pheebs

Hey guys! I'm in Geist, Indianapolis. Would y'all like a pic of Ambuh's house and me cheesing out in front of it? We know she's not at home...

It really is a thing...slightly off topic, but I do Animal Control. The things I've seen when I'm chasing a feral cat around someone's house! On time, the cat zipped under their bed and the guy pulled it from the wall, only to have his rubber half-woman thing fall out ( front and back, in case you're wondering ) and it fell on my foot. Then I caught the cat. And then took many showers. Back on topic...Mack's wedding dress looks like it's made of fungus.

Ah Hah! So that's who Little Edie is! I just dawned on me...If there's reincarnation, Ambuh's cousin is Little Edie Bouvier, she's Marilyn Monroe and Matt is JFK? *puts on tinfoil hat*

Re: That driving scene near the end of the episode...When did Uppa-Class Ambuh get Little Edie for her new Rent-a-Friend?

I know, originally I said Ambuh was going full-on Ethel Mertz, but now I'm leaning towards Fred!

Sweet baby jeebus - was there a competition to be the most ridiculous looking person on television tonight? See: DebzOG's expounding on not looking stupid while wearing a spangled newsboy cap some 85-year-old lady sitting on the penny slots at some dumpy casino would be wearing. Cue Alanis Morrisette. Ambuh's going full-on Ethel Mertz with that whatever it was wrapped around her head. Farrah - that "dumpsuit" looked a hot mess. Your ass is waaay too big for that. Maci's ratty, off kilter bun resembled a dog poop plopped on her head. Also, she was channeling the worst waitress at the worst truck stop in Abalama. Alabama. Mack's micro-expression that flickered across her face as Rhiiine proclaimed his drug-free status was priceless. Homegirl has no pokerface whatso evs. Cate is a ratchet mess. Love the polyester poncho. Again with the senior-citizen casino gear. Why, why, why... do they all look ready for support hose and those fold-up plastic rain scarves? Wasn't DebzOG's new bestie "Matt," a hoot? He was really throwing some side-eye shade!

DebzOG has Bells Palsy or just botox poisoning? Her mouth was droopy-weird. Tyler and Catelynn are terrible actors. His opining on wanting to be surprised was just agonizing to watch - "Hey, can you just get pregnant without me touching you? K thnx bye." Maci has the most awful skin - does drinking make your skin bad? T-Money's beard is heinous, as well as his stupid purple and gold pocket TTM shirt. Bonding time with Boogerbutt includes life-long skin damage. Anybody ever heard of sunscreen? Speaking of bonding time - just how late does she sleep? The sun was way overhead...past 1:00 pm or what? Ryan with glasses kinda looks hot. (What has gotten into me?) In the car, with sunglasses on, Mack looked almost under 30. But she's always got this "cat that just ate the canary," face when she's sitting and speaking on camera. Such a sanctimonious bitch... Why in Dog's name do I like Farrah now? She actually smiles and is chill and cheerful. It's like bizzaro world. This season is playing out to be dullsville, y,all!

I had an older lady come up to me at the mall and ask me if she could take my baby off to show someone. I can't say I wasn't rude ( I was! ) but, Hell To The NO. ( By the way, this would be the same Mall that Chel's would shop ) I live in South Dakota, too!

Fuck Marry Kill - the hetero-normative edition: Fuck - Simon Marry - Cole Kill - The Spotted Oaf

Huge upper arms, thin lower arms!

Cate's getting those weird old lady ham-hock arms. Tyler's looking a little doughy himself...Ahh, the munchies. Mackenzie and her chins are righteously angry, y'all! St. Maci never seems to get her dishes done. How long were those muffin pans in the sink, geesh! Dr. Dickhead and DebzOG are seriously fucking psycho. I'm not sure how much of those two I'll be able to take. I mean, they're making me feel sympathy for and like Farrah? Amber, Matt...there are no words. I feel like I have fleas crawling on me every time those two are on my screen. Ancillary characters? Sophia is so over FroCo - That cross-eyed stare was everything. Everybody's "friends" are colossal dopes. Butch is a shitty actor. The Horse Guy sure was glad to get paid in cash. Gary is, as always, the voice of reason - he gives me hope. Voice of Roxanne - "I cannnntttt with these guyyyyyyssss..."

Does anyone have any links or the content posted of this "Cyst and Deceased" letter? Enquiring minds want to know!

Where was the Great Spotted Oaf for the "happy bye-bye" shot?" How in in the name of all is holy, can Roxanne make her left eyebrow go up so high? John Belushi would've been jealous... Karl and her many chins were acting quite the bitch on this edition. Miss Brianna of the same wildly overdone disco glitter eyeshadow that everyone was wearing (seriously, was that the only one the makeup artists had?) You are a dolt. Also, Brittany? GET A GOOD BRA. You're far too young to have 12 inches of cleavage. Shudder. Jermy? Leah? Snooze. Chelsea and St. Maci of Budweiser? What was the point of that? Teen Mom 2 Reunions -overpromising, underdelivering. I actually dozed off during this one. That is all.

About vaginal cosmetic surgery...Everybody watches too much pr0n. Just sayin'.

