candall

For some reason, I have completely tuned out everything having to do with this couple. I just use their segments to go for a refill and other self-care.

"Ex-con" = not a protected class. 👺

Closed caption: "Finna call her."

Did you really buy a car? Congratulations! That's big dill!

It wasn't the sisters. It was another, uh, female. Monique's competition!

Gabby's legal rep, Mr. Figgins, seems to be conducting their initial consultation in the supply closet, surrounded by Hammersmith paper boxes, three law books and, what are those? Bananas? I would watch a spin-off of the legal talent they dredge up for this show.

Boooooooiiinnnnnnggg. How did I miss this t-shirt with the handcrafted slit down the front?? That's not even cleavage--it's side boob. (In)side boob! Woogah.

I hope, as the season goes along, he'll have on a token Democrat or two.

Girl. He's not doing so badly. I myself want to smack your insolent two-dimensional face.

You speak for us all.

Montel Figgins, Esq.

Well, at least she didn't pair the pierced nipple t-shirt with those ridiculously ripped up jeans. Cuz that would have been sketch. And Cam, standing there in a whole store full of muted grey and navy suits in his bright raspberry velveteen jacket--is there a beret that comes with?

Leaving for himself a hefty . . . ZERO. I can't get that out of my head. WHAT was he thinking?? Gabby's regular old stretched out vagina would have pleased Chris just fine and she would have been happy with, say, $25k falling into her lap from Chris's beatdown. It's the Gift of the Magi 2.0.

Ack! There's a joke somewhere in there about dying peacefully in your sleep, not like the rest of your passengers. Mmmmm. Never mind.

I'm having a smoke.

THERE it is! I've been waiting three weeks for this reveal!

Did Gabby and Chris have a sleepover and do each other's hair?

No worries, that dog lives here with me now. #### Hey, boulder holder has a new attitude that says "Sassy!"

She lives out back now.

The Momnt.

I'm concerned about copyright issues. Is Cameron frittering away the rights to his music?

Oh NO. My pre-LAL disco nap got me again! Do you think I'll be able to catch up with the storylines?? Looks like Chris did something to upset Gabby. . . . well, that's new.

This is by far my favorite of the new shows. (You want some people who brush off all their character flaws and plot holes, try Alert.) I love the main character. Having him constantly speaking into his little tape recorder is a good way to convey the thought-process of a natural introvert. But I think his accent is silly--it's like he remembers he's supposed to have one and drawls out the next vowel he comes across. My favorite part was last week when the three foster system survivor kids stood together--each of them kind of messed up, but feeling supported by people who knew them back in the bad old days. ETA: MORE BETTY!

Scott Caan looks so much like his father, I was not expecting him to have much sensitivity or finesse. Hey, self-fulfilling prophecy! Huge ridiculous handwave that six-years missing "Keith" just gets the blood wiped off his lacerated face (Hello?) and immediately gets waltzed off for pancakes and warm fuzzies. "Um, 'Keith,' did you notice any other frightened kidnapped children hanging around the place where you were kept for six years? And where was that, by the way? Oh, never mind. Eat your pancakes and catch some zz's while we re-bond over your old photo album." No one ever listens to the dog.

Monique has the world's shortest fuse--I wouldn't want her behind the wheel in a high-speed chase situation. Good cliffhanger! Can't wait.