John M

Can I just say how much I hate that? I work in an office of about 20 people and every couple of weeks a card treated with a secrecy level normally reserved for the Coke formula. Tom knows he is getting a card and everyone in the office will be obligated to sign it, this isn't the CIA, just leave it by the coffee maker in the kitchen. As for the Whit living situation, do none devoutly religious (arguably independent) adults NOT live together before marriage these days? I thought that was just a thing you sorted out before you walked down the aisle.

I mean this seems like a running theme on this show and sadly for many marriages. "You complete me", my deficiencies are your strengths, we are going to make everything work together, this will be different once we are married! As a married person that wasn't allowed to get married until very recently, I'm a big proponent of marriage. I think I would be an absolute wreck going through the pandemic if I wasn't in a stable marriage with my husband, but the thing is, both people have to be functional adult humans independently before you team up for something better, two drowning people can not save each other.

I was laid off a few years ago and both my parents (Which, BTW, were not supporting me, I was already living with my now husband and was easily able to cover my expenses with unemployment given our cohabitation ) insisted that I need to just storm in the front door of say KPMG and demand to be hired as a manager. Just absolutely convinced that if I just took more initiative a well paying job would just land in my lap because of my moxie. Even after I shortly found new employment my father insisted that if I was to rise in my position, I needed to be the first one in the office every morning and the last one to leave and make sure my boss KNEW IT! I manage a government contract for a non-profit, even pre-COVID I would go DAYS in between seeing my boss, who works on the other side of the campus. My in-laws are insisting similarly about brother-in-law that was recently laid off from his corporate job There seems to be some bizarre fever dream from the 60+ crowd that the 20-40 something white collar worker can just manifest more money by just putting more hours doing work in Excel or pouring over the legislation that defines the role of my contract. Nope, I'm pretty much just an inelastic cost center, my boss pats me on my head once a year in my performance review for not fucking anything up.

People aren't entitled to be addressed by fake honorifics just because the are older. It's great for teaching kids their place in the world or recognizing genuine achievements in our related professional fields, like on the rare occasion I personally interact with our CEO I call her by her first name, I refer to our medical director as Dr. X. Sorry, but no, my in-laws are professionally, educationally and socially my peers, I ever never called them Mr & Mrs. X nor have they ever expected me to.

They aren't joining a family, they are creating a new family. It's why inheritances are most often not considered community property even in community property states, or why parents most often don't continue to have medical access and decision making privileges in the case of the incapacitated married child, or the spouse can't do the same for their incapacitated in-law or claim part of their estate in the event of death. Your idea sounds nice and all, but it is legally and societally not correct, they are not joining your family at all, they are allowing access to their at their pleasure, not yours.

I honestly do not believe Buddy ever had a powdered cocaine addiction. As someone that works in social services and in a previous, much more glamorous life, snorted a LOT of cocaine as well as knowing a large number of people that did the same, it's statistically speaking a pretty rare addiction that requires a LOT more money to sustain that Buddy ever had. As a gateway addiction? Sure, lots of people start off with snorting powdered cocaine and move into injecting coke or smoking crack, or often, doing meth, it certainly fuels alcohol addiction, all sorts of life problems, but an actual addiction to snorting cocaine? Yeah, I don't believe it for a second. I absolutely believe Buddy was a hardcore alcoholic and probably snorted cocaine on occasion, but the way he says it, it's like almost wanting to brag as it is largely seen as a kind of glamorous and expensive form of the drug more associated with high functioning people and not fat barely employed deadbeat alcoholics. Snorting cocaine is just, a stupidly poor/expensive delivery mechanism if you are trying to be high on cocaine and not just using it socially in amounts that allow you to party, which is what Buddy keeps suggesting he was doing, and, again, very rare for people that are actually strongly addicted to cocaine.

Huh, I hadn't noticed that, but it is weird. Maybe I'm weird but do many people refer to their SO or spouse by their full name instead of just first name or whatever pet name something like a phone entry? My husband called me by my first name in the house like 6 months ago and I remember thing, wow, what's up with that? I don't even remember the last time he didn't call me by his pet name for me.

