BlackWidow

How now brown cow to that. speaking of which, I don't know about you guys, but I'm good with them not having to have the next kid's arrival- which should be any minute now- be on TV.

She's actually sort of dragged her feet by plyg standards as far as bringing the spirit-children down to earth or whatever. I remember how psyched she was in the beginning about having all the other wives help her with her kids. I would bet she is not wanting to keep on having more as she would probably have to have the next one pretty darn quick, then she would have two still at home even when Sol goes to school. Two that would still be in diapers and even with the older girls sort of helping, it would still be a zoo and remind Kody of the old insane days when the other two wives had a crazy amount of kids at once. Then before too long, #4's kids would move past the oh, look at the sweet little babies, and become yet another herd of kids vying for attention, trading whatever colds/flu, fighting and drama, needing clothes, braces etc., the mom having all these issues and needs concerning the kids that were more serious and pressing than lying in bed in gossamer nighties singing lullabies... and all the dreamlike quality of the beginning of their relationship when everything was new and not as hard would be gone. She doesn't want a third and will stall it until it is too late, or not a good idea or secretly prevent it or claim problems etc. Hence, she would rather have #5 come on board to become the endless baby-machine than enter the scenario I described. But she is not going to sell it to him that way, to say, hey I'm done having kids- so here's how she sells him on this. "but KOH-DEEEEE, the only kid even comparable in age to our kids together is Truly, and we don' rilly hang out- but if you have #5, our younger kids will have siblings closer in age, I want our kids to have all these half-siblings like your older kids had, blah blah blabbity blah blah. I'm doin' this fer you n' fer our kids....' (cries) Tell me you don't totally see some BS like this happening...

OK so why does this Kendra person give a sh*t what Meri does re 'Sam' or the show or whatever. Why does this chick act like it's so critical Meri do anything either way and talk to Meri like she has any say re all this? What's it to her? It would be super annoying to have a 'friend' who was not only all up in your business but to be all neurotic, bordering on hysterical 'you have to do this, omg you can't lie , that is so terrible, you have to talk to this person , you have to do this or that, blah blah' on and on. Makes me wonder why this chick was so wanting Meri to admit anything or whatever she was trying to do, like what the agenda was. No wonder the Brown chicks blew her off. See this is what makes it suck to confide in people, because maybe you could have just dealt with it on your own, but then you tell them, and it is they who can't handle someone ELSE's crap & ultimately make it worse for you for trusting them- and if you can't handle what someone is dumping, tell them that, say don't tell me, I don't want to know, I don't want to hear secrets etc. I just wonder how this Kendra chick found out anything to begin with. It's a side-story I guess I never followed up on. Reading those texts is exhausting, all the super emo stuff- makes me feel like I'm reading texts from teenagers.

The one phone shot that struck me as odd is the one where they refer to Sam in the third person- but isn't it supposed to be Sam she is talking to? Someone catch me up on the Utah/Vegas version of telemundo soaps http://i2.wp.com/www.notbatmanyet.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/image-3.jpeg?w=480

I don't know, from the tell-all and the somewhat sheepish 'I-don't-want-to-say' face she made when asked this question, I'm thinking she doesn't 'blame' her mom and also is thinking twice about following in her footsteps. Could also be she feels like any answer she gave would be then used as fodder for follow-up tell-all questions and media criticism, which we are already doing. If she says yes, we will say, wtf really? and she will feel bad, and if she says no, people will say, see I knew it was a crappy situation all along, you were there to see it firsthand and we were right. In the Alaska episode it looked like Meri was sitting at a different table than the kids, including Mariah. I really hope she doesn't get estranged from her mom over all this, and let her resentment over the move out of state color her feelings about this latest bs-as I'm sure she really has seen firsthand how it affects all of them. After all, her mom did fight for her to go to the college of her choice and is probably still paying for it to some degree. If that is so, she would probably want her mom to keep being on the show, right? Maybe that seems all cold and pragmatic, but hey, I'm sure Westminster (I think that is where they said she attends) is not cheap and TLC or scholarships might not be covering the whole deal, so whether or not she gets paid individually for tell-all or SW appearances, if her mom is contributing, I would think she would have a reason for her mom to want to hang in there. So even if she does 'blame' her mom for whatever, she would have to pretty much shut up about it and like she did on the tell-all, remain coy and vague about her opinions, you know, like saying "well I'm young and figuring stuff out still, I don't know". I would doubt though, that after she got over the initial WTH of hearing about it from who knows, friends, internet, etc., she would still probably stand by her mom- she wasn't too young not to get how the whole adding #4 thing affected everyone, that and the whole 'IVF should I or shouldn't I ' thing, knowing that even while it seemed she wanted her mom to do it, she knows her mom wasn't like 30 considering this and how hard it would be to go through all that and then maybe it not even work, or she might have problems or unexpected results and so on. Hopefully she is smart enough to know this having studied medicine and also just knowing having yet another kodlet wouldn't be the magic bullet to make everything great for her mom and might in fact have made things even harder.

