CletusMusashi

To the tune of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas:" I want a bunch of elephants to kill with Only a bunch of elephants will do Ships bring no glee, nor does the cavalry I want a bunch of elephants to crush the enemy I want a bunch of elephants to kill with I don't care if the rebels mind, do you? I guess they need a saddle but they never need a shoe To tromp over my enemies and stomp them into poo I can see them in our final season Marching everywhere And my revenge will be so sweet When I look beneath their feet To see my traitor brothers trampled there I want a bunch of elephants to kill with Only a bunch of elephants will do No hairy wolves, no fugly dragons Those only side with Starks and slut Targaryans! With elephants my house could have friends too! Qyburn says that elephants cost a lot to feed Mountain says a horsey's not cut out to be his steed There's lots of room for them to poop on the dead sparrow's lawn And if they see a shame nun they'll just poop on her and yawn I can see them crushing wights and dragons Trumpeting with joy And they will be so great While I use this dumb pirate To legitimize my third incest boy I want a bunch of elephants to kill with Only a bunch of elephants will do Why form alliances with tact and/or intelligence? I'd rather kill everyone with elephants! And, frankly, Mountain just wants one to screw!

His rowboat collided with an iceberg, and she aged a few years before he defrosted.

Well, at least Jaime's in town, to be like "Oh, please. You call that incest?" Right after he says "Hello, Bran. I see winter's here. But I guess the last thing you wanted was another long fall. What? Too soon?"

I look at it this way: Sansa is Walter Peck, that EPA guy who wanted to ask the Ghostbusters some perfectly valid questions about radiation leakage. And Danaerys is Bill Murray, the charismatic but smug hero who prefers to just give smartass answers. Walter Peck wasn't a villain, but he's still classified as an antagonist because of his opposition to the designated protagonists, because it's a movie about ghostbusters, not about safety inspection standards for ectoplasmic containment units. And GoT, at this point, is a show about dragons and ice zombies, not bickering about how much toilet paper the Dothraki have used up.

I can't believe it took me until tonight to see the resemblance between the iron throne and the dragon faces.

I think technically the surgeon general is probably Qyburn. And he knows better than to get between Cersei and her wine.

Usually they get through it with a time-jump. In the fall everyone goes to sleep in a magical plot-chamber, and in the spring they wake up with longer hair and more precocious teenagers.

Henry was a fucking idiot, who died as soon as Zeke encouraged him to fly around outside the nest. Granted, Carol does not have a good track record with kids, but what happened with Henry is not on her.

Shouldn't Alpha be wearing a hat or gloves?

OK, I give up. Last week was delightful, but a worthy follow-up should have been Carol and Alpha throwing down and ripping each others' wigs off, "Real Housewives of the Extremely Violent Apocalypse" style. This long boring "excuse" for the protagonist's to violate their "peace" treaty is fucking bullshit.

The Jetsons May result in multiple generations believing that they are almost due for flying cars, despite the fact that most people can not even drive the normal ones properly. Family Guy May permanently impair ability to differentiate between "ironically stupid" jokes and jokes that really are honestly just stupid. Scrubs May lead to far too many years of using The Todd's "That's what she said" line whenever there is any excuse whatsoever.

I think it'll pay off. She can teach Dog to do all the tricks that Daryl never thought of. Like "Fetch soap."

Don't even get me started on what Ezekiel's bedroom talk is like...

What is it with all the grunting conversation? last night at the bar, we were wondering why you always hear about people being "disgruntled," but you never hear of anyone being "gruntled." We toyed with the idea that "gruntled" means happy, but eventually concluded that it is an adverb or a past-tense verb. To "gruntle" is to have hard, sweaty, grunting "Frankenstein and Catwoman stuck in an elevator during sweeps week" kind of sex. If you've gruntled recently, then you're gruntled. But if you haven't... well, that's why you've got all those disgruntled little incel twerps running around shooting people. I still believe Daryl to be asexual, or perhaps impotent. However, if I am wrong, and he does have sex, I'm pretty sure he' a gruntler. Connie, I'm not quite sure. I just hope she doesn't bring that notebook into bed with her. Daryl: Urrggggh! Mmmmf! Arrrooga! Mmmmmrooomf! Dog: Roomf! Connie: Scribble, scribble, scribble... Daryl: Arrrroooomfuggumba... huh? What's this say? " Oh hell yeah. Do that shit harder. Make me look like your hair." Um. Okay. Unnnnngoobagoobagoobaroomf! Dog: Roomf! Connie: Scribble, scribble, scribble...

