pheebs

Just make sure to keep the Endtable's head out of the shot...and Maryssa looks like she's desperately trying to grab an Uber.

Good god, Brandon - that shizz is straight up "Assasin's Creed" bleached-out cosplay. So very over it. Kenya's dress was so prettily tailored, and the color was gorgeous. Her styling read a little too matchy-matchy for me, though. Margarita's dress so much better without the gold. I wish she would have just went with that. I loved loved loved Ayana's top ( I had one a lot like that in the 80's ) and trousers, but the overskirt/pinafore/ partial bib overalls, not so much. Kentaro? Aesthitician's smock and her hairnet fell off. Suddenly, I want a facial.

Late 70's here. I always tell the "youngins" the reason there's so many laws, consequences, and ramifications is because of all the shit we pulled. Drinking age? 18. Life-altering STDs? Non existant. We had "the pill." Drugs? Everywhere. Disco? Definitely. Edited to add - Also, no cell phones, social media or photos to record all the insanity! If "they" didn't see it - it didn't happen! Back on topic - Janelle sucks.

Things I learned during this lackluster episode... Leah. Your Walmart acrylic yarn hair extensions are dreadful. Loved the view of the metal clipons - Humidity is not your friend. Janelle yellsplaining that Pediatricians are not qualified to prescribe medications. Karl is puffy. God will never let the Coven catch a break. Chelsea chews spearmint gum. Yawn.

When UBT was putting on his "lying glasses" and icily deflecting, I watched Maryssa's face. Thousand yard stare. Girlfriend knows the score. And it's not good. Meanwhile, Endtable is as engaged and aware as a, well, endtable. Jace now lets his feelings known - just remember to say "jk." J' approuve. Hearing the Roll screaming in frustrated hunger makes me stabby. Seriously.

Wow - Janelle really thinks those very typical looking wedding dresses are "out of the box." Of course they are, idiot. They're on hangers. 200 invited to the Swamp Nuptials? We saw the footage. It looked like 20 people showed up.

ClaireHair says that the sew-off to the death with her womb-mate will be "a torturesome feeling." Much like your continued presence on our screens. Kenya's eyerolls are everything...

Most likely, hit by a car or picked off by a predator (the Pom, that is.) I've seen with my own eyes, owls trying to snatch up small dogs. Not to mention foxes or coyotes. The black and white pit either got hit by a car, picked up by Animal Control and conveniently "forgotten" to be found at the local pound, or a nearby landowner shot it when the dog was on his "Land." Sigh. Lovesnark - are you familiar with Animal Rescue? You sound like you've been there....

Double post

Leah's attempt at public speaking was about as tediously cringeworthy as the mandatory Speech unit speeches in Middle School. The awkard posture, jumbled thoughts and overall incoheracy was painful to watch. Audience was totally tuned out. Chelsea's family vacay was sweet and totally affordable ( flights from Sioux Falls to Tampa are like $159.00 round trip )and age appropriate. Watson was soaking in all the new sensory input like a lttle sponge. And how delighted was Aubree! Endtable's mutated head was in rare form tonight! I used to think she had a bad side ( the left,) but it's all bad and getting worse. She never seems active or interested in anything. Always with the bottle/pacifier shoved in her mouth. And you know the rest of the time she's in a babyseat, staring at the TV. And I'm sorry Barb. Just give up. Ever heard of the "Grey Rock" method of dealing with narcissistic people. Look into it sweetie, it will make all the difference. Lincoln is everything. I want that kid to have his own show where he justs explains every to thing to us. I could listen to him all day! I know no one had any type of control over this whatsoever, but its so nice when da babies pop out nice and clean and not covered with that cottage cheese goop. Do not, I repeat do not, let UBT near machetes. *shudders* And since it can't be said enough enough - Fuck you Janelle.

Did anyone notice the dead sod? I sure did!

She looks like she's about 4 - 5 months along. Yikes.

Guide to remembering Buitendorps - Claire has hair - Shawn's mowed like a lawn.

Random thoughts - Leah's sister Victoria is on the pillses, for sure. Slurred speech, odd looking pupils, and itching. Opiates? Brittany really looks like Roxanne without makeup and her hair up. Even their mannerisms are the same. We heard Cole's non-squeaky voice when he half-whispered, "I got a lotta concerns." He sounds so much hotter when he drops it a couple of octaves. We got a nice long shot of Eggsleys warped head in the minivan. Ugg, Jenelle. "Did you want to come to the swamp do you love it here you're not scared of UBT are you glad I won do you want to go on vacation do you like video games, etc etc... Objection! Leading the witness! Karl's feeding the kids "Uncrustables." How lazy is that?

Quote of the Night - Karl. "Well, I'll need the D first..." Mmmhmm. Leah sure has a "type," doesn't she? Watson is such an animated, joyful little guy. What a smile! And what a lovely round head! Contrast that with Endtable's rather dull expression and in one fleeting shot, a very evident conehead. It seems to be worse on the left side. She doesn't look healthy. Briana...you are such a black hole of suck. Speaking of suck - Juhnelle. She is the worst. Just a vile being.

Okay - now it's official. Claire is the absolute worst. "I'm not going to...grovel...and say, "Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou, you know, I'll do better next week. I don't believe I deserved to be there in the first place." Wanker.

Endtable is not a pretty baby. Why do her legs always look so oddly bent? Malnutrition?

Forgive me, I just woke up. I read this as "Dramastic Herpes." 'Nuff said.

More like a John Waters movie....Starring Auntie Pigtails as Cuddles Kovinsky. Also, what was Roxanne wearing at the Shower? Was she giving mani-pedis? It looked like an Aesthetician's smock. Uber-creepy moment of the week, swamp-style...UBT brushing Janelle's hair for her. I half expected him to wrap a piano wire around her neck.

Uncle Bad Touch. I guess one of his online "handles," is "UncleDave," and he's also called "Unclel ID Channel" as well!

UBT is seriously coked up. The manic, furious, flailing "working," like a hamster in a wheel - "They'res only one person that can do this! Me! They'res only one day and one time it can be done! Thats right motherf**cking NOW! That scene gave me chills. Oh - By the way, you keep scraping at that subpar topsoil all you want. Take this from a family that owns a landscaping company. It's too late. Your sods already dead.

Yikes - the insufferable "twinsplaining"...I just cant.

Yet again, poor Little Roll. I'm really getting the feeling that he acts up in the car because he's Just. So. Damn. Sick. Of. Being. In. There. Who the hell lets toddlers drive quads? Who cares if he had a helmet? It's just soooo wrong. UBT and Duhnelle must want him to have a "tragic" accident. I really felt for Leah. She looks like she's struggling on many levels. Karl's face is busted. What a hag. Watson is everything. Brianna? *yawns*

Guide to remembering Buitendorps - Claire has hair - Shawn's mowed like lawns.

Poor Maryssa, did you notice when DeluJannelle and UBT were fighting, she started chewing on her fingers like an animal trying to escape from a foothold trap? Also, methinks the Roll was screaming in frustration. Ensley has a seriously weird shaped head. Those poor, poor children.