Crazy Bird Lady

Unfiltered begins (ta, ta, taaam!) Jamie O, Dave, and Tristan all unanimous in making fun of Bobby for taking Danielle on a "back to nature" fishing trip. Ha, ha, ha, who in their right mind would want to do that?!

Typical Tristan. And of course, Mia hanging her head silently as he totally "gaslights" her and lies about what she said, and denies everything she told the other women. Oh hell yes, Tristan is a liar too!

Amber to Dave on "Mini-Moon": What do you think you need from me, right now? Dave: "What I need is time..." Amber: "Yeah, but it's hard not to think, that time is running out." I think that's the very beginning of their big blow-out "fight".

For sure. But I also understand how intense a woman's desire for a man and children in her life can be, like the poster below. Scruffy seems to think Dave is OK, just having trouble dealing with Amber's needs --which is probably the most common point of view, if you avoid "playing the blame game". Except, she actually seems to think Dave and Amber could work it out and 'make a go of it' together --which I completely disagree with. They're toxic for each other.

The weird thing is, I don't think we're really "Team Dave" and "Team Amber". There does seem to be a "Team Dave," a group of people who think Dave is just fine the way he is. But the other side is more like "Team That Wants Something Better for Amber". ...I mean, I could be wrong, but I think almost everyone gets that (at times) Amber can quickly assume the worst about others, which is stressful for those around her. That "something better" might be re-marriage and/or children. Or it might not. It might simply be some type of real therapy to help Amber finally realize and accept her own strengths while forgiving her weaknesses. It also might be deciding to stay single and independent because that's what she truly wants. One way or another, Amber needs to fill her personal life with people she can rely on, people able to appreciate and embrace the good in her without provoking her weaknesses/ insecurity.

Rofl! Good one, about the diamonds. I also wish Amber could find happiness and the family she wants with a kind, loving, considerate, supportive man. (Unfortunately, she'd have to be rid of Dave first...)

I agree! Dave is absolutely the "poster child" for that guy who's "single for a reason"! And I know at least a dozen women 30+ who say 'Good men are hard to find' after 35!!

If that happens, so will I!! ...But I've read that all MAFS participants are encouraged to wait until after Decision Day airs before actually filing for divorce. (I don't know whether the show only pays for the divorce if they wait, or if that's not the case...) I don't think so. But, we'll see. I agree. Apparently the filming for the follow-up show is a month later this time, not just a week. And, while Dave might "put up with" Amber for an extra week if it meant extra money for him (and extra face-time on TV), a whole month would definitely be stretching Dave's (very limited) patience. Besides, that glow from the "sex every night and sometimes in the morning" is probably growing dim.

Why, oh why are they inflicting Three Tristan Unfiltereds on us in a row?! I don't like Mia --but what I really don't like is the fact that she's not being given a chance to respond to all of Tristan's blah blah blah excuses (and, I think, some lies)!

Yeah No answered this better than I could have. I don't think I agree with the "do a 180" part -but I do agree that Bobby seems like the kind of guy who's never been in a really serious relationship before, and has never had his heart (or his ability to trust) broken. As to "If Amber has a few "battle scars" on her... I'm not going to assume this was her [Amber's] fault: I couldn't possibly agree with you more! But, concerning Amber's past history with "broken hearts" (and possibly childhood experiences that could have 'educated' her on those 'issues' much earlier): none of that is on camera. Amber has never given any specific info about her own past, so that can only be conjecture. I definitely do share your conjecture! I don't know. It would be an assumption for me to say, "It had to have either come from Dave, himself, or one of the so-called "experts". Or, Amber may not have had any previous knowledge about Dave's preference for "tall brunettes" (a preference which was later confirmed by one of the "experts"). In any case, Amber herself brought up the topic not long after the wedding... when she asked Dave who his "celebrity crush" had been. As I recall, Dave (indirectly) expressed that preference on air very early in this year's MAFS season. Amber asked Dave who he had "put down" as his "celebrity crush" --and it was Jessica Biel (who is of course famous as a tall brunette with beautiful hair). That's pure conjecture --but I agree.

