Crazy Bird Lady

This year's couples don't really seem to have much communication --except for disagreements, arguments, and sex.

There is certainly nothing wrong with private discussion between two partners/spouses about things that bother them about each other. (Of course, there is nothing 'private' about discussing these issues in front of cameras, knowing it can be aired on national TV. That's an inherent flaw in the MAFS format, and almost certainly one of the reasons so many of their couples are spectacularly unsuccessful.) Anyone who is at all insecure or shy about being confronted or criticized publicly should be immediately rejected as a candidate for the show. Agreed. He could have been, but I think that was Dave's panic and/or embarrassment talking. Amber had just told him that she trusted him, and he was the only man she had ever really trusted. It seems like that should have been a tender moment between them, if Dave cared about her and trusted her, too. If Dave were seriously trying to be helpful by gaining an understanding of Amber's past relationships & why they failed --wouldn't he have asked those questions more like the way you did? Amber has admitted to being very insecure, and has said that she often feels 'judged' --which makes the insecurity worse. Knowing that to be the case: if Dave were really trying to be helpful, wouldn't he be extra careful how (and when) he 'mentioned' his questions about her failed relationships? Dave could have brought that up in private. I think they reached the point where their relationship wouldn't "go anywhere positive" a couple of weeks ago. With his questions about Amber's 'exes: Dave may have focused on the "gym bro" who had dated Amber, concerned how many other people in his social group may have heard whatever the man said about her. Remember, he told Amber he would never have married her if he'd known she had dated that guy at the gym. I think it's legitimate to consider the possibility Dave was deliberately throwing those past failures in Amber's face as justification for why he doesn't consider her a suitable wife. Obviously, there are things she doesn't like about Dave. She mentions things sometimes on the 'diary cam'. But I think she's afraid to criticize him to his face. Often, Amber stays silent when she's hurt by something Dave says. But then her hurt and anger and frustration build up, and she blurts out something to try to hurt him -usually something she doesn't really mean. That's not a good way to handle disagreements, obviously, but it happens when a person keeps their feelings bottled up. You are right that this couple is so mismatched! It's gotten to the point that it's stressful to even watch them together.

I still think she was joking. I've heard quite a few moms (who adore their kids!) make similar remarks. Considering her age, I'm sure Amber has, too... Yes! Exactly that! Why is Amber the only one deemed 'unsuitable for parenthood' when Dave seems very easily annoyed, highly critical of even very small things (sometimes), and would rather spend time hanging out with his "bros" than with his family?! That's the obvious solution. They'd need child care, in any case, since they both work. No way. Dave has just been "putting in his time" until Decision Day since (at least) the 2nd week into this.

I think you're both right about that. It did seem to be a 'turning point', and Dave pretty much said so. That said, I married an ex- of my high school best friend. They hadn't been engaged, or anything like that, and my friend was already married to someone else and had her first child with him. Maybe the 'bro rules' are different for exes?

True. Dave might actually have a conscience. Who knew?

Unfortunately, I'm concerned that after this is over she might just dive off a cliff (probably in her car).

Yes, Dave was a total jerk for reacting that way. Trust is the most important gift you can give your spouse, and there are many, many people who may fall in love over and over, but never take the risk of actually trusting the person they're with. That was a huge step for Amber, the most precious gift she could have offered Dave --and he tossed it aside contemptuously!! Dave has already decided that Amber isn't 'good enough' for him. And this time, it will be her husband who gave her that message! She's way too emotionally damaged to be able to bounce back from that, and I'm thinking this will be the last time Amber dares to trust a man. Amber wasn't ready for marriage when she was 'chosen' for this 'experiment'. She especially wasn't ready for marriage with a judgemental man like Dave.

O...M...G!! Amber just stood up for herself with Dave and she wasn't freaking out!

Diarrhea. Has that puppy even been to a vet?

