The GCEh?C: Canadian Episodes (Spoilers for Non-Canadians)

[bannana]

Yes, he has brain damage and she has PTSD.

[TwistedSoul7]

I truly think it is ego on both sides. They bonded over their pure hatred and need of revenge against Victor. They stroked each other's egos to epic levels. Everyone else told them to move the hell on and they had each other to be like "You are awesome!" and I think that has taken over. It is a thrill. They are being naughty. They are both self destructive people. When shit doesn't go their way they latch on to anything that makes them feel good. 

Jack is safe. That apparently bores Phyllis. Billy is exciting because it is wrong, but she also knows she too old for this shit and is fighting it. Also Phyllis seems to remember that Billy is a fickle bitch. Her face dropped when Ashley reminded her that Billy always does this when he loses Victoria. She must also had flashes to Nick who married her but still lusted for Sharon for years. She right back in that scenario. 

Billy just traded one addiction for another. I don't buy anything he trying to sell her. He is over the top because he is trying to win. I have ZERO doubt that once Phyllis finally succumbs and ruins her marriage, then the thrill will be gone for Billy. In the meantime Phyllis is the one who will look like the fool. Billy is single. He being a hateful shit but he not breaking marriage vows. In fact he has a shiny new toy already.

And I don't believe for one second that Victoria is out the picture. She might be distracted now but once Travis learns her ID and he is introduced as her new man than that added angst will also jump it. So basically this is about Phyllis looking the fool for Billy over and over and over again. I would feel bad but then I remember she is screwing over Jack.

[HeatLifer]

LMS's* True Love speeches are freaking comedy, I have to say. I thought I would have a rage blackout, but I actually couldn't stop laughing. He's too pathetic. Walking around like HE'S being cheated on, acting like Jack/Phyllis are some fling and he's the love of Phyllis' life. Even if I was new to this show and didn't know that they were crapping on history, it would still be funny bc they slept together ONCE. And he is OBSESSED.

*Lifetime Movie Stalker. That is how I will refer to Billy from this moment forward. 

[crosby777]

Quote

I love a good smutty affair. This is not that. That said watching those scenes with Ashley's words in mind, it makes sense. Billy is doing the most because he is addicted to the drama. Phyllis is fighting him and he needs her to want him. It is the chase. He will say and do anything. The thing is once he has it then what? 

All I see is another affair that turned out badly... like so many in GC.. this is no different. I watch for the drama.. I could care less who gets hurt. LOL

[crosby777]

Quote

The only good thing is PB will get at least one scene to react with his acting skills.

Oh joy.. we get to watch him bite on his lip some more. 

[miamama]

6 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

LMS's* True Love speeches are freaking comedy, I have to say. I thought I would have a rage blackout, but I actually couldn't stop laughing. He's too pathetic. Walking around like HE'S being cheated on, acting like Jack/Phyllis are some fling and he's the love of Phyllis' life. Even if I was new to this show and didn't know that they were crapping on history, it would still be funny bc they slept together ONCE. And he is OBSESSED.

*Lifetime Movie Stalker. That is how I will refer to Billy from this moment forward. 

Perfect.

Yeah I was angry when I read recaps. But what I saw was straight up silly. It's so over the top now Phyllis looks like a MORON for not laughing. I mean ordering a gourmet lunch and flowers? What happened to his James Dean persona? LMS can't even keep his schlock straight.

The thought of Jack's - and Ashley's and Victoria's - faces when Billy declares that Phyllis is the love of his life is making this almost worthwhile.

Edited May 25, 2016 by miamama

[crosby777]

Quote

I think we are going to find out Sage was a BSC as she seemed to be and she poisoned Constance and wrote in her journal that Adam did it in case she ever needed leverage against him.  But that doesn't really make sense either!

it is such a shit show.

[cmb81]

I thought the episode was pretty entertaining overall. Philly didn't bother me because I can't take their panting seriously. It just seems like is over the top to sell the big fall coming. So I will rock with it. Billy acting idiotic makes sense. Phyllis actually believing his dribbling is Summer levels of stupid. 