Kody attends men's awareness drum circle retreat, they are passing the talking stick around the fire and bitching about their jobs, their mortgage, their health, kids, etc. Mike: So I'm trying to make the child support payments and here I have this 20 year old who is into me but I don't know, I mean, I just don't know man.. Bud: Yeah so I don't know what's gonna happen, they cut my hours, she's looking for work, we got behind on our credit card payments,just sucks..so yeah.. Kody: Well I don't know if you all know, but I've got FOUR times the problems you guys have (does characteristic nervous laugh) heh heh heh. Maybe you guys don't recognize me but (collective groan comes from the group) "yeah we know" Group Leader With Made-Up New Age Name Rafe Featherstone grabs talking stick from Kody: Rule #1 People, we don't judge. Mike's stuff is his stuff, Bud's stuff is his stuff and Kody's stuff is his stuff. We're here to uh, honor what's in our heads and hearts , get in touch with nature and uh.. the masculine principle.. Kody: (grabs talking stick back) ha, don't say 'principle' where I'm from, it means a whole different thing heh heh heh So anyway, I've got this tv show, and all these kids and FOUR, count 'em, FOUR women that I have to deal with, I know I'm going to another gift I don't like, I owe one of them another vacation that I'm not looking forward to cause I have to hear them complain about me..and then on top of it all, (starts to get weepy) there's this hair issue that I can't seem to get away from. Can we all just think for a minute about me and maybe have a spiritual prayer go up about this hair thing? (silence from the group. Men who have been staring despondently into the flames look up, glaring at kody) Rafe Featherstone starts a slow drumbeat,no one else joins in with their drums. "ok well let's have a group prayer for Jimbob's illness, Dave's foreclosure, Steve's daughter's rehab.." A light is seen coming from the forest, it draws closer, it looks like it's maybe a golf cart. A tall man gets out and wanders up to the circle. The man says to the golf cart driver: "thank you Raphael, you can go". Golf cart driver leaves. Rafe Featherstone: " Uh we're in the middle of a semi-ritual activity, may I ask if you are registered for the men's group weekend and your name?" Guy from golf cart: " Of course, my name's Sam. Sam Cooper". Kody grabs talking stick : " Rafe! Rafe, no! You can't let this guy stay, he's an impersonator, this is a scam! He's just being paid to troll me, or something" (mumbles from the other men, someone says something like "this is BS, I want my money back." Rafe: "kody, just breathe, he has registered and paid just like everyone else here, and he has a right to be here, calm down. welcome Sam" and passes the talking stick to this newcomer. Sam: Kody this is the only way I figured I would be able to talk to you, mano a mano. I wanted you to know I wasn't this insane butch chick with multiple personalities. I'm real. Featherstone: "ok well usually we don't get into personal stuff here but since it has been on tv and the internet, it's ok- if you want him to respond though, you have to give him the talking stick. Sam" (Sam passes the talking stick to Kody) Kody: "you missed everything I said earlier but whatever, but who do you see in Vegas for your hair? You have great hair, Sam."

The thing I didn't get about the tent in Y-oming thing was the timeline- if she left the family for a while to be in this tent situation, where were her kids? I thought she had Logan before even Meri had Mariah. Anyway, maybe someone knows about this part, I can't see her with a bunch of toddlers in a tent in a place that is probably cold as balls a good part of the year.

I still don't get why the people here are so hard on her about however they decide to slice their pie. They're not on the welfare now for their tater tot casseroles or whathaveyou. I mean all that stuff is essentially castles in the sand if the show doesn't go on indefinitely and they haven't paid them off or can't afford the yearly taxes even after they do, or even the probably ridiculous air conditioning bills one would have to live there when it's hot. It's hard to see her as acting like the big cheese 1s wife after this last debacle. Yeah maybe she and Janelle didn't get along and maybe she was a jerk to her, that's a separate issue from who gets what. I'm sure she can be annoying like we all can at times, but she doesn't strike me as a terrible person. It makes me kind of wonder if Janelle was maybe exaggerating, or maybe at the time whatever happened hurt more way back when, but now it is looked at as not that huge whatever happened. Thing is, we don't really know whether Meri was like a mommy dearest or whether it was just like roommates who have different schedules, like different music or when to do the dishes- when two very different people are put in close quarters kind of thing like they were saying. Whether said catfish was some dude and JO was used to cover it up or whether it was JO the whole time to me is rather immaterial to the fact that this was a woman who was clearly feeling lonely and depressed, and for all their happy tweets, she likely wasn't feeling much love or support for this to even happen. Not that the other original 2 haven't had their share of stress and bs as well but it must suck feeling like the other two have built up 'cred' just for having tons of kids when she couldn't and how many times was that rubbed in her face that we don't know about, like the "see Meri your divorce was all worth it!" (would Christine have even said that if they were that close?) and that was on TV, so it makes me wonder if either those kinds of things have been said all along, or maybe the resentments are only now floating to the surface because tv has emboldened them, or the money, separate houses, next door or not- have instilled more of a sense of competition and score-keeping- strange because they probably all have more now than they ever have. Meri probably comes across much tougher and together than she really is, you can see that from watching the old episodes, but that facade has been blown to bits. I don't buy Kody's 'oh I thought you were going to leave us' like he is all hurt and betrayed. He sure didn't look like that in the tell-all, which could mean a few things. He knows for sure somehow that JO isn't a convenient cover for something real and therefore because it was a woman, it doesn't count, even if Meri thought it was a man. Or two, he doesn't care either way but will pretend to insofar as it keeps the gravy train on schedule. The cameras aren't there all the time and we only see what they put on the show. Or 3, regardless of whether man/woman he does care but he is more pissed off than hurt because it makes him look bad, either embarrassed or like he hasn't been taking care of business making everyone happy. Or some other thing or a combination of the above, but given how he has acted in the past with blowing off the original three, he probably doesn't really care all that much or cares in a noninvested way, like 'oh that sucks that happened to her' like a friend would, but not that involved. In general though, we are pretty hard on her, when it probably over the years has really sucked to be her. You can see the changes in her watching the old episodes. Maybe they weren't all as pall-sy as they had us believe in the beginning but it did seem they were at least getting by with some sense of respect or civility. I don't know if they trust each other or have each other's backs like the are tweeting about unless they have had a major pow-wow and come to some agreements they all follow, not just 'girl-code' (who uses that expression who is like 25 +?). I don't know, it would be very sad if they were just hanging in there as a group for the show and should that end, what would happen then?

