jenrising

Ugh, I shouldn't have watched today. Big snow coming and I don't want to spend the whole weekend projectile vomiting at Brooke/Bill and Fun!Steffy/Fun!Wyatt. The only saving grace was the horror on Quinn's face when Liam kissed her hand.

Burn it all and salt the earth.

The harder Ashley's little army tries, the less likely I am to believe them. And the more suspicious I get that they are the source of the pre-show rumors about him.

Ugh, I'm sick of this show and their personality swapping. Five minutes ago Sasha was a schemer who came to town to blackmail her dad, and was batting her eyelashes at Zzzzzende. Now she's a sweet, innocent victim of Nicole's (no doubt pregnancy induced*) jealous haterade. And Carter spends all his time now trying to get Zzzzzende laid by a woman who has nothing else going on in her life because HEAVEN FORBID his ken-doll crotch isn't her top priority at all times. *Yuck.

The best part of this episode is that without Nancy Grace, there's no one to compete with Phil for my most hated person on Dr. Phil.

Ugh. I didn't think I could despise Nancy Grace more, but she made Dr. Phil look reasonable. The horrror. I mean, there's nothing entertaining about watching these two bloviating idiots scream at each other.

It's a real shame Liam is such a bland waste of space (for many reasons), because Scott Clifton can actually bring it when he has something to do other than waffle. As a character, Liam has no room to talk, but I did enjoy that rant. They might as well have propped up an actual bratz doll across from him, though.

"Every time I go near Ivy she almost dies. That's so stressful for me!!!!!!"

Yep, that's his special rollerblading chain. Shame he didn't strangle himself with it.

A world of nope.

Caught this last night and I was kind of disappointed. Like others have said, it started out nice and creepy. But somehow ended up boring. I'm never going to complain about making VC Andrews less rapey, but there really wasn't much tension in the second half. And the ending was way too rushed.

Yeah, but that would be a story about something other than a love triangle, and we can't have that, apparently.

Ugh, it really makes me sad that pretty much all of Nicole's pregnancy is about how it doesn't allow her to cater to Zzzzzende's every whim, and how terrible that is. First it was one date canceled. HOW DARE SHE! Then she had to skip hanging out with her best friend who'd just come to town because he wanted a "romantic" night of sneaking her into his room in the dark. And now, his daylong ambition to be the greatest fashion photographer of all time is almost ruined because of one test shoot. Gross, show. Gross.

Right? WE GET IT, SHOW. Tomorrow the in-flight meal for Down Under Airlines will be "shrimp on the barbie" and the movie will be Crocodile Dundee, because random writer just googled "Australia in pop culture"

I'm still giggling from watching Liam and Ivy have an actually kind of sweet concussed convo on the plane. Anything nonromantic works so much better for Liam. Bonus points for the flight arttendant who clearly wanted to let him out the nearest exit. Wasn't enough to make up for yet another woman pretending to be attracted to Zende Ken Doll.

Well, given the choice between flying with a concussion and staying in the same city as Cousin Killer, I think Ivy's choice was probably safer. Hoping for many scenes of Ivy and Liam falling into fountains, tumbling into bushes and slipping off wet sidewalks while they try to get back to LA. Very much not hoping for inevitable Wyatt and Bratz humping. I don't like Wyatt, but he deserves better.

Oh, agreed. At the time it was such great television, but now when I watch these episodes it just makes me angry because of how awful Dylan and Kelly are for the entire future of the show.

Okay, at least it was funny. Ridiculously stupid, but funny. I'm sad that the only thing they have for Quinn to do is push Wyatt and Steffy together. The less I say about Bratz the better. No amount of fireplace pouting is going to make me feel bad for her. But she should be more careful, a single ember hits that thing on her head and she's done for. Surprisingly, I really liked the brief scene with Eric and Ivy. It was nice to see one of the grown-ups around and not talking about the stupid partner swapping.

So I have to give it to the show, they've really outdone themselves. I guess we had to put up with retread storylines and dialogue so they could pool their collective resources to come up with the least logical, most ridiculous thing possible, and for no good reason.

Y'all, I swear. If they're going to insist on keeping Bratz in the center of the action I'm gonna need someone to help her move her face muscles. I can't spend another episode trying to imagine what her vague lip pursing and different speed blinking is supposed to convey emotionally. I think there was a bit of eyebrow twitching today, which I assume is deep anguish or constipation. Also, I'm gonna need Eric to take one for the team here and just remarry Brooke. I can't with the weepy Bill smooching. Maybe if you managed to find a man who wasn't married to one of your family members it would be easier to avoid and get over them.

Yep. The most unrealistic thing about this show is no one (starting with Henry) came over to dump a few bucketloads over his stupid face while they had a chance.

Because she's SO.FUN!!!!!! But more importantly, if he and Ivy are broken up, why would Steffy want him? Taken is her only type. Why do I get the feeling someone in the writers room has an actual brain (or a sliver of brains, more like). Ivy mentioning that none of this is like her (true) and she's acting more like Steffy (kind of true. Showing some actual remorse for rubbing all over someone else's man is way outside of Steffy's playbook). Please notice no one at all disagreeing with her on that point. They just messed up having her do some of this before the shock and the fall. Could've "worked" as another Caroline falling off the balcony and waking up with a new personality moment.

Why, show? I can forgive (not really) laziness when you've got nothing interesting going on. But why keep coming up with actually fun, engaging storylines and then immediately dropping them for more trite retreads? Are they planning to kill the entire cast off and this is the way to make sure we don't care?

"Maybe I should just move back to Paris." YES. PLEASE. Take the waffle with you. Again, this is all about poor, poor Steffy. Cousins just drop like flies in front of her. Everyone better run and stroke her massive ego. Forget the girl who almost died. And then got hurt again. Whose own boyfriend isn't even in her corner because that self-righteous bratz doll barely managed to bat her false lashes at him. And again Ivy has to take the high road, do what's best for the company, but no one else ever does. There's a giant public scandal at this company every week. I'm not even a huge Ivy fan but this whole storyline is ridiculously ugly. Lt. Hot Dog is dead to me. That is not how restraining orders work. "Oh, you REALLY want to talk it out? Sure. Smell ya later."

Every word was fire. Almost good enough to make up for how terrible this show is right now. Almost.