The Many Sides of Jane - General Discussion

[Guest]

Premieres on A&E on January 22nd. 

From their press release:

Quote

A&E Network’s new, six-part original docu-series “Many Sides of Jane” will explore what life is really like for one young woman living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder, as she juggles parenting her two young boys and navigating her complicated relationship with her mother and her past. This is the first series of its kind that showcases this disorder in such an intimate light. Jane graciously allows cameras into her private day-to-day life, including her intense therapy sessions, to capture every moment as new memories emerge helping Jane as she continues to unlock mysteries surrounding DID and her childhood trauma that caused it. “Many Sides of Jane” premieres on Tuesday, January 22 at 10PM ET/PT on A&E.

[7isBlue]

DID and Multiple Personality Disorder are not real. This chick is just another con artist looking for her 15 minutes. Shes not even a good actress. She’s in the category of psychics and mediums, except that instead of inflicting her BS on gullible adults, she’s victimizing her poor kids. Ugh. 

[bref]

Well, some people think gender dysphoria isn't real either. Unless you're prepared to show some credentials, I will take your opinion with a grain of salt.

[Quilt Fairy]

I certainly found the first episode odd.  This is a young 28yo mother who's apparently not working, so I wonder about her financial situation.  She has an apartment, a nanny/babysitter for the kids, and goes to therapy 3 times a week.   Those things take money. And I especially wonder why she's spending more time concerned about her dating life than her 3 kids.  Maybe it's just a weird edit.

[fountain]

I found it odd too. There are young kids so I found it weird the focus on dating. Why not get yourself healthier first?

I spent time wondering if she “changed” to one the young kids in the car would she then not be able to drive?

On a shallow note, the teenager is better at makeup and hair lol.

I found it interesting the hiding of the parts from others as I wondered how people wouldn’t notice their friend or coworker just change to acting 4. The fact that the parts “hide” It is interesting that Jane’s mom has met any of the parts, IDK you think a parent would know. My ex-BIL is bipolar and you could tell when a major manic episode was building for him, you couldn’t do much about it as he didn’t listen to advice but you could prepare yourself for the “bomb” that was about to go off.

[msrachelj]

boy does this feel like bull shit. wtf! we have fake "mentally ill" people, fake psychics, friggin' reality tv is ruining peoples minds. yes, i watch , very little, of it. very little . but i do it for the entertainment and to watch the morons make fools of themselves. i have a hard time believing this girl has did , if there is such a thing. at least not , how many different personalities in one person? shouldn't she be in a mental health facility getting some serious help , how in God's name is she capable of raising 2 children? 

[sara416]

On 1/15/2019 at 10:44 PM, 7isBlue said:

DID and Multiple Personality Disorder are not real. This chick is just another con artist looking for her 15 minutes. Shes not even a good actress. She’s in the category of psychics and mediums, except that instead of inflicting her BS on gullible adults, she’s victimizing her poor kids. Ugh. 

Would love to know where you get the information that DID is not real. MPD is no longer a diagnosis because it has changed names to DID. 

5 hours ago, msrachelj said:

boy does this feel like bull shit. wtf! we have fake "mentally ill" people, fake psychics, friggin' reality tv is ruining peoples minds. yes, i watch , very little, of it. very little . but i do it for the entertainment and to watch the morons make fools of themselves. i have a hard time believing this girl has did , if there is such a thing. at least not , how many different personalities in one person? shouldn't she be in a mental health facility getting some serious help , how in God's name is she capable of raising 2 children? 

Because DID is not like you see it portrayed in the movies. She's not killing people and not rapid cycling through different personalities. That's not how DID works. If you can be in control of your triggers, which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her not to be raising her children. Until she is proven to be a danger to them, I don't see any reason why she can't raise them. And she IS getting treatment, that's why there were scenes at the doctor's office. DID is perfectly capable of being treated in an outpatient setting. 

[msrachelj]

15 hours ago, sara416 said:

Would love to know where you get the information that DID is not real. MPD is no longer a diagnosis because it has changed names to DID. 

Because DID is not like you see it portrayed in the movies. She's not killing people and not rapid cycling through different personalities. That's not how DID works. If you can be in control of your triggers, which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her not to be raising her children. Until she is proven to be a danger to them, I don't see any reason why she can't raise them. And she IS getting treatment, that's why there were scenes at the doctor's office. DID is perfectly capable of being treated in an outpatient setting. 

so her partying or 5 year old personality is guaranteed to never come out while she is with her children? 

