laurakaye

You do realize that he is SAINT JACK, the fatherest father who ever fathered and the husbandest hubby who ever husbanded. Right? But I agree wholeheartedly. I find it funny that the writers assume they need to "redeem" Miguel for us when in my opinion, Miguel is the saint for putting up with this lot for the better part of 20 years. Plus, they've been portraying him so far as a piece of cardboard so no redemption needed here, thanks. Can I just say how much I adore the use of "Pearson" as a verb? Right, and what a weird combo of flavors to not like. When I first watched this scene, I was like - what snack is both chocolate and grape flavored? Then I realized he meant it as two separate flavors. I mean, I can see "no lime or pineapple" or something like that. But chocolate and grape? That's just wrong. And no lie, it took me right out of the scene.

Random thoughts: I am kind of liking Jenna. She knows that she comes across as unapproachable based on her RBF, so she tried to get in good by lamely attempting to flirt with SeaBass. And while he clearly has zero interest in her, she went for it anyway. But it was like watching two rocks try to court each other. Speaking of SeaBass...you know how you sometimes see a picture of a celebrity posing with their non-famous sibling, and while you can see the resemblance, the sibling sometimes looks like an oddly-put together version of the celeb? IMO, in that scenario, Ozzy is the celeb and SeaBass is the sibling. Sometimes I can see a strong likeness to Ozzy in SeaBass. It's kind of jarring, 'cause I love me some Ozzy. Sebastian, however, is just a little bit "off." If circa late-80's Andrew McCarthy and James Spader had a baby, it would be Bradley. Ghost Island is a snooze-fest, and I was SO looking forward to it.

I could quote 354 posts on this thread, but instead I ran around dishing out "hearts" like tears on a wet bar. The above quote, though, is pretty interesting, and I suspect it's true. I didn't realize that Meri and Christine hadn't had a good relationship for so long, but I'm sure Robyn had a lot to do with it. Meri brings in Robyn to get back at bubbly, baby-factory Christine and then zounds! Which two wives end up bonding? Robyn and Christine. Nice try, Meri! Thanks for playing! So much to unpack here, but here are a couple of observations: Meri asking Mariah to meet Cheryl and her daughter was all kinds of WTF. Meri's ridiculous nervous giggling makes me want to hurl rocks at my television, and it tells me that she's not over Sam - or at least, not over the fillings Sam gave her before Sam became that rascal meanie catfisher. If Meri were truly and honestly sorry and embarrassed, she could've approached it as, "look, I rilly messed up. I was lonely and vulnerable and a rilly easy target. I would like you to meet and talk with Cheryl so maybe you can get a better idea of where my head was at." However, when Mariah said that she was over it and Meri kept giggling and pushing and telling Mariah that her hesitancy to meet Meri's fellow Sam-bait was because Mariah still didn't have closure - that was a load of crap. Meri wants to drag this out because she and her new bestie need each other to bask in the shared glow of that handsome Sam while pretending to be outraged and play the victim. Why Meri would actually want her daughter to bear witness to that BS is beyond me. That said, I am actually looking forward to Meri and Cheryl teaming up again because if it's anything like last time, it solved nothing and taught us nothing except how to giggle at what might have been. Gross. Also, Aspyn's boyfriend has that distinct FLDS accent that I always hear on shows like Escaping Polygamy or documentaries on Warren Jeffs. That surprised me a little, because we don't hear that in any of the Browns. That sister wives lunch was just so horrendously awkward. Body-language much, Janelle?? Sheesh. Meri might bring a lot of baggage, but in close second is Janelle and her thousand-yard stare of duhhhhhhh. And Robyn's chin is starting to blend into her neck.

I don't know if Kody will flip us off, but I am mostly interested to see if he will be wearing more makeup than Meri. I really like it when the makeup person fills in his eyebrows to the point of resembling a cro-magnon man. And I know I am beating a dead wet bar here, but COME. ON. Meri is upset that she was the only wife not at the birth??!?&^% I can't even with her. It's not even revisionist history anymore, it's her creating a brand-new reality and hoping those of us who watch the show will conveniently forget her words and actions in her effort to make herself look like the poor sadz and fillings wifey that no one loves anymore. So, what - Meri stepping inside the house, looking around for someone to run up and give her a hug and then when that didn't happen because everyone was busy watching Maddie's hoo-ha, she stealthily exits - that's her interpretation of being left out of the fam'ly festivities once again?? This is a purely rhetorical question that I have asked before but must ask once again...does she even hear herself talk anymore?! P.S.....can't wait for Roseanne!!!

