Trillian

Respectfully, that is not at all the same as saying one values work over family. That is saying that one is not cut out to stay home with the kids, however much one loves them. Not everyone finds fulfilment staying home with young children - I sure didn’t and it doesn’t mean my family was less important than my work. In Toby’s case, there was already one parent who was at home most of the time, so the whole “abandoning your kids to a nanny or daycare” debate (baloney, IMO) doesn’t even come up.

How is Maggie so clueless that she didn’t know her station has demographics and that she must play to them? And what kind of professional radio station - one that is so successful that Mr Owner can buy the talent a car - didn’t communicate that and make sure that “her” screeners kept out callers tallying about verboten topics? When I saw boss lady sitting in the control booth (with no screeners), I thought for sure she was going to cut the call herself. And most of that one box was a cactus! I left a job I was at for only 6 months with more personal stuff than she did. If nothing else, what woman doesn’t have a pile of shoes at the office (I miss my shoes, which have sitting lonely in my office wardrobe for 2 years now. When this cruel pandemic is over, the reunion with my shoes will be glorious - if they still fit).

Can you imagine the brochures for this school? “Our staff consists of random people off the street, with no teaching credentials or formal training or experience in special needs students. Tuition starts at … “

I wouldn’t have expected the co-workers to discuss her weight with her - they seemed too nice and polite for that - but I agree that it’s unrealistic that no one seemed to have noticed it. I have a cousin who used to be morbidly obese (she finally got down to a healthier weight in middle age through years of healthy eating and exercise. Amazing willpower and discipline). I never noticed it since I grew up with her and was used to it but I would see other people’s reaction when she walked into a room and they meet for the first time. Even the most polite people would do a double-take or a little blink of shock. I frankly expected to see that here when the coworkers met her for the first time. It might’ve even been incorporated into the plot as Kate’s not being comfortable in Toby’s new world. But to do that, they would’ve had to accept that most people do not consider Kate’s weight to be normal and they are trying so hard to normalize it that they have moved beyond what’s really plausible in this regard. Quoting this because I can only like it once and think it deserves a lot more!

I had to read that line in your post several times before I figured out that it referred to Theo - because I completely forgot that Eddie is Theo’s father (perhaps he would like to forget too?). Caring enough to rush to the hospital, but then he left both Katherine and his own child with his friends while he went off to his girlfriend. He should’ve been the one to offer to spend the night in the house, or at least take Theo with him with promises to return in the morning - after making sure someone else would escort Katherine home and stay with her. And yeah: someone should call her mother. I really didn’t like that Eddie got Greta into Katherine’s room. I had no problem that he’s still her ICE contact - it makes sense that people who share a child would do that or even that it was oversight that she never changed it. But he had no idea who Greta is to Katherine. She could’ve been a crazy stalker or the coat check person with a crush. Just because he saw them in the coat room doesn’t mean they are in a relationship where Katherine would want her in the room. Go in, tell Katherine that someone named Greta is here and ask if she would like her to come in. And, maybe bring the kid in first.

Not a downstairs buff, but I just assumed it was because he was schooled in the new American ways of the nouveau riche rather than the traditional British ways of the old money.

According to frockflicks.com (an incredibly fun rabbit hole of a site with great recaps of this show from a fashion perspective ), the bustles of this period were actually smaller than portrayed. I like their analogy to jeans: “The early bustle shape, called the natural form, was very slim and body hugging. This started in the mid- to late 1870s and was going out of fashion by 1882. A rather architectural bustle that projected directly back from the body came in around 1883 and was popular until the end of the decade. (For reference, the first bustle style in the early 1870s, was much softer and rounder in shape.) While this may seem like nit-picky minutiae, it’s the same as following jeans fashions today, when boot-cut becomes passé and skinny jeans are all the rage. The most wealthy and fashionable people would know these trends — and The Gilded Age is chock full of wealthy and fashionable people!” https://www.frockflicks.com/the-gilded-age-2022-recap-episode-1/

As someone who has spent an inordinate amount of time trying to recreate beloved family recipes, I recommend: write them down NOW (sorry to yell). He may have watched you, but some day he’ll be muttering “was it shortening? Or lard? Or butter? Bacon or pancetta or guanciale? Vanilla, or brandy or rum? ” (I’m thinking the secret ingredient to the sugar pie was one of the latter). Write it down, even if the instruction is to add x “until it smells or looks right”. May he bless your memory regardless but writing down the recipes will help.