Egils, when I saw the supposed facetime phone pics of that dude , not half-face dude probably in some eastern euro country no one has ever heard of , and not the second bearded dude, but this latest one in the phone pics (who knows what is 'ril' anymore about this whole story, the whole thing is so ridiculous) but Itotally thought of 'Dante' in that movie 'Clerks' not like he even looks like him so much but that same vibe. For those not familiar Dante is the one working there. I don't really care if there was an actual dude, or not, or a real dude and a catfish orchestrator, whatever. Silent Bob has advice for the catfish, male or female. Video may contain objectionable language, those easily offended won't like it.

(not sure about other stuff that is on that site, I know on the left of the 'tv' screen if one site playing an episode doesnt work, you switch to another channel on that list on the left, maybe there are other shows than SW on there, just don't get sucked into downloading all that 'you need to update your java BS' you don't just play the video and ignore or close out that stuff) Re Bday: He probably was hoping he would get another vacation or maybe a spa day or country club membership or fishing trip or something that would get him away from all the insanity there. Him sitting on the chair with the burger king crown on, "It's my special day! I'm the king!" Yeah his non- appreciativeness after the scene of the wives going around the table talking about how much they are going to have to put in- it looked like an apple something product, so it wasn't cheap. It was almost like you could tell he was hoping for some other thing and thought he was going to get it. When are we going to see an episode where he does something nice for each of them, not a necklace, not a party, not therapy, not a TLC-invented thing. I know many of ya'll don't like Brady either as I said in the 'who is worse, Brady or Kody', Kody gives me new reasons to appreciate Brady, although maybe if MFW was still on by now I would be ripping on him too. Still ,he seems more laid back, though I still feel bad about the one wife of his who was crying about the ring she got because she felt like it was an obligatory gift and he wasn't making it this special thing like he did for some other wife. Brady seems worse at faking 'everyone is the same, whee!' than Kody is. That part would really suck, the knowing okay, he loves me but let's face it, he's way more into this other person than me, and I'm never going to be them or even like them. That must hurt tons. It was interesting seeing the contrast between that crew and th Browns, wish they could both be on. I guess it depends what one can deal with. Kody seems exhausting beyond words just watching him. I bet though, even the bloom is off the rose with #4 to some degree. Even in a long-term mono relationship, if the man has a mistress long enough, even that gets to feeling routine and blah given enough time, and now they have little kids etc., and it's not just about who is the skinniest or youngest either. I suppose I just like that episode because of what I have come to think of as the 'mafia lunch' between Robin and Christine. The 'oh no honey, it wasn't you I was mad at, it was him' and "oh,, good cause I thought it was meeee, and my momma said it ain't personal girl, yer just the new fish..' (OK I'm paraphrasing). "I wanted to be your friend, but it just.didn't.happen." (scary music, glare in Christine's eyes saying 'yer lucky you're still sucking air sweetie'. All I can think is wow would Christine make a good villain in a movie. Nice *words*, well sorta nice, come out of her mouth but the look in her eyes .I mean, I'm not even after her old man and a semi-tough broad at times and I'm scared to be one state over from her lol, although I have the feeling she wouldn't be nearly as irritated with me, because I wouldn't have acted like the reverse of her tagline which in Robin's case would be 'I wanted the asshat, just not the fam' (someone help me with my kids and where do I put the bills? ok back to making life a honeymoon for me and kody and being slow enough to actually say that out loud on tv)..but as awful as that lunch was, even in it's fakery of 'let's let bygones be bygones' you could totally tell how BS it was, so it was 'rill' by accident. Maybe Christine was hoping that Robin would have said" Hey, I'm sorry we acted like supreme douchbags, when you were pregnant, the wedding dress, all the stupid shit I said, I roally screwed up, and even if you primarily blame him, I was in it with him and I feel like an ass now for it." If she had copped to any of that maybe Christine might have cut her some slack, but when R lapsed into the 'sniffle sniffle you don't like me, my mommy said' and all that poor baby stuff instead of copping to her own role in being totally oblivious to the other wives- it was just more of the same. Prob R and K both think they did nothing wrong and Christine is out of line even as they all but acted like mono people in a whirlwind courtship. You'd think at least one of them would have watched some of the tape and thought oh man, we have to cool it. It seems to be a case of wanting your compound cake and eat it too, in the sense that he wants to be this patriarchal ruler, at the same time trying to make it seem like oh these are modern, educated, strong women who choose this, and they aren't oppressed, everyone is on the same level, I treat everyone the same, etc. Fact is, you don't get to sashay into anything and get to be top dog, modern or not-modern, you have to earn your stripes. If you are perceived as 'the boss' and then seen as favoring the new kid as opposed to those who have seniority, like at a wokplace, and it does seen plygland is a workplace of sorts- yeah you are going to get blowback from the long-term people. The same BS may happen on the compound too but at least they are not going around talking all this crap about oh how modern we are and we're all equal and we weren't forced to be in this, it's a choice etc. Also I would bet on the compound, the men let the women work this crap out without him being the go-between of 'oh you better play nice wiht so and so or else', and that being the case, the new wife has an incentive not to piss off or alienate the existing wives, but get accepted with them not 'just the man'...

