Lantern7

"Well, I guess I was the first '#blindside' of the season!" "Ummmm, I got bad news for you." I can't hate Jessica. I'd say the same thing. "The others saw me as a threat . . . " "You couldn't sink a basket from two feet away, and the other tribe came from an hour behind to win!" "And I was blindsided." "You knew! They were singing about how they were going to vote you off on the way to Council! It took longer to do because half of the tribe was building an effigy of you to burn after you left!!" Seriously, though, who was Jessica? With Lyresa, I'm all, "Yeah, purple hair." That's the biggest reason why I'm happy she's still there. As much as the tribal winnings has gotten bigger over the years, at least the weather can make players miserable and visibly shiver. Natalie . . . she'll go far. If she gets to Day 39, it'll be as a sacrificial goat. Once again, though, I'd like to put "People Would Take a Bullet For Him" on my business card. Once again, why does things come down to puzzles? Like, most of the time. At least the balance aspect keeping things interesting. Dan leaving his idol out . . . yeah, going through other people's stuff is shady, but he's a dope for leaving it with his clothes.

Here's a bit from Last Week Tonight from 2014 on NFL cheerleaders. I'm thinking maybe teams don't need cheerleaders. Even if they are well-compensated and not subjected to humiliation and injury (split tests? for real?!?) by their own employers, the original core concept (leading cheers) seems outmoded. Also: it's tough trying to word that without feeling like a dick. I can see Sam staring at me, making crybaby motions before rolling her eyes. And I wouldn't blame her.

I don't know if the captions can be turned off. Bigger picture: Harvey's back, and a lot of his friends are coming out of retirement!

Midseason teaser.

In case you didn't know, no new episode this week. Wild Card game instead.

II wound up at a viewing party. In attendance: Johnny (of course; he did a thing at DragCon the previous weekend, so I guess he had a place to crash), Derrick, Kam, Marie and Jenna. Jenna is FINE. I mean, I feel weird saying that in the sense you could probably stick a teenager between our birth years, but she was. And yeah, I would hope she can do better than Zach. Not like I'd have the onions to tell her that. Then again, she probably hears that all the time. Once again, things go sideways from where BMP probably wanted them to go. Look at Cory and Devin jumping, grabbing the rope, then letting go. I'm convinced a lot of these people would've made good lawyers, because they always seem to find a loophole, sometimes by accident. Didn't know those were metal medallions until I saw how fucked up Zach got. Naturally, another mercenary team gets a berth into the house, even though it's late in the game. This was a fun episode to watch with a bar full of people. Basically, everyone acted the fool. Zach pulls a Jordan, only it was more along the lines of "Fuck it, my partner's an idiot anyway." Da'vonne did some choice cussing. I always say "Big Brother ruins everything." I think that should be amended to "Big Brother can ruin anything." Shane is basically Shane, so he still sucks. Johnny gets off in one piece. Yeah, he's got another rival gunning for him, but I thought he and Tony Two Kids were R-House-bound, given the episode title. One awesome part: now we got Brad and Zach in R-House with Paulie. And Paulie is begging for a beating. Seriously, why the fuck is Cara Maria with him today? Someone has to be paying her. No, not like that . . .she gets money for keeping Paulie away from everybody else. Honestly, if he gets worked over by one or both alpha males, would that be so horrible? Nope . . . someone pulls the Double Cross, picks him and Natalie (who?) and beats them, because this season is fucked up enough where a team can get eliminated four times.

Who didn’t see Dean and Sirena (Derena?) coming? I don’t think we’ve seen the brothers have a huge and serious fight, but we might get one next week. Or next season, in early 2020. Monarch is still a lucky bastard. Time travelers come in long enough to distract Mission Creep, resulting in a fatal lawn dart to the head. Man, the Peril Partnership must he lame as hell if he was leader. In terms of hoarding, maybe he’s related to St. Cloud. As a fan of G.I. Joe way back in the day, I approve of “Forecast Manufactuer.” This week’s tee: Dragon Finkelstein. Too white for me, and too white in concept. ? Is Gary running it, or just helping out?

Memory erasing, Titans being born, and apparently Kenny might be related to Mikasa. Also: Eren chained and gagged while topless, and a noble hung upside-down with a funnel stuck in his ass for forced feeding. Also, the flashback to Eren's dad attacking him with a syringe. In Team Four Star's abridgement of the first few episodes (which only got that far before the powers that be shut it down), here was the dialogue: Grisha: Now son, stop being a [sexist slur] and take your medicine! Eren: NO DADDY, YAMETE!!! Oh, and they played Ugly Kid Joe's cover of "Cats In The Cradle" for both seconds. But now I'm guessing . . . Eren Titaned out and ate his dad? That seems . . . a little too Goku for me.

I believe this will happen tomorrow.

Watched it. Hearing Kavanaugh run through women’s names, I swear that I was thinking “Mambo No. 5.” And then John actually used that reference. Now I’m thinking of Lou Bega kicking back and collecting the royalties. I didn’t get to watch the chaos, so seeing the highlights was jarring. Really not far removed from the SNL cold open. This is our reality. In regard to the Philadelphia Flyers’ horrific mascot . . . wouldn’t John have said the same thing about the Philly Phanatic when he came out? But yeah, Sketti (?) does look like the product of Muppet incest fucking.

I really hope this is about misunderstanding and overreaction, because Priest Maxie tried to change Catholic doctrine to prevent sexual assault. Almost killed himself going through levels of Pitfall to boot.

