tall. Oh, and this would be a Koror tribe without Willard and Janu. I'd consider them for "Most Boring." Is it better to feel rage at assholes on the show, as opposed to barely anything? What is his "go to" tribe for that right now? I'd think Ulong. You have to wonder if Koror (particularly Tom and Ian) would've run the table if there were idols falling from the sky like manna. That's been happening for me in recent seasons.Maybe sixteen was the best number to start with. "Survivor: Ghost Island: At Least The Logo Looks Dope!" "But you don't show it in the credits. You don't have any credits at all!” “FUCK!! I knew we forgot something!"

I'm working a 9-5 job . . . so if the Mets get a remarkable Opening Day win, I'm probably going to miss it. I lack DVR space, but I did set up for the pregame show, where there could be festivities at Citi Fileld. I'm still bemused that some think the Mets could contend, even if it's just a wild card spot below the mighty Nationals.

Watched last night’s episode. Loved Trevor laughing at the n-bomb joke, as well as Roy & Dulce’s “Ask a Black” commercial. Sadly, we had an appearance of Comedy Central Trump. I had to delete a lot of DVR episodes, partially because I felt the actor did too good a job in irritating my ass. Arm teachers and students with stones to deter shooters? Hey, why the fuck not?? ?

Wow, we got rid of a lot of dead weight. Devin loses, so you know Johnny's erection is going to last linger than four hours. Jemmye fails to make yet another final. Nelson goesout due to poor wall-dodging. Brad gets bounced by Leroy, who was about as angry as I've seen him (re: reasonably so). And thanks to Laurel getting the job done as a Mercenary, Kam and Nicole (irony!!) get their tickets punched for the final, joining Cara Maria and Kailah. I think four is the record for most Challengers ousted in an episode. I can't recall five. Seriously, it's a bit of a shame Devin failed to reach the final after his greatest wish came true. The feeling is offset by him being a prick, though. He's still going to be AYTO Wes to me . . . a guy that thinks too highly of his intelligence who usually goes over the cliff, slamming into the canyon ground below. Nice final mission, though I would've had the points for the "walls" go higher the further down the course that the trucks rushed. Also a bit cool that the better players got a second shot at a higher speed. In my head, Marty McFly was all, "Lets see how you bastards handle 90!" Leroy did come off as entitled . . . but he's still not a raging dick about it. He'll cuss out Tony and Cara Maria, but that's as far as it goes. I'll admit that watching the Ring get explained that I figured Brad would win. His knocking the wall down helped, but Leroy got the win to survive. At this point, I just want him to win once. Is the finale next week, or did it come in two parts? And, of course, Johnny is there. What, is Teege going to eliminated the people who slurp upon him the least? Per the After Show: ETA; I got corrected on Facebook; Jemmye made the finale of Rivals II with Camila.

Found this. I think this is Theo's full set, since the episode only runs thirty minutes. Enjoy!

Once again, my headcanon says the troops were able to see Luke with their eyes, but not by scanners. Afterward, they looked at the footage, and it was five minutes of Kylo Ren flailing around like Star Wars Kid. I didn’t think of SWK in relation to that final shot.

I'll have to rewatch. In the meantime, here's seven minutes of Jan-Ken-Pon anime fun, including Gon ripping up the spider dude and the Bomber. Be warned: lots of Nichijou is included.

Fun episode. Clones, family strife, and Zari coaching Mick at her absolute worst time. Also, I think Gary will be making a Noble Sacrifice by the finale. Sadly, he was next to useless this week. I did like him "shipping" Ava and Sara. Fuck me running. Really, CW?!? I mean, awesome the the network gives DC Comics so much time on your schedule, but couldn'y you guys order 22 episodes? I mean, does the world really need "Archie-ville"?!? Only Riverdale girls are supposed to be hot, and Jughead isn't supposed to make girls swoon. Except for Big Ethel. C'mon, we had Damien fake-torture Nate. That was awesome. Poor Damien. Poor evil Damien. Looks like Mallus is promoting Nora over him, and she kills Kuasa. Dang. Of course, Vixen isn't around. She's about as easy to find on-camera as Vera Peterson and Maris Crane. Luckily, we have Amaya, and she has her totem back. Also, her dopey-ass boyfriend. I think he outdorked Ray this week. At least Ray took out a few Avas. Wally gets the third spot . . . I know, this gig is new for the kid, but he likes to figuratively run into a brick wall. I think he has to potential to be the next Jax, in the sense that he would get teamed with Ray and Nate and have more common sense than two grown men. Looks like Zari will be leaving an Islam For Dummies book outside Mick's room. I think that he gives a crap, but he doesn't always gives a crap. Also, he's into the "more is more" theory. His totem allows for many uses, and all he does is fireball and roast. To be fair, he probably does that with his (seldom-seen) flame gun. I did like the bonding with Zari, though. I would've figured that if the Groundhog Day crap actually did happen, she'd have more of a grasp on Mick.

