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Everything posted by Heathen
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Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
I was just thinking that the Stews are the people duh-isms are made for. Don't use Drano on your face? DUH! Don't use the hair dryer in the shower? DUH! Take the cap off the pen to use it? DUH! Homeschooling for the win! -
Josie and Kelton: They Have Employable Skills
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Not soon enough. -
"Miracle" baby courtesy of a fertility specialist. I wish William a long and happy life, and a quick escape from the cult as soon as he's legally able.
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Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
What does the thumb-in-pocket thing mean? Fingers pointing toward their crotch? (Ew.) -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
I think the reality (haha) is that kid problems are relatable, but there is nothing relatable about unemployed lazy doofuses -- with unemployed lazy doofus husbands -- getting cosmetic treatments. The ridiculous expensive salon hair coloring isn't relatable, either. Use a box, Carlin. The Skin Edit should do a before-and-after of the Bates sisters. Wouldn't that be a riot? -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
You'd probably recognize the expression. Big, puffy lips with a tiny hole in the center of their mouth, either on purpose or because their lips are so big that they can't close their mouths completely. Exaggerated keyhole: https://theskincareedit.com/renee-zellweger-before-and-after#gid=ci02b98f3d50002712&pid=at-the-1998-new-york-city-premiere-of-one-true-thing Another way you can spot lip fillers is if the upper lip is as big as or bigger than the lower lip. That doesn't happen in nature. https://theskincareedit.com/nicola-peltz-before-and-after A third way to spot fillers is if the lips are bumpy or uneven: https://theskincareedit.com/priyanka-chopra-before-and-after -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Josie gets lip fillers, too -- same keyhole. I doubt either of them can ever pass a mirror without primping. -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
If they use the Gil Bates method of financial planning, they're not planning to pay their ER bills anyway. I would not be at all surprised if that's what they're doing. They've got a mortgage and a(n overpriced) car, so they might have decided their credit rating isn't so important now. Plus paying ER bills would cut into their fun money, ya know. -
Never underestimate the power of guilt-tripping by an abusive parent, even of an adult child.
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Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Kelton is an ass, but he's no dumbass. He knows that if he feeds the Bateses good food, they won't appreciate it, probably won't acknowledge it, and he'd just get slop when it's their turn to provide. -
Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates
Heathen replied to Meredith Quill's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Just looking at those flats makes my feet hurt. I would be hobbling by the time the bride showed up. Topic -- why don't the Bates men bother buying a suit that fits? -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
They're also not supposed to fit a toddler. -
Carlin and Evan: But Mostly Carlin!
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
By the time they're doing family lineups at the last kid's wedding, Carlin will probably show up in a tutu or with a Carmen Miranda hat. How sad that she acts like this as an adult because she never got enough attention as a kid. -
Jackson and Emerson: They're Boring; We're Snoring
Heathen replied to Salacious Kitty's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Jackson has more hair than forehead. It's absurd. And yet he still barely manages to be taller than Ofjackson. -
Jackson and Emerson: They're Boring; We're Snoring
Heathen replied to Salacious Kitty's topic in Bringing Up Bates
His hair is like a fundie version of 1980s hair bands. It's all I can look at. The skinny pants look silly at a wedding.- 143 replies
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Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates
Heathen replied to Meredith Quill's topic in Bringing Up Bates
I wonder if Kelly has feet problems -- like plantar fasciitis -- that are worsened by her size and 123 pregnancies. I am NOT criticizing her size. I'm overweight with plantar fasciitis. I wear athletic shoes because anything without support, like flats, just kills me. -
Jackson and Emerson: They're Boring; We're Snoring
Heathen replied to Salacious Kitty's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Is it just me, or is Jackson's hair just off-putting? I want to go push down on top of his head. Of course, he probably uses Jim Bob-levels of hairspray and his hair wouldn't move.- 143 replies
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Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates
Heathen replied to Meredith Quill's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Think somebody else chose and styled it for her? Josie, maybe. Kelly's hair obviously enjoyed the light touch of a professional. -
Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates
Heathen replied to Meredith Quill's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Kelly looks heavily Spanxed, but she looks nice overall. For once, she doesn't have fried, ratty hair. Gil's suit doesn't fit, but oh well. He shopped at Jim Bob's Cheap Men's Suits again. Now bring on the bridal party photos so I can snark. Hopefully Carlin laid off the fundie-Kardashian look. It doesn't flatter anyone, including a fundie or a Kardashian. -
Trace and Lydia: Can She Become a Citizen Now?
Heathen replied to Heathen's topic in Bringing Up Bates
That article is nauseating. "The family quickly planted roots and some of the children have even started families of their own with U.S. citizens." So do plenty of brown people the Bateses and Romeikes are so eager to get rid of. WTF makes German "asylum seekers" so damn special?- 560 replies
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Josie and Kelton: They Have Employable Skills
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
I thought Gil or Kelly (Gilly?) had said that he wanted to wait to start their family, but Kelly wanted to start right away and they had Zach less than a year after their wedding. I also wouldn't call it near poverty -- it was poverty and of their own making. The sad part is that the kids paid the price. I've mentioned before that I lived in the same part of South Carolina that Gilly are from. Even among the non-religious people, it was very much seen as a woman's goal or station in life to "get her diamond" and have babies. Women who wanted anything more, or wanted careers that weren't nursing or teaching little kids, were seen as abnormal and unfeminine. (I knew one girl who wanted to be a physical therapist, and people gossiped and tried to talk her out of it.) None of this prevented the wife-and-mother set from being jealous of people who had more. Kelly is very much a product of that environment. -
Josie and Kelton: They Have Employable Skills
Heathen replied to PrincessPurrsALot's topic in Bringing Up Bates
Out of curiosity, why do you think he takes life too seriously? The rest of your description of Kelton is spot on, but I don't see that part.