Crazy Bird Lady

So, I have a question for you, Yeah No. The general consensus seems to be than Tristan gave Mia an 8 because he "thinks' he's 'starting to fall in love with her" --or possibly the real reason is because he's worried about what she might have done if he'd given her a lower score that made her feel rejected.. So, anybody still lurking on this comment thread: What 0-10 score do you think Mia deserves for her first 3 weeks as a wife??

You're right. However, there's another 'context' that really matters --since these 3 couples will inevitably be meeting up with each other again. It matters who got the lowest score among the three women, because whoever got the lowest, is presumed to be the new wife whose new husband is least pleased with her and the wife most likely to find herself divorced when the 'experiment' ends. (To Amber, that means social humiliation -- and being "judged" by watchers like us.)

omg

I'll take that bait. I don't think their marriage would have worked without the felonious arrest, because Mia would still be Mia. She would probably still lie whenever she's confronted or threatened. She's also uber-emotional, and that sometimes leads her to extreme behavior. (But of course, it would have been 'paradise' in the beginning --after all, God meant them to be together. )

Seems like we'll just have to agree to disagree on a lot of this. But I totally agree with you about how ridiculously stupid it was for Pastor Cal to ask the men to "rate" their wives! ...And by the way --after the fact, all three wives ask their husbands what happened with Pastor Cal, and when they were told about the 'rating wives' thing, all three wives asked what rating they got. Amber was the only one who got really upset about her rating --but of course, her rating was the lowest.

Dave is a jerk for rating Amber the way he did. I think it was largely based on his seething resentment (*not* open and honest!) that Amber had never done her "one chore" -- washing his clothes as well as her own. I say Dave was being a jerk because he wasn't being "open and honest" about it. When Dave rated Amber to Pastor Cal he was basing that partly on Amber not doing his laundry --yet, he never told Amber that he resented it until afterward. I do agree with Humbleopinion, (but perhaps not for the same reasons). If you've already decided you're going to want a divorce at the end of the show and you're just trying to 'do your time' as pleasantly as possible, it's much smarter to keep that temporary spouse as happy as possible, avoiding 'brutal honesty'. (Especially since it appears they've been pretty much having sex daily, and that part of it, Dave does like!!) I don't know the details of the contracts these MAFS spouses sign, but it's pretty obvious they're under a lot of pressure to at least stick it out till the show ends. Which is definitely smarter than what Dave did.

Absolutely true. But rating wives overall --not just on appearance-- Amber should definitely have gotten a higher score than Mia! [And this is irrelevant, but if they were rating on appearance, I think Mia should have gotten about a 4.]

But they won't... Amber doesn't believe him about that, and frankly, considering the guys had to know they'd be asked about it, I can see why. Even Mia got an 8 from her husband!

Exactly. People are totally focused now on Amber being "lazy" and/or "entitled," a "high maintenance" woman who expects lavish praise without her having to put in any effort whatsoever to make their marriage work. As an older 'feminist' myself, I do understand the symbolic significance of being criticized for not wanting to do 'little woman' chores for your husband. Being dependent on a man might be one of Amber's many fears, one more thing that she's insecure about when it comes to relationships. As a wife and mother, I also know it's important to do what has to be done, regardless. If your hubby's chasing a hard deadline at work, you help out with stuff he would normally do --and vice-versa. But Amber just doesn't 'get' the reciprocity thing. And Dave does give off some vibes that bother me. I can see Dave someday being one of those guys who thinks he's being generous for "babysitting" his own kids, instead of going out and having fun with his "bros". In any case, Amber should never have volunteered to do the laundry as her chore, if she wasn't going to make good on that promise. That's absolutely not cool, and there's no acceptable excuse for it. Me, too. Did you notice that Amber indirectly brought up the gym thing with Dave's "wifeys group" friends? She was speculating whether the Jessica Biel celeb crush drama explained why Dave had never "hit on her" at the gym. The other "wifeys" didn't seem at all surprised by that comment, so I guess they'd all heard about it...

