Mockingbird

Christina's face when Nick went through, though. Oh, boy.

I am SO angry I teared up when Zelena was saying goodbye to her baby. I watch this show generally just to be irritated by all the wasted potential and to admire some eye candy, not to actually feel things. Score one for the writers and Mader, I guess. However, the pacing with the rest of the episode was so weird. Hook was completely back to normal after his ordeal last week and however long Hades was torturing him. Charming and Snow continue to be absolutely useless, just sort of wandering around instead of actually trying to get home. And, while I always enjoy Zelena, the thing with Hades could have been plotted out so much better. If we had gotten their backstory earlier and genuinely believed he was after her and her baby, tonight's episode might have felt less rushed. But why would you carefully plot out things when you can have an episode of Regina trying to kill Snow in the past for the millionth time?

I was excited about Peter Dinklage, but I had to turn off the show after they started with the Winnie the Pooh sketch. Why was that so early in the night? And when Jay finally gets something to do, why did it have to be that? That was terrible.

Was Mischa really complaining about not being able to hear her music immediately dancing after Nyle?

Totally agreed. Judas in JCS never fails to break my heart in that recording (and in other good productions), and, while most productions of the show are products of their time and therefore dated, the music by itself largely holds up, for me at least. I used to rock Heaven on Their Minds dying eggs with my family when I was much younger, though, so I have an emotional attachment. Hoobastank, Creed, and Evanescence, however, really dated the show for me. I guess it just depends on whether or not you were a ridiculous high school student when those songs were originally released...

I would have loved Jesus Christ Superstar live. The music/casting choices here are so perplexing to me. Actually, the whole thing is perplexing. Hoobastank followed soon after by Tyler Perry detailing crucifixion? I forgot that this was on, and, as I was flipping around, I was stopped dead in my tracks with the thought: "Is Judas singing Imagine Dragons at Gethsemane?" OH, GOSH. Now hot Jesus is singing Katy Perry.

Rumple, there were five million other ways to destroy the boat without killing Milah. Again.

John as Lindsey Graham going, "I am your boss," had me laughing much harder than I should have been laughing.

Listen to me, writers. There are literally no stakes when Cora steals Snow's heart in the past and Regina squeezes it. We know she doesn't die. It's a waste of time. Stop wasting time. Also, I knew that nothing this show could do would compare to the cartoon Hades. Cartoon Hades is my favorite Disney villain. He's just so much fun. This guy was smug and super boring, with the terrible CGI blue flames. And that preview didn't give me much hope for Hercules. I'm feeing sort of sappy, so, even if most of the episode annoyed me, I liked Regina's dad going into the light. Also, have they explained why the hell they'd bring Henry to the Underworld? Why are both of his mothers okay with this?

Dom was robbed. That is all. Actually, that's not all. How the hell was Mitchell safe? THOSE STARS.

The only reason Ken and Dom's looks weren't in the top was that so Sam could cause drama by taking credit for Kini's work. We see through your machinations, producers. Riiiiiiight through you.

Good catch! Special guest star Martin Freeman indeed. Mike's "Okay, then," and then getting back in the car and driving away was hilarious. We didn't get a lot of Mike Milligan this episode, but what we got was just about perfect. I'm surprised Lou would leave Hank dying to chase after Peggy and co. without at least alerting someone that Hank was up there needing help. I feel like I need to watch it again to try to process my thoughts, but that UFO is definitely playing a bigger part this season than the fish rain did last season.

Oof. Hook was the most unlikable he's ever been, including when he was in cahoots with Cora. I don't know how we're supposed to believe he could turn so dark so fast (MERLIN! That was just rude, Hook) and then still root for him once he's no longer the Dark One. I know that the show has to create conflict, but it's just not believable that Hook could go from two seasons of pure puppy dog in love to...whatever this is. Also, show and idiot characters on it: Emma has not and will never do anything worse than all of the terrible shit Regina and Rumple have done. Her wanting to work through things on her own is not quite as bad as, well, hundreds of murders and ruined lives.