I agree with this, Humbleopinion. I also admire the clever way you expressed (but avoided saying explicitly) that Amber may be expressing her unhappiness, anger, and feelings of inadequacy by passive-aggressively leaving all the household chores for him to do, knowing that he'll do them because it's super-important to him to have everything neat and clean.

I hope you're completely right about that. That's how the situation is being presented to us, the viewers. However (and please correct me if I'm wrong about this) I don't believe Dave and Amber have ever discussed the length of her commute on camera. Both Amber and Danielle ended up living at their MAFS hubby's place --and to me it seems logical that both women probably have longer commutes than their new husbands do, at this point. If Amber also has an hour-plus commute to work from her newlywed place of residence --but Dave doesn't feel the way Bobby does, about helping out since he has a shorter commute--that might help to explain why Amber didn't get the laundry done.

I don't like the "appearance of impropriety" part. There are still many professions (including schoolteacher!) where it will get you fired. On the other hand, what a patient says to their psychologist/psychiatrist/priest is supposed to be private, never made public, and never repeated to others. And this show is broadcast on TV!

I'm sure that's why there hasn't been much "flaming" since this episode aired. It really couldn't be more obvious that Dave and Amber are over, and just going through the motions for the cameras and the contract. I don't think Dave likes Amber at all --and I think she already realizes that, even if she hasn't admitted it and so she's passively back-floating down an Egyptial river (denial). Tristan and Mia were doomed from the start. The only difference now is that I like Tristan a lot less than I used to. Everyone is on board with Danielle and Bobby, but their wedded bliss is boring (which is why they're seldom "featured" on episodes these days).

Their so-called "viewer" questions are so boring and useless, whoever made them up can't be very smart.

I'm glad you knew that little trick with the burgers. Works like a charm! As for where you lived... Ah, the glories of Big City Life! I grew up in a small town, so that explains the difference in relative prices of produce. I, on the other hand, was desperately jealous of people who lived in big cities and could therefore eat at 'glamorous' food chains like McDonalds, Jack-in-the-Box, and Pizza Hut! We almost never went out to eat, anyway, but on the rare special occasion when we did, it was somewhere local. (There were no fast food restaurant franchises in town.)

You can cook 'from scratch' in a single pan (like "turkey mess") quite easily. Last night I put a little olive oil in a frying pan, tossed in some seasonings, shook the pan to even it all up and then added a slice of chicken breast for each of us. After that had browned, I flipped the chicken over and tossed in some chopped mushrooms, a chopped yellow squash, a couple chopped scallions, and a light sprinkling of freshly-chopped herbs (cilantro, thyme, parsley). I added a lid. After that sauteed...another 15 min. or so, I flipped the chicken again to lightly char the veggies ...and done! Takes about half an hour, total, and the flipping can be done on commercial breaks if you're watching the evening news.

I understand. I was just saying that 'convenience' foods weren't cheaper back in the 1950's-60's when my parents were trying to meet their budget. Fresh fruits and veggies in season bought from local grocery stores were definitely cheaper for my parents back then, than buying frozen. (That's certainly not true anymore. ) I do buy a lot of 'convenient' frozen veggies for my own family, when I don't have time for 'scratch'. Usually the quickie 'steamables'. As for "fresh from the garden" --all I grow is fresh herbs in pots. But at least I taught all my kids "scratch" cooking. (I guess my kids never had it as good as I did, with the garden fresh veggies and scratch-made everything!) I understand. I hope you didn't think I was judging! My mom worked all day and was usually up till almost midnight, between cooking, home chores, grading papers, and making lesson plans. She probably would have used a lot more 'convenience foods' if she could have afforded them.