[Mayaleigh]

Came here hoping to read thoughtful opinions on the show. DID is 100% real. Do your research. 

 

I found the show fascinating and Jane’s mother’s willful ignorance infuriating and heartbreaking.  I imagine her lack of empathy and interest hinders Jane’s progress. 

Writing is on the wall that Jane’s father is one of the abusers.  That poor child. I hope she gets the help she needs. 

[sara416]

1 hour ago, msrachelj said:

so her partying or 5 year old personality is guaranteed to never come out while she is with her children? 

Guaranteed? No, of course not. But mental illness does not mean you cannot be a parent. If we took children away from every parent who had a mental illness, our foster care system would be even more over run and broken than it already is. Clearly she has proven in court and otherwise that she is capable of taking care of her children, otherwise there would be involvement from the state. It seems like her nanny is a huge part of her life as well, and knows about her diagnosis. Until her children are in danger or neglected, she can have her children.

[Badsamaritan]

On 1/25/2019 at 1:13 PM, sara416 said:

Guaranteed? No, of course not. But mental illness does not mean you cannot be a parent. If we took children away from every parent who had a mental illness, our foster care system would be even more over run and broken than it already is. Clearly she has proven in court and otherwise that she is capable of taking care of her children, otherwise there would be involvement from the state. It seems like her nanny is a huge part of her life as well, and knows about her diagnosis. Until her children are in danger or neglected, she can have her children.

I mean, she was granted sole custody after the divorce, she said that herself. I'd imagine that if she had done stuff to endanger them, that would've been brought up by her ex-husband and the court system. 

And after being raised by a bipolar mother who was rarely medicated and never in therapy, Jane at least appears to be a hundred times better mother than my own already. 

[Spiderella2]

After watching the 2nd episode, she seems quite high functioning for me. She has unique ways to care for her amnesiac moments with Madison, and all her parts care for her kids. The younger parts tend to not come out when she’s with the kids, which he is why she has a nanny. 

Re financial: I suspect her family may be helping her some, either her ex through child support, and she may get paid for her public speaking engagements/activism and/or be on disability. I would imagine it would be quite hard to hold down a regular job with this condition. She seems to be financially stable. Madison seems more in charge with the kids than even Jane is. But she got so stressed out at the toy store, which is why she switched back to Jane. I can see her affect change with each of her parts. 

I can already see a huge disconnect with how reality is for those with DID versus Hollywood portrayals. Mental illness is often misunderstood and people tend to make wild assumptions. I believe her and her story and have no reason to think otherwise as of now. I’ve met someone with DID in the past (he had only 5 alters), and I see a lot of similarities in their history. 

Has anyone been able to dig up the source of her childhood trauma? It must be a male relative, I’m thinking either her father, grandfather, uncle, brother, cousin, or some other related male. Jane seems very protective of not naming the person who caused her trauma, (I believe in episode 1 she stated it was more than 1 person). Thus, it stands to reason that she must be somehow related to them. I believe she told her mom when she was a child, but her mom either didn’t believe her, or didn’t do anything about it. This must be the source of conflict with her mom. The mom may even still have a relationship with her abuser(s), I suspect. Where is her dad?

All the identities range from 5 years old up to 19, then the oldest Madison who is 28 (I’m thinking that must be related to her either visiting her old homestead, or running into the abuser during holidays, or caused by her ex-husband). To go through so much abuse that your brain creates identities to protect you, it must  be truly horrible things she went through. I just have compassion for her and all others who suffer this way. As the expert psychiatrist said, society often does not want to acknowledge DID because to do so would make them have to acknowledge that horrible traumatic abuse happens to innocent children. 

Edited January 30, 2019 by Spiderella2
Spelling

[fountain]

I find the 10 year old the most “off” so to speak. I have a 9 year-old daughter myself and the 10 year-old I would guess was 4-5 based on the babyish behaviour. Maybe it is because her parts  are based on recalling what is was like at 10? Maybe it just because she changes her voice and whispers.

I like Madison, I think she parents the boys well. It was interesting to hear her say Jane gets more stressed looking after the kids.

I felt bad for Jane and Madison with the stuff with the mom. So the mom cannot tell the difference between how Jane is and Madison is? How can you walk in on abuse but still deny it?

It was pretty interesting how Jane rolled into the conversation and just sort of faked she knew what her mom was talking about until she could catch up. I cannot believe the mom couldn’t see a difference as even without all that weird music shit you could tell by Jane’s face that she was “what is going on here?” I kind of wish they didn’t do all that weird music and camera stuff so we could see the change more naturally and not be “told”.

