Oldernowiser

Okay so it’s always bugged me that Sam looks like someone but I couldn’t figure out who...it’s Edward G. Robinson. Give Sam a cigar and a gat...it’s uncanny!

I vote for “burned”...

Her hips look like they’re a foot wider than her shoulders. Yikes.

Well, the meter still hasn’t expired on Jubilee, so...

That whole post reeks of desperation. “Remember back before my husband turned out to be a molester and cheating crapbag? Remember???? REMEMBER!!????”

“As I stand here before the earthly remains of MY wife’s grandmother, I am reminded of MY own child and MY brilliant insights gleaned from MY reading of MY custom-made bible while wearing MY Prada shoes and Brooks Brothers sweater and I would encourage you, the grieving and the joyful alike, to join ME in heartfelt praise of how great I look standing up here.”

“But enough about me. What did you think about my sermon? Great, hunh? Did I show you my pocket square? Books! I have lots of them! Notice my shoes? Sometimes I wear socks that match my faux flower boutonnière. Sometimes I contrast...I’m a trendsetter that way. Cute baby pictures! See, in this one she looks like me. In this one she looks even more like me. Or maybe it’s this one...which one do you think makes her look more like me...wait, where are you going? Masturbation! Did I tell you that’s bad?” COMPLETELY exhausting.

Wonder how old she’ll be when she gets her first inkling that Daddy is one giant empty suit.

Translation: Me! Me! It’s all about me!

Oh. I got confused because she looks older. And I got so excited about anyone Duggar or adjacencies having a charitable cause that wasn’t themselves that I confess I might have just skimmed. That and over-long paragraphs make my head hurt.

Excellent cause. Hideous outfit. But good for Deanna.

Those pants are $48???? That’s the cheapest rayon crap there is and they paid some third world child maybe 50 cents to slap them together in five minutes. They don’t even have a waistband. That’s appalling.

Damn. They’re going to have to burn that couch.

Dumbshit.

It was a wig. As soon as her episiotomy heals up, Jessa is going to kill her.

I don’t really know...I suspect per capita we have more pools in this country because there’s lots of land and having a pool was (and maybe still is in some places) something of a cultural aspiration at some point. Also it’s nasty hot in much of the country certain times of the year. So...more pools, more accidents. IIRC they actually sell alarms that go off whenever something or someone gets in the pool. But you’d have to buy it, set it, and think ahead. Not in the Duggardome skill set.

So it’s apparent that in the fucked up warped Duggar worldview, babies are God’s merit badges. So by extension, since God sent this stamp of approval, they expect the births to be quick and easy? The Celestial Amazon Prime? I just keep trying to figure out why they keep doing this. At some point, unless EMTs and emergency admissions are super cheap in Arkansas, it would be easier and less expensive to dunno, go to the hospital when you’re having a baby. At this point, if I’m running emergency services there, the Duggars get charged triple.

So I went back and looked closely at the blonde photos and that could have heen a wig. Her hair normally lies very flat at the top of her head and she has a very high forehead...in those photos her “hair” was higher and lower, respectively, It would be pretty amusing if Jessa’s baby and Jill’s sex advice were upstaged by a fake-out.

I so want to see Austin take a big old handful of axle grease and hurl it at Jeremy’s shiny new ensemble...

Or they’re suck-up photos...no way Reverend FancyPants has got the kind of money he will want to live stylishly in LA. He may be hitting up the in-laws...grifting from the grifters.

Not lying, technically! They really should have this in a cross stitch above the TTH faux fireplace...

Yes.

So I’m dark. I admit it. But what I saw in Sam’s photo was him taking a “what the fuck, people???” gesture to the next level. You can almost always count on Sam to have some kind of WTF going on. Which is why he’s my favorite.

Something’s going on. Her face is rounder and her lack of fucks to give about the hair could be morning sickness + toddler + temporary living situation = screw it. Or Reverend FancyPants is just hogging the mirror. It’s collapsed into her shoulders and boobs, all of which are sinking into her hips. She’s a human armadillo now.

Is it wrong that I’m hoping hands will shoot up out of the graves and grab their ankles?