mamadrama

My best male friend was still a virgin at 27. He was good looking and worked for NASA. He was a late bloomer, though. Didn't date in high school or college. Then when he did finally get a girlfriend SHE was very religious and wanted to wait until marriage. They were engaged for 2 years and then she called it off. But...yeah. At 27 he wasn't saving himself for marriage-his virginity was hanging over his head like a rock and he just wanted out of it. It's not like he was excited about keeping that going or that he wanted to. (Yours truly took care of that for him. I'm a humanitarian at heart. 😉 )

I mean, I DID, but I waited until they were able to crawl. I'm no monster.

I don't disagree with the general idea, but the idea of saying she doesn't need someone vs someone who won't let her down doesn't feel like dissonance to me. I have never felt like I "needed" someone but have always felt like if I do have someone I need it to be someone who won't let me down. Nobody's perfect, but I'd rather be alone than with someone who's constantly disappointing me and dicking around. Been there and it sucked.

Not to mention the fact that at least several of the times that he "showed up" was probably because production was standing by and telling him his cues.

I hate it when people say they went searching abroad because "family is important in X culture." Like we just push out the babies and sit bowls of food and water down for them before going on our merry way. It's like in My 600lb Life when people say they're overweight because "In my culture, food is important." Like it's not anywhere else? We are literally the land of Golden Corral and have a holiday that's based around a turkey the size of a toddler and 150 different kinds of casseroles. I'm from Appalachia where it's not uncommon to have two kinds of meat AND two kinds of potatoes for breakfast. It's become code for "I'm not good looking, filled with personality, nor rich so I had to go to another country where it would be easier to lie to meet some impoverished nice girl and bring her home."

We had to, by federal law, investigate every report. Actual removal was a different story and much harder. There's a whole process involved. Sean died after having tens of thousands of dollars poured into his medical care. After having access to psychologists, psychotherapists, dieticians, physical therapy, weight loss surgery, personal care assistants, rehabilitation centers, and long-term hospital care. He lost 60lbs on his own when his mom was in the hospital; he knew what he had to do. Short of sticking him in a nursing home, not an assisted living facility where he would have access to his own food, and giving him zero agency over his own life I don't think anything else could have been done. Dr. Now was right in James's episode-we still don't really understand obesity and how it relates to disability, at least where law is concerned.

We don't know that Dr. Now didn't call on Renee-we just know that it didn't happen on camera. Actually, we don't even know that much. He may have and it just didn't make the editing cut.

Lol. I'm trying to imagine how we would've reacted if he'd called our office and demanded that a child be removed. My boss, who was totally ignorant of pop culture, would've been like "Who the hell are you?"

A dude that's so in love with his betrothed and still in the relatively early days of the romance does not look at her holding up a teddy and ask if there's going to be enough time for sex...

Yeah, I understand that about his stuff but that's not what I meant. People helped him sort through it and move it, but it still wasn't a "home." He was still sitting in a dark, dirty room surrounded by boxes and crates. Along with Dr. Paradise encouraging him to get dressed every day, I wish there had been some encouragement to take pride in his living situation-small studio or not. Sure it was small, but that doesn't matter. Hang stuff on the walls, make his bed every day, put out some candles, etc. It doesn't have to be a lot or expensive. Some of these things were probably difficult for Sean to do, of course, which is why I said I wished a volunteer could've helped him get started. There was no pride taken in his living space not because he was unable to do anything but, IMO, because he was so depressed he just didn't care. He spent the rest of his life in a single chair in a dark room (he rarely opened the curtains) surrounded by empty 2-liter bottles and buckets of piss. He gave up completely. It's sad.