You can feel that JH's time is coming to an end. All his scenes seem so final these days. This version has an easy chemistry with all his siblings. Too bad they never really explored it.

CS looked botoxed as hell on screen. In real life she looks fine. What happened?

JILL! Welcome back my shady queen.

[miamama]

I found CS quite unattractive. Just not pretty. And her voice is weird. Normally whatever but wasn't she hired to be some "hot chick?"

I would think L.A. is full of beautiful bobble head actresses to play roles like this. But they aren't JH's babe, so...

[valleycliffe]

chrishell is a terrible actress but can LOOK the trollop to perfection.

[PatsyandEddie]

The bitch is back!  LMAO at Jill ripping Billy a new one and calling the mansion a " bordello for depressives" JW is fabulous! 

Edited May 25, 2016 by PatsyandEddie

[jewel21]

51 minutes ago, PatsyandEddie said:

The bitch is back!  LMAO at Jill ripping Billy a new one and calling the mansion a " bordello for depressives" JW is fabulous! 

She did?!?! Haha, I can't wait to watch that. I will be sure to rewind and rewatch numerous times. Go, Jill!

Edited May 25, 2016 by jewel21

[boes]

Pratt is being so subtle writing Hillary, isn't he?  Now she's dissing Jill, trying to ride Katherine's coattails, AND acting desperate trying to horn in on Jack and Phyllis.

He's writing her as if she's Joan Crawford in big shoulder era, but with less subtlety.  Throw in a little lesser Bette Davis, roll in some Margaret Dumont crumbs, half bake for one hour (less commercials), and Voila! - Pratt's Hillary.

[TwistedSoul7]

I'm enjoying bitchy Hilary all up in their business. She reminds me of Jill which made their scenes all the more glorious. Glad she out of the Neil/Devon bubble.

It also looks like Cane is about to do the same. Free them!

[boes]

4 minutes ago, TwistedSoul7 said:

I'm enjoying bitchy Hilary all up in their business. She reminds me of Jill which made their scenes all the more glorious. Glad she out of the Neil/Devon bubble.

It also looks like Cane is about to do the same. Free them!

She is being written as an old time soap climber, ready to blackmail and bully to get what she wants, and I'm enjoying disliking her, which is so different, and in good way, from how I feel about....ohsomany....

[miamama]

Haven't watched today yet but I gotta say Hilary is hilarious. She's truly OTT ridiculous with her "I'M GOING TO RUN THIS TOWN" plan but damn she's fun. Pratt is a freaking hack but Mishael Morgan is likeable and gives just the right level of ham IMO. 

And yes thank the soap gods she is being freed of Devon and his big wheeler as well as boring ass Neil. She should always have mixed it up with Jill and Jack etc. Glad someone came to their senses on that one.

It's also funny that MM herself has stated she much prefers playing the bad girl. Poor Bryton. He hangs on so tightly to Hevon since he has no story without that pairing. But I'm pretty sure MM would love to drop it. Also on a superficial note, while GT morphs into a hideous reptile when she's playing mean, MM gets more beautiful. 

[TwistedSoul7]

38 minutes ago, boes said:

She is being written as an old time soap climber, ready to blackmail and bully to get what she wants, and I'm enjoying disliking her, which is so different, and in good way, from how I feel about....ohsomany....

Yes. It is very, very Bill Bell. Hilary gives no damn. She wants respect and will do what she gotta go. I thought she held her own with Jill and even reminded her that she too went from fixing nails to married to a billionaire. Two snaps. Good stuff. I hollered when she said Katherine was her family. Jill about ripped her head all. Cane just needed popcorn.

[jewel21]

I loved having Jill back. Not only did she look fabulous, but she was giving everyone hell left and right and it was glorious.

I enjoyed her putting Hillary in her place and telling Not!Billy off for desecrating Catherine's home. Her criticism of his style choices, the ugly color, and the fact that he removed any trace of Catherine was spot on.

Great episode overall.

Now, if only I can get an episode with both Jill and Mariah in it putting all of GC's residents in their place, I would be ecstatic.

Finally, this new Brittany/Bethany chick has a terrible voice. I loved Jill throwing her shade, too.

