voiceover

Watching “Quo Vadis?”, wherein the squad room freaks out when they get the news that Barney’s been shot. Turns out to be nothing (the bullet grazed his finger), but Liz shows up at the 12th precinct, terrified & upset, after the hospital where Barney was treated calls her about their insurance coverage (without being specific to his status…can you imagine?). Barbara Barrie was so terrific in that role. When she & Hal Linden’s Barney are having what must be their hundredth fight about his line of work, and his tone dips to patronizing, she fires right back (“I just hate it when you assume what I’m feeling!!”). I thought, not for the first time, that two of the greatest leading men of 70s comedies (Barney Miller & Hawkeye Pierce) had two of the best & most underrated actresses as their Great Loves (Barrie and Blythe Danner as Carlye Walton).

Time also improved my view on this one. I finally figured out that — duh! Jon Finch’s Richard Blaney was no one’s idea of a hero; in fact, he was kind of a…dick 🤣 But he *was draped in the Hitchcockian Tradition (dating back to Robert Donat & Ivor Novello) of the wrongly-accused. And by the time he’s dragged out of court, screaming the guilty man’s name, I’m really truly on his side. Love Alec McCowen’s Chief Inspector. Quiet, introspective, willing to question the “obvious” and to follow his instincts. I’d’ve watched that character in his own PBS Mystery! series (and I kind of have). He is the real hero here. The whole sequence with the potato truck and the body stretches to the point of unbearable tension: fear that it won’t be discovered and fear that it will be. Genius.

My dude has questionable fandoms, but when he’s right, he’s right:

Sooooo The Dbacks/Dodgers game is delayed as we await a beekeeper at Chase Field in Phoenix. There’s a massive swarm atop the home plate safety netting. One of the dangers of opening the rooftop that no one talks about. eta: The Man of the Hour has arrived! Phoenicians are buzzing tonight, baby 🤣

And let the people say: “Amen!”

Jillionth rewatch of Tootsie; as usual I laughed myself sick in all the same places. And thought again of the Oscars, and how Jessica Lange got the Miss Congeniality title of Supporting Actress that year, since no one was going to deny Meryl Streep the top prize. And though I appreciate her Julie, it should have gone to Teri Garr as Sandy. What perfection in the friend-zone role! That hilariously great meltdown before the end, where she finally comes into her own (“I don’t take this shit from friends. Only from lovers!”), is such a tremendous character arc, it should be taught in schools.

On the subject of Three Men… Doing my hundredth rewatch of it tonight, and I’m thinking — not for the first time — how dead sexy Tyler looks with that candy cane hanging out of his mouth. Not a joke. Some actors just look good, eating on camera. Think Brad Pitt in Ocean’s Eleven, who was munching away in nearly every scene. And Joan Collins in Dynasty! One day while filming an argument with Krystle, she bit the head off a scallion for emphasis. It worked so well, they had her eating something during scenes often as possible 🤣

Yes. Or, to put it a different way, here’s the speech from Billy Madison. I’d like to dedicate it to all involved: ”What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

The last time the Bills traded down, we got Patrick. I am still legit stunned they did it again. From X: ”Good for [Buffalo] for the chutzpah, but my goodness this is like France coming back to Jefferson after the Louisiana Purchase and asking, ‘Any more business you want to do?’ “

I’ll Venmo anybody here 27 cents if you can explain the fucking plot. Here’s my take: this whole series was a great argument for the patriarchy. Now: go! & watch the real thing: Rosemary’s Baby. Mia Farrow’s terrific, and Oscar-winner Ruth Gordon is a creepy hoot. And the movie’s punchline (“He has his Father’s eyes”) is..a gut-punch. Let’s do this again next year!!🤣 Christ I need a drink.