Tal is gay, in his mid/late 30's, in recovery, in a long term serious relationship, is a full-time social worker, lives in a different city. I don't believe they spend any meaningful time together outside of this show.

Ryan's face in Paris was a genuine "WTF dude? This is too far, did you really agree to do this?" and Chase was like "I know! I can't believe it myself but it's what the show told me to do!"

Every moment of Chase with Whitney was just so cringeful, there is zero chemistry or affection on the part of Chase with Whitney. It's like he resents every moment he is forced to be around her.

OK, a few points on this: Cellphones and cell service are actually remarkably cheap in developing countries. Secondly you have to keep in mind that while in the US it is common for people, even lower income people, to have an array of internet connected devices, (e.g. Tablet, Desktop, Cellphone, Home Internet), for many poor people both in the US and abroad, their cellphone is their device. It's their computer, it's their internet, it's their telephone, their music, their TV). I hate the stigma in the US that low income/unhoused populations get for having "smartphones" like it is some decadent luxury. I bet most of us higher income people with cellphones don't really think of them as luxuries, even if they were expensive, we mostly thing of them as essential devices required to remain employed/employable, but we act like unhoused people don't have appointments that they need to keep track of and important emails too? I bet if we took every single one of your electronic devices away from you but your cellphone you would have a pretty banging cellphone.

There really aren't any good reasons for routine circumcision, In rare cases it is medically necessary and some adult men do it for aesthetic or religious reasons. The two other reasons, hygiene and HIV prevention are, not good reasons, generally speaking. GENERALLY it is not dangerous, although there are cases of genital disfigurement or in some cases, even amputation. I don't think it is any worse a decision that my step-sister deciding to have her child undergo an otoplasty. The only real reason is that a circumcised penis is considered "normal" in certain cultures and it can prevent embarrassment in situations of communal nudity or sexual partners. OK, I know it seems like I have really strong opinions on circumcision, I actually don't, but I have a history in public health and HIV in particular and it is a bit of a touchy subject. Statistically circumcision reduces the chances of transmission of HIV from a receptive partner to an insertive partner, but it becomes really messy when you start talking about the idea of consent and if permanently modifying someone's genitals for a small reduction in HIV transmission. PrEP and condoms do a much better job at preventing HIV transmission than circumcision but also circumcision is a one time reduction in risk while condoms and PrEP have to be used properly consistently. All of this gets a lot messier in this context because a bunch of white people have tried circumcision campaigns to prevent HIV in black people in Africa, often with, not great informed consent and favoring it over other possibly more productive interventions and education measures that often came very close if not crossing the line into arguments that black Africans could not be trusted to properly use condoms or give truly informed consent. My general sense is few adult men have any thoughts regarding if they are circumcised or not, but it is a permanent medical procedure that can always be done as an adult or only if it is deemed medically necessary. Any now you have way too much information on circumcision from a person that has heard way too many battles over circumcision in the context of public health and HIV.

I mean, it is silly to a lot of people for good reason, it is in fact antithetical to her closest expressed religious beliefs. My personal view is it is a silly hill to die on, as someone that doesn't hold those beliefs, it's just some water. But do you have any idea how many marriages explode because one partner hid how closely or irreverently they pretended what they said were their sincere religious beliefs were? They need to discuss this.

And then a year later you have a child cheap purse hoarder. I thought one of the primary child to adult transition lessons is understanding that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It's why most of us can manage to go to the grocery store without loading up with candy and cake, regardless of our dreams as a child in a grocery store when no one could tell us no.

No, the best one will always be her on skis, screaming and begging for help from the camera crew and the crew is like, is this a nature documentary? Are we supposed to interfere or just keep filming?

Since Deaven is all about "tradition", maybe she should ask where her daddy's checkbook is or STFU.

All I can think is, Deaven, you aren't a fucking princess, you are married, you got knocked up by two losers at this point, you don't get a fairytale. Sorry, you made your choices, Princesses don't get knocked up by shiftless losers.