Most of this is without question. But don't forget that Amber is struggling with major issues of self-esteem, which is certainly a big part of the problem. Amber is another major failure of the 'experts' to screen out people with serious psychological 'issues'. As for: "..which is what lead to her weird statement about not wanting to do things for her husband..." I don't think that's just about 'selfishness' or 'lazyness'. Amber believes she is (and should remain) a very independent woman. She's 36 years old, she has a job, she's has never had a spouse before, and she's probably never even lived with a man before Dave. Amber probably has strong internal conflicts about giving up her independence. She's accustomed to doing things her own way --including putting off (or ignoring) the things she doesn't want to do (and maybe eventually paying someone else to do them). Amber may very well consider "housewife" to be one of the worst cuss-words that ever existed! She rejected the idea of Dave looking over her finances, his questioning her about what she spends her money on, and his 'judging' her best friend for being so dominant in that marriage. I'm guessing that she wanted a husband for (a) regular sex, (b) making babies, and (c) flattering her on a regular basis. (Not necessarily in that order.) Dave has obviously 'failed' at (c), and he doesn't seem interested in (b).

Yep, that would be the best solution.

Exactly! Except, I think they're under a whole lot of pressure not to quit before the "experiment" ends...

I agree with this, mostly. They were almost as bad a match as Mia and Tristan. The so-called "experts" messed up even more than usual, this year. When you're right, you're right.

Agreed -- except I think "the experts" and Mia are tied for worst ever.

Me, too. It's coming, we just don't know what 'it' is yet. Maybe the financial thing? I just hope they can survive it, I really do love them as a couple. Amber reacts to anything she perceives as negative criticism by (first) blaming herself. (I knew it! I'm a terrible wife! I always knew I'd be a terrible wife, that's why I never got married!) Then, because she's hurting, she blurts out something hurtful --like saying "I never should have married you!" Yes, I think Mia's first reaction to any accusation is making up a lie she thinks the other person will believe. She was being deceptive again. She might actually have deleted that app from her phone and/or her tablet (or whatever). But, she'd probably still be getting e-mails from interested men. The honest thing to do would have been to say so (if it's true), and (if it's true) explain that she never replied to any of them, they just keep appearing in her inbox.

Tristan is a basket case, but he's still being encouraged to "stay strong" and to "trust the process"... What a bunch of BS.

There will be drama sooner or later for Bobby and Danielle, never fear! If this show doesn't have enough drama going on, they do something like... asking all the men to 'rate' their wives, for example...

I'm just disgusted that someone like Mia got chosen for this show, in the first place. I mean-- I thought they were supposed to do a bunch of psychological tests, to develop a personality profile for the interesting applicants... They sure let a big personality problem slip right by them!

I think it's probably true that Mia is the name she's known by, and she's probably been called that her whole life. However, it's also obvious that anyone who wants to look up her arrest record would have more difficulty if they're looking up 'Mia,' and they don't know the name on her birth certificate. I think they (especially Mia!) didn't want any mention of 'lawyers,' or any other indication that the charges she'd been arrested for were still part of an open case.

Sad.

Exactly. I think that's what Mia's father was trying to tell Tristan (without really explaining it) right after the wedding.

I hope not. I'm still rooting for Bobby and Danielle to be the one couple that works out.

She can't change the fact that her hair is badly damaged, though, from over-bleaching --unless she cuts it. Maybe she'd look good in a shorter cut?

Most likely, they never even ask them in personal interviews about important things like pets. Probably just a "Dogs --yes/no" on one of their many questionnaires. ...And then, of course, the 'experts' are all, "Oh, that person has never owned a pet! We need to match them with a dog lover so they will 'broaden their emotional horizons', and expand their experiences." Blah, blah, blah...

We do not know the context... It could be part of a discussion about the Amber/Dave/Paisley situation. I can easily imagine Dave deciding he doesn't want Paisley living in his pristine home anymore.