What, you don't want to glean deep thoughts from your next-door neighbor or that woman you worked with five years ago but never got around to unfriending?? ;) Gonna be a hell of a quick meeting. Hey! Those were actually cans of corn! And they were already gray and Meri painted them a better gray while Janelle sat there befuddled and semi-comatose and it was a rilly big dill! That's one of my favorite episodes and it actually saddens me that I remember it in such detail. Off to rethink my priorities.

I don't know what would be worse during childbirth - my labor being turned into a seated General Admission event, my dad being all up in my business where my husband should rightfully be, or my husband breathing his Chinese food breath into my face whilst wearing his Superman jammies. You guys, these people.

Whoa, did anyone else feel a chill when they read that line?! I don't know how I missed it the first time. I always read your recaps at least twice, @LilWharveyGal. I hope you write for a living because if you don't, the world is crying. Bwahahaha, this is both hilarious and spot-on. And the thing is, in actual reality, this is exactly what Meri is thinking. To the letter. The other wives shouldn't have given one freaking dime to Meri given that Ysabel, their collective child, may need to undergo surgery. Adults put aside the things they WANT for the things they NEED. And when you are a sister wife and you think it's awesome and you wouldn't have it any other way, then every last one of the kids from your shared man belong to YOU, Meri. Again, I would love to know the reactions of the kids when they watch this show. Ysabel could need surgery, but guess what? There's a house in Parowan, Utah, that Meri wants. Wants. Now. Belongs to her. Money no object. Family support not necessary - except for their checkbooks. Wants. Nowwwwwwwwwww. One last note - if we'd all taken a shot every time Meri said "Parowen, Utah," how many of us wouldn't have made it halfway through the two hours? (**raises hand**)

Good grief, reading about Maddie's labor left me exhausted. I haven't seen it yet but seriously - folding chairs in the bathroom? Um. What?! I'm going with the most obvious answer. My favorite part of this episdoe was when Meri said that she's not going to let the others' opinions sway her decision to buy this house because it's her dream and na-na-na-na-boo-boo. So.........? She needs them on board for money but she's going to do it whether they agree or not? How does that work? Does she even listen to herself? And the B&B is going to be Bonnie's house. But Bonnie won't run a B&B. But in order to buy it, it has to be run as a B&B. But Bonnie won't live with some stranger who might be willing to run it that way. But Bonnie wants to live there. So Meri is going to make that happen. With money from her family. But she doesn't care if they are on board or not. It's so ridiculously funny, it's almost come full circle from funny to sad to crazy and back to funny again.

Took me a minute...LOLZ. :) I wonder if, once the show goes off the air, that's when Meri bails. Of course she needs the TLC paycheck, but I'm thinking that she's sticking around because if she leaves and the show continues on without her, she'd be forced to watch as the family becomes lighter and happier and more cohesive because she's gone. So even though she's miserable, she's gonna stick it out as long as new episodes air. She was the first wifey and by gosh, she's not going anywhere - until the Browns become just another no-name family, and then she's gone.

And they paid for it by Meri's mom selling her house? That's a lot of money. If there's a mortgage, who is paying it?

And I get the exact opposite from her. I think she is desperate to win him back. The whole catfish debaucle was interesting - she was prepared to run away and live in splendor with her handsome millionaire boyfriend, until she figured out that she could play the victim of a mean ol' catfisher. She never properly apologized (except to paint trees for her sister-wives, which was yet another passive way to appease Kody - by being nice to the wives that he still has relationships with) but I absolutely think she was waiting for Kody to bring her back into the fold, forgive her, and give her some special Kody-time as they repaired their relationship. The whole stupid B&B thing is just another way of her throwing a passive-aggressive tantrum to get Kody's attention. She is like a child who misbehaves in order to get their parent's attention. It might be negative attention, but it's better than none at all. I think that most of the things she does are calculated to get Kody's attention, except it seems that Kody might finally be over her.