It was Dave, himself. Amber had already heard something from others about wives being "rated," so Amber asked Dave, directly (and on camera), how he hated rated her. Amber was very upset, especially when she found out Mia had been rated higher than she was.

True, Ilovepie, that she clearly showed frustration at that moment, and she even stopped chopping for a bit until someone helped her out. Actually, Dave's reaction to Salsa dancing was much more robust! Still not what what I'd call "throwing a fit" or "having a tantrum". Maybe my kids just had more enthusiastic tantrums, but they would do anything from screaming at the top of their lungs to (literally) throwing themselves down on the floor and kicking, if they got really frustrated.

According to Dave. But Dave isn't impartial... We saw Dave give Amber flowers for that "Romantic Carriage Ride". That's the only time I can recall. And as for chocolate... I'm pretty sure the show pays for their food, drinks, and treats on Honeymoons and "Mini-moons".

Perhaps. To my knowledge, the "big deal" is that couples who stay married are deemed "successful," and those who choose divorce are not. At least one poster here has speculated that Amber's angst is about the humiliation of being a 'failure' on national TV at Decision Day, if she's forced to choose before Dave does and he gives a different answer than hers. But --although there are many rumors and (unsubstantiated) reports about other incentives-- the biggest financial incentive for couples deemed "successful" on D-Day is surely the possibility of being cast in MAFS 'reality show' spin-offs like "Happily Ever After".

This. Very well said, Lenniebruscoe. Although I believe Amber has deep emotional problems that complicate their whole relationship, that's nothing that I can demonstrate or prove. Giving credence only to what we see, it's very clear that Amber, on that "mini-moon," was attempting to actually get some answers from Dave that he has consistently refused to give.

I do agree with you that Amber, while she doesn't "throw fits" like a toddler, is unable to "use her words" to explain why she's upset and "find a solution". Amber is full of so many tangled emotions that all she can do is clench her jaw and say things like, "That's why I never wanted to get married" --and other similarly cryptic remarks that erupt from that deep, turbulent emotional well. Dave, on the other hand, is remarkably adept at "using his words". On that, we also seem to agree. Dave can out-argue Amber any day, any time --and even (sometimes) make her believe that he's 100% right and she's the only person who causes any problems in their relationship. (Of course, that only adds feelings of terrible guilt to all the other emotions Amber can't handle.) I wonder if Dave was on the debate team in high school... Yes, we do. But Amber's personality annoys me, too --just not for quite the same reasons. I agree!

Just wondering-- I know Dave said once, that he was 'always' the first one to say "I love you" --but do you think he would repeat himself, if he didn't get an "I love you" back? Totally agree that Dave doesn't care if Amber 'dumps' him. I still think he will divorce her, although some very persuasive arguments have been posted as to why he might not declare that on Decision Day (but, instead, wait for the "reunion episode" which takes place shortly afterward). I can imagine Dave milking this "TV gig" for all he can get out of it, before he 'dumps' Amber. I totally agree. Even if she "threw" clothes around while looking for socks, that's hardly the same thing at Tristan throwing that candle at Mia as he was closing the door of 'their' apartment in her face! I really don't get why people are upset about the socks, but they ignore the candle.

I've never seen Amber 'act out' in any way that looked like a toddler throwing a fit.

...And during any of those, did you see Amber yell at Dave, even once? Amber does sulk, when she has one of her "meltdowns" --but not as long as Dave does!! Amber goes through a few minutes of jaw-clenching meltdown, and Dave (by his own admission) will sulk for hours afterward! The 'socks' incident was not on camera, and we only have Dave's word for it that she threw things (and that was clothes, as I recall --probably while she was hunting for socks). On camera, I've never seen Amber throw anything --unless you count throwing shots of tequila down her throat!

Still hoping everyone here is safe, and no-one has been injured or lost their home due to Hurricane Michael.