There is a lot of truth in this, although my experience with cooking was different. Back in the 1950's-60's, the cost of pre-processed vs. fresh food was the reverse of what it is now. If a family made enough money between two parents' wages, they could afford time-saving 'pre-cooked' and/or partially-prepared mixes. They didn't have to make everything "from scratch". Cooking "from scratch" was so much cheaper than the convenience foods, it made a big difference to the budget. My mom didn't make much money teaching school, and my dad was a self-employed carpenter/handyman. Her work was steady during the school year, but his wasn't --so we lived on Mom's salary during school and on whatever Dad had, for the summer. Plus, we had fruit trees and my dad always grew a veggie garden. Mom often used canned veggies on school nights - but a lot of it was 'canned' at home. Money was very tight. --But that's how they sent us to college. For my mom, "convenience foods" were a luxury that our family could rarely afford. She even made her own cakes, rather than buy mixes. And that was how I learned to cook from my mother --from scratch. Of course, now it's very easy to find cheap "convenience foods" (although they usually aren't that healthy). It's pretty obvious that the millenial women in MAFS have been doing that -and/or eating out- almost exclusively. They may never have learned to cook anything "from scratch".

My mom did. Even if they worked, MOST moms of baby-boomers were expected to do all the housework and nearly all the child-rearing, too. My mom was ahead of her time, in some ways. She brought home the bacon, and cooked it up in the pan. She never wore high heels to cook. If my dad (who smoked) wanted an ash tray, he had to get it for himself, and dump it out too. She 'drew the line' at that. Dad definitely knew better than to bring his stinky cigarettes into the room she was in! I'm glad millenial women don't feel they have to do it all when both they and their spouses work full time. If my mom were alive, she'd be happy about that too. Mom never indoctrinated me into the "little woman" mindset --and for that, I will always be very grateful. Both men and women should learn basic cooking and proper food preparation hygiene. I'm a big proponent of high school jobs at fast-food restaurants for exactly that reason! They require their employees to take classes in proper (and sanitary) handling of food. [It's not as good as a year in Home Ec, but it's better than nothing.] If the "experts" somehow manage to screw that couple up, I might actually be mad enough to stop watching MAFS completely!

I'm not so sure about the "good-naturedly" part -- but they seem to be going through the motions to fulfill their show contract.

...And I generally agree with you. I am convinced that the show very carefully chooses its words when it describes its 'professional' "experts". They have legit degrees, I'm sure. However, I don't think they are officially 'counselling' these show participants. I mean, hey, I'm pretty sure I could 'counsel' them; I've got over 40 years experience at marriage. But I don't [quite] have a degree in psychology.

I agree with everyone that Mia is a scary-disturbed woman with a felony arrest and should never, ever have been chosen for the show. But the show gave Tristan a "get out of this marriage free card" when Mia was arrested and couldn't board the plane (or any plane) to go on her honeymoon.He could have just walked away, right then. They gave him that option because she had a stalking/fraud felony warrant. Tristan chose not to walk away. And when he made that choice, he should have left that issue in the past like he said he would. Now, Tristan seems to be holding that over Mia's head... "Mia, you have to do what I want, say what I want you to, and (especially) you must *not* say what I *don't *want you to say, because you're mine now and I could've walked away from this whole 'marriage' but I didn't, damnit!" Dude, you had your chance to walk away --but that doesn't justify you declaring yourself Lord and Master and treating your wife like an intellectually-challenged 4-year-old.

"Tony from Houston"... Interesting, that Mia apparently has an ex in Houston, where Tristan wants her to move with him, that still thinks Mia is the best thing since sliced bread! ...Re-watching last week's episode with Pastor Cal making stupid remarks. Sorry, Cal old boy, but I don't think any family has ever existed that never commented to an adult child that they have reservations about something their child's spouse is saying or doing (or even talking about doing). No matter how old they get, your children are still your children, and while it's true, you should bite your lip a lot, there are still times when legitimate issues relating to your own child's well-being are more important than being polite. Besides, it wasn't Mia's father doing the talking --it was her sister.

This should be the "do or die" point for the two couples on the brink. I'm actually hoping for pleasant surprises (--but expecting drama, instead).

Meh. I don't think labels are very useful. I do think Mia is a fame hungry person, and she's not the only one on the show I think that about. However, Mia isn't really 'garden variety,' since she was charged with multiple felonies...