Steph J

Well, he did have that story when he first came back where he was having trouble bonding with Scout. Oh, you don't remember that? That's probably because it happened almost entirely off screen. According to dialogue around that time, Sam was also feeling torn between Drew and Dante for a while, although we never actually saw that. It's almost like there was no point in putting him on contract...

And this is exactly why I don't believe his claims that he was trying to break up with her before everything came out. He couldn't afford a break up at that point. He and Ariana own that house together, which means they either have to sell it and split the profit (either equally or in proportion to each of their contributions if they didn't put in an equal amount), or one of them has to buy the other out. He' s taken out mortgages against it in order to pump funds into his restaurant, which as you point out, likely means that at this point the debt attached to the house exceeds its value, which means that even if they sold it there wouldn't be any money. If the shared asset itself (the house) doesn't have value, then Tom's probably going to lose the investment he made with the asset either by having to sell his share of the restaurant and splitting that with Ariana, or by splitting the share itself with Ariana so that she becomes one of the owners. Like, if these people weren't already on TV, we would be meeting them for the first time on an episode of Dateline because this is exactly the kind of situation where a cheater decides that they're better off killing their spouse so that they can be with the affair partner without losing their assets (and maybe gaining some further assets via life insurance policy).

Honestly, all this righteous anger from her about other women being mistresses is so rich it makes my teeth hurt. And, really, if we didn't know about the Scandoval of it all, Rachel making out with Oliver while having the honest belief that he was in the midst of divorcing his wife would not be at all comparable to Lala openly flaunting her relationship with Randall and viciously taunting his wife. Literally laughed out loud when Schwartz assumed Katie was going to let him emotionally unload on her and she was like, "That sucks, bye" and then left.

I liked it. It feels like a bit of a throwback to another era of moviemaking (in a good way). I loved the meeting scene when Phil, with absolutely no chill, walks in and interrupts the pitch to be like, "Excuse me, I'm an important billionaire who has taken time out of his busy day to be at this meeting. Video? Is there a video? Can we watch the video now?"

I'm enjoying the Haunted Star scenes a lot, but I think I would enjoy them even more if there was a subplot centering on the one by the book henchman who spends the entire time bitching about how the others are making everyone's job harder by not following protocol.

This was alternately such a satisfying and frustrating episode. Satisfying because the police were able to piece together all the electronic evidence to make the case and find Kassandra's remains, frustrating because the prosecution felt it had to make a deal to get a conviction. I mean, I guess you truly never know how a jury will go, but I just don't see how there could have been any reasonable doubt that he did it. And there's no doubt in my mind that the girlfriend knew something - that bizarre response she gave to the police about whether he could have killed Kassandra set off every alarm in my brain.

There's no way that she came up with that off the cuff (I mean, have you seen her interact with people in an adversarial context? It's like she's on a time delay as she tries to come up with a clap back), it had to be scripted. It's not even a particularly clever thing to say given that these people all kind of hate each other and are constantly making fun of/being mean about each other. In any given episode you could say that "X and Y talking about Z situation are like the muppets in the balcony mocking everyone else." There are probably outtakes of her saying it about other cast member combos.

She's really feeling herself this season, thinking she's about to become a fan favorite for standing up to BlahBlah.

Fucking LOL at this weak ass junior high "You can't sit at my table" message from Scheana delivered by Rachel. Congrats Rachel, you just let Scheana make a real Gretchen Wieners out of you.

Katie and Schwartz really just need to not be around each other. That should be easy since the appeal of being around either of them is a mystery.

This episode was... loud. At the risk of inviting bad karma, the clips of the NY housewives screaming and sliding around the semi-sinking boat will never not be funny. I would gladly welcome those clips being edited into all shows in the bravo-verse.

I'm not sure I'd characterize suing the network over his firing as a cordial exit. Valentine was particularly awful today with his reaction to Eileen's death. Like, Victor is obviously the big bad, but are we really supposed to believe that someone's one of the good guys when he helps get someone killed and feels absolutely no remorse about it whatsoever? I mean, I guess we are since Sonny is the show's hero, but, you know, in a show with a moral compass this would be jarring.

I'm going to have to insist that the show start sending me a dollar every time the words "baby brother" are uttered so that I can pay for therapy before the repetition drives me insane.

