TVbitch

Dang, I wanted original Valerie back.

Ay yi yi. So damn bad and boring all the way around. Special WTF award for Chase handing Nelle's cellphone (the single most important piece of evidence in a kidnapping and attempted murder) over to Michael (as if he has the authority to do so) instead of logging it as evidence and giving it to the police tech guys who could crack the phone very quickly. (I know, I watch The First 48!) Of course Mikey guesses the passcode on the LAST POSSIBLE TRY!!! Then dashes off to find Nelle on his own, without alerting the cops, or anyone, thus putting his son in further danger. I'm sure Brooklyn just martyred her totally amazing singing career by trashing her vocal chords to tell Mikey about the GPS tracker, and now we will have to bear that god awful storyline. And Epiphany and Jason share a Hallmark moment, complete with her placing her hand over his heart. Stay golden Pony Boy. Ugh.

Are they going back to Willow being Nina's daughter? I hope not, but how can they possibly make it Nelle now that she kidnapped Wiley and nearly killed BL. She near if not reached totally irredeemable. This kidnapping thing is so fucking boring. I would have rather had the Nelle is Nina's daughter reveal at the trial. WTF with Sonny, Carly and Mikey waiting in the police lobby. Shouldn't Sonny be mobilizing Brick and all his other people to find Nelle. WTF with Taggert STILL skulking around the docks after his totally stupid, out in the open meeting with Jordan. As if Cyrus wouldn't be keeping tabs on Jordan.

Shouldn't the FBI or Federal Marshals show up at some point and start investigating this shit?! So Beth's big revenge against her old boss was to call in an anonymous sexual harrassment tip? And here I thought Jaime's dad might turn out to be a likeable guy who made a horrible mistake and paid his dues. ...but I guess everyone on this show has to be homocidally derranged! Josh's hair can look good, he is just getting older and maybe needs some extensions to fill it out now. He should be dead soon though, since Dutton now knows he is Roarke.

Damn. Tears for Callie. If they do another all stars, she better be there. Roland is legend. It was not always comfortable viewing, but he is the only one I have seen on this show that I believe could actually live out there year round. I don't mind Roland's dark nature. He is a lone wolf who believes life is one long tragedy, while Callie believes in the connection and beauty of everything. I can understand both. I would totally watch Roland and Callie on an episode of Naked and Afraid! : D

Ding Dong is annoying. But it kind of seems like an interjection she has probably used (and annoyed people with) her whole life and not just something she thinks is cool for the show. At least I hope so! In general, I like the judges of UK competition shows much more than those in the US. The judges of The Great British Sewing Bee and The Great Pottery Throwdown are my favorites. Both wonderful shows.

Why are they making it seem like everyone is about to cheat on everyone?! Dustin, Ava, Franco, Liz, Nik, Olivia, Curtis, and now Nina giving goo goo eyes to Valentine AGAIN. I don't know what the rumor was with KeMo and masks, but if she recently had a bunch of filler put in, it's possible that the pressure a mask puts on the face might screw it up, so she had to let it settle first. Still waiting for Jason to be mad at her for getting Michael fired!

I thought I was gonna get off easy on the violence having just started watching this season, but, doh! That was pretty damn gruesome. Josh H was super hot and charming as Sawyer on Lost, but I was surprised when he debuted here, all these years later, with the exact same hair style. Give the man an update! It almost seems like they brought him on as a romantic spoiler for Beth and Rip then decided not to go through with it and didn't know what to do with him. Disappointing. I hope this show wraps up in the next couple seasons, because the longer it goes, the more preposterous it will get. The body count seems pretty high at this point. Take a nod from UK series. Tell your story and let it end on a high.

Well if Jason and Sam are going to break up (a girl can dream) then I do want it to be KeMo so I can thoroughly enjoy it and see how she goes about playing forlorn when she pretty much has the vapors on a good day. If Dante does come back, I hope they do not put him back with Lulu. But there are not a lot of ladies on the canvas to put him with. I wouldn't mind having Valerie back.

Maybe the portrait looks like Heather's fake Franco sandwich paintings. ...or did I dream that. Why is Liz acting like the unveiling is a Hollywood red carpet event with all kinds of press and photogs and crap. It's like 6 people in a room.

Roland is so rock steady. But I also felt bad for that poor little squirrel crying over the loss of its food stash. The mushrooms won't amount to any calories for Roland (maybe a few nutrients and some flavor). All that smoke inside would be a deal-killer for me. That sucks for Kielyn. And she is still living meal to meal. I fear she can't last much longer. Callie is still all smiles. Really hope she is a winner.

To be fair, he could not possibly be bothered with something so trivial when he just got his first real shot at getting in Willow's pants. I swear if they SORAS Wiley but bring back Original Recipe Spencer, at some point Wiley and Donna will be older than Spencer!