See, I kind of hate this framing. Armando and Kenny get to decide if they accept Armondo's parents too. I have a very limited relationship with my father and his family because they won't acknowledge that I am married and took my husband's name. Doesn't keep me up at night. At risk of sounding overly harsh, this is the reality of many of us in the queer community, it hurts, but there is marriage equality in Mexico and Armando is an adult that gets to choose his own life and family. As Dan Savage often says, as queer adult children our only leverage over our adult parents is our presence, if our parents want to abandon us because of who we are, they can go fuck themselves, that is their choice, not ours. I really hate that the framing is what parents will or will not accept. No, whatever my father thinks, I am legally married and share a last name with my husband who I have as an autonomous adult, decided to build a life with, one that I am incredibly happy in. It's not my responsibility to get him to accept the truth, I'm not any less married because he disagrees with it. edit: Also, I doubt that the grandparents have a custody arrangement with their granddaughter and they seem to love her quite a lot so if they wish to maintain that relationship with their grandchild I suggest they decide to treat their son's marriage with the respect that it deserves because they have made it clear that she will be raised with two dads and I assure you that Armando will not be choosing his parents homophobia over his daughter and his husband.

Forgive me if I am way behind on this observation, but I feel like I have finally cracked the formula of this show: Working human marriages understand that it is partnership between two well adjusted, independently functional adults deciding to work together to balance each out with their acknowledged faults/weaknesses/strengths and capitalize on reductions in costs from co-habitation because they fundamentally value each other and they believe they are greater as a sum than as self-sufficient independent adults. Unless I am missing something the entire premise of this show it is two completely dysfunctional non-independent persons attempting to stay above water by finding another drowning person to climb on top of and pretending that it is a healthy relationship because they have marriage certificate or will soon. Like why do any of these people want to be together? It's not difficult to be in a terrible relationship or get married, the former involves a phone app and the later involves like an hour tops of paperwork. I spent more time getting my tires replaced than signing over half of my assets to my husband.

I don't know what Deavan even wants? She married an uneducated shiftless loser who is quite content with his circumstances. I don't know what to tell you Deavan, some people spend their entire lives working as janitors and die penniless in shitty studio apartments, never once showing even any ambition at becoming even lead janitor because they don't want the responsibility. Sorry, I think that is who you picked to have a child with and marry? You can't browbeat him into a middle management job at Samsung.

It wasn't any of those, it's just a sound that periodically emanates from Florian. It's not well understood, these is some speculation that it might be related to hunger for, things.

Am I missing something about the timeline of Gorggggggiiiii? Haven't they been together like, a couple of weeks?

God this whole thing was such a pathetic mess I don't even know where to start but did Florian murder and eat a 80 year old woman and wear her statement necklace AND MATCHING BRACELET and low cut top as a trophy? Honestly I am starting to feel really bad that I don't feel bad for these two profoundly mental broken women being taken advantage of by Sharp for this trainwreck.

Does anyone have a clue what Darcey & Stacey like, do? We know they stopped working on their clothing line because they were too busy chasing love because despite everyone I know that is married managing to find their spouse while holding gainful employment, apparently online dating men in Europe precludes employment. So, like, what fills their day? It's certainly not being good parents or any notable hobbies. Do they just spend all day getting tanked at wine bars creepily hitting on any 20 year old that they think looks like they might not be from the US?

I think we need to separate being fat from Twit's problem. Fat people can be relatively healthy and happy and be in meaningful relationships. I know plenty of happy fat people in long term relationships, plenty of fat people that have sex all the damn time. I know thin people in horrible health, the issue is not that Whit is fat. The issue is Whit is disabled by her weight, she can not live the life she wants to live because of her weight, she can not practice self-care, her weight prevents her from interacting with society, etc, etc. I don't mean that in an ablest way, it's just the truth, her choice and/or addictions have put her in a life that she doesn't want to live in. She can either accept that, which is 100% her choice or change, but she does not get to be "fabulous" by her own standards because of mood boards and Instagram posts.