As soon as Katherine went down, I said to my husband that there are stories of toddlers who call 911 to save an unconscious parent, how much do you want to bet this idiot kid won’t know to do that? Greta also could’ve called herself, but I’ll handwave that and assume she would’ve in another minute once she made sure that the call wasn’t just dropped or something. And why would the ambulance people take Theo along? Usually the police come along with the ambulance - especially since the kid made the call and the dispatcher would’ve known there was a young child in the house - and would’ve kept him safe until they reached the other parent or Children’s Services. They don’t just take the kid along and dump him alone in the waiting room of the hospital. Cam is the sweetest - but most dense - guy in history. It was painful watching him wandering around the hospital spreading cheer to sick children while everyone was snickering in the waiting room.

My ex mother-in-law did a version of that to me with her son’s favourite cookie recipe. I kept asking her for the recipe & she finally - but very grudgingly - gave it to me when she ran out of excuses not to. I couldn’t get them right, though, and she resisted all my attempts to watch her make them (would whip up a batch when I was talking to FIL, for example. “Oh dear, I forgot you wanted to watch me”). Finally, I showed the recipe to a friend who was a good baker and she figured out that the recipe had doubled the leavening agent and left out something else (can’t remember exactly what now). Totally passive aggressive move, just like Rebecca’s mom. Why Rebecca would do the same thing is just out of character. I’m not seeing it either. I’d have a hard time watching my morbidly obese spouse feed my kid copious amounts of sugar too, holiday or no holiday. He shouldn’t have raised it at an extended family dinner, though. I tend to agree with Mary Cooper. Unhealthy as hell, but it makes all the difference to so many baked goods. They’ll die young, but their love will be true.

I’m very tired this morning - I read your post as saying that the lightbulbs were from Amazon. Your story is much better. If the Russells are based on the Vanderbilts, as appears pretty likely, then Mrs Vanderbilt actually did use Carrie Astor to break into Society. Putting in spoilers because it looks like this is indeed where they’re heading:

You’re not a lone voice of dissent. I didn’t like it either and am not entirely sure why. Too much “tell” rather than “show”, perhaps. I feel like he’s too animated and engaged and just periodically saying “I’m sad”, “I’m depressed”. I don’t know what exactly, but it’s mainly not working for me. On the other hand, that party was the most fraught ever! These people carry on like they’re still in high school (or Fleetwood Mac), continuing to socialize all in a group despite breakups and rivalries and even attempted murder. In my experience, grown ups tend not to hang out with recent exes unless forced to by events for mutual children or whatever. But it sure made for !drama! [small voice] I like Maggie and Gary together and was happy when they kissed. (Plus, it leaves the perfect Cam free for me :))

When my Jewish boss’s mother died, I phoned another Jewish friend to consult on etiquette. Her husband answered the phone and called out to her “it’s Trillian. Abe’s mother has died”. My friend practically screamed at me as she grabbed the phone from her husband “DON’T SEND FLOWERS!” I appreciated that, and all her other advice. That pissed me off. When the call taker found out she wasn’t breathing, she should’ve talked him through compressions, not just given up.