Ugh, Gwen is back as a judge this fall. Can't stand her and her "I want a cute girl to dress up" schtick. Plus I find Blake less humorous and charming when she is around. Not to mention having coaches who are engaged creates a conflict of interest. So given that, plus the fact that it will be mostly/all Zoom, I think I will skip a season.

Really? The jeweler looks at an inexpensive, pedestrian silver heart and can hell who cut it in half 25 years ago. I think not. Just let this endless plot be over and start Nelle's redemption arc already! Why do these people burst into Mike's room talking verdicts and custody battles? Do they not think this might cause him confusion and distress?!

Finally finished the season. Either the quality of the teams is not what it used to be, or they need to give them more time, cuz there were so many unfinished or sloppy bakes this year. I watch to see the wonderful creations, not too see people crying cuz they are unable to do their best in the alotted time! Still, an enjoyable show. I like the judges, but the hosts not so much. I still don't know what Liam is doing there! : D

So the serial killer's super secret killing ground is right off what looked like a well traveled/maintained dirt road and nobody found it all this time? This show is pretty Shakespearean, I hope it has a dark ending.

Jesus God, what does Sonny do, wander around town telling anyone and everyone about his narcisstic man pain. First he over-shared to baby Donna, now to Brando. I bet he tells the cashier at Whole Foods when they ask how his day is going. When Brando broke out with the tragic story of Smokey the doomed not-good-enough-to-be-a-race horse, and Mo tried to squeeze out a tear, I actually started laughing.

I kept wondering what the best strategy would have been for Amos. Should he set off his bear gun and scare the shit out of the wolves, or strike them with his bunny darts like he did the fox. Shouldn't he do something to make them fear him?! It's not the same, but one time I got lost while hiking, with no cell cignal. It got cold and dark, I had no supplies or water left, and was in shorts and a tank. I stayed calm the whole 12 hours I kept hiking. When I finally found a road, only then did I freak the fuck out and start crying and rejoicing at the same time, so I understood where Kielyn was coming from. She knew her survival hinged on that fish. For those who avoid the aftershow, it was really good for this episode, and I don't feel it gave anything anyway.

What the Bryan Ferry is going on atop Michael's head?! : D I guess now Sam will have to sell her voting rights cuz she will need to be (second in line) at Jason's bedside. Maxie is maybe not dying her hair cuz she is pregnant. Have she ever just gone brunette?

Um, Sonny might want to read "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" to the baby instead of unloading on the baby about his father's end of life issues. I do enjoy a sweaty shaggy Al Pacino Dog Day Afternoon lookin' Dante. I hope he is coming back. So, the only thing that happened during the break was that Olivia became totally unreasonable? Really? "It's just a company?" Ned is supposed to toss it to the curb and devote himself to your Dante pain.

She was ready. I hope the rehab gave her some skills to help her deal with being without a partner, cuz she needs to be single for a while.

Just binged season 13. For sure, Korina was not the most humble and likeable person in the world, but I was shocked that she got booted before Char. Karina's look was not nearly as bad as Char's in that last challenge, and Sean totally steered Char to the win in the one-hour face off challenge. Char never won a single challenge (for good reason) and she was just not on par with the others designers, including Karina. Kini and Sean said it in their talking heads, it was only Karina that said it outloud. Tim used his save on Char cuz he liked her. Then he gave her the extra 10 minutes in the other challenge and Char was put into the finals even though that last challenge did not merit it. Char seems like a lovely, well-liked person, but if I was Karina, I would probably be pissed off too. Karina should have stuck gone in the direction of her Native American designs which were super cool, but the judges wrongly steered her away from. I was perplexed.

Finally finished up the show. Some fun characters. They all seemed to really want to cook to the best of their abilities. The blind gentleman was so amazing, how does he even do all that without cutting or burning himself?! It was very inspiring watching him navigate the team and restaurant challenges. I'm also glad they introduced his sighted helpers. When the winner was introduced as a youtube sensation, I was like, UGH!!!!! But he turned out to be a great guy who really had a passion for cooking, and it clearly meant the world to him to be on the show, so good on him. I've still got the Bake Off: The Professionals finale to savor, but then my cookery programs will have run dry. So if anyone has any recommendations, let me know. I did find one place that has a bunch of old season of MCs from around the world, so if you want that, PM me. Can't wait for MC UK: The Professionals this fall!!

I thought for sure the husband would have at least have hired the guy to do it, cuz he was just such a dry tears, crime scene defiling, red herring throwing, cheating piece of shit. He was the kind of guy who immediately turns your stomach, before you know anything about him. I still think even if he didn't have anything to do with the murder of his wife, he was relieved to have her taken off his hands. The TV guy said he was totally ignoring her, and he admitted to having an affair ...but, you know, what was the poor guy to do, his wife had gained a bit of weight from her depression medication and hadn't had sex with him in weeks. WEEKS, y'all!

Jim Carey is exhausting. It reminds me of Robin Williams' super manic energy during most interviews, which I suspect is some kind of cover up to the real personality underneath.