Pepper Mostly

OK peeps, make sure you have your anti nausea meds handy for next week's episode! Have a great week, see some of you on Wednesday for Fat Chat. Love you all, smooches! @judylo, hang in there, better days are coming!

He is revolting. I can't even look at his stupid face without nausea.

DEAD My money's on Mom. I bet she's no holds barred and isn't above fighting dirty.

Restaurant throwdown! The staff is cowering inside, wondering if they need to call 911. And their lunch guest is killing the cocktails! I am DYING here.

There will be praying later. Followed by more crying.

"Unified in love"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

He has all the verve and dynamism of a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Cold Cream of Wheat. With lumps. Cracks me up that Nailah keeps nattering on about how they "live a polygamous lifestyle". They TALK about living a polygamous lifestyle. Their poor kids. They must be mortified. Everyone's kids. My heart breaks for Garrick and Dannnnnnnnielle's boys.

And the linens for that megabed must cost a pretty penny. And lord knows, with all the action that bed sees, they'd have to be changed frequently.

And does no one possess even a modicum of fashion sense? All wearing outfits that are garish, tacky, poorly made and ill fitting.

"Since one of the wives will be with me, the lives of the other wives will be featureless voids, devoid of beauty or love. They will need to cling to one another in order to give each other the strength and fortitude they will need until they are once more gifted with my holy dick"

Dannnnnnnielle is crying and Natalia is blowing her hair off her forehead and thinking "Jesus, this bitch".

Garrick has cranked out his Tucker Carlson derp face. Again.

Her friends are going to be "comforting" her? Hahahahahahahahaha. They're celebrating the wedding with red solo cups. So classy. Oh, Natalia's sad because she already bought the shoes. Poor thing.

Don't worry about jealousy, Jasmine. You haven't met Nick yet. I feel like jealousy won't really be a problem.

Holy moly, that caboose!

Look at Danielle. She looks positively terrified. Rat in a trap.

That idiot just said it out loud. So much for the old excuse, that polygamy in the US among the Mormons was so that women who were left husbandless would have the protection of a husband. Even if he was somebody else's. Though of course that all kinda went south when the lord kept telling dirty old men that they should marry fifteen year old girls. The old "protecting the poor widows" story was a little harder to believe. My guess? Any celebration involving the Merrifields will contain crying.

Oops, Naaem just let it slip. "Its about income". He wants another paycheck. Yeah, Jahari is polyamorous, not a polygamist. That's different. She'd be a grease spot on that ultrasound table.

And rather than stand at Dannnnnnnnielle's side, maybe hold her hand, he stands across the room petting Natalia. He is so gross.

And Garrick is still managing to miss even the sharpest, most jagged point. How can he get his shoes tied every day? I believe its the Church of Garrick's Penis.

GARRICK! Natalia is not "depressed" or "devastated"! She is FURIOUS. And I bet she was hiding her birth control pills under the floorboards.

He paid $11,000 for 300 pairs of sunglasses? Did I hear that right? Madeleine may actually be the financial wizard of this pair. See you over at SSW!

Alex should call his bluff. "Sure, we can have a threesome! But we have to mix it up. Hey, sauce for the goose"

His loins are perpetually tickled.

You know, I once saw someone referred to, unironically, in an article as a "pie artist". And I thought, "Huh, who'd have thought it. So many weird jobs these days." And now, here's Kyle. Professional Masturbator. What a time to be alive.