j I'm not even totally sure she even knows she is doing it half the time, the passive-aggressiveness wrapped in the 'ohh but look how GOOD I'm being, and helpful, and concerned yadda yadda', the 'childrenization' for lack of a better term- of these women baffles me, the widdle-bitty me talk, the babyish mispronunciations, the constant seeming to look around before giving an opinion, the constant approval-seeking, the wearing of various personalities to please youknowwho, the faking of wanting to be besties..it's all just so weird that it is hard to tell if they are as conniving as some posters make them out to be, or if this is just all they know, being surrounded with this mentality and probably rewarded for it. Therefore, I don't know if I could call it 'mean girl' exactly , it seems actually even younger than the high-school machinations depicted in movies. Again, maybe she felt like this was the best deal she could get, therefore she doesn't know anything else (well besides the short-lived marriage to Meri's brother). So maybe for her it was a pragmatic thing. So when we make observations like 'oh well Janelle doesn't need this or that , that's her personality' maybe it's more that that is all she is USED to and is too proud to beg, so to speak. So it looks better for her to say 'well we're more like friends than anything' because what is she going to say 'yeah he doesn't really have the romance for me, but I just accept it '. Generally people are not going to eat themselves into a real problem like that if they are happy and fulfilled. So I'm not convinced she is satisfied with the way things are and/or have been, but more what I said before- this is what she is used to and doesn't know much else. Don't know if I quite believe that stuff Janelle said about 'this happened with me, it happened with Christine, but people didn't see that on TV and they are being unfair to Robin blah blah'. That kind of statement does seem like it was tv-created spin as well as similar to the whole Kody telling Christine on their therapy vacation, 'you need to accept and be happy with the family the way it is and get with the robin program' with the unsaid but implied 'or else I'm going to keep giving you the cold shoulder'. Just watched this one (you can can watch free, don't install any popups or messages just click the x to close it) and was thinking wow and I thought things were bad then.... http://newepisodes.me/watch-sister-wives-online-free/34045/season-3-episode-3-brutal-honesty

Scene: Kody holds court, taking stock of the latest chaos Kody: Ok everybody, I see you have all your festive king kody hats on. So I thought I'd go over a few umm bullet points about ..things. Meri: we already did the obligatory twitter stuff Christine: "we are faaamileee, I got all my sistas with me, yeah.." Janelle: (blank stare) Robin: Oh Christine, that's so awesome Kody: OK social media, check. Um so back to the episode thing. You know the one I talked about that you guys weren't totally crazy about? Yeah well that's on the back burner , although they still think a 'Meri repentance/worthiness cleansing' thing would sell. Meri: I'm not doing that, Kody. Kody: Meri, look, I don't care about the catfish thing, but it sells.. Christine: No, it's played out, Kody- it was played out by the time it got stuck onto whatever episde it did last season. Robin: Wull, I tried to talk her into doin' it, Kody, remember? (I want Brownie points!) Kody: well whatever, anyway that's off the table, because ..check this out, I'm going to spiritually marry all of you again in a big spiritual group vow renewal thingee? Christine: Yay! Whee! another celebration, I can't wait! Oh this is going to be sooo much fun! Truly and Sol can be the flower girl and ring bearers.. Meri: cool your jets Christine, there's got to be a catch somewhere Janelle: I'm getting deja vu. Didn't we already do something like that? Robin: but we're already married. I mean like, all of us. Kody: It's TV babe, you can never have too many celebrations. Check this out, there's this lady, she runs a tropical fish store, AND she's like a new age marriage minister something, she's totally cool with us. Oh and TLC is going to pay her of course. Ok but here's the part that is really going to be great! Now don't freak out because this is just pretend ok? There's going to be someone there who we act like we know somehow, but is really an actress*, and they are going to make it look like she's gonna be #5 ! It's a cliffhanger for next season. I mean, nothing is going to happen, but we're going to make it look like something is going to happen. Get it? So we're going to basically catfish this person ! isn't that funny as hell? Christine (hoping it's actually a kody-pretending-it's-a-fake-idea-but-really-it's-going-to-turn-out-to-happen-for-rill-because-revenge-on-robin) OMG That's great! That will totally bring ratings Kody. (switches to soft, creepy voice) How did we manage to marry such a genius? Meri quotes Alanis Morisettte: "It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take..isn't it ironic?" Robin: This seems like we're makin' a joke out of our beliefs, I don't know if I like this iduh Janelle (digging in purse looking for gum) I wonder how much time we will have to put in as far as getting clothes and making all the arrangements. Meri: So is this someone we actually do know, Kody (tone of suspicion) Robin: Meri I don' theeenk that's 'propriate quesshion for you to ask considering..blah blah ( no content...noises, mispronounced words..sniffling ..hair fluffing, clothes fussing) Meri, Janelle and Christine in chorus: Shut up Robin! *feel free to speculate or come up with suggestions for #5 cliffhanger

