Pepper Mostly

Classic strip club recipe?

"And get out.....later. After I get my Katie Couric tattoo covered up"

I do miss the prison cooking and makeup tutorials.

Well, its no "is you ovulatin'?', but still, pretty swoon worthy.

And her mother? Is FIT.

Right? Buried the lede there. Has she not heard of a bank?

They're very sturdy and easy to smuggle.

I believe that would be all of us.

"Someone's at the door" "I have a.....food in the oven" "I'm running out the door for church" "We're being evacuated, toxic fumes"

Wait, none of your old classmates have ever been sent up the river? I think someone in my graduating HS class was in jail within a year.

Genius! And when your phone rings, say "I have to take this, its my PO".

Dude. You're the one who willingly chose to start a relationship with an inmate! Whinging about the customer service with the Big House is, well, unbecoming.

I am shrieking with laughter over here, just so you know. You are ON FIRE tonight!

I do NOT want to see Richard's pom poms, OK?

Niece: How much money do you send her? (To herself): Goddammit Uncle Richard, I was counting on you for a decent inheritance. Not for you to squander your retirement fund on commissary and designer bags for your prison squeeze.

She likes to stay hydrated.

Rick is a ladies man? Yikes. The pickings must be slim in Gilbert. Arizona.

Hardly surprising, though. Maybe she's a successful rapper.

Listen to Lexi, Ayonna. She is right on the money.

She's really very pretty. Dumb. But pretty.

Sentence I am grateful I've never had to say: "I have a lot to do before I go to jail"

Great, five minutes in and I am already DEAD. Thanks @Gobi.

Oh, I'm sorry! Here, have a cocktail. Negroni? Or a sidecar? Or the dessert table is featuring creme brûlée, lemon tart, or profiteroles with a choice of salted caramel or dark chocolate sauce. We will lift you up with snark.

I don't think the locked one will be unlocked again. Just a hunch. Hola bunkies! Has everyone had a good week? Smuggled any muffins? Stayed away from the needle? Do you have any fillins?

My friend saw "Carmen" in Istanbul a few weeks ago, I was mad envious. I'm not really an opera person but I love "Carmen". My parents used to go see the Boston Symphony at Tanglewood every summer, my dad loved classical music and probably forgot more about it than most people know. I used to tend bar at a French restaurant in a ritzy apartment complex--Sarah Caldwell, who was the director of the Opera Company of Boston, lived there and used it as her personal corner store, calling down for milk and eggs! I love love love live theater and I'm going every chance I get, now that I'm retired and can squander my meager income. Can't take it with me! There are a lot of options around here, so I'm lucky. STOMP! is touring and doing one night locally, tickets are a fraction of what I'd pay in Boston. We have the option of going to shows in Providence as well, we drove down and saw Hadestown and Les Mis and Come From Away last year. Surprise, Providence is cheaper than Boston too! I'd go every week if I could. Nothing beats a live show! And I can think of nothing nicer than being your best friend! 😍