How does Scheana manage to get Katie moved when her bridesmaid supposedly couldn't even get a room because there were none left?

Leah is as insufferable as ever, I see. Hopefully this is the last time Bravo casts her in anything. That said, I did enjoy seeing her mother again because it never fails to amuse me how she just shuts down Leah's nonsense by refusing to give her a reaction.

She also shouldn't have told him everything she knew, leaving herself with no bargaining chip to keep herself alive. I'm stuck on how the spycraft gang managed to put together that elaborate hoax with "Anna's" body to force Eileen onto their side, yet no one thought to station someone in the Metro Court hallway so that they could quickly come to Eileen's rescue if things went sideways with Victor.

I got stuck on that, too. I'm not even sure that I would call it false, so much as splitting hairs - beside her could mean next to her or at her side. Nothing really turns on that. I do think he's guilty, but I don't see how that detail could be the thing that tips the scales. I was surprised by how supportive her mother was of him during the trial and was thinking that maybe she was just being cautious because she didn't want to risk being cut out of her grandkids' lives, but I guess that wasn't the motivation since she testified at the sentencing hearing. I can't believe the kids were allowed to be there for that - how traumatic for them.

Late arrival to the season - I gave up after last largely because I couldn't stand the thought of watching another season of Brock, but have been drawn back in by the Scandoval - and I've got to say, I'm on Katie's side with the whole resort thing. It's not her fault or her problem that Scheana's bridesmaid didn't have her shit together and every time Scheana whines about not wanting Katie at the resort, as if the whole thing should belong to her for her special day to her grifter groom, I just become more entrenched in my position.

The one time I've ever agreed with Michael: The annoyed sigh when Dex and Joss were like "We won't be parted!"

Joss is such a little sociopath. Carly had more of a reaction to Liz's joke that Jason would never have slept with Esme than Joss did to Bobbi bringing up Britt's death.

It could be worse. It's been like 3 years since Sonny spawned, so he's probably due for another unnecessary child to add to his collection.

Well, today was mostly garbage. I don't think I've ever felt less sympathy for a soap character dealing with a potentially terminal illness. On another note, I don't understand why Ava and Austin are even humoring Mason. Unless Ava and Austin left the statue that she hit Nikolas with in the stables, too, then Mason doesn't have any physical evidence that Ava's the one who hit him and he is the one in possession of Nikolas' unconscious body, so if he goes to the cops they could just say that he hit Nikolas to try to blackmail Ava. Even if he does have the statue to connect Ava to it, there's still the fact that he didn't take Nikolas to the hospital and instead took him wherever it is that he's holding him, which could result in him facing charges of his own (unless he cuts himself an Elizabeth deal) And of course that's all laying aside the fact that as a mob minion (or whatever he is) his number one job is to not invite unnecessary interactions with the police that could lead to them poking around in what he's got going on. So call his bluff, he ain't going to the cops. I suppose he could threaten to go to Victor, but I'm not sure Victor would have enough patience to sit through Mason's schtick as he took the long way getting to the point.

When was the last time Bailey was even mentioned, let alone seen? I honestly can't remember. The only way I can get behind another pregnancy storyline is if this becomes a Children of the Corn scenario where these kids get together and take out some of the trash on the show. Of course, the way this show is written, they'd probably elevate Carly as their God.

I can see it now: Willow will be too sick, so Carly will stand in as proxy for the ceremony. I can't believe how blah this week has been compared to last - that string of episodes that didn't include the Carlys was really a gift.

I've been watching the start of Claire Labine's run, which is also when Luke and Laura return, and man was the show ever good then. I haven't seen most this material since it originally aired and I'd forgotten how much I liked Luke back then. I know that Geary detested Labine's take on Luke, but for the life of me I can't understand why - she gave him so many different layers to play with and the character is so much more multifaceted than he would be later on. The whole show is really clicking together, although I do find it strange how abrupt the exits are for departing characters, especially Scott. One thing I'm hoping someone who was watching in the '80s can clarify for me: Luke and Laura's return story is built on the idea that they've been on the run from Frank Smith since they left town, but that's not how it actually went down in real time, is it? Because after Frank went to prison, Luke and Laura (then Luke alone for a while) were still in Port Charles for a few years.