CletusMusashi

"All my sista eva wanted was to see me win Saviva! I ain't askin' no winnas to trade places wit me. I's just sayin'... yous could vote for somebody who's dead sista really needs to see him win one, or... yous could vote for dis udda piece o' crap! Whateva. I don't care.." Starts pacing around the room kicking chairs and walls... I suppose he'd probably still beat Will. Sierra could probably take him, though. ETA: I do not actually have a problem with or prejudice against his Boston pronunciation. But don't hold yourself up as the pinnacle of Not Being a Redneck, okay? If Mike were a stereotypical macho dimwit from Texas, he would be a redneck. But he isn't really. Rodney totally is a stereotypical macho dimwit from the urban northeast, though. What would be the word for that, anyway? A blueneck?

He hates Mike for doing chores? Rodney, remember how much you cried the time you had to do dishes? Vote him out for being a threat, sure. But the personal reasons are fucking ridiculous. He's a redneck? No, actually he really isn't. He speaks with a funny regional voice? You sure you wanna open that can of worms? Really? He washes the fucking dishes for you? That monster! Just admit that the real reason is that if you don't get him out, he will beat you. That's fine. It's a perfectly valid reason. So man up and quit being such a dick about it.

"I was just too good a person." Pompous moron.

My predictions, for whichever future jurors end up there. Sierra will fade right into the woodwork. Dan will put on a banana hammock, go out to the pool and float around in a big dirty tire drinking cheeseburger-flavored daiquiris, eating spaghetti, and smoking a cigar. So most people will just stop using the pool. Will might hang out with Dan, though. Rodney will be that annoying but kind of funny dumbass that every party ends up with. No one will worry much about it. Will, if given a choice, would choose to hang out with Rodney instead of Dan. But that just means fewer people would talk to Rodney. There's room to separate into cliques, They aren't all sleeping in one tent any more. Mike will pretty much act completely normal, I think. And Carolyn will get roaring drunk and try to seduce Tyler. She might wake up next to Rodney, though.

Rodney is the only one still playing who I really look forward to seeing next week. Oh, I'll be rooting for MIke, of course. But if Mike doesn't make it, then he's just another guy on jury. Rodney, whether he's a juror or a finalist, promises to be hilarious. I kind of want him to not make the finals, though, just because if he's there for that big final day breakfast feast he'll feel like he finally got a reward, and watching him bat zero per cent is just way, way funnier. I feel terrible for falling into Jeff's trap, but, yeah, part of me actually does hope they bring him back for "Survivor: Morons."

If Probst and Burnett continues ta holds demselves to a higha casting standuhd... future challenges may have to be a bit simpler. "OK, see this rock in my hand? That means the secret word is "rock." So figure out which four tiles are actual letters in the English language, and spell "rock." What's that? You think you've got it? Let's see... Triangle, See No Evil Monkey, K, and... a bug that you found on the ground next to your puzzle pieces. Yeah, close enough. Even I know you people are idiots."

I would have taken a long time to get it. But Shirin's a bigger Survivor nerd than I am.

Maybe they can make him a crown with an enormous beard that covers his entire face. Bonus points if it's a choking hazard.

Shirin would have solved that puzzle in three minutes.

Hurry up, Hali! Start making a crown for Dan! Maybe some kind of genetically spliced hybrid between a pig and a lemming?

Loved Dan's outrage when Mike won. It wasn't like "Damn it, I really wanted to beat him!" It was more like "How does that asshole keep winning?" Well, Dan, you see... Mike is not an asshole. You are only pretending he is, because he is way better at challenges than you are. Mike is evil in the same way that, say, Joe was evil. Because his superior skill set makes him an obstacle on the "Dan is the Greatest Survivor Ever" show.

Some of these people are so inept that it's actually fun to watch the challenges again.

Even before Jeff started needling him (which I wholeheartedly support,) Rodney already looked ready to cry when the reward was being described. For all his bluster and bragging, I think the guy knows by this point that, no matter what the challenge is, he's not likely to win. I mean, he never even said "Maybe I'll win." He just flat out jumped straight to "Maybe somebody who isn't worthless will give me what they earned." Go back to your mother, boy.

How does their already-grown hair turn white? Hair is dead tissue. New post-zombie hair growing in white? No problem. Deciding to cut off the old darker parts because it doesn't match? Also fine. But that old pre-zombe stuff should stay whatever color it originally was unless dyed.

