pheebs

I've been around the "trend" block long enough to have seen leggings as pants before - (more than once, lol.) Done right, proportion-wise, they're cute. Just, for the love of sweet baby jeebus, wear a shirt that covers your buns and bits! I know trend for now is for shorter tops, but the proportions are off - as well as somewhat of a modesty issue. As for them being $98.00, I grew up in retail. My family owned a clothing/sporting goods store. The markup on high-end clothing is ridiculous. Nothing but the clearance rack for me! Back on topic. Watson is a very sweet lad. I might have a less-than popular opinion, but I love toddlers. It's my favorite age.

God - this show is so boring. FF'd through 75% of it. Chelsea's new house and land are nice, and in South dakota, surprisingly affordable. I'll bet under $350,000. It looks like around 20 acres or so. Hightlights for me are watching her drive through Sioux Falls and knowing exactly where she is at any moment. (I live about an hour away.) As far as her driving in for the fail that is Adumb, (again) it's not such a big deal for us. We'll drive an hour just to go to a restaurant. I'd guess that she probably lives about 15-20 miles from town. That's a pretty short commute here. I actually don't want to give MTV the views, but I can't quit. But I am sooo bored.

And... of course, Anya's back. And she can't sew. And the judgery thinks she has a "good eye." Get her off my screen. I too, noticed Mondo. They are both still unforgiven for that shitshow that was "Under the Gunn." The Nederlander is intriguing. I certainly hope the international sewtestants get a fair shot. K plz thnks? Has Anthony's skin always been so bad? He looked like he'd been the victim of massive sunburn. The minute I saw Dimitry's sketch, with the knowledge the JC Penney was to produce the winning garment, I knew he'd win. This is my judging criteria for the season. Makes sense, doesn't it? And...no elimination? Hopefully, they'll be two next week. Just get rid of Anya. Soon. I also think my teevee boyfriend, Dimitry, has gotten some fillers. And gained weight. It's okay, Hon. You still have that voice.

Not only that, but the area of Souh Dakota that she lives in has a very low unemployment rate (2.5%) and great job growth rate (2.1% for 2018 and projected to be 41% over the next ten years.) Nobody has trouble finding a decent job in Sioux Falls.

South Dakota. It really is different here. We are stuck in the 1950's. Grandma Donna's drop in - not unusual. People do it all the time. People who didn't grow up here complain to me all the time how folks are so nice and old-fashioned, it's weird. Traditional wives, Stay-at-home-Moms? There's lots of them. We do have a high percentage of working Moms - but you're expected to do all the heavy lifting, cleaning, child care, shuttling to activities, so the Dads can hunt, fish, make cribs, (lol) and come to a home-cooked meal every night, etc. When I moved here, I was blown away. It's kinda Like "The Andy Griffith Show," with a "Fargo" accent. But, it's kinda nice, but weird. Chelsea/Cole ( and her dependency) do not surprise me at all.

Does April have dentures? That's all I got...

He sure did. His family owned the newspaper. The Scuba wife then had a fitness advice column in the paper for years. She was always going off about the "great need to have aerobic fitness." And I always thought, "Of course you know the value of holding your breath."

Can I tell a true story? In our little midwestern town, a "Big Name" rich guy married the older sister of one of my friends. They were giant coke fiends and she started to get on his nerves, so he started an affair with a Scuba/Fitness Instructor/gym addict type girl. The husband basically made my Friend's sister get cold water/dive rescue certified and participate in dives (she wasn't really interested) and one January night they were drinking. He proposed loudly to all the bar patrons that "We're driving across the Lake to get home so we won't get busted for drunk driving." It wasn't a harsh winter, so the ice was iffy. He drove (whoops!) into open water and the vehicle sunk. He then managed to get out of the flooded vehicle - (How lucky was that! Thank goodness He was certified!) and walked to his lawyer's house on the lake and didn't bother to report the "accident" for hours. Of, course, He didn't. It was because He was so "rattled" it didn't even occur to him to call the authorities. Or, needed time to sober up. Or time to change out of his DrySuit for cold water diving He had under his clothes. Nah, he was just too shaken up to call - (from his lawyer's house.) She was found the next morning by Dive Rescue still buckled in. His window was open (must have needed that fresh air while driving!) Annnd...He got off scott free. He married the Scuba/Fitness Instructor six weeks later in an underwater ceremony in the Caribbean, wearing Scuba gear. As you do. Back on topic, Janelle sux.

You know when the most interesting TV is watching Rhiiine eat spaghetti (grossly) that this show is played. April seems quite snarky about the "list of concerns." Rehab? More like a joke. No one believes this shit. Because it's, well, just shit. Amber? Will you take some goddamn cash and go lie down on a Dr's. table somewhere and get that split earlobe fixed? It's all I can see anymore. So gross. Maci, et al, is sooooo boring. Just snoozeville. Let's watch her buy furniture! Yay! By the way, I now know I have the same stove as MackTruck. I see a grease fire in my future. Were you all as mind-numbingly bored as I was tonight? Just kill it already. I'ts so done.

Guys - I propose a name for Tyler's sister to keep us me, from being confused. How 'bout MethAmberPhetamine?

@methadonna - Brava! That was some Hunter S. Thompson-level realness!

His tank top says, "Mommy Whaley loves me." lol

Most notable moment for me - one of Kwhales hangers-ons (Bone? Quay? Peach?) feeding baby Suds a bottle in the makeup room wearing a nameplate necklace that said "C***." WTF?