Saw this, remembered the tail end of Frisky Dingo.

Mets end their year at 77-85 . . . seven games better than last year. Did it feel slightly better overall? Great that Thor got a complete game shutout, David Wright got his last hurrah, and deGrom is assured of a Cy Young Award . . . but man, it felt like a flight where the engines kept exploding.

Before I forget to ask: has it been established as to what has been the longest sketch in SNL history? I'm thinking the Bush/Clinton/Perot debate, but the cold open here probably came close. Does the former get a higher degree of difficulty because the actors had to interact with tape of Dana-as-Perot? Also, I'm hoping Pete will be okay. I don't think he and Ariana will last, but that's more about relationships in the pop culture zeitgeist than possible self-destruction.

This week: we steer away from the main drama, going with milquetoast Koichi instead. He falls prey to con artist asshole Tamami Kobayashi, who has a Stand (The Lock) that manifests itself as a giant padlock that clings to people through guilt. After Josuke and Okuyasu thwart Tamami's "money for running over and killing my bagged cat" scheme (don't worry, the "cat" was a doll), the short-stacked bastard with the flattop goes double or nothing, gunning for Koichi's family for more money. And that's enough to hatch his Stand's egg . . . leaving us a weird creature that can manifest onomatopoeia in kanji. It's a lot more interesting than I can write it. Anyway, the nameless Stand messes up Tamimi, and persuades Koichi's mother not to kill herself over what she thought was her thieving son. Seriously, the padlock was weighing her down, she grabbed a knife, and she was going to end it all. Only this show, you know?

I guess video game sketches are cool after Boo Boo Jenkins. I was at a small comic show last week, and they had consoles with Fortnite. Didn't play it. Kinda wanted to, but kids were there the whole time. I should have taken pictures of that every 10-15 minutes, because those might have been the same kids. I reckon we should stop trying to figure out Kanye West. Or just call him "Gay Fish" and be done with it. Spelled "Ego," pronounced "Eggo." Hey, a Kyle sketch without Colin getting horribly injured! I know, that probably applies only when Leslie is involved. Kyle did get run through by a sword from Pete, so I guess that counts.

In light of Toonami bringing back Dragon Ball Z Kai, I need to bring up Team Four Star again. They've been abridging DBZ for years, and they wrapped up the Cell saga. There's also a lot of side stuff, like movie abridgements, songs (including this parody of "Dragon Soul"), and the occasional merchandise pitch. But the main stuff is great. They do right by the characters, yet still manage to me hilarious. What other sources of DBZ humor do you know about? For me, there's SSJ9K on Youtube,also known as "The Legendary Negro Saiyan" on Facebook. A lot of it focuses on song parodies, and scenarios where Goku and Vegeta are black . . . like meeting with a surprisingly racist Buu. There are also choice DBZ AMVs here and here.

If I’m Goku, I’d be screaming about how I just wanted to fight the strongest people ever, and I didn’t know the Xenoes/Xeni/Whatever would use the tournament as a reason to destroy universes. If Goku is the bad guy, he’s the most reluctant bad guy ever. Also, if the true weight of what he started really hit him, he’d be a wreck.

@Matt K . . . I was going by the schedule from the AS site. The cable I got says “XI.”

Once again, new lineup starts tonight. 9:00 PM Dragon Ball Z Kai (from the very beginning. Great that nobody's abridging GT, but I question the need. Also, note the start time) 09:30 PM My Hero Academia (new time, moving back 30 minutes) 10:00 PM Naruto: Shippuden (moved from 2 a.m.) 10:30 PM Boruto: Naruto Next Generations (spoilers for Shippuden!) 11:00 PM Dragon Ball Super 11:30 PM FLCL: Alternative 12:00 AM Attack on Titan 12:30 AM JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable 01:00 AM Black Clover 01:30 AM Hunter x Hunter 02:00 AM One-Punch Man (moved from the end of the block) 02:30 AM Lupin The 3rd Part 4 (they're coming to the end of "reruns" for this, right? Like I've said, lots of fun, but I get why it doesn't get the love here) 03:00 AM Cowboy Bebop 03:30 AM Samurai Jack (from the very beginning, not the final season) And if you still want fun, The Boondocks and Black Dynamite run back-to-back afterward. Both episodes from first seasons, so they're pretty good.

Clip of Jodie going through regeneration nuttiness. This Doctor does seem a little more balanced than the previous incarnation. It took Twelve a while to get right in the head in "Deep Breath."

Bumping up because there’s been similar talk over on the Media thread.

I was thinking that. Did you also wonder what would happen if he shaved his head? "God Mode" is my first thought . . . or at least 1985 Dwight Gooden, without the hindsight that he might have been on cocaine at that time.

Checking in to see if anybody is keeping up . . . especially since Toonami is moving the show to 10 p.m., followed by Boruto. Last episode was pretty funny . . . Kakashi gets ready to become Hokage, and Guy challenges him to a final manly race. Given the tone from the anime, it was refreshing. Also, apparently one dude gets to carve portraits on Hokage Rock. Huge comedy of errors . . . he's ready to start with Danzo, but Kakashi is named Hokage. At the end of the episode, he's ready to start . . . only to hear that Tsunade has miraculously awakened. That would be annoying. Please tell me one of you sees Hokage Rock and thinks "Mt. Ninjmore."