mamadrama

Guess who!

I think I know this woman. Ha ha, not really but I know someone like her. That's kind of fascinating, though. There are some people who really commit to their lies.

When you're into retro fashion, the idea is to look like you stepped out of the 1950s-not to look as though you are in your 50s... She really does look so much older than her age and NOT in a "Wow, she's only 14? She's built like a college student" kind of way. Cate used to be a cute girl. Now she is frumpy and dumpy.

I had to take some time off to devote to the true crime forum I help moderate. I can only do TM and the rest of the foolishness if I give myself a break now and then. To be honest, I actually don't have a huge problem with Bristol. (Her mother, on the other hand...) I even rooted for her a few times on Dancing with the Stars. And if they wanted to make a reality show again about her kooky family, I'd be all in. I just have trouble seeing how it related to TM.

I know others have said this but I have to throw my hat into the ring, too. She is neither a teen mom or an OG. There, now my complaint has been registered.

I don't have a way to upload any current pictures at the moment, but Stubby is doing well. She goes in to be spayed next week. She's become kind of cock of the walk around the house. She's a real diva. She also loves Coke boxes (the 18 packs). We cut off the top when she got too big and her head was touching it. Now she uses it as a bed. If one of the other cats tries to lay in it, she runs them off. We took in another little rescue kitten who was so tiny and malnourished that we called her "Bones." At first, Stubby would hiss at her and wouldn't have anything to do with her. She was very jealous. Now, though, she's warming up to her. I occasionally find them sharing the box.

I can't believe I am saying this, but Tyler appears...excited? Ugh. Eta: oops. Y'all already covered this!

And occasionally coax the camera to zero in on his backside. Yeah, I'd probably dig it.

I think Tyra is starting to look like a second-rate drag queen-no offense to the spectacular ones who rock it.

I hate it when people say that. Or they call being gay a "lifestyle choice." When the people in my life start showing signs of homophobia, I make sure that I start referring to their opposite sex partners in the same way.

Thanks guys! He's pretty quiet but sometimes he breaks out with something. I guess I can't really say that we lasted or "made it" until one of us dies, but I'm kind of proud that we've come this far. He's a good husband and a good friend.

I went to Harrisburg once and even I was like, eh, it's not a small place... Whenever they want to film my state they always shoot in Romania and dress everyone like turn of the century (as in the 20th century, not the 21st).

I feel like a lot of my "small talk" posts have been so negative in the past year. Ugh. Well, this is my 13th wedding anniversary with my husband. He is notoriously social media shy (except for Twitter, where he runs a fantasy football thing, and has actual "fans" which is kind of weird) but today he took to FB and he made this very nice post about me. He doesn't talk much, I am the loud one, so it was rare for him to do something like this. Since it's ultimately positive, I wanted to share. *** I'm not great at social media or expressing feelings, so this should go well. I'm also late to the window here so…I'm off to a good start. This is (MamaDrama) and my wedding anniversary weekend…and she's too short. Sorry, but it had to be said. Or I'm way too tall? Either way, if we’re both standing up it’s hard to get both of our faces in a picture. I'm also way too boring. We've never really had any money. Support has been hard to find, outside of her mom. I think I’ve made a 100 bad decisions. Sometimes we didn't even know "that show" existed, let alone have an opinion about that thing that one character did. But we spend all our time together. You can count the number of nights our kids have spent away from both of us on an abacus (I’m assuming no one knows how to count on an abacus?) I’ll take that over easy. Over how we may look to some and knowing for sure what's going to happen next. When I daydream, it’s of a girl on a beach at sunset. There are little people we helped make somewhere, safe and happy and tired from playing all day. When I get to her she smiles and then tells me we probably can’t afford to eat out tonight. Because my dreams aren’t really that great if we’re being honest. Things mostly don’t work out how I want them to. But I have this memory of us on a beach. The sunset is beautiful. The girl is happy and that filled me in a way I can’t describe, all the way to the brim. And while life might not be that great all the time, I think we have always been great together. Better than I could ever be alone. I don’t remember deciding to marry the person who showed up in my dorm, drenched in rain, angry and temporarily homeless. I remember it being hard to build up the courage to talk and being nervous to see her again. But marrying her? I only remember worrying about when. She’s my favorite. And my friend. I love my wife, the family she has given me. I love the life we’ve planned and the one we’ve gone ahead and lived instead. Even the worst parts had her in them, and that's been everything. It’s the only thing I know I got right for sure. And then he shared this really blurry photo of me and our daughter on the beach. We were pretending to be birds. We've had a really hard go of it: parental loss, job loss, child loss, transatlantic moves, identity theft, house flooding, animal burying, child sickness...but I've sure been glad that he was along for the ride.

The good thing about "America" is that it is a HUGE country, both land mass and population wise. There are 50 different states and within each state there are dozens of counties (122 in mine), and within each county there are lots of towns, and within each town you'll find many different neighborhoods, each with its own feel and subculture. It's impossible to make such generalities when there are so many differences. And yes, while some places are not so diverse, others are. A reality tv show that is probably rigged to some extent thankfully doesn't represent every town in every county in every state in every region in the country. After the first 10 minutes Mr Mamadrama, who'd never watched an episode, thought this was a mokumentary of a competition reality show. He refused to believe that the first dance and the judges were real.