[Badsamaritan]

11 hours ago, fountain said:

I cannot believe the mom couldn’t see a difference as even without all that weird music shit you could tell by Jane’s face that she was “what is going on here?” I kind of wish they didn’t do all that weird music and camera stuff so we could see the change more naturally and not be “told”.

I think that's probably part of the whole denial she has going about what happened to Jane. To acknowledge her other parts, that would probably mean she's acknowledging the horrific abuse Jane suffered and her own failures as the parent, and she doesn't seem to want to confront that yet. 

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Badsamaritan said:

I think that's probably part of the whole denial she has going about what happened to Jane. To acknowledge her other parts, that would probably mean she's acknowledging the horrific abuse Jane suffered and her own failures as the parent, and she doesn't seem to want to confront that yet. 

Yeah it doesn’t seem like keeping a relationship with the mom is good for Jane’s mental health progress. Look at how the mom tried to deny the abuse but knew the show would have been told things so she didn’t want to outright deny it. The mom is a piece of work.

[KeeperOfTheIce]

On 1/23/2019 at 3:41 PM, Quilt Fairy said:

I certainly found the first episode odd.  This is a young 28yo mother who's apparently not working, so I wonder about her financial situation.  She has an apartment, a nanny/babysitter for the kids, and goes to therapy 3 times a week.   Those things take money. And I especially wonder why she's spending more time concerned about her dating life than her 3 kids.  Maybe it's just a weird edit.

She probably is “disabled” and gets a disability check every month along with Medicaid.  Once someone is disabled there are programs out there where a caretaker can be paid by the state to help the disabled person. 

My aunt is paid by the state to help take care of her disabled granddaughter. 

She certainly is not living above her means by the looks of her apartment. 

Edited February 3, 2019 by KeeperOfTheIce

[Spiderella2]

What a weird episode. This explains why she is not currently working, and is probably on medical disability. It’s so sad that a job that 2 alters think is a “dream job” turns out to be literal hell for the younger alters who are triggered by the bartender in the first hour of her new job. I wonder how Jane quit...now that would have been intriguing to see. This stuff is so believable and tragic to me, it could not be fiction. 

At times, Jane uses her alters just like they use her body. You really got to see how the stronger alter in that moment exerts control, and why Jane is at constant war with her mind, feelings, and emotions. She intentionally brought Alexis forward on the visit to her mom’s  apartment to keep,the convo light and airy; but then hates Alexis’impulsiveness, constant need for attention, and narcissistic tendencies. Alexis’ personality and knowledge of wines, beers, and liqueurs helped her land the job, while at th same time,  Alexis’ is also her nemesis in a way, (besides that random $80 shopping spree and the horrendous wrist tattoo), in the past she was the one with most of the risky behaviors. 

 A new alter, did anyone hear about Jerry before? Jerry is androgynous and stores all the anger. I just imagine him/her as a goth punk 19 yr old with the dark makeup, dark leather, dark fingernails, all angsts and anger. Jerry came out because Jane was angry that in order to fix Alexis debauched tattoo (either now or in the future), she would have to shell out $2,000, money she probably doesn’t just have laying around, and money she would prefer  to use for her kids. I’m sure the show will probably pay for it, just to film it. However, Jane who is more pragmatic, would rather get the $2000 cash instead of a tattoo coverup because as much as the tattoo bothers her, $2,000... that is rent and groceries for another few months providing financial stability for her family. 

Prior Trauma Tidbit (PTT): When Jane talked about the bartender, and how the younger alters freaked out, she said “he reminded them of one of their abusers, one of the guys ‘from church’.”

Did I catch that right? What could that mean? 

[zoltana]

This is the first episode where I really got the impression of what she must have to deal with all the time.  The frenetic, confusing thoughts and feelings all going at the same time.  I can't imagine what she went through to have this split happen.  

[Quilt Fairy]

I want to like this show,, but I just don't find it compelling at all.  Perhaps I am just used to movies like Three Faces of Eve and Sybil where there was a mystery as to what the traumatic event was, a horrifying reveal, and a clear purpose to re-integrate the personalities.  I dislike the editing, the show feels very dis-jointed and I really hate it when they do that special effect to show a different part emerging.  It's a documentary, they shouldn't be doing shit like that. 

I think I'm out.

[DNR]

I don’t know much about DID and i absolutely believe it exists. Im trying to like the show cuz the mind is so interesting , i think i just don’t like Jane ? I can’t explain it oh well ! 