[boes]

On 5/17/2016 at 1:36 PM, PatsyandEddie said:

 

I don't know with this site since the redesign.  An old post popped up when I tried to reply and I have no idea why.  And I can't delete it, apparently.

Anways, having Jill back IS a pleasure, this time.  After her last visit, when she roamed the halls of the hospital assaulting everyone about MY SON!!, I was sort of afraid we'd get a version of the same.  But instead she's taking him apart like Colin and his X-rated legos.  Taking him down for what he did to the mansion was both spot on and very moving, I thought.  Telling him what an asshole's he's being, well, icing on the cake.  

Bethany's a really well-written role, isn't she?  Yeah, that's an eyeroll... a YUUUUUUGE eyeroll.  And it's not a dig at Chrishell Straus.  I thought she started out weak on AMC and got better.  Even at a time when AMC was getting progessively worse and harder to watch.  She suffered through some absolute crap storylines and managed to make me smile more than not.  Even being paired with....{shudders}  Ricky Paul Goldin.....ohhhhgawd......on Days she didn't have much to do - looked way better on Days than she does here, though.

But does Show really need another inconsequential character when Pratt has already turned most of the vets into JUST THAT so we can all be blinded by the brilliance that is Dullan and Keebler ButtBiscuit and Stench?  Nothing against CS but ANYTHING that gives more airtime to that misshapen horror known as BEELY is not appreciated.  

Edited May 26, 2016 by boes

[miamama]

Just watched and yup Hilary was the best thing about that episode. She was a good contrast to Jill's braying (thanks for that Boes, btw, perfect word for her). 

Jill reaming out Billy was sweet. Those were the most enjoyable scenes involving JT's Billy I've seen -- even though he was his usual smug, one expression self. She was given some perfect lines and she delivered them perfectly. The scenes were enjoyable because someone was allowed to put the asshole in his place and he could say nothing in response.

Did you see Phyllis's face when she heard about the woman in a sheet at Billy's?? She actually got an ugly on. lol. eek. Enough with the Jack is my boring good guy crap though. Free him for Hilary. I am so here for HiJack. Loved her "I need you, Jack." lol.

And yeah, CS is weird all around. 

[TwistedSoul7]

I loved Jill's ripping Billy a new asshole. She told no lies and he knew it. That is why he got all weird with Barbie at the end. 

Phyllis and the face drop when she heard "Naked woman in sheets." Really girl? This is Billy. Wake up.

Jill all in Victoria's face in the preview. I hope she tells her she fine and doesn't need her screw up son. Not sure why this is Victoria's problem. Everyone expects her to fix and save Billy. It is cruel and unfair.

[miamama]

It's all about Billy, isn't it? RME. Everyone save him. Save him! So now Jack, Ashley and Jill (that's THREE long, long long running vets) are spending their days running around trying to save NEVERBilly from himself. Well, Jack seems to have backed off but his wife his fucking the guy, so...

JT is not propped. At all.

Phyllis is so stupid.

The downfall of these two fuckers better be good.

[HeatLifer]

Jill read LMS like a book. More of that, show.

[bannana]

Shoot, the one day I am not here to recap, and it sounds like it might have been awesome!  

[crosby777]

Quote

I found CS quite unattractive. Just not pretty.

I am with you.. I do not like her looks or her acting.. I hate that they hired her to keep her man happy.. BOOO

[miamama]

8 hours ago, bannana said:

Shoot, the one day I am not here to recap, and it sounds like it might have been awesome!  

Yup. I wanted a bannanacap of THAT episode. lol. 

[PatsyandEddie]

I would love to know who wrote that episode and how find out how he/she got away with it. Maybe it was Angelica MacDonald herself?  Still chuckling and hope there is more of the same today.

[TwistedSoul7]

Jack tells Billy to fight for the woman that he loves and then glares at Phyllis and agrees that he will because he knows she love him too. Jill sees the whole thing. Hmm.

They in love now? LMAO.

[HeatLifer]

4 minutes ago, TwistedSoul7 said:

Jack tells Billy to fight for the woman that he loves and then glares at Phyllis and agrees that he will because he