My cousin’s wife once introduced me as her cousin and I was momentarily taken back. Then I realized that I am not a Pearson and that this person didn’t need a full exposition of our family tree and just decided to be flattered she considered me part of her family. Then again, as you say, it’s often cultural - we’re Italian and tend not to make distinctions between degrees of relatives (he’s actually my second cousin, for example, but I’ve always just said and thought “cousin”). If they try that, it will go down in history as the worst ending since How I Met Your Mother. The brilliance of the SFU ending cannot be matched, and certainly not in the hands of these writers.

It was my post you quoted (don’t blame @azrealthecat!), and I really didn’t mean to start anything. I agree that Sophie used “Mrs” because she had done so from childhood; I also think the writers inserted it to emphasize how young she and Kevin still are. But I also think that such formalities are fading in society generally, (at least in my part of the world. - ymmv). It wasn’t that long ago that no polite person addressed an acquaintance by first name and that it was a sign of closeness and/or affection to be invited to do so. It’s not universal - some cultures and professions keep closer to the traditional ways - but I do think it’s a real trend.

Yeah, the best way to say “I’m sorry” is to relentlessly track the person down, including bothering all of her relatives. IRL, friend-whose-name-I’ve-forgotten would get a restraining order.

I loved that little touch! The Big Three may be the last generation to address their in-laws as Mr and Mrs (Ms/Dr/Rev/Your Honour). I thought it also highlighted how very young they were, that Mrs Kevin Pearson (should she choose to use that appellation) addressed Mrs Jack Pearson by title. Some of us old folk would never dream of calling a parent-in-law by first name, consider mom or dad to be too familiar (I have my own parents, thank you); Mother Pearson sounds like a religious title, and resort to Mr and Mrs - or, the ever-popular, Ummh.

I hadn’t seen it. The author said it better than I. Thanks

There is something very freeing about menopause. No period (or cramps or worrying about accidents). No birth control! But, it comes with so much more than a year, or more, of hot flashes and night sweats and crabbiness - although some women don’t get any of that. It’s a total, if gradual, change of one’s entire body. While every woman is different, it’s not uncommon for always-thin women to find themselves packing on the weight; hair and skin gets dull. Speaking of hair - welcome to the five o’clock shadow. You may not have to pluck your eyebrows anymore, but you have to pluck your chin. Vaginal dryness due to lack of estrogen. If you’ve had a baby, you will probably pee a bit when you laugh or cough and if you’re lucky, it’s only a bit. Etcetera etcetera. And somewhere along the line is the realization that you (if you’re blessed by genes, hard work/exercise and a team of federal makeup artists) no longer look good, but you now look good for your age. This episode was the one where they could have least touched on some of that. Could’ve played it for laughs, even, because, as my mother used to say “growing old is better than the alternative”. I’m disappointed that they didn’t even try.

Thank you for this. The line made me feel uncomfortable. I have a coworker who used to run a women’s shelter who has told me, more than once, that if people want to help, send money. Not canned goods, used clothes or unskilled labour (all of which will be accepted with a public smile, but often a private grimace). Money. They also serve who only stand and write cheques. I’m so sorry. I absolutely didn’t mean to shame any woman who had/has a hard time with tampons or who just doesn’t like them. The over-the-top hysterics just got to me — and I think most of can at least agree, they were too much. Why Charlotte couldn’t just tell Lily to wait until after their dinner, and why she persisted as her challah roasted to a crisp, is beyond me. Ontario, Canada, too. Although I’ve never seen it either. Again, oops and sorry. I knew as I was watching - and again while typing - that some women don’t start until mid to late teens. The thought even went through my mind when Lily started shrieking that it might be her first, but it quickly obvious from the context that it wasn’t. And I went downhill from there….