Tommen only morphed into an 18 year old because the Seven Gods of HBO told him it was the only way he could have sex with Margaery. Rickon, if they ever remember he exists, will still be portrayed as a boy. I mean, look how long they tried to convince us that Arya looked like one...

This one was funny. It would have been hilarious with a little more tightening up, but as I rant after every single episode, this new slightly longer time frame is doing nobody any favors. In general it did feel like a decent pre-Yahoo episode. Could have used a little more physical slapstick to pad out some of the "sitting in an RV waiting for the plot to move" banter, though. They should have brought Chang with them.

Liv has killed a dangerous zombie before, and went through no angst about whether or not that had meant that she was now a hitman instead of a doctor. So, what the fuck happened? She accidentally found and ate some Ghandi brain right in the middle of an action scene? Stupid, stupid writing. And Major? Way to be ready for action there. "Please chase me very, very slowly, Mr. Giant Thug, sir. I need five or ten minutes to very slowly fumble a few bullets into my gun."

This line of speculation about Jon's parentage used to infuriate me, because there just didn't feel to be that much evidence on the show backing it up, so it always felt like badly disguised book-talk. However, it does these days actually match the hints put forth by the actual show that we are watching. And not only that, but it explains Ned's decisions considerably better. Wise, experienced, very Lawful and duty-conscious man choosing to sneak behind the king's back and expose his neck to the evil queen in order to protect the evil and illegitimate crown prince? That's just stupid. But if we add the factor that he has already been hiding lineages from the king, when it might lead to his nephew's death, then it's easier to see how he might want to slightly extend that same benefit to other houses as well. Plus, it adds one more piece of data to justify his great leap forward into basic Mendelian genetics. I have mixed feelings about this, because, on the one hand, I liked liking Ned. But on the other hand, I really liked making jokes about how clueless and stupid he was.

I actually would rather see Rickon back than Bran. Hodor is mildly entertaining. But Osha? Is fucking hilarious! As long as Osha is henching for him, I'll be just fine with the return of Rickon "Wait, You're Saying There Was An Even Younger Brother?" Stark.

Most people seem to care very little about who's head of the Watch. Look how few rulers even gave a damn about highly respected Watch officers trying to warn them about massive dangers coming down from the north. I really don't think some bastard being in charge of a group nobody cares about is going to be big news.

About why Sam never joined the Maesters... getting killed in the Night's Watch is free. Maester training probably requires a hefty college fund.

Until we see otherwise, to me Gendry will always be paddling around in that stupid rowboat, still drinking the same supply of water that he started out with. And honestly? That's entertaining enough that I can sort of let it rest. "Wait, this is Valyria? I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque." What bugs me more is Shagga, son of Dolph, and the other Hill People. Weren't they supposed to be waging a huge war against the Eyrie? What happened there? Did Robin just drop a bunch of coconuts on them or something?

That was three episodes ago. She still has time for a growth spurt. Look how fast Tommen grows. "Hulkcella SMASH puny Xena extras!"

I admit, I was wondering if we'd see Nymeria... once they got to the kennels. But initially, when I didn't know quite where they were going, I expected taxidermy. My thought was that Ramsey might have gone all Norman Bates on Robb and Catelyn's bodies. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I still think he might have. Guy's so creepy he should just marry Reek and be done with it already.

This is a thread to speculate about where the many, many, many characters we have not seen lately are. Did The Hound use his almost-last bit of life energy to wring the neck of a feral chicken and get his strength back? Did Ghost run off and marry Nymeria? If so, did they adopt Ser Pounce? Honestly, anybody who disappears for a week is fair game. Is Littlefinger in Dorne now, hitting on Myrcella? And speaking of Myrcella, I think the only person who gets talked about as much as her without actually being on the show is Rhaegar Targaryan. Wouldn't it be fun if when we finally do see her it turns out she's grown up to be larger than Brienne, and she just single-handedly beats the crap out of all the Sand Snakes while Jaime and Bronn stand there dumbstruck? So what do you think The Blackfish is doing these days? Is he just chilling in a vaguely nautically-themed bar with Sallador Saan? Has Varys made friends yet with Khaleesi Whore? And where, pray tell, is Tongueless Minstrel Who Wrote That Amazing "Lion and Boar" Song back in Season One?