I've gone through all of season 1 thinking that Jacqueline was Sela Ward. Oops.

I find Show Adam more tolerable than Real Adam, same with Murray. Show Murray yells a lot but the actor brings in quite a bit of loveable oafishness to the role. Real Murray sometimes comes across as just hateful. Show Adam is nerdy but also pretty self-aware. I don't know how to describe Real Adam using anything that wouldn't be offensive. He seems really high strung and young for his age.

It soothed him when I showed him a picture of those two together.

My husband, who never watches TV with me, is loving the shit out of this show. He laughs and laughs. Tonight he found out that Nick and Amy are not married and it really depressed him.

Thanks guys. Sometimes I feel like talking about it really helps. I've spoken a lot about his life and the aftermath (like, the months and years after) but except for a chapter in the child loss book that I wrote, I've never really talked about his actual death: finding him, calling the ambulance, waiting for our coroner to come down off the mountain where he was hunting, praying with random people in the hospital, planning his funeral, etc. It DOES help. When they got him to the hospital, he'd clearly been dead for several hours by then. It took the coroner 4 hours to make it to the hospital and during that time they allowed us to be in the room with him. After about the second hour, his body started going through lividity. I won't describe it but, suffice to say, it was awful. However, as bad as he looked, I knew that one day I'd look back on that day and my mind would play tricks on me and make it even worse. I had grabbed my bag as I ran after the ambulance and my camera was in my bag. I took a picture of his body. I know it sounds weird, but I wanted to remember EXACTLY what he looked like. That way, in the years to come, if I found myself envisioning him and letting my imagination run wild, I could take it out and remind myself of the facts. And it does happen, sure enough. I'll start envisioning his body as horrible, but then I'll look at the picture and be like, "Okay, it WAS bad, but not that bad. And he was still beautiful." That's one of the reasons I made the video. There were some really terrible parts of that week (they were short on paramedics so I could to go with them and help-they intubated him in the ambulance but I was so upset that I couldn't hold the tube straight and it kept falling to the floor) but there were also some wonderful parts (like the random woman in the waiting room who just came up and wrapped her arms around me) and even some funny parts (like how, when I got home, my friends wanted to cook me dinner and I cried because we didn't have a potato peeler). The more I talk about the reality of the situation, the easier it becomes to process.

Hey guys. Haven't been on here much this summer. Just kind of having a hard time in general. Today (well, yesterday) was the 8th anniversary of my son's death. Some years are easier than others. This one was extra hard. I don't know why. Here's a picture of him with my mom. (No, he didn't sleep in the bed with us. She would watch him for me in the mornings while I got me and my other child dressed. This was part of their morning snuggles.) I can't believe how much I still miss him 8 years later. I created a YT video of me talking about the day he died and the days leading up to his funeral. I talk about finding his body, yelling at the organ donor people, choosing songs for his service, how my BFF got me through the burial as I heard the clods of dirt hitting his casket, the long ride home, etc. It's the first time I have publicly spoken about his death and everything that happened. I am hoping that it might help someone else out there who has lost a child (or help someone who hasn't lost a child understand what we go through in those initial days). If you're interested, I will shoot you the link. Don't really want to post it publicly. Anyway, can't sleep. Thought I'd pop over.

Gotta admit, I like a little raunchiness. I don't really have a problem with people posting things like this on sm, even if they DO have kids. To each their own. HOWEVER... This does not make J look sexy. In fact, I think it actually makes her look unclean. It's not so much that her labia is in danger of peeking over the sides as it is that, in this pic anyway, I get the feeling that said labia isn't clean. She looks dirty in a smelly kind of way, not dirrrty in a Christina kind of way. It isn't hot.

Keeping up with the show here and other places...people are going to lose their shit when they learn the significance of the ivory floors and dollhouse floors. I am fairly desensitized to things these days and my stomach turned.

Asat least one of the forum's resident rednecks, I have to say that I have always been attracted to the boot wearing, country music listening, scruffy faced, callused hands, truck driving, southern talking, mama loving, 4 wheeling, blue collar man. (The fact that I married a blonde, clean faced, British college professor was out of left field for me.) Even without knowing the crap that we know about David, I would not touch him with a 10-foot pole. There is something creepy, unhygenic, and just a little deformed looking about him. (With no offense to the smelly and weird looking people that I actually like.)

Trivia: every book in my most popular series is based on a true crime. The most recent release was loosely based on Ireland's Vanishing Triangle. On topic: Jenelle lying on camera and chasing him with a gun still pisses me off. She will continue to do this shit until she's had an actual repercussion. Any one of the fucked-up things she has done would send me to jail. She's like a damn cat with 9 lives.

She really does. I can't believe this is the same kitten that we didn't think would make it through the night. Have you all watched SHALLOW HAL? You know at the end when Jason Alexander admits that he has a "tail" (his spine or something extends past his butt) and he makes it "wiggle"? That's exactly what Stubbs does with her little stub. When she gets super excited it will twitch back and forth. There's only about 1/4 of an inch there, but it's super cute.