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Because some of us could use a little smile. Maybe one or two of these will do the trick. The Sunday Funnies — Volume 7 What famous monster came from the bean patch? The Creature from The Black Legume Cowboy rides into town. What kind of potatoes does he order at the local saloon? Au Trotten. Cowboy rides into town. What kind of potatoes does he order at the local saloon? Sgalloped. This is a real coincidence. My proctologist drives a brown Ford Probe. A courtroom artist was arrested over the weekend. We don’t know more than that, details are a little sketchy. If drummers start coming out of retirement, will there be repercussions? I asked my smart speaker a question. I said “Siri, why am I so bad with women?” She said, “Well, for starters, my name’s Alexa.” Sign at the gynecologist’s office: “Doctor Jones, at your cervix.” Under the latest COVID directive, 30 people are allowed at a funeral but only six for Thanksgiving dinner. That’s fine with us since I’m going to be holding a funeral for our pet turkey that will pass away on November 26. Refreshments will be provided. An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar. “What'll it be?” The bartender asks. “I'll have a beer,” the etymologist says. “A word which comes from Latin *bibere,* meaning “to drink.” “I'll have a Campari,” the entomologist says. “It was originally dyed with crushed beetles.” The bartender gets them their drinks. “And for you, sir?” he asks the third man. “I'm just wondering how I got here,” the etiologist replies. And now a word from our little mascot, dung beetle: Dung beetle called in for a Chinese restaurant take out. He ordered a Number 2. What’s the only condiment dung beetle will use? Musturd.

Alex's thoughts and comments on his last day. Let us all be kinder going forward.

Hey, if you were playing SaberFinalJeopardy, you would have gotten three matches. And Rapunzel was a better guess than mine. So there's that (sort of) plus!

Oh, I just came here to post the same, the news of Alex's passing just came through my feed. I'm heartbroken, and shocked. He seemed so well ... *tears*

Thanks. I try to watch Wheel every day and I couldn't think of "toss up" for the life of me. I saw the Sir Isaac Newton toss up but didn't think anything of the wrong answer. That happens a lot, people buzz in before they really know the answer, maybe hoping it will come to them in that split second before they have to say something. I also didn't mind the wrong Orange/Brownie final. (Now I've forgotten what Final Jeopardy is called on Wheel!) Sometimes the right word doesn't come to the player while it does to me sitting at home. Friday's show was another example where I got Wheel FJ but the player did not. I won nothing while the player probably got a sandwich from craft services to eat on the way home.

Gil flying up the Spider Climb like a ... well, spider on fire, made me shout out at my tv. I love R.J. Roman's grandmother. I bothers me that all the Zoom families have a dog with them. A dog that is freaking out by all the shouting and yelling and cheering. Have a heart, people, put the dog in another room. Freak-out dog is not a good look. I'm a big fan of Dougie Fresh and his pants. Again, that lone guy in the bottom right corner of Jessie Graf's Zoom screen. I was really wishing for a Jessie or Flex win this year. Joe falling made me shout out an obscenity. It surprised me as much as Joe falling surprised me. But what a good sport he is to congratulate Malik. Gil vs. Flex was a bummer. I wanted them both to win, not for one to knock the other out of competition. I was sorry to see Jake lose, but he was such a good sport congratulating Amir. However, I was glad Austin beat Amir so I guess I'm not as nice as Jake. Gil and his wife needed to be wearing masks during that house showing with a realtor ... who was wearing a mask. Way to not be a role model, Gil. I was glad Gil won though, since I was rooting for him last year when THAT bet him. I was on the Dislike Train about that guy before we knew he was a lying cheating perv. So congrats Mr. Gil.

I get the FJ clue from TheJeopardyFan.com before the show airs here. Sometimes I know it right away, sometimes I ponder it for a while. But I never time myself like a contestant on the show since typically if I don't know it right away, I don't know it regardless of pondering time. Using those metrics, I would allow any answers that are correct, whether mental or written or shouted at the teevee.

You would have gotten it, it was an easy ID. Well, for me anyway since I had a red fox in my north pasture a while back. Beautiful. But grey fox is more common around my house, I see them often.

I loved Danny Kaye but I hold strong to my statement: "I had heard of Thumbelina but did not know her story, I knew nothing about her. So I looked it up and now I do. But I'm not surprised it was an asterisk. She is a pretty obscure fable. At least in my world." If the next FJ is Westminster Best In Show Winners, that might be an obscure topic in your world while easy as pie in mine. That's sort of how this works. Don't hate me because I know -- or don't know -- everything or nothing. ETA: I wasn't going to many movies in 1952 when Hans Christian Anderson hit the theaters. Couldn't drive yet.