I literally have no earthly clue why this wasn't the plan all along. Why would Meri's mom need two houses? Why would Meri ask her mostly estranged family to fund the B&B in the first place if her mom had a house to sell? Gahhhhh! I don't get it. Hopefully it was "War and Peace." LOLZ. +++++++++++++++++1. I haven't seen the episode yet but I can absolutely see Meri doing her very best passive-aggressive act...sulking around the house, no one noticing or caring or acknowledging her, and Meri being all - "well, Maddie doesn't need me so I'll just go." I'm sure the mood lightened considerably for all of the spectators when she finally left. But so freaking true that she could've made herself useful by making food or something. She is just the worst.

Exactly this. Instead, all we see are Meri and Nancy doing the two-step around the ginormous elephant in the room, which is that Meri is a polygamists's wife but in her mind she is in a monogamous marriage. The topics of therapy should include jealousy, passive-aggressiveness, loneliness, empty-nest syndrome, peri-menopause, what have you. Instead we watch Meri stumble over how she is dilling with her fillings, and all the while ignoring the fact that she wants Kody, he divorced her, and she seriously considered running off with a gorgeous millionaire to the point where she told her family that she was bailing. And yet, it's all Meri babbling nonsense and non-sequitur, and Nancy nodding sagely. I agree with the bolded lines so much - if Meri took an ounce of ownership for her own misery, she might actually get some help from therapy. And Nancy should be holding Meri accountable. We never see this and it's likely we never will. We're supposed to think that Meri is working on herself because she goes to therapy. That's like saying Janelle is working on herself because she owns a business called "Strive." Morons, all of them.

My goodness, but isn't this the truth. If Meri had the capability to be self-aware, she would be very embarrassed. But we all know that ain't happening. And does Lularoe make shoes? That would explain the footwear.

Once again I must proclaim my adoration for your recaps. So many spot-on comments. I mean, these people. I asked if we are supposed to like the Big 3. You asked if it was a rhetorical question. I must admit, I don't even know anymore. Because as I sit and watch these characters interact with each other, I find myself laughing and eye-rolling during moments when I am pretty sure the writers want me to have the feelz. I imagine the writers want us to empathize with Kevin's struggles, be impressed with Randall's speechifying, and identify with poor Kate who is always sad...all because they had a saint for a dad? I don't know! I don't get it! And then I hear the chatter in the breakroom at work regarding this show and see the glowing social media posts- so I know that people like it. This show is a hit and has won awards. But I don't understand how a group of writers can create such selfish, annoying, sad-sack characters and still have this tear-stained, tissue-clutching cult following. All I could think about while I was watching the Vegas episode was that it would be absolutely exhausting to have these people as friends in real life, unless you enjoy hanging out with people who are all about themselves, 24/7. I swear, I don't get it. I know the snark thread here gets a lot of action, but I also sometimes wonder if there's a piece of granite where my heart should be.

Kody is an asshat with a bad perm. But the above statement drives me nuts - so if a wife is unhappy and not legally married and there's nothing to keep her around...and if the husband makes it clear that there will be no more sexytimes because of trust or because he's got someone hotter down the street...what is the point of her sticking around? Her misery is clearly going to affect the rest of the family dynamics. Meri's desperation and sadness practically emanates off of the tv screen (or maybe that's just the patterns on her LulaNo sweaters giving off visible vibes, who knows). But why - when Kody has three other wives who are currently pretty chill - would be really want Meri to stay and make everyone's lives miserable? Even his kids are aware that she's no longer interested in being a part of the family. I mean, it's just so twisted - if Meri is staying because Kody wants her to "for the family," but she's no longer really part of the family, then what the hell is the point? I love this post so much I want to marry it. But I won't share it with a sister wife.