Robin: Meriiii, you gotta stop readin that (batman blog), it's snot ril. Meri: I know, but it's teaching me something, you know that thing about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Robin: Wull, don't base your life off a lady gaga quote. Meri: She didn't make that up, I saw it on pinterest. It's someone else, can't remember the name. Christine: So, do you think we did good on the tell all? The ratings were up! Yay! Janelle (eyeroll) whose turn is it anyway? I forgot. Meri: Oh I think it's Christine's night. Christine: I already did the the faaaamily dinner this week, remember? Janelle: I meant with kody, not dinner. (no one answers, awkward silence) Meri: well who had him last night? Christine: well it's not mine, I found him asleep on the sofa this morning, playstation controller in hand. Janelle: So Meri, why don't we go get lunch today? We were supposed to do that. Meri: Oh I know but I have this crafting lady coming over. (Janelle sighs, realizing she has been blown off once more) Robin: is the crafting lady 'safe'? (plays with hair obsessively) Meri: No one is safe now. Janelle get your battle armor. Janelle: Oh God, don't keep saying that. Christine: Haven't we learned anything from the self-esteem seminar? Remember how we all played with marbles and we learned we had to have our own lives, our own interests? Meri: making crafts is an interest. Christine: I meant like something to expand our minds. I don't know, like reading or theater or ...something besides thinking up soundbytes for the show. Kody bounds in : Guess what Team Browns? We're going to have another party! (everyone groans) Meri:TV right? Kody: Well yeah, of course. I went to this super-boring meeting today and it turns out we have to go back to being more fun. Last season was just so.... Christine: depressing? Kody: well, we just have to..... Meri: so what is the theme this time? Kody: well I thought we could incorporate clips of our most embarassing and worst moments! people would love that! (silence again) Janelle: Well I think that's a terrible idea. Kody: It's not really my idea, anyway the kids say we should, they're all on board already. Meri: Oh I doubt that. Christine: I'll do it, I mean, I'm flawed, I've admitted as much on national TV. (Robin eye rolls at this) Christine: what? I saw that Robin. Robin: Wulll it just sorta seemed like you were doing that to get attention. Like, when people ask does this dress make me look fat because they want compliments. Janelle: I have to go do some bookkeeping or something.(muttering under her breath) I just can't. (no one says goodbye or acknowledges her leaving) Christine: Nooo, as usual you have it all wrong. I was trying to take some of the focus off Meri feeling all bad Meri: I actually don't feel that bad, Christine. Kody thinks it was all BS , therefore I think it was all BS. Christine: Okie-dokey, whatEVER. I'm going to take truly to the pool. Robin: Oh do you want to go with my nanny/sister and Sol? I think I hear him waking up, I'll go get him. Christine waits for her to go upstairs, then says to Meri and Kody "tell her i'll see them there! I have to make sure I'm not burning something at home" and leaves, vaguely insulted she is being lumped in with 'the help'. Robin comes back, sees Christine has left and sighs. Meri and Kody still discussing how batman-gate was played out on tv. Kody: (makes confused, trying to be epic serious face) what was I going to say? What I really thought? There was no way for me to win. I had to make it not a big dill Robin: but it is a big dill to Meri Meri: No it really isn't (thinking shut up robin with your fake-supportive bs) Kody to Robin: See? everything is cool, right? Robin: I don't unnerstand. (on the verge of tears, says to nanny) Merwyn, here take Sol to the pool please. Kody: well I gotta go, there's something I have to take care of that is gonna be big for next season! This is going to be something totally unexpected! I can't wait, Man am I gonna drop a bomb on you guys! (as he runs out the door ) Meri to Robin: I'm telling you, it's #5 Robin: don't be silly, he already said he's done, besides, I'm pregnant. (more hair fluffing) Meri: (laughs) how soon we forget. He's never going to 'be done'. (stay tuned for more misadventures of this 4 ring circus )

