Steph J

You missed a step: Carly's head explodes. Michael and Joss dissolve into dust because once you kill the head vampire the other ones are also destroyed.

"Luke is gone," says Robert, who was once presumed dead, to Anna, who was once presumed dead, with whom he shares a daughter who was once presumed dead, and Felicia, whose first husband was once presumed dead, regarding a man who on a previous occasion was presumed dead, leading to Robert marrying his girlfriend, who would later be falsely presumed dead, all while living in a town where 4 people have returned from the dead within the last year. Death is meaningless. The only people who stay dead are BJ, Stone, and any Quartermaine not named Jason. But at least it got Jane Elliot back.

Willow to Nina: "Not everything's about you!" Unspoken part of the sentence: Except when something goes wrong, then it's always somehow about you. If they're going to let Michael punch Scott, then they should at least balance the scales by letting Nina smack some sense into Willow.

Not sure I understand the point of the Belle/Shawn/Jan business today. Belle walked in on Shawn in bed with a woman who looks just like her, so it should be obvious to her that this is MarDevil's work, right? If Jan looked like Belle to Shawn but like herself to Belle, that would be one thing, but Belle seeing exactly what Shawn does leaves no room for her to question whether this is the devil's manipulation or him knowingly cheating on her. Lol'd at the kidnapper being like Sami's a pain in the ass, you should all be thanking me for keeping her away for so long.

I was prepared to feel bad for her because that must suck, but then she compared herself to a homeless person standing outside a restaurant watching people eat... while sitting on a luxury yacht.

Heather & Fraser: Jess has got to go. Jess leaves. Heather & Fraser: No, not like that! Would have been nice if Jess had given notice that she'd leave after the charter that was about to start finished but, on the other hand, I don't really blame her for not wanting to be in a confined space with two people who are constantly running to each other to bitch about her. Besides, if she's so useless anyway, it shouldn't be much of a loss, right?

Someone not being aware of your brand isn't a reflection on them, it's a reflection on the success of the brand (says someone who had no idea Lala had a brand). Katie is an a-hole that I would never want to spend time with ever, but Sandoval (also an a-hole that I would never want to spend time with ever) can fuck off forever with his lament for the plight of cis/het/white men. That being said, I'm starting to think that, while there is natural animosity between Katie and Sandoval, what we're seeing is the result of them agreeing to play it up to 100 in order to create content and "drama" for the show in order to keep it going.

I dunno, now that Heather's dropped the n-word, Fraser's probably rethinking that alliance. Didn't buy Heather's "Oh, did I say that?" routine at all. She knew she said it, thought somehow that she was going to get a pass, and then went deer in the headlights when called out and realized that was going to end up on TV (says it all that she threw out the term "cancel culture" when Rayna didn't say that, just told her she should watch what she says) and decided playing dumb was her best option. I feel like this really brings that whole, I was bullied for being a pretty white girl thing into sharp relief. Edited because on rewatch I see that Rayna did warn Heather about cancel culture the first time she told her not to say it; it was when she repeated the warning that she told her to be careful about what she says.

I don't want to be harsh about a literal kid, but the whole "wise beyond their years" persona is very irritating. No one wants to be condescended to by a pre-teen. Re: Heather, I think she's overcompensating for her past as an overly judgmental Mormon by bending over backwards to show zero judgment now that she's left the church. I would imagine it's common among people who've broken away from religious indoctrination to turn around and reject everything they associate with that life and I think that's what's going on with Heather since she seems to still be struggling to reconcile who she is now to who she was then.

Jesus, obviously. I predict that when Justin dies, there will be an ugly fight between Whitney and the kids from his first marriage over whatever is left of his estate. On an unrelated note, I love that horse whose response to Lisa trying to direct him was to just stand there and take a dump. That is definitely the correct reaction to Lisa.

Michael and Willow are so horrible that I actually feel relieved to see Sonny & Carly or Peter when there's a transition to a new scene. Anything to get the Smuggersons off my screen.

Sonny: Kill Peter for me. Selina: Sure, but in return you have to ensure that Brad is paroled. Sonny (clutching pearls): Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do? Guy, you just asked her to kill someone. She wasn't just going to do it out of the kindness of her heart.

It's like she doesn't know that the "mini Carly" position has already been filled.

Lord, am I ever done hearing about Jason. You'd think the man had never been presumed dead before. You'd think a kajillion people hadn't come back from the dead in this town this year alone.

Heather is an absolutely terrible manager who has a complete inability to properly read her subordinates and deal with them in the way they need to be dealt with. Fraser needs to be taken to task for the constant shit stirring. Meanwhile, continuing to pile on Jessica when she's already feeling defensive and like she's getting it from all sides is just going to make her shut down even more. Good luck to both Heather and Fraser when they're stuck with no one but each other.

Carly is such an a-hole. That's it. That's the post.

I find it hilarious that Fraser thinks that he doesn't already have a piss poor attitude. All he ever does is complain and he seems to be one of those toxic people who can only relate to others by finding a mutual target that they can gang up on together.

In fairness, that's not a he said/she said point because he acknowledges having done so, but said that he did it after the daughter showed him her scar from a knee surgery. My favorite part of the whole case was when she denied that her daughter had a scar and Judy asked if the daughter ever had surgery on her knee. You could literally see the woman buffering as she tried to think of a way to avoid admitting the fact of the surgery without outright lying. Like, how would he even come up with a story about showing each other scars if he didn't know about the daughter's surgery in the first place? It was a completely pointless lie.

Rachel really just has zero insight into her behavior last season, doesn't she?

I assume that "personal trainer" is code for "failed actor."

I am so tired of watching people get the chance to kill Peter, threaten to kill Peter, and then fail to kill Peter that at this point I just want him to die the lamest death possible. Like slip in the shower, fall into the toilet, drown in the bowl.

Brock seems like trash and every new piece of information that comes out (even from his own mouth) just makes that clearer. But he sure does love to be on TV and he sure does love to make a performance out of feeling sorry for himself. Lala shouldn't be coming in dialed up to 10 every time if she expects to have a real conversation about this, but if my friend had a baby with a guy who had slapped his ex and hasn't seen his kids for 4 years for... reasons, I'd be concerned for her and I'd question her judgment.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Robyn's going on the evidence she has from their past experience and Juan's shut down reaction to the topic doesn't suggest that it would be different if they tried it again. Why would any woman want to have a baby with a man whose reaction to being asked if he's going to help take care of the baby is to literally run away?

Robyn needs to cut her losses with Juan. He's clearly not invested enough to even try to work on the issues that make her feel anxious about their relationship and most of the time it looks like he barely tolerates her presence. It's better to be alone with yourself than be alone when you're next to someone who's supposed to be with you. She's always going to be lonely in that relationship. I really wish that the producer, in response to Gizelle's repeated "none of your business," had reminded her that when you participate in a reality show about your life, then the details of your life become the producer's business. You don't want it to be anyone's business? Leave the show. Michael Darby can go ahead and drop off the face of the earth any time now.

Boo. I had watched up to the mid-700s and was in the midst of the Elena/Eleanor story. Oh well. I get that people take their chances posting soaps on youtube due to the possibility of being shut down due to copyright, but it's a shame that the copyright holders will do that even though youtube and similar sites and DVD sellers/traders are the only way to watch old soaps. It's not like the copyright holders are losing money by having the episodes on youtube given that they aren't trying to make money off the shows in the first place.