The next episode us slated for ninety-plus minutes, so we'll be having an After Show a little after 10 p.m. Tune in to see which Challengers show up unbelievably overdressed!

Maybe the rule can only be applied to the regular season. Down side would be waking up, turning on the TV, and finding out that Game 7 is still going on. And thanks to commercials, they’re “only” in the 20th inning. At that point, I’d be all for suspending the game and giving the teams a half-day to rest. Or maybe replay the game?

I'm great with a pitching clock. I mean, if we have automatically-enforced intentional walks, why not? Here in New York, the Yankees are picked to win their 28th title. The Mets are predicted to do well. In the Sports Illustrated entry, they said that if the Mets' pitching is healthy, they're a World Series contender. My response: "You have seen these guys, right?" Even if the corps doesn't blow their arms out and Mickey Callaway takes special care of them, I don't think fans would feel safe. Because the instant they do, they all go down. "Man, what were the odds all five guys would get felled by falling pianos in five different incidents?" "Only the Mets, man. Only the Mets."

The air quotes are what set me off. First of all: lame. Second, I kinda want somebody to break those fingers. Seriously, how long will it be before Jordan breaks character during an episode? As opposed to a few times in the cold open. Even if he's all "Whatever you do, DO NOT go to this website to learn more," there's a breaking point where he admits that his act is an act. I don't think Stephen Colbert did that on TCR, even for Election Night 2008 where he looked teary-eyed at Obama officially winning.

It feels ill-conceived to me. On the other hand, if something like that gets implemented after 12-13 innings, that might not be a bad thing. I'm thinking if a game goes 14 innings and four-and-a-half hours, pitchers are removed, and pitching machines manned by coaches are brought out. And if a ball hits the machine, it's out of play.

"On tonight's Stardust Crusaders, the role of buttmonkey shall not be played by Jean Pierre Polnareff. Instead, that role shall be played by Joseph Joestar." Seriously, Joseph/Oldjo acts the fool from the jump. He freaks out about the prospect of using sand in place of toilet paper. He gets shocked by a power outlet embedded in a giant rock. Yes . . . A ROCK. Fails to notice metal stuff sticking to him. Almost gets killed on an escalator. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, as he gets nailed by Mariah (common enough a name not to deal with Ms. Carey's lawyers) and her magnetism Stand, Bast (hey, just in time for Black Panther in theaters!!) And as if that wasn't bad enough, Avdol gets zapped as well, and now the guys are stuck to each other. The whole episode is hysterical, especially with Oldjo screaming in Engrish. Bonus: some poor bastard is building a box, and he has three nails in his teeth with Oldjo passes by. The nails ripped through his cheek. Oh, and the Speedwagon Foundation doctors are coming to fix Kakioyin. Is it weird that I think that group would make for an interesting spinoff based on most incarnations? Basically, these are people who help the Joestars, and they could specialize in weird shit. I'm thinking intricate eye surgery performed on agents, enabling them to see Stands. ETA: Iggy went with Oldjo while he was trying to find a place to shit. Apparently, Iggy is supposed to detect Stands. Nice job, Iggy. "Hey, what do you bastards want with me? I'm a dog! All I can do in Stand there. Bum-de-bump tssssh!" There was supposed to be a drum rimshot, which gets used in this series. ETA: Here's a brief compilation of anime characters going "Oh, my God!" And guess who provides the first example?

We have a dystopian future where there’s only one powerful guy, and he can’t measure up to the ultimate evil. Oh, and Yajirobe is still alive. Of course he is. Korin sacrificed himself for him to live. Basically, it’s Goku Black vs. Vegeta, and Veggie doesn’t stack up. And then Zamasu shows up, making things weirder as we fade to credits. Why am I posting this soon? Here’s another Team Four Star scene, where Goku Black introduces Vegeta to the power of Super Saipan Rosé. Just had to copy the word for the accent. In the Honest Game Trailer for Dragon Ball Fighterz, Goku Black is labeled “Edgelord Goku.” Accurate?

Briefly poked through the MLB preview issue of Sports Illustrated. Mets' over/under win total has been set at 81; they're projected to finish second in the NL East with 88 wins, get a wild card spot, defeat the Diamondbacks in the play-in game (Dbacks are projected at 88 wins as well, so it's not specified which team hosts), and get defeated by the Nationals in the NLDS. Man, SI is optimistic AF.