So let me see if I have this straight...the other wives had to take a cut on their own homes because Meri needed a manse as big if not bigger than the other wives, as well as the infamous wet bar of tears...but now that she's living the high life with LulaNo, she doesn't have to kick in some of that money to the family bank account? I literally cannot figure out how the other three wives haven't somehow risen up and revolted against Meri and her sad orange tears. I also cannot fathom how Meri can frolic off to Disney every other weekend when there are still umpteen growing Brownies in the cuddle-sac who need new shoes and possibly surgery. It boggles the mind and makes my brain hurt. Well, she used to come over to play with Sol because she knew that Sol was Kody-bait. Perhaps she tried the same thing with Baby Sister but Robyn said "Nope." Oh hey now, what did Kool and the Gang ever do to you? Celebrate good times, yo! Just kidding, this made me laugh. There are so many clever ways to refer to this group of wing-nuts, it's hard to choose a favorite. I call dibs on the blonde wig.

See also: Truely's hospitalization for severe kidney distress. That broke my heart. Google Janice the Muppet. That might be who you're thinking of. Except Janice is cute. I lost the other quoted post, but someone mentioned that being the husband in a polygamous marriage means that the husband is supposed to support his wives emotionally, spiritually, etc. Kody continues to show me that he is not following polygamy for anything but his own ego. If Meri is struggling, doesn't he need her to remain in the fold so he can get his own planet? If he doesn't believe in the tenets of polygamy (which I don't think he does), then he can easily dismiss her and let Meri figure things out by herself (which is what he is doing). If he needed her for his faith, it seems like he'd be working with her to keep her in the family. He's not, because he's over her, and I don't think he ever cared about having his own planet. I will never not believe that Kody only wanted polygamy to feed his enormous need for attention, so Meri is disposable to him.

But lest you forget...Randall can monologue. He can simply sit down with the loan officer, deliver a multi-paragraph speech about his humble beginnings, being raised by The Perfect Father, his struggles with his brother, his bio dad, and his wife, and why he needs to revive this crumbling building for his foster daughter and her mother. The loan officer, moved to tears, submits the paperwork and puts a rush on it. Randall has his cash the next day and is able to hire 16 construction workers to turn the building into a gorgeous apartment complex with a heated pool and a coffee shop. Because Randall. You beat me to it. This. ^^

I found Jack's treatment of Rebecca during the gift-giving flashbacks pretty lousy and also eye-rolling. Rebecca gives him a bound notebook. He says, "Oh wow I love it but wait here's your gift!" and then makes the bowlers in Lane 20 halt their game for a public slow-dance. Then there's the personalized hammer and again, "Oh, wow, that is soooooo thoughtful but here's your gift, babe!" and it's a piano in the living room. To me he came across as just wanting to quickly open his gifts so he could one-up her with his gifts to her. Kind of jackaassery behavior, IMO. I laughed out loud when Kevin was doing sit-ups directly in front of the mini-bar and the bottles kept coming in and out of focus. It was like, "Tempted! Not tempted! Tempted!" Etc. Subtle. And I totally thought Magic Mike would kindly ask Randall to step aside and let the ladies enjoy the show, so that Randall could monologue to the young stripper about how he could never understand what it's like to be dragged to Vegas against your will when all you want to do is sit at home and stare at your phone in case your foster daughter calls. Missed opportunity for speechifying, writers!

LOL, and I find myself thinking the opposite, as in how are they interacting so much when they all live in different states? I swear I am still not clear on who lives where...Kate and Toby in LA, Kevin also in LA, Randall in New Jersey and Rebecca in Pennsylvania. That's what I get from reading here. But I have little to no sense of how they end up hanging out together so easily. Lots of frequent flyer miles, perhaps? That is strange. I kind of glossed over it the first time because I was still ticked off that Toby scampered after Kevin and Randall after they acted like the self-absorbed jerks they are, but I also have a sister 10 years younger and agree that the older sibling would have to have acted really odd for a 10 years younger sibling to not want to follow them around and spend time with them. So are we to assume that Toby has a pretty messed-up past and that's why he has no friends as well as no relationship with his brother? Or is this just something that sounded good at the time and it'll just be dropped?