Kwhale's face looks especially goofy. Puffy. Acne. And that Simpson-esque upper lip has gotten even larger since then? Yeesh. Her ripped jeans are baaack, y'all! Leah looks so 45-year-old-divorcee in her oh-so-fetching polyester pantsuit, glitter eyeshadow, home shopping network cubic zirconia bracelet, et al. Chelsea's dressed tastefully, but please back away from the color-not-from-nature hair extensions and using a spatula to apply your makeup. Looks like she shared that disco glitter eyeshadow with Leah. Even with the Botox (you know she does it - note the immobility of her forehead) and everything else she does with her face, why does she look so old? Why do they all look so old? Why? Janelle's keepin' it klassy with her Chola "Clueless" - circa 1994 outfit, complete with devil-like forehead cornrows. Aww, her scene got left on the cutting room floor. Where do start with this one? Forget about TMOG Maci, we have just crowned a new "Queen of the Fivehead," Miss Great Dismal Swamp, JanYelle Eason! The Great Spotted Oaf wants to fill the studio with uppercuts and leaves in a huff of methane! Hey, he's got things to do! Like lurking under bridges, scaring billy goats or something? GO DORIS GO! It can't be said enough...Barb is the voice of reason. Annnd...Dr Drew is the suckage. We have to wait for the Coven until next week? Must need time to get the cauldron going, eh?

It was so very sweet, wasn't it? But...Am I - I mean my friend - evil for thinking Cole's ass looked pretty nice in those khaki Levis? She really wants to know...

Wait - you mean the "flat tummy tea" is not the shit? No, it just gives you the shits. It's just senna laxatives, isn't it? On the otherhand, it might work for Karl. She's full of shit.

Jesus God Leah - you be looking like you been rode hard and put up wet. Love the tats, gnarly toes and another sighting of the trashtastic clip-on extensions. Also, she seemed kinda high - just a touch too mellow. Oh Karl, you whelped one ugly puppy. Lincoln is a darling, though. Brianna, you passive aggressive hunk of silicone. You look like you're smuggling giant squash in your shorts. Brittany - please put on pants. The nasty faded oversize T-shirt is just gross. Roxanne "Just wants to be civil," as she's jumping over tables and screaming "Bitch" at Devoid. Okey-dokey. Chelsea and Cole's "reception" was nice, low-key and classy. Watson is a Kewpie doll come to life. And just as cute - Oh, those cheeks! That smile! And now... Welcome to the most absolutely craptastic wedding of them all. Jenyell and the Spotted Oaf manage to get hitched, y'all! Poor Maryssa, she had a look on her face as she was lugging Eggsley down the aisle and scattering rose petals all like, "Oh shit, more crap to clean up later." Bless her heart, not one smile. She just seems, so...weary. Except for The Roll, Jace, and Maryssa, I despise everything and everyone in her sphere. Even the rocket- headed dullard known as Eggsley. I know, I'm going to hell.

I'll take Kentaro's top and coat and wear it with Kenya's trousers. I'd weat Brandon's coat with jeans and a cable knit fishermans sweater. Ayana's had a 20's gangster meets 80's video background girl look. Not great, but at least different? Margarita's was so, so, awful. Hideous. And getting docked for using fur? Not surprised when fur is so politically polarizing. I wouldn't have even consider it, even if the show has no problem with leather. I've always explained it thus to the truly vegan crowd - the reason most people don't have trouble with leather is: We have a dairy industry. Half the cattle born are male, and of no use for the dairy industry. So therefore, we have a beef industry. The hides of beef cattle are a by-product of the beef industry. So, not many dairy or beef consumers have a problem with using the by-products of these two lucrative industries. So, I tell my vegan friends, (who naturally oppose these industries) that only through total veganism will stop the use of leather. But most people oppose fur because it's not the thrifty use of a by-product. It's killing for one part of an animal, wasteful, and often cruel,therefore most people find it distasteful.

I'm pretty sure everyone started to call her "Endtable," even before she was born because of Jenyell's attitude towards her offspring. ( i.e. possessions. ) But now the new moniker makes more sense. Me too, I'll go with that. New Conspiracy theory...is this Eggsley's real grandfather? Hmmmm.

I've noticed that, too. She's always staring off in the middle distance, like it's very, very hard for her to string together a coherent thought. I really think she's just too stupid to make eye contact. Really, really stupid.

When Karl was driving to her Drs. appointment - both hands were off the steering wheel like 90% of the time. What was she steering with? Her dick? Also, Karl has a "friend" with a "normal" name. Rachel. Mr. Pheebs (who does not watch the show) popped his head in the room, pointed at and remarked about Roxanne, "She looks like she eats spiders." lol Watson is the cutest little nugget. Did everyone notice the brand new sod that Jenyell and UBT were laying? I told y'all the last batch we saw was already dead. Losers.

When I first mentioned Brandon's "Asassin's Creed" bleached out cosplay - I was thinking about the first iteration of the game. In that game, the hood always looked and moved like it was made of muslin. Just my 2 cents...

To paraphrase Roy Scheider - "We're gonna need a bigger bow..."

https://goo.gl/images/DNPRMF Chinelle can only dream of being this cool...