I thought this as well, the 'it's better to be respected than loved' thing. As fake as that (the whole thing, basically) was, I've seen worse long ago on soaps. It's not just Janelle though, they are all full of it and spinning and reciting lines, someone else posted something about what was said vs what was meant or not said. Sure Tamren can ask more probing questions but then they can always up their BS game and not answer them , make stuff up (I mean, in their religion they might call it 'lying for the lord' just like 'bleeding the beast' is ok, the whole concept of 'this over here counts, but this over here doesn't 'count'). I don't even think they believe they are lying or embellishing or leaving stuff out etc because they can always qualify it or say "well I meant it this way" or otherwise bs it. The soft voice she slips into is creepy not feminine and sweet which I suppose she is going for. #4 I believe is different with the group of them or for the camera than with kodster alone. I think she fakes all this 'oh, Im so worried, sad face, fake cry, etc' but is a lot colder fish than she holds herself out to be. Like when she came out with "meri hasn't been herself for a long time." Meri had a look on her face like thanks for throwing me under the bus, because #4's statement is pretty much making a pseudo-safe comment which sinisterly implies I know more than I'm telling but I'm going to use a covert (yet obvious) vague statement to cover my ass, while pretending to cover yours. That's the kind of stealth passive-aggressiveness we all hate. But it suggests , there's more there than I'm saying,then and contradicts the bs 'girl-code' used wrongly- Oh I won't tell what you are jealous of, that's against girl code, see how cool I am in protecting you. Or could it be that no one wants to admit the thing that makes them jealous- why would they do that, that would be arming the others right? I'm doing you such a favor not letting everyone on TV know how bad you suffer being jealous of me. Isn't that big of me? I'm jus that good of a person. You're welcome. Does anyone see how douchbag that is? So I have so much 'girl code' but I'll come up with a statement like 'hasn't been herself for a long time' which is vague and mysterious, implies knowing more than she's telling, and also makes it seem like it has been going on a long time. She could have just said "you need to work this out with her, I hope she sticks around and stays my friend. " Use 'I' statements #4, stop it with the widdle-babby so -vulnrubble pleading tone, it's so gross. Especially in contrast to your meta-talk passive-aggressiveness. Maybe it works on brainwashing the kodster but it won't work on the women. Aren't all of thee people way too old to be playing these high school games? If the two of them didn't have the others around so they could play the romantic but oppressed lovers... 'it shoulda been us from day one' (carries the implication 'but we'll put up with the others, we'll try to be sorta fair and nice to them'. if they didn't have the others, I think they would quickly grow bored of each other. I think #4 thrives off the drama and the fact that she has only 5 years of baggage with king kod and the fact the other wives have more problems, resentments, umm history with him. He by turn lets her play her 'oh thank you for rescuing me from the abandoned trailer park of fundie hell and shitty jobs...oh kody, you picked up this broken bird, oh your love has healed me, blah blah, pass the airplane barf bag. He didn't really, TLC did, but she will allow his ego to 'fill' like he's the white knight. But both of them need the others to secretly enjoy their BS Tristan and Isolde fantasies. Neither #4 or K are that interesting or have that much substance- sure making out is great, and being all romantic and silly is great but you have to have more than that long term. What if someone is just not that bright or doesn't have anything to talk about? What if #4 plays the wounded baby bird and just doesn't act like a grown woman when her own children get older and need a strong role-model, not the princess in the tower, eternal princess, every-minute -is-some-big-emotional-moment? what if that whiny, pleading, teenager, plaintive 'wullllll' tone gets freaking annoying? Or is being 'strong' reserved only for the others? how shitty is that for them? Hey you guys get to be the strong, self-controlled, mature grown-ups! Isn't that cool?! #sucks The only part that seemed to ring true in all of that was when she said she needs to figure out who she is. Slipping into these alter-egos, the wacky-fun cheerleader, the icky-sweet , trying to make an attempt at oh look at me trying to be all soft and sexy, it doesn't come off that way. It comes off either creepy or awkward, and not awkward in the way she used to be , sorta geeky-cute but like stalkery, evil nurse or 'single white female' or something. She doesn't need any extra 'disturbed'. And yeah when they showed the repeat of her with the salmon colored shirt on, hair in ponytail , little to no makeup, I much prefer that look on her, it takes years off her and is flattering-than the 'done-up' look and hair. I've always said on her, less is more, she's one of the few people that can get away with just doing the minumum makeup wise and still have that fresh-faced country girl look. Maybe it's a blonde thing, I don't know. It even hurts to watch her trying to morph herself into a different personality to please king kod when it looks like he could give a crap , (hey look at me in one of don johnsons miami vice suits I picked up !). I truly (no pun intended) hope she does develop her own personality, rather than relying on compound manipulation tricks, even if king kod doesnt always like it. Guess what, he doesnt have to always like it! is it too hard to imagine him not liking the real you than the silly compound mean girl/cheerleader/insert other fake identities? I mean, he still might be a dick either way, but you would at least get to be you rather than pretending..

What I'm trying to figure out is, when people say "well people in the bible did it" are they saying, well, if people in the bible did it, they did it because it was a religious thing to do, or are they saying it in the sense of 'well in 2015 people had cell phones and cable tv' , like they just happened to be doing it. I don 't know when it started, how it started, why it started etc. Never even heard of this being a thing in western countries till I was past 30. Living in the bay area, heard of a lot of other things, but there's not really marches and stuff like that for plyg Utah-ites out here. Whenever I hear the "well the book doesn't say not to" it makes me think of all the ways I could run with that one. Well, in the DMV code it doesn't say I can't do X. Or someday in a dystopian future when we've ruined everything and someone stumbles upon a computer that still works where someone has some reality show files on it, people will watch it and say, 'well people on TV did it, so it must be a good thing and be ok' and competing religions will be born from various reality shows. "well they did that on plyg little people mafia pit bull rescuers, so it must be the way to go." "well they didn't say in the book of reality shows that we couldn't do X, so we definitely should.."

