Heathen

Only ten kids for Tim and Franicia White (according to their About section). They must not be gawd's favorites. https://www.timandfranicia.com/about Back to Josiah and Lauren: I wonder what F and G kids will be. Frank Duggar, Fanny Duggar, maybe Franicia Duggar in honor of Heist He Way's mom. Gary Duggar, Gertrude Duggar, Gail Duggar?

Ezra is easy to spell and pronounce. When I see the act of cruelty that is "Heistheway," my mind goes He is the way? Heist he way? Heis (pronounced the German way) the way?

There are better choices for releases than balloons, which tend to end up in waterways or in wildlife's stomachs.

Nothing goes with Duggar.

I read that as delusions. Still accurate.

N might be a challenge, if the Kellers use up all the N names first. Ezra isn't bad. It's popular right now -- I know of another Ezra who's about four.

Typically arrogant of a Bates. Or any fundie. I doubt Kelly did any cooking once Michael(a) hit four or five and was considered old enough to handle meal preparation. Kelly must either have used someone else's recipes on Zach's show, or she is remembering a long-ago time when she actually acted like a parent.

I'd say both. It would take a lot of therapy -- which Josie almost certainly has not had -- to recover from the kind of shitty, poverty-stricken childhood her cult-member parents inflicted on her. But she's simultaneously a self-centered, image-obsessed fundie influencer, and she needs all the trappings that go along with it.

Really! "Seizures." And then Travis will have to stay home to drive Katie around.

Trained as a "midwife." Fixed it for you.

I'm slightly surprised they haven't started filming their toilet usage or sex life for clicks. Please don't give them any ideas.

No, it looks like home to me. That brown thing on the side is likely a nightstand or end table.

I don't want to disparage their experience, but a four-month fetus is no more a stillbirth than Jubilee was. Jill had a second-trimester miscarriage. I wish the Dillards healing and the sense to realize that Jill's body has been through enough already. They're playing Russian roulette with each pregnancy. Three kids is plenty.

Rude awakening for Katie, coming right up. She's an idiot and deserves what she gets.

The part looks so wide because her roots are showing, so yes, spray or root powder.

She needs to get her roots done, too. Her part looks an inch wide and her hair is fried. Doesn't Kelly have TWO daughters cosmetologists?

That was as predictable as Josie's smirky lip fillers in the photo. Fire up that jealousy, Carlin.

The problem wasn't with Rhett's half-ass birthday party. The problem was that his sisters got cheated, again. If John and Ofjohn can't afford a decent party for each girl, they don't need to spend money on a first birthday party for a kid who won't even remember it. The girls, at least the three older ones, WILL remember.

Not that I ever want to defend Carlin in any way, but she does come from a family where her parents admitted that Christmas was low-key or nonexistent because they couldn't afford presents until well after the holiday (and I'm guessing those presents were purchased with a tax refund). I doubt Carlin sees anything wrong with not having birthday or Christmas presents on the actual day, because that is how she was raised. Of course, there is always the distinct possibility that she's just an idiot. Or I'm right on both counts.

They didn't WANT to do better. Girls are just girls in their cult world -- they exist to do the work and raise the next kids. Rhett got an actual party that he won't remember or care about because he's special, y'all. And now to reiterate my wish that he turns out to be a horrid little shit. "Fairy tale" as a noun is two words, not one. When it's an adjective used to describe a noun, it's hyphenated ("fairy-tale ending"). Carlin needs a fill.

Stormy Daniels, fundie edition. Except Real Stormy has brains, guts, and a work ethic, which Jill has never had and will never have. Also, did Jill run out of nail polish and decide to use Wite-Out? JHC, she looks like hammered shit. Look at how she Photoshopped the left side of her face. OMG.

There's not much space left, what with all the deep thoughts they already have. Starbucks Target Chick Fil A clicks clicks what's that smell nail color party party party Starbucks.

He looks like he smells. Even on SVU, he looks like he needs a good scrub (I am not volunteering). I always pictured Susan with some clean-cut guy with a mildly boring, non-physical job. Maybe a teacher, engineer, or lawyer.

Ironically, Morris v. Tank was one of the less awful episodes from the later years, at least that I remember. At least that episode (per my recollection) didn't consist of St. Abby's high dramatics or Sam and Gates having sex in the hospital or mysteriously reappearing flight nurses. Or brat kids setting fires.

Apparently Morris was too stoned to move!