WEEK 8 • Nov. 2, 2020 — ONE asterisk * 36. Political Speeches. At the 2004 DNC, Barack Obama used a fairly new metaphor, saying, “Pundits…slice & dice our country into” these 2 types of states. 37. Africa. After the removal of the dictator, in 2011 3 broad colored stripes & 2 white symbols were restored to this country’s flag. 38. Country Names. 5 U.N. member countries have one-syllable names: Chad, Laos, & these 3 in Europe. 39. Foreign Words in English. The first use of this Spanish term in English was by Wellington referring to partisans in the Peninsular Wars. * 40. Fairy Tale Characters. In French, this fairy tale character is La Petite Poucette, in Spanish, Pulgarcita & in English, this. *

For FJ I knew they wanted a small person so I went with Tinkerbelle, but that's not a fairy tale. So I half-heartedly decided on Little Red Riding Hood since "little" is in her name. And maybe, just maybe, that fairy tale is called something different in Spanish since La Pequena Roja wasn't part of the clue. After the answer was revealed, I realized I had heard of Thumbelina but did not know her story, I knew nothing about her. So I looked it up and now I do. But I'm not surprised it was an asterisk. She is a pretty obscure fable. At least in my world. Maybe if I had learned more Spanish than asking the location of the library, what's your name and pass the butter, I could have figured it out.

That would have been the most awesome (and drah-mat-tic!) season ever if the season played all the way out, down to the final two bachelors, Dale and someone else. Clare sends Someone Else home at the proposal, and then Dale (not knowing the other guy got sent home) gets out of the limo, walks to where Clare is waiting, and tells her they could be friends but he wasn't ready to propose. (Juan Pablo!) Clare throws a hissy-fit tantrum and Dale says, "Whew, I'm glad I didn't pick her." End of season!

My money is on it will be officially official until all the media rounds have been made, the morning and evening talk shows, radio interviews and the next cast of DWTS is announced. And, oh yeah, IG followers top out for the best $ shilling products. And Dale's gym maxes out its membership rolls.

When I saw FJ, all I could think was, "There were Peninsular Wars?" So, obviously, not even a guess from me.

All I could think of was, I hope someone is picking up all the poops they're leaving all over that resort. I imagine some PA has been assigned that job. It also went briefly through my mind, where were the dogs when "fiance stuff" was going on. Because dogs love to sleep on the bed with their person. And check out anything that's going on there.

Maybe that's what he meant, but I didn't hear it that way. I heard it as "What if she's dog meat, can I leave after I see her?" Sort of like that season where Brit and someone else were voted on for B-ette, and when Brit lost, some guys bailed. (Obviously, I can't remember the name of the winner of that vote, who went on to have the whole season to herself.) The show sure spent a lot of time on the bearded bach last night, I think it's the guy from Canada. Wonder if he's being set up for villain ... or lead interest. I don't remember Tayisha at all, so I thought she must be from Peter's season, the only season I couldn't bear to watch. But I guess she's from Fence-Jumping Colton's. Didn't make an impression, but then that whole season was blocked from my brain as soon as it ended. Maybe even before it ended. I'll give her a chance since some of those guys are nice eye candy. But already the previews are "Oh, what if they don't like me, wah wah." Geesh. Rinse and repeat. Maybe Yousef needs to come back.

Not that I remember. Winter Games didn't have any Neil Lane interaction. I think Benoit just proposed on his own. Maybe someone else remembers better. BIP has always been about hooking up. Winter Games was, well, a bunch of winter games. Which is maybe why it only lasted one season.

I want to know where they're living. Is that Clare's house? Dale's place? With the cool pool and everything? Hey, four days is longer than some engagements in this franchise, so there's that.

Oh, man, so now everything is going to change AGAIN next week? Please. Clare is so in love with Dale that Neil Lane ring. If Benoit had given her one big-ass multi-diamond, they might still be engaged. Funny how she's forgotten this is her SECOND time being engaged.

Zac C with the gigantic white shoes ... no rose for you.

Oh, please. All you guys are staying and you know it.

Oh god, there's still one-half hour left. This episode has been so exhausting.

Did he just say, "Let's do the damn thing"? Has he forgotten which season he's on?

Clare: "I finally got my big-ass Neil Lane ring! OMG, I've waited six years for this!"

Looks like the ring came via drone and dropped from the air into the complex. At least Dale opened the box so he knows what it looks like. I predict he chickens out and he and Clare leave together so they can do more fiance stuff in between watching football. Will Clare let him forego the Neil Lane ring? Stay tuned to find out in the Most Dramatic Not Proposal EVAH! Are the other guys invited to the proposal? Way cool if so.