Absolutely. I think almost all of us would want to see that. Unfortunately, I think it took quite a lot of alcohol for Amber to even tell Dave he was being a dick. Amber is afraid, very afraid. ...Of Dave. ...Of his cold, hard criticisms, his judgements, and his ultimate complete rejection of her. Amber knows it's coming, how could she not?! --But still she convinces herself that Dave's coldly 'logical' argument ("proving" that it's all 100% Amber's fault) is correct. In Amber's mind, their inevitable divorce really might be all her fault, caused by her "unreasonable insecurities." And the things she's insecure about may really be all in her imagination. Amber doesn't want that to be true; she's afraid that it is. That's why a sober Amber will never, ever "stand up for herself" without a bunch of professional help. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Amber acts like a battered woman -or at least, like a woman who has learned from her past that it's not safe to "stand up for herself". Frustrating, isn't it?

If what you're referring to is what Mia's been claiming on Facebook, I agree. But if you were referring to her marital arguments with Tristan (as shown on MAFS), I think it's a toss-up. IF what Tristan says is 100% true, you're absolutely right. Mia, of course, has a history of telling lies. But I bet Tristan very carefully omitted the information about his DUI/resisting arrest history when he applied for the show, so... I (unfortunately) did watch Tristan on Unfiltered. I heard his explanations/excuses. But (unlike some others), I still don't know which one of them to believe. I still remember seeing Tristan live on camera all enraged and intimidating (and generally quite horrible) toward Mia. I think both of them are lying for their own reasons. Neither of them is "innocent".

If only!! Oh, and (most importantly): Amber, don't do a MIa and come crawling back to him the next morning. Let The Dick get himself one of those anatomical dolls if he wants to continue having "sex every night, and sometimes in the morning"!

You said that so well! It's what I think, too. I was damn well proud of Amber when she actually called Dave a dick because he was being one!! Amber spent probably half the afternoon trying to get Dave to at least answer her question of whether he would want to be there, at that resort, with her [if it wasn't a contrived activity mandated by MAFS]. He never really answered her --except by saying something huffy like, "Well I certainly don't want to be here with you when you keep asking me questions like this!!" (And it's true -- the definition of stupidity is doing the exact same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Amber hasn't learned that, she probably never will.) I do get it that Amber has caught herself in a trap where she's in love with a husband who's always got time for her in bed, but never has time to listen. I'm really pissed at her, though. After all of that, how could she turn around and make nice with Dave just in time to "go to bed a little early"... Amber, you idiot. You crumpled like a napkin and gave in!! The truth is, all the spouses are sounding each other out, trying to figure out what the other one may say on Decision day. Each in their own ways. It's why Tristan and Mia are playing the "I didn't put you out, you left me" game, then they got back together and all curled up in that sad bed. Then they fought in the car about whether or not they would choose to stay together at Decision Day, and Tristan pretty much told Mia he can't handle all her drama. So then she leaves in the middle of the night, saying she wants a divorce --but then comes right back in the morning spinning her tale that she didn't really want to leave, she just wanted Tristan to beg her to stay so she'd know he really loved her. Even Danielle and Bobby had their own version of that one. Again during the mini-moon, Bobby poured out his heart and his love to Danielle, telling how very important she is to him (and, yes, hoping she'll at least answer him back with something like "you're the most thoughtful, kind, and special man I've ever been with, and I love the times we spend together. (Compromise is a good thing.) I get it that Danielle isn't comfortable saying "I love you" to Bobby at this point, and she shouldn't. What she should do is tell Bobby what he means to her, and why it makes her happy being married to him -Instead of responding with bored and super self-centered quips like, "I love how you make me coffee in the morning." (I guess I'm a little mad at Danielle, too.)

I agree with that. Um... As far as #3 is concerned, I think it might depend on what you mean by "like" Amber. Amber is stressful and can be annoying, for sure. I imagine that Amber's best (girl) friends probably get long phone calls from her on a regular basis, in which discussion topics are: Amber, her life, her feelings, and her concerns. I also imagine it is difficult to get off the phone with her. But I don't think she's a bad person, per se. I consider myself in group #2, except I'm not unsympathetic to Amber's emotional/"relationship" problems. I think she's trained herself not to let her face reveal emotions -and that's not a good thing. It means she's determined not to let others see what she's feeling (the same skill that expert poker players have --or children of alcoholic/abusive families). It doesn't benefit Amber when the show's "experts" intervene to "help" her. Amber needs a year or so with a talented psych counselor, one whose focus is on helping Amber (not on making more drama to increase ratings for the show). Am I that one oddball who "likes" Amber?