I am not at all surprised that these writers (a few of whom are women over 50) don't understand the actual definition of menopause. Carrie and Miranda of SATC -- who apparently now have passed the 12 months -- would not have hesitated to check Smug Charlotte by telling her "it ain't over 'til it's over!" Having women friends who are several years younger than me, I did have to explain perimenopause, which took them a bit by surprise in their late 40s. But they quickly did their research and understood the process. I do realize there are women who experience few hot flashes or other problems and act kind superior "Oh, it's been no big deal for me!" when their friends are frantically fanning and dealing with periods that go on for two weeks. I can see Charlotte being one of those women, but no, this is not the "menopause story line" we hoped to see. The whole subplot was totally pointless. I thought, at first, that it was going to be about that lovely trick Mother Nature plays on women - that many of us go through menopause while our daughters are entering puberty (although the men in our lives may very well claim it’s a trick played on them, as they weather the hormone storm in their home. ) Then, I realized that Lily is too old to be just starting. And, ok, it’s not as easy using a tampon for everyone, but the hysterics? Played for cheap laughs - and it wasn’t even funny. And Charlotte feels nothing about the end of her (technically) fertile years? The nuns in Agnes of God had a harder time of it than she. Lalala, no big deal. And, yeah, how does Charlotte not have a freaking clue about what to expect, and that it doesn’t just turn off like a faucet. I remember trading notes with the other middle-aged women in my office - women I didn’t necessarily know well (or even particularly like), but we were in the same age bracket and noticed the signs (like my secretary laughing hysterically at me when I would return from lunch, in the dead of a Canadian winter, carrying my coat and stripping off any other extraneous clothing and exclaiming “it’s so hot in here!) and we shared our experiences and warnings and emergency supplies of tampons and pads. And that’s co-workers, not friends of thirty years who see each other at least several times a week and tell each other everything. There were some real stories about women aging - and the camaraderie among women - that the show didn’t bother with. What a waste.

In Canada, it airs on tv Thursday evening, hence the confusion.

I really didn’t get what the big deal was. Why wouldn’t Lily want to use tampons? Is that a thing now? And I don’t remember it being difficult to get the hang of it. Maybe I’m a bad mom, but when my daughter started, I handed her the box, showed her the diagram in the package insert and just hovered outside the bathroom door for a couple of minutes. That’s more than my mom did. Somehow, we survived without hysterics. Steve is the sweetest guy ever, not only showing up but helping Carrie out too. Although, I’ve gotta say, I was worried for him the way Carrie was looking at him when he rescued the ring. I’m glad the show didn’t go there. Steve, sell the ring. And keep the money. Unlike Big, who didn’t voluntarily leave Carrie, Miranda treated you like something she scraped off her shoe. Carrie and her wedding ring reminded me of a poignant response Miss Manners once gave a widow on when to remove her wedding ring: [paraphrase but close] “a widow leaves her ring on when she still feels connected to the marriage; she removes it to signal that she is now open to new romance. Unfortunately, there is no way to deal with the perfectly normal desire to do both”. 😭

If the body’s found before the tattoo is lost to decomposition, and he’s identified by the tattoo, there are many sources of DNA that could make a positive identification, including surviving family members. (That’s assuming that they need the tattoo - it wouldn’t be much of a leap to inquire if the remains of a male found in a local park could be the man who disappeared nearby). Sometimes police can even locate medical samples that have not yet been destroyed. And, of course, he may have some legal trouble sometime in his past that resulted in a DNA sample taken. That’s in addition to the brush or razor and just off the top of my head. Once they know, or think they know, who it might be, phone records of calls and texts - which are kept by the phone provider regardless of whether the SIM cards were destroyed - would lead them to Shauna. Tower records up to the point where they turned off their phones would put Shauna in or near his apartment. In fact, the police would seek a warrant to get the numbers of everyone whose phone pinged off the towers nearest his apartment, and that could lead to Tai and Nat as well. I’ve read a lot search warrant applications and this isn’t just CSI stuff for once - it’s really done. Misty had the right idea but should’ve taken the torso as well.

Sure. As long as your fiancé agrees, why not? It just might not be advantageous to her - she might do better under existing divorce law than trying to save her assets from him than the other way around.