Pepper Mostly

She takes the pan out of the oven and plunks it right on the table. What the?

Her daughters are headed to 600 pound land too. She's "taking a break". DUN DUN DUN.

She walked eleven steps. What a hero.

HOLY SHIT SHE IS 4'11" and clocks in at over 600 pounds. I cannot.

Dear God those pants. I'm traumatized. Honey, you left 600 behind long ago.

Let us now observe Chrystal "raising" her kids. this involves her sitting at the kitchen door and watching them cook her bushel baskets full of food. Paper plates, check!

Hola fat chatters! How's everyone's week going? Eating habit? Salad, of course. Followed by a coffee chocolate chip Yasso bar. Then I had three squares of Dove chocolate, which are not on da diet. Grapes are the Devil's Fruit. I confess I've really been eating a lot of the tasty little imps from hell lately.

Well peeps. that's a wrap! See some of you Wednesday for fat Chat. Love you all, have a great week!

Pick me! Pick me!

And now he's casting aspersions for something he thinks she did. He will never stop suspecting her, accusing her, and insulting her. God I hate this sneering, snotty little weasel.

"He told her" HE TOLD HER. He does not get to "tell" her to do anything! Who are these people? And now he sneers "I'm SORRY. All right? Geez, you're so over sensitive". I'd throw a shoe at him.

They've been heavily invested in telling Julia what to do from the instant her plane landed. She needs to run like the wind from this smothering, controlling trio.

Brandon and his repellent parents should be horsewhipped. JULIA owes BRANDON an apology? He never fails to get all pouty and scoldy when Julia does anything that he doesn't approve of. Which apparently includes her enjoying herself at any time. Ron and Betty are hoping to wrap this up soon, they've got plans with a nice couple they met earlier at canasta.

I am feeling distinctly woozy.

Did she throw a Louboutin?

So wait, Jasmine assaults Rob and HE's the bad guy?

Everything is a cash grab with her.

This is assault. Jasmine needs to be ushered out by security.

Well, let's just sit here and drink in this masterclass in hosting, vouchsafed to us by Shawn. All the awkward silences, stuttered questions, one word, bitten off answers. I am in awe. Is there a host anywhere on Earth as bad as she is?

Check out Ari's body language. How dare Julia make what she wants a priority? God, Brandon is such a weasel. Ari is going to do the same thing she did with Leandro, I see. Just go AWOL for ten years.

Stacey is in imminent danger of a wardrobe malfunction.

The men are looking pretty fly, but the women look like two dollar hookers.

I think she's the only one who still looks like herself.

"Oi! My dotter's a princess 'oo deserves better than a fooking pillock loik Rob, innit?"

All the women try to outdo each other in attempting to wear the most unflattering, ill fitting, tacky, garish cheap looking thing they can find on the final sale rack at Forever 21.