I love "Game of Thrones" but I will never even try to read another "Ice and Fire" book. After watching the first two seasons, I had the clever idea to buy the first two books. I'd read Martin before and liked his work, so what could go wrong? Well, for one thing, he obviously doesn't believe in editing. In the first appearance, Tyrion's sitting on a table talking to Jon Snow and does a flying somersault off of it. Then Martin changes his mind and decides for the rest of the series that Tyrion is so deformed that he can hardly walk, but he never goes back and edits out the acrobatics. Or, in the early chapters, he uses the word "gambeson," (a thick linen piece of cheap medieval body armor, worn either by itself or under metal armor,) when he obviously means "surcoat," (a sort of over-the-armor uniform displaying the colors or symbols of one's army, order, or family.) That would be fine if he just kept on using the same terminology. I mean, it's an imaginary fantasy world. We're lucky they speak English at all. But toward the end of the first book, he's using the terminology correctly, which means he's learned he was wrong but doesn't fix it anyway because he doesn't really care. I could give other examples, but most of them are as pedantic as that one, so I'll move on. Every single person who is fat, tall, or ugly is the fattest, tallest, or ugliest person that the character describing them has ever seen. All fat people are over five hundred pounds, and every newly-introduced tall person is fully a head taller than anyone else in the room. So by the time you've had like six tall guys walk into a big hall, apparently you've got characters who are like eleven feet tall or something, because GRRM does not remember or care how tall he's already made everybody else. And every minor character, every time they appear, has to have the history of their noble family and sigil explained, over and over and over again. And then when you get to the end of the book you see that there's a few pages that give you all that information anyway. Why not just put that shit at the beginning so I don't have to keep hearing about where Lord Karstark's grandfather bought his first pair of socks? Every feast has to list every single item they eat, even though it seems to be the same two or three hundred items at every feast. And the tone itself is just... bad. A normal writer will say "Bob went to the market because he wanted to buy a new sword." A bad writer will say "Bob, son of Larry, son of Guido, son of of Egbert, son of Wilbur, son of Gilligan, son of Todd, son of Norman, went forth unto the great market square of Westopolis (because GRRM sucks at place-names) so that he might find a sword with which to uphold the honor of House Blahblah, whose symbol was a manatee smoking a cigar because of a long boring story that I will now spend eleven or twelve pages telling you about... When GRRM writes like a guy from the 20th century, I'm fine with him. I fucking love the "Wild Cards" series. But you know how stilted and fake a lot of actors get if you stick them into a sword and sorcery movie? That's what happened to GRRM in ASoIaF. Some writers just can't go medieval.

I didn't know either, until I looked it up today. Fucking love that it's an underknown song that is way older than a modern genre that somewhat sounds like it.

They have 'em on medications. Why not on shows? I mean, hell, TV affects my mood just as much as any chemical does. What TV shows do you think should come with warnings? And what, precisely, would those be? Here's a few starter examples: Game of Thrones This program contains angry British dialogue. Excessive viewing may result in constantly referring to other men as cunts. Riverdale The following may create overly inflated standards of adolescent attractiveness. Camila Mendez is not going to go to the prom with you, Kyle. You'd be lucky to get Ethel. Survivor Consumption of this product may create the belief that gossiping about your co-workers makes you some kind of Machiavellian genius. Rick and Morty May increase feeling that nothing that happens in this one particular universe matters. If confusion about the difference between a satire and a documentary persists, please consult a dictionary immediately.

Another Amazon Prime over-the-top vampire comedy that I started scratching the itch with as soon as I heard this series was coming is "Young Dracula." It's not quite great, but it's easy popcorn to watch a few episodes at a time of while drinking. As for WWDITS, holy crap has that theme song gotten itself stuck in my head! This morning I slept long enough to actually enter dream state, which is a rare thing in and of itself. And the experience was made weirder by the fact that a version of that tune, without any clear lyrics, started running through my unconscious brain, so when I first woke up and was still groggy I was going crazy for a few seconds trying to figure out what the hell that song was.

I think my favorite moments were the "I call it Nadja's Theme," gag and Baron Afanas' oblivious shrug to their plans of conquest being filmed by a group of random humans with no explanation whatsoever.

I'll tell you one thing: love it or hate it, I can't believe this much happened in an episode that was not a finale.

No, I meant that I liked her enough to ignore the fact that she eats them. Fortunately, the show is on after Quegueg's bedtime.

I'm glad AM gets a final "Talking Dead" sendoff. She's usually a fun, silly guest. Plus, on a shallower note, she tends to wear rather short skirts when she's on the couch. ETA: never mind. Apparently she just gets the "video of them saying 'bye!" treatment. I'd say "please give Henry even less," but, honestly, I have no animosity toward Henry's actor. The character just sucked.

I keep waiting for "Talking Dead" to bring in the Henry actor and act like he was somehow a fan favorite.

I didn't find Tara as annoying as many. In fact, I originally liked her, and my opinion of her only dropped a bit after Glenn's death. Her biggest weakness was a tendency to follow the leader. She made that mistake with Brillip, and self-corrected. Then she followed Glenn, which was fine. Then she followed Rick, and actively enabled him in the sacking of Oceanside. But her default personality was that of a pretty good person, and with Rick out of the picture, that was even more true. I also, for the most part, always liked Enid. And I say that as the owner of a pet turtle, so you know I liked her. The roller skating thing was inexcusable, and I also did not like Enid opening discourse with Oceanside by shooting Grandma. But whoever thought "Yeah, let's take some random kid who's not even used to guns, give her one, and send her as an ambassador to people who have already been raided by us," gets a lot of that blame. Just as Rick himself gets a lot of the blame for things went down there the first time. I hope both actresses go on to bigger an better things. Meanwhile, truth is, I'll miss their characters a bit.

So, how come Alphas's fake accent is noticeably better than her "normal" accent? Is her character actually trying to do that "Scarlett O'Hara explaining communication difficulties to Cool Hand Luke" thing deliberately? And if so, why? Even though I saw it coming as soon as she started skinning the red shirts, I loved every moment of her infiltrating The Faire and trolling Zeke. it wasn't quite as over-the-top as, like, when Catwoman or Penguin would put on paper-thin disguises and fool Adam West, but it was reminiscent of it. And I mean that as a good thing.