I verbalized Hank's inner monologue with a "Fuuuuuuuck" when Dodd and his men showed up. I thought for sure he was a goner, so I'm glad he was only knocked out. That hardly seems to line up with the whole "leave no witnesses" mentality, but it doesn't matter. I'm glad we get to keep Hank for now. Ted Danson has been stellar all season. As someone who loves Nick Offerman, I'm sorry to agree that his scene with Ed lasted forever. Though they definitely redeemed the character in his conversation with Bear. It took a bit to get me as invested in this season as I was in the first, but I'm all in and loving it now.

Yes, show. Follow up a ton of plot development (even if a lot of that plot development doesn't make the most sense) and a huge twist with an hour of fairly meaningless subplot filled with side characters. Though it's possible the Merida episode would have been even more infuriating if we had to wait a week to learn absolutely nothing about what's happening with Hook.

Swapnil was my favorite from the beginning, but I knew as soon as he started getting the slacker edit, things weren't going to end well for him. It still sort of saddens me that he never got a single win because a lot of his early designs were beautiful. I think the whole "I'm not giving it my all" attitude was totally an effort at self preservation because he was always coming in second. It was just a bummer to see him worn down. Normally I'm completely in the "real" women's corner for this challenge, but these crew members seemed super hard to please. And the looks all ended up being pretty bad.

I loved Mat during his season, but that trick last night was a bit lackluster. It seemed like it would be a good filler trick for a two hour special, but it was the wrong choice for last night.

I've just marathoned PD in a couple of days, after catching Little Scorpion and being intrigued. I'm fairly positive that the vampire brother on earth (whether it's Dracula or Dorian or something else) is still alive as Malcolm killed the head vampire and all of the vamps it had turned were also killed. Mina didn't die with that vampire, so the vampire big bad (presumably the brother, using Mina to get Vanessa) is still around. Damn, Dorian. You don't get to accuse Angelique of not being able to love you while you're holding poison with her name on it. And if Dorian hadn't confessed to the painting being him, he could have played it off as some weird, haunted portrait of an ancestor. He was bored with Angelique and just looking for an excuse to be rid of her. Echoing all the love for Sembene and Lyle. And Malcolm has regained my favor (I'm not even mad at him for believing he could handle the witches himself, because of course he would.) But the biggest surprise was Brona/Lily. I've seen BP in lots of things, but she's never been that good.

He's the 30-year-old who replaced Jonathan as the challenger. And he's the worst. Though I did get a kick out of his smartass response of, "Oh, is that how this works?" after the host repeated the stupid three wrongs and you're gone for the millionth time. But he's so smug. I'm hoping the librarian gets through his next 50 questions so we're not stuck with the gambler.

Oof. That scene with Claire clinging to Jamie while Jack nailed his hand to the table was brutal. So well acted, but so difficult to watch. My heart hurt for Claire--having to watch the man she loves in so much pain, knowing that this is only the beginning--much more than it ever did while reading.

If you've somehow missed Terry's "A Thousand Miles" performance, please make your day a lot better by watching it now.

A Valentine's Day message from Hayley and James: If I were writing this show, I'm sorry to say that Anna Jarvis would be in trouble. Hayley and James are just ridiculously fun to watch together.

*In Garry/Jerry/Larry/Terry voice:* Oh, geez. I love this show. And normally I despise unearned happy endings (I was THAT student in my college lit classes complaining about the plausibility of Shakespeare's comedies and romances) because that's just not the way the world works. But I have so much affection for Parks and Rec and these characters and these actors that I'm just relishing in seeing them happy. And I love them parading out all of the recurring characters. And, as I was laughing at Ron trying to cover up his slip about where he buried some gold, it really hit me how little time we have left with these characters. Then my allergies started acting up really badly. This show, with its ridiculous, unrealistic optimism makes me really happy, and I'm going to miss it so much.

Amidst all of my sadness over Jon's announcement today and my concern for my sanity without him, the knowledge that I won't get to check "Attend a taping of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" off my bucket list has been hard to accept.

Oh, I really like this. I'm bothered by Anna always being offscreen, but now this is my explanation why. Peggy and Jarvis do have great chemistry, and he's been the only character on the show who truly respects and admires her in a non-patronizing way, so I get people shipping them because there's no other husband alternative. (If Anna wasn't in the picture, I'd be on board.) It absolutely seems fishy/cheesy to have Anna be a disembodied voice offscreen, but maybe we'll see her if Jarvis starts losing control of the separation of his home and work life.