[KeeperOfTheIce]

I know our brains are incredible but I don’t get DID - to me it seems so far fetched that it seems fake.  

I agree with another poster - I wish the show was more of a documentary- don’t care for the special effects - maybe that’s the reason it seems fake to me.  

I wish they would get into more details of the whys???  

Janes doctor is creepy to me - his voice and the intense looks during therapy - eeck!  

[sara416]

It's a protective thing. When our brains cannot handle the stress we are under, we dissociate. And the high end of the dissociative scale is DID. It's not common, but it is real. The best thing I can compare it to is if you have ever had a medical or dental procedure and had to "go to your happy place" where you just imagine yourself somewhere else. That is obviously the very low end of the scale. But brains, especially those of young children, cannot handle the stress of horrific abuse. We just can't cognitively process it. So the brain develops a protection for itself because it tells us we are going to die. For the record, I don't have DID, but I am a therapist and work with trauma a lot. 

The thing that strikes me about the doctor is that he seems so stiff and cold! I have a lot of personality in sessions with clients and it is impossible for me to shut it off, so maybe I'm being overly judgmental. But he doesn't seem warm and I would hate to go to a therapist like that. W@e are only seeing small snippets of a few sessions, so perhaps he is generally more caring and likable on a regular basis or when we get to see more of his work. 

[Quilt Fairy]

This series ended with more of a whimper than a bang.  Although I suppose that was a given since Jane said upfront that she would not reveal her abuser and that's normally the big payoff for the viewer.

[Snli224]

Anyone else notice how the journals in 'New Memories' that are supposedly from childhood look brand new? None of the page corners are folded, none of the paper is faded or discolored. Looks like she bought them last thursday and filled them in.

[OldButHappy]

Just started this, and, so far, I'm very interested.  And I believe her.

It's the first show (unlike Sybil and Tara) that made me feel that real parts of the same person had evolved to become different personalities.  

To be honest, I've been a skeptic - television appearances (Oprah, Dr. Phil, et. al.) by therapists and patients who deal with DID were (at best) poorly handled or (at worst) flat-out tv fame-seekers.  And any actresses playing a role were, well, acting. 

So, I'm glad that this show is on - I'm learning a lot.  I applaud Jane's courage and hope that she continues to heal.  Just exposing how toxic her mother's denial is should help Jane move on.

However, I'll continue to question the motives of therapists who appear on television with their patients b/c it's hard to imagine that televising  a patients struggle is good for the process. Instead, adding public opinion to the mix gives the patient a lot more stuff to deal with.  And the therapist gets free exposure.

[xanzimalean]

What happened to her marriage/husband? Why did somebody that can randomly have the intellect of a 6 year old and hears voices get sole custody? Is any of this addressed?

[Bellissima]

I have plenty of credentials that I choose not to share. If Jane has DID, it is not a typical presentation. The whole purpose of DID, is to keep the personalities and each one's memories separate and completely compartmentalized. She has entirely too much "awareness" of each part "appearing", and who they are all about. DID is a wonderful excuse for her impulsivity, unstable moods and desperate need for love and attention. I have no doubt that Jane has been through painful trauma needing treatment, but she appears to be on the severe end (spectrum) of borderline personality disorder. If she does, in fact, feel overwhelmed by "inner voices", I believe they are auditory hallucinations. I don't believe she is receiving appropriate treatment and will end up more unstable than before. She is in need of empathy and understanding, but also accountability for the histrionics that have been encouraged. 

[SunnyBeBe]

On 7/1/2020 at 7:42 AM, Bellissima said:

I have plenty of credentials that I choose not to share. If Jane has DID, it is not a typical presentation. The whole purpose of DID, is to keep the personalities and each one's memories separate and completely compartmentalized. She has entirely too much "awareness" of each part "appearing", and who they are all about. DID is a wonderful excuse for her impulsivity, unstable moods and desperate need for love and attention. I have no doubt that Jane has been through painful trauma needing treatment, but she appears to be on the severe end (spectrum) of borderline personality disorder. If she does, in fact, feel overwhelmed by "inner voices", I believe they are auditory hallucinations. I don't believe she is receiving appropriate treatment and will end up more unstable than before. She is in need of empathy and understanding, but also accountability for the histrionics that have been encouraged. 

I appreciate your input. I’m not a mental health expert, but have done substantial research about DID over the years.  I did more after watching this show.  It’s sad, but also disturbing.  I wonder if NAMI regrets endorsing it.  It’s obvious this woman needs help, but not for the reasons portrayed on the show.  

Edited July 10, 2021 by SunnyBeBe