Interesting take...I am familiar with the person who must post every single event on social media because if it's not online and doesn't get "likes," perhaps it never really happened. I unfollow those people because the minutiae of their lives are not nearly as interesting as they believe it to be. And I do see that quality in Kevin, Randall, and Toby. They are the Look-At-Me Facebook Person come to life on a hit tv show. No wonder I can't stand them. Now all I need is a rocking chair and an afghan over my legs while I yell at children to get off my lawn. :)

+++++++++++++++1. Unpopular opinion rant time...thank goodness for this thread. Just watched "Vegas, Baby." And my question is - are we actually supposed to like any of the Pearson kids? Since this show is centered around the Big Three (and their parents), shouldn't the characters have some qualities that make us root for them? Because I can't do it. Like, at all. First off, I am SO OVER the propensity of the B3 to bail on other people's important events because they simply cannot let their own personal issues go unresolved even for one evening. Randall leaving because he was obsessed with Deja and then Kevin wandering off because he saw someone he knew and then had the sadz because he thought Ron Howard didn't love him anymore? I laughed. Because this is what these characters do. Kevin and Randall both come across as incredibly insufferable and self-absorbed, and I can't stand either one of them. When they came groveling back to Toby after Kate explained to Randall that Toby actually does not have any real friends (sad...and also, why?), I wanted Toby to shut the door in their faces. Instead, he scampers after them like a happy little puppy and then suddenly imparts his deep wisdom onto both of them. There, everything is nice and fixed and wrapped up with a bow. Come ON. Also, how did Randall know exactly where to find Beth after he bailed on Toby? Once again, the Quirky Love Couple end up not only ruining Kate's party, but having a full-on yelling argument while standing in the FRONT ROW of a show. Who does this? Why should I like any of them? They clearly only care about themselves, and if their problems come up in a less-than-convenient circumstance, well - circumstances be damned, because their problems are paramount and must be solved RIGHT NOW. And then there was Kevin's monologue to the poor woman who only wanted to drop off his stupid towels and move along. This is another recurring theme with the Pearson family. They all have this sense of extreme importance, such that they simply must monopolize the time of complete strangers and force them to listen to the woes of their lives. Because the Pearsons are special! Special, I tell you! So no, you may not continue on your way until you stand there and listen to my amazing story! Sheesh. I am under the impression that we are supposed to care about this family, but I don't know how we are supposed to do that.

I assumed the plan was to let the two of them swim, then have James do the diving (as evidenced by the rest of the team waving Donathan in while James tried to dive). James probably assured his tribe that he would be able to dive. The other option would've been to have Donathan either treading water or shooting baskets. And while I wasn't fond of Probst's storytime where Donathan becomes the hero who saves the day, I am all for someone doing something that they previously never thought they could do. LOL, but true - didn't they hoist Donathan up to grab one of the bags in the first challenge? A small person sometimes really comes in handy! That said: Did I see Gonzalez Stephanie do a lil' flounce with her skirt when she sat down after voting? That's a whole lot of arrogance for a newbie. See you later and please don't come back. I was wondering if the Ghost Island players have to smash the urns in order, or can they choose? Hoping Morgan can keep her mouth shut about the Legacy Advantage. And whoever pegged her as Ashley from The Challenge, thank you! Spot-on. Jacob had that whole "fake idol" story memorized...he talked too fast and too long. When trying to create a lie, I think short and sweet is best. See also: Domenick's quick and succinct answer when Chris initially asked him if he had an idol. That was good. Hopefully Chris believed him because while I don't like either dude, I dislike Chris more. Can't wait to see if the f****** stick comes into play. :)

Personally, I would LOVE for this show to go back to its roots, at least for a season or two - no idols, no tricks or twists or Exile islands or returning players or ships with Cochran aboard, etc. I think it would be kind of awesome to take a cast of people and tell them there's no idol to be found. Would they believe it? Would they still look? How would they strategize? I didn't even hate last season, although I didn't need to see people tripping over idols because they were all over the place. But I agree, changes are needed to keep the show fresh after 18 years. This time around, I am looking forward to a group of superfans getting a chance to use artifacts from previous seasons. It's an interesting twist that, as Probst said, has been cooking for years now - they just had to wait for the right time. I can't help it - I get irrationally geeked out every time Probst says, "20 people, 39 days, one Survivor." It's a part of my history. I can still remember my three-year old son unexpectedly falling asleep in my arms right before the finale of season 1, allowing me to watch the show uninterrupted. He's in college now. It's just cool to me how long this show has been around. Okay, I'm done gushing. And the dessert is lemonade pie. :)