Fitz goes all Tyler Durden. Can't wait for the scene where he beats himself up and quits SHIELD with a generous severance package. Seriously, I'm betting he's gotten so little sleep in addition to feeling the need to carry everything on his shoulders. Also, he has to occasionally deal with Idiot Future Boy . . . and he doesn't even though the guy is his grandson. No wonder Leopold came charging back. Just so I'm clear . . . Hydra is supposed to be gone, right? I mean, gone gone? I guess the writers flipped a coin, and tails was figuring out how to bring Ward back. Also, we got Snarky Morbid Coulson, so that should be fun. "These guys again?!? I need a change. Maybe terrorists running around trying to inflict off-brand cookies. Y'know, 'HAIL HYDROX!!!'" "Stop talking, Phil. For God's sake."

Funny115: Mike scares the heck out of Sierra. Also, a sweet "Fuck You Brad Culpepper" title.

Fun episode with a surprising team advancing. NorCal Ninjas (David Campbell, Anna Schmaker, Brian Kretsch) vs. Young Bloods (Tyler Gillett, Bree Widener, Kevin Carbone) Things get physical right away, as Brian and Kevin ("The Maker"; inventor of the Wing Nuts) spar on the Ring Toss, with Brian smacking into Kevin and Kevin taking it. Kevin's stubbornness pays off, as Brian splashes from the Flying Shelf Grab. Bree (the horror makeup lady) completes to course, beating Anna and giving Young Bloods a 2-0 lead. Anna had the lead, but she had gotten her feet wet, and she elected to scale the Warped Wall barefoot, which did not work. With his team on the ropes, The Godfather clears the course to narrow the lead to 2-1. The subsequent relay comes down to a photo finish, as Tyler beats Brian to the buzzer with 0.02 seconds' difference, giving Young Bloods the surprise win. Team Wolf Pack (Ian Dory, Dan Yager, Jeri D'Aurelio) vs, Tre Amigoz (Tremay Dortsch, Andrew Lowes, Meghan Beatty) Andrew beats Ian for the surprise in a bit of a shocker. Meghan splashes off Shelf Grab with Jeri in front of her, which evens the score. Dan leads Tremayne when the latter splashes on a all-or-nothing lunge on the Shelf Grab. The relay comes down to a showdown between Ian and Tremayne. Both fail to clear the Warped Wall on the first try. Ian manages to win by two-thirds of a second, as Tremayne misses the buzzer, giving Wolf Pack the win. Final: Team Wolf Pack vs. Young Bloods Both Dan and Kevin gas out, but they manage to complete the extended course, with Kevin getting the win. Jeri leads most of her heat, but she gets her feet wet twice. Rushing to Shelf Grab, she skids off the trampoline and into the water. Bree clears the obstacle to give the upstarts a 2-0 lead. Ian and Tyler run neck-and-neck, but Ian slows on the Rumbling Dice, and Tyler wins to give the Young Bloods the unexpected sweep. Net week: Grant "Island Ninja" McCartney! Thomas "Genie Ninja" Stillings! The Towers of Power! Jessica Clayton! I had to look the last face up.

"This week on Gotham: Everybody tries to kill everybody else." Another week of askew shit. "Scandinavian Skinner" is an old lady? Hey, why not? Mr. Penn is into dressing and acting like a baby? Guy's gotta get his kink off somewhere. Oswald getting flash-frozen in a risky Trojan Horse gambit? He's game; reluctant, but game. And Sofia survives getting shot in the head . . . hey, it's Gotham City. Everybody gets the one near-death experience. Gotta love Ed trying to get Grundy, only to find out that Grundy is Butch again.All he wants to do is be normal, which . . . good luck with that, man. I liked an Arkham guy riddling Oswald, with "knuckle sandwich" being the punchline and Oswald realizing what's to come too late. "Man, Jim, why are things so complicated?!? We gotta get this guy to get that guy, and so on until we get Oswald." "Hey, there he is!" "Wow. Convenient!!" In other news, the touch of Ra's finally gets around to affecting Barbara, because she hasn't gone totally bugfuck this season. She's still snarky as hell, but she should always seen hanging by a frayed thread." Fuck you, Sampson. Here's hoping Leslie laid the hammer on his nuts after the hand. ETA: “I have a strong desire to never, ever see this pier again!”“I agree.” Gotham's greatest bromance is officially back on. Awesome!

So . . . two tribes of seven with a schmuck going to Ghost Island? Or three tribes of five?