I know I'm resurrecting an old thread here, but I just did a Sean marathon and rewatched all of his episodes again and I have thoughts... I've seen several people say that "someone" should've intervened and had him taken from his mom. I think this is a common misunderstanding of the system. I was a crisis intervention specialist for several years. It's incredibly difficult to remove a child from the home. Despite what Hollywood shows, CPS workers are not standing by and waiting to snatch kids away. Kids only get removed in extreme cases and, even then, it's a VERY low number. Sean was housed, clothed, and fed. He presumably had a bed to sleep in and his hygiene was being seen to. He was feeding himself, his mother was not sending stuff through a tube. Munchausen by Proxy is incredibly hard to prove, especially when he, himself, admitted that he ate more than he should. His injury happened when he was an older teen, too. Once he became an adult it would've become even harder to have him removed. Where would he have gone? He was not mentally incapacitated. Look at how much trouble Dr. Now had when he tried to turn in Lisa for James' sake...It's hard enough having children removed when they have broken bones and evidence of molestation. Don't get me wrong, Renee was a piece of shit and she is mostly responsible for what happened to him-and what happened was a fucking tragedy. But Sean's overeating was not a crime as far as the system is concerned. That's a huge gray area, anyway, because where would we draw the line? Next... IMO Sean should've been admitted to a psych ward at some point. He needed way more care than what the therapists we saw could provide. I like Dr. Paradise and I think he DID try, but Sean clearly had problems with impulse control and major depression. He needed round the clock mental healthcare. You can't just tell someone not to do something when they are compulsively driven to do it. He may have been on medication, but whatever was going on wasn't enough. I'm struck at how different his living conditions were Pre Renee and Post Renee. When she was alive they had a clean apartment. Pictures on the walls, candles, decorations, blankets and sheets on the beds...At the end of his life he was sitting in the middle of boxes, buckets of pee, and trash. Sad. 😞 I wish there had been some volunteers who could've come and unpacked, decorated, cleaned, etc. Dr Paradise was right about him getting dressed every day, but I wish his apartment had also looked like a home. The care assistant was a good idea, but Sean lacked basic life skills. He needed more than that. That one dollop of soap wouldn't have cleaned my left ass cheek and I weigh 105lbs. I think he honestly didn't know how to clean himself, much less cook, clean his apartment, etc. In the very beginning he said that his diet was 800 calories but that he didn't know how to translate that to "real food." That information was most likely given to Renee and, naturally, SHE wasn't going to tell him. I think he honestly thought he was sticking to his diet. She was probably giving him a plate of food and lying about how many calories it was. He knew he was "cheating" when he ate a burger, but I bet he didn't realize that he was probably cheating with EVERYTHING she gave him. WTF WAS he eating every day? $9,000 worth of food? Jesus Christ! It may have been more than impulse control with Sean...I'm starting to think that his brain was lacking whatever it needed to tell him that he was full. Honestly, if he hadn't gained 277 pounds I would've thought that he was lying about the money. My first thought was that he made "friends" online and was sending them money to "help" them out. He seemed like someone who would be naïve like that. Lastly...WTF kind of "care facility" was he seeking? Seriously? He's 29 years old and his life's goal was to basically go live in a nursing home. He hated being in the hospital and rehab facility because they were "too restrictive". So where did he want to go? There aren't a lot of options out there. I *think* he was looking for a place that would bathe him, do his laundry, clean his room, take him to doctor visits, wash his hair...and let him eat whatever he wanted. Basically Renee Part 2. On another note, WTF Dr. Now? You sent Dottie to a hotel, ALONE, after major surgery and then got upset that she wasn't keeping herself clean enough? Why was she not kept in the hospital like others have been? (The smoking part was different. That was definitely on her.)

I think the blatant trafficking of India, as well as the fact that she gave them all that evidence, is why she wasn't waiting for her turn in front of the prosecution.

The first time I traveled solo to Bosnia was just a few years after the fighting stopped. I am blonde, 4'10", and solo (at the time). I love me some cleavage and mini skirts, and Bosnian women were always up on the latest fashions-or were until the whole genocide/civil war thing. When I traveled there, though, I mostly rented rooms from Muslim families and tended to stay in guest houses in predominantly Muslim neighborhoods (like in Mostar). There was still some unsettling feelings in the air and every few steps there were warning signs about not stepping off the pavement in some places (land mines and unexploded ordinances.) There were no rules about how one should dress, but as long as I was there I covered my chest, wore trousers, and usually put on a hat. Nobody bothered me but I didn't feel comfortable going out of my way to stand out. It wasn't about my American rights or my self expression-it was about respect to those around me and my own potential safety. I was already a young girl alone in a place that hadn't picked the tourism trade back up yet-why risk it? (I've returned several times since and they WAY out dress me there, now. I can barely keep up. I love me some former Yugoslavia.)

Hell, after the wait we had last week I could do 2 hours with these fools standing on my head, no problem.

Jordan is amazing, but definitely not at the top of my list if I want to hang out and party with my girls.

I don't have any parents or boyfriend here so I don't have anyone telling me what to do! Yeah, until you wind up arrested. Or worse. Sometimes behaving and dressing in a certain way in another country is less about laws and more about feeling safe and comfortable in that country. Standing out there may not net the same kind of attention that it might here.

The attitude of "I'm an American and I do, say, or wear whatever I want in this foreign country" is exactly the kind of shit that makes you wind up in Brokedown Palace.

No, darlin, YOU are the one who's looking bad in front of your parents. You both shit talked him AND infantilized him before your parents had even unpacked.

Ari: I'm in love with a singer and dancer! Also Ari: I can't believe he wants to sing and dance!

I already like Father Ari better than Regular Ari.

He LOOKS high in his talking heads.

Something "deeper"? Like being homeless and jobless and having his life threatened? You know, regular 2020 stuff...

If Yazan wasn't having his life threatened I'd find this whole thing of Brittany going to Jordan and ghosting him kind of funny. She's no prize, but neither is he.

I'm still trying to figure out what Areola's fight was about.

Deavan does not deserve Mother Jihoon.