What you posted is usually the case, but you'd be surprised Razz- some even prefer older, believe it or not. Usually it's the case where you see the hot young model chick with some older dude but the younger guy after older has his own reasons, and one of them can be that they like the idea that she has some life experience as well as less drama and unpredictability as the 'ingenue'. Sure, it isn't common, but it does happen. That said, Meri doesn't seem to fit the sophisticated, knows-what-she-wants, self-possessed older woman type.

I don't know if this is BS or not but I have heard of something called a 'sealing cancelation' , which I think is a plyg scenario, the first or whoever is getting unziplocked needs to sign off on. Maybe it's like a Mormon version of an annulment except I think it only applies in the afterlife-y sorta way, whereas I believe an annulment applies in this real, still gotta take out the garbage type of way, I'm pretty sure you ca get an annulment AND a divorce, I've seen it in a Catholic family I know,though Im not sure how they even got that being that they were married like 10 years or so and had two kids, but whatever (cousin Vinny pulled some strings). Though I'm still not sure what the point of it is, like religiously. When it starts getting into the religious stuff about 'oh now this is erased as if it never happened, or this marriage is for real life but not the afterlife etc etc, it kind of makes my head spin, like wait what? I suppose one has to really believe in whatever script is attached to these things or else one doesn't get bothering with it.

especially theory #2- we only know what is 'out there' but Maddie has likely talked to Caleb a whole lot . Hence he may have his own feelings about the whole deal, trying to be polite and respectful because after all, it is her father- but he's not giving off the vibe that the are going to be hanging out, even if they weren't moving away. The way the camera kept panning from Caleb "I love your daughter and want to marry her" all serious and then Kody with this s*t-eating grin and rubbing his hands together, he sort of looked all mwahaha. So anyway was that the end of this season and then the same old Tamren interview stuff Sunday with everyone sitting on more sofas in another pretend living room with possible scary make-up like the other ones?

She's legally free already except for whatever financial stuff she might be still entangled with. And she's got this cute guy like vacuming this shelf at her place. The twitter link isnt working so here's a pic. Jealous much? yeah! It's great to see she isn't crying in the corner worried about What Everybody Thinks. Good for you Meri for not giving an F. Oh and see if that elf has a brother to install some cameras/security to keep creepers away.

I too have thought of the parallels between those two, despite the fact that one has an empire and one has 1/4 of a cul de sac, man and check. The two of them should have lunch, maybe Vicki could give Meri a job and they could trade stories.

This is exactly the creepy sibling dynamic/attitude I was talking about 'she did something worse than me, so why do I only get 2 cookies and not three, I'm not the one in trouble yadda yadda..' It might not be "the best thing that ever happened" because again, it upsets the whole family dynamic. As other posters have stated as well, I also am not sure whether these women or any women in these arrangements have each other's backs or it is every woman for herself type thing, no matter how many little facebook poster platitudes they put up trying to make it sound like 'I've got your back', how can any of them be sure it is real or just to keep up appearances, and eve then, would they pretend to be more ok or less ok depending on ratings or the direction of the producers? Man that would be so creepy. Likely Janelle and Christine are hedging their bets, trying to balance being superficially supportive outwardly, but also seeing how it affects them and carefully watching king kod to see if being pissed at Meri somehow gets them something. How can any of them trust each other if they all have separate interests, past/present resentments and so on?

The way you tell it, it sounds like either way, love or religion, or both, you lose no matter what. Not that I'm saying this isn't accurate, only that if you do love the man, you're going to hurt, and if you don't, that probably sucks as well, whether in either scenario he loves you. Hence we get back to the multiply/divide quandry-which sure looks like he 'gets' to love everyone and you 'have' to 'love' i.e. put up with everyone (else). This reminds me of Christine saying she wanted to be 'third' (maybe in her mind, she meant 'last'?) because she said it was the 'easiest', which to me sounds like she didn't care about being 'boss lady' , and didn't want to be the first 'added' to the mix, aka second. It's almost as though she thought of the first two as manager and assistant manager, and though she was getting 'paid' the same, she didn't want the role or responsibility of those other two positions even though she had the very tough job of being the stay-home mom to all those kids for years. Aside from all the emotional and jealousy stuff, now that there are four, it sort of shifts everyone's position and I can see how she might have felt something akin to the employee that has to train the next person for a job they used to have. I kind of got the vibe as the show went on that Meri was sort of like the ex-wife that is still friends with benefits,like there was still some love, but basically bored with each other- Janelle was like the ex-gf, maybe with benefits if they got drunk randomly, and Christine was like the on/off again gf depending on whether they were liking or hating each other that week. I hope Mariah stands by her mom through all this, it was so weird at that table scene where Meri was eating at a separate table and kody gave that 'thanks everyone for coming' speech to family. If he meant that towards the kids' gf and bf, wouldn't he just say it directly to them? Oh well, what isn't weird when it comes to them? Maybe they can find yet another storyline from Big Love to copy -the adoption/divorce was a BL story, there was the Margene almost having a thing with the goji juice guy, there was the Nikki 'my creepy ex on the compound' story, the will Barb have a ok medical test story, the I lost my job because I was outed as a plyg story, the adding a new wife that one of the wives is friends with, etc etc).