I always thought it was first said by Queen Victoria, but a bit of research proved that to be wrong. It was pretty much made up by journalists.

Just playin' around with paint...Also, It's an excellent diet aid!

When NoReign was shrieking and the Dobe joined in for a good-ole-Dobey-howl, that did make me smile. Maybe he's teaching her to speak?

Amber's Mom - shaky, helium-voiced, blankly tearful blinking... I felt her terror through the screen. Farrah and her "Talking Tina doll" - I mean Mowgli, can you feel my terror through the screen? She's so emotionless, so completely absent of any trace of anything akin to a grip on reality. Her growling, "It's not about my wedding right now, we're talking about yours," as she looks down with her eyes like Jack Nicholson in the black turtleneck going insane at the Overlook Hotel. *crosses myself* NuCate blurts out, "How many do you plan on having? 'Cuz I know Tyler's talking about alot," with a knowing smile. Oh, I'm sure she means with...Cate? Sure, Jan. Speaking of the Nu - I'm finding out "nu" ways that NuMatt annoys me. Last week, the lamprey lips, (thank you whoever figured that out!) This week it's his labored, nasally breathing and voice, combined with his non-existent social skills, and just a whiff of condescension. I'm guessing coke. DebzOJeezusShe's Fucking Nutz. Is she always just *this* close to sobs? Maci's house is a hot mess, Maci's face is a hot mess, her hair is greasey hot mess. I feel like "David After Dentist," - "IS THIS REAL LIFE?"

Tyler can't sleep? Maybe it could have something to do with that 24 oz. RedBull you just slammed in the late afternoon? Jus sayin'. Who in dog's name invites their daughter and grand-daughter (and TV crew) to your marriage proposal? And Michael, the 90's called and wants their slightly-oversized round tortoise-framed yellow gold glasses back - Elaine Benes lost her contacts. Cate's lost keys freak-out conveniently resolved by Ty-Ty's side-chi... I mean Cate's new bestie. She's just so great to have around, amirite? Their entire entourage looked like a gathering of the Juggalos. So. Completely.Trashy. Amber? Where do you start with this one? All horrible decisions aside, (and there's many) her fashion taste would make Blanche Devereaux throw shade. And NuMatt's nasty dirty feet and fingernails make me want to hurl. I must admit, he skeeves me out more than OldMatt, if that's possible. Voice of TM2 Roxanne - "I just cannnnn'ttt with you guyyyyysss!"

Now I know why NuMatt has been filling me with creepy dread everytime he's on my screen. Clutch Cargo lips. The stuff of my childhood nightmares.

Things we've seen that can't be unseen: Mack's epic cankles at the spa. Ham Hocks. Farrah in the lovely (*gag*) mauve stretch velour tube top and pencil skirt. Puttana di bassa classe. Cate's greasy almalgam of haircolors, from dirty greeny brown to grey to bluish greenish grey. Doesn't she know not to mix cool colors with warm browns, like her teeth? DebzOG's collection of bedazzled newsboy caps boggle the mind. As does the ridic hair. And did you see her complete lack of eyebrows when she was checking in at the hotel? No eyebrows make people look like space aliens. Hmmmm... I know the attraction of NuMatt to Amduh. He's so tall/huge, he makes her look nearly normal. My god, why can't she do something with those roots? Guages, Maci. Gauges. Not your friend. Also not her friend this ep - UT orange with the orange spray tan and orange hair. It all it just makes her look extra gaunt.

Here is the town I grew up in - in Iowa! Dubuque has some of the oldest buildings west of the Mississippi!

Maci and the TTM braintrust misspelled "Los Angeles?" They missed an "E?" What do you think it was, "Los Angels," or "Los Angles?" Hilarious. Farrah does not have the body for runway modeling. She looked like a Chola brick in that bleach-splattered plaid shirt. Likewise, Mowgli. Child is not attractive. DebzOG wants to put a tattoo on the Feral One's forehead. What, like, "Keep hands and feet away from her mouth?" Speaking of eating fingers, Catelynn. TyTy and Cate now sport "Tierra Reign" gear in every scene. Damn, where will I get my weekly shoutout to the "Golden Girls Collection" from Walmart? Did you notice Rhiinne buzzing so hard at the restaurant that he was vibrating? Mac and her chins were not impressed. Gary and Kristina give me life.

Hey look! Ambuh and NewMatt at the VMA's!

Kiki the Producer and DebzOG must have been to JenYell's garage sale 'cuz they both got feathers in their hair, dude. When's the Ke$ha concert? So, Rhiinne and the Chinless Wonder are fighting and are perpetually late for everything? Color me shocked. Sofeeya is genuinely worrying me. Growling and hitting herself? That kid is fucked. Tyler expounds that "Nothing ever changes..." Yeah, we know, we know. Amber sucks. Her life, her choices, the air from the room. NewMatt has already opened a "joint" account. (That only he can access!) You can see it in his eyes. Cha-Ching! Highlight of the show - Taylor's hot Barber and his crack about "White people problems." I do like Farrah's red hair, though. But not so much her super-porny "friend." Like Tyler says, "Don't ever change,"Teen Mom OG. Not that you ever do. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

Oh crap ...I forgot to ask for her address on my original post! Does anyone have it?