Just rewatched a little moment that I’ve always cherished…Harry reading Trey’s telegram out loud to Charlotte, Bunny, and her lawyer: ”…‘Seriously, Mother: Stop!’ “ Loving Trey’s words AND Harry’s expression there at the end 🤣

*sigh* I know my guy is disliked here, but that video isn’t a real graduation ceremony. per Jason Kelce, in his response on X to the controversy: “I know it looks like a graduation from the video, but this was actually at the end of a New Heights Live podcast that we put on to raise money for the University’s NIL…The university did this to poke fun at my brother and I for never really picking up our diplomas.”

This cannot be said often enough. I’ve never moved faster than my sprint from Anywhere to the remote, the better to mute this broad. And you can’t swing a dead cat without another of those full-body deodorants showing up during ad breaks. Why is this a thing now?? I predict these will appear in some future online video: “Ten Products from the 20s You Don’t See Anymore”. Fingers crossed.

Ugh. A stay-at-home day and I’ve been toggling between classic Friends and SATC…just rewatched one of my least favorite Carrie eps (“Sex & the Country”) where she visits Aidan’s work-in-progress in Suffern and completely loses her shit over the squirrel upsetting what is *clearly a store-bought piecrust all over her legs. It’s a toss-up between that and her allergic reax to the ugly wedding dress for Moments I Have Liked Her Least. I never really minded the affair with Big, nor the fight with Charlotte over money (I thought she had a valid point about the lack of an offer — and she did say she wouldn’t have accepted it anyway). ADR to the Aidan stans but he did seem to bring out the absolute worst in her.

“They're always having a good time down on the bayou, Lord — And Delta women think the world of me…” Bet heaven’s bar is crowded with Delta women tonight! Loved your lyrics; loved your music. Southern Rock 4VR!!! RIP, Dickey B

This 🤣 (*I’d be perpetually 33. Damn I looked good then) But the 40 thing makes as much sense as anything else in this series: as in, no sense at all.

Last night for the ‘Yotes in Phoenix. Shane Doan was there because of course he was. A fan presented him with his retirement banner (that the mf’ing organization accidentally left behind in the Glendale arena, because of course they did — I think this guy found it in a dumpster, FFS). O Captain My Captain!! Nephew de Voiceover & I watched you many times on the ice, over the years. Those games with him are among my most treasured of memories.

Carol for Another Christmas has been on TCM a few times; IIRC, usually late nights on Christmas week. Ah, The Thorn Birds soundtrack!! One of his best. That theme has brought me to tears on more than one occasion.

Well. The Sinatra/Farrow sequence was a little interesting, only because I actually know who those people are. That “Devil is beautiful” line was a shitty thing to make the Sharon Tate character say, though. So the husband had an affair with a nurse, who was stalking Anna all along? Man, I just don’t get this. And that was the big lesbian moment they teased?? 🤣 I just…can’t. I’m thinking most of the men I know wouldn’t have even looked up from the sports page for that one* *just a joke

I am so terribly fond of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. A deaf ear to Capote’s complaints about the adaptation! and the backstage ish about the co-stars (even though I own books detailing such things, from this movie and others, it’s all stuff I’d rather not know), and ughhhhh Mickey Rooney… But there’s Martin Balsam as Holly’s agent, and John McGiver as the Tiffany salesman: supporting jewels. And I delight in the chemistry between Peppard & Hepburn — playful and fierce and then sweetly romantic. I love their day in the city together, and I love those last long scenes in the taxi and the rainy alley.

Yeah I’m baffled by the ones Nick chooses to omit…”TOW Joey’s Dirty Day” is a favorite of mine — it’s Emily’s intro to the series (I loved that character before they threw her under the R&R bus). It’s been on twice in the last month though, so perhaps that means it’s back in the rotation.

This x1000

I am moved to quote those Bards of the Balcony, Statler & Waldorf: ”I’ve seen detergents that left a better film than this!!”

I just assumed they were making up for lost time — as in, the highly moronic decision to premiere the series the week before March Madness.

And there’s Nina (“the Face”) Katz (Nadia Dajani) from Sex & the City as the murder victim! The casting people must be having a great time with this series.