It's probably even bigger than just 'Sam', on some level whether or not he was real is irrelevant in the sense that maybe she had started to value herself, maybe it had been that long since she felt good about herself, that someone else had told her she was worth something, that someone else had wanted to spend time with her, messaging or otherwise, that she had started to think about her own self-worth differently. I hope that part did stick, as it is useful and valuable separately from 'was Sam real or not', her own re-evaluation of herself, and feeling worthy. In that sense, it is better that the catfish was not real, as it makes her having to keep those good feelings she had about herself independent of someone else 'bestowing' them. The understanding of what 'loyalty' has more than one meaning. I felt like kody had left her in the cold and was 'disloyal' emotionally not only to Meri but the original 3 where his priorities were during the courtship period, whether or not the 0-3 were able to get their heads around this because of the brainwashing of 'I signed up for this' story- The fact they signed up for it doesn't negate one's right to be heard,to be loved, to not be ignored or put down or have one's voice silenced with the ' you wanted this, you knew what you were getting into'. That was probably a huge difficulty with the O-3 as they had a hard time separating these two things. The 0-3 made a huge leap being 'loyal' to him but did he do the same? Obviously this is more than just about 'did she screw around or not, was Sam real or not?' Even if she had, that doesn't take away from his emotional disloyalty to the rest.

It's funny how because they don't dress as the flds people, some of us may have thought oh these women knew what this was all about, knew about other kinds of families, or were even old enough to know what the hell they wanted. From how we saw them at the beginning of the show till now, it does sort of look like there isn't an easy way to deal with the jealousy, the equal treatment and time (or lack thereof) and how even though the man is outnumbered, that doesn't guarantee the women necessarily band together- in fact, I noticed early on, there seemed to be this weird parent/child dynamic going on where the women sort of play up to and look for approval from the man like a child would,sulk and cry when it doesn't work and compete almost like siblings would for attention and equality of time w them and their kids, gifts 'she got this kind of design for her necklace, I like hers better!' But it appears it is all left to the man to solve this, as if he is some kind of beneficent king , doling out little scraps of pats on the head, an odd compliment here and there, or worse, what was discussed in the catfish thing, giving or withholding affection..'well you've been a good girl this week, so maybe I can find some time for you (or give you some, etc).' Hence, to some degree, they have all been catfished. I'm loathe to say it, but even robin, whom I believe on some early show said something like "I like to see him happy with the other wives and treating them well, it means he will treat me well'. Not sure if this is always the case, but I think at some point she said something like that, someone correct me if Im thinking of someone else. But let's just say hypothetically, even if she talks like a 2nd grader and has other annoying traits, that she thought kody really did love the others, that she did at some point think and want him to treat them all equally, even if it was somewhat self-motivated in the sense of if he treats them well, he will treat her well and everyone is happy (well happy enough I suppose). Well she didn't get that, did she? Because he didn't, because he continues to blow off Christine eve in therapy, he didn't acknowledge Meri when they were in Mexico when she was feeling left out and neglected- because Janelle at some point even said something like "I thought I was ok with it, but I've had problems with this too, I care more than I thought I did' I bet that Robin lost out on being buddies with them, doesn't feel great about asking them for help with the kids, that it isn't the perfect plyg scenario for her and probably always has some doubts when any of them are nice to her, that they are doing it because kody told them to or because (some) of their kids are related, and not because they sincerely want to have a sw relationship with her- that is not the same as a real, close, trusting friendship. But does kody care that yes, it isn't ALL on the women to just 'get over it' or 'deal with it' or 'fake it till ya make it' ? Kinda seems like he doesn't care, as long as HE's happy. So in that sense, robin doesn't 'win'- she isn't in an actual mono marriage with him whether or not he is intimate with them, and she has to deal with them probably resenting her.

It's interesting to see the reasons why people either sympathize, or partly at least, or don't for Meri. How some see it as wrong in the overall cosmic sense no matter what, some don't see it as wrong at all and a whole lot of middle-ground. I think of how badly Meri must have felt to even get taken in by this to begin with. Maybe this whole plyg thing only works if you actually do love everyone equally and treat everyone great and are transparent (is that even possible?) or you don't really love any of them, thus it's more 'fair' because everyone gets the same minimal blah treatment. I wonder if at times, it even sucks for the man though have to say, it is really hard watching kody try to play the hurt, scorned spouse after all the giddy 'whee!' through the robin courtship, while the other three were either pregnant, eating themselves to death trying to cope and pretend they don't care, or saying 'hey, I know I signed on to this', which can be put other ways, like' I agreed to put up with this for YOU, but I still feel left behind and not as special, not as loved and like your head and heart are somewhere else', while kody and robin are in some air-tram and kody is saying douchebag things like 'see check out the lions, that one's really got some game huh babe? Being just like beasts of the field is awesome!' and romping on the beach while through the other side of his mouth saying ' thinking of you with some other guy? that's just vulgar, can't do it'. Picks out the wedding dress for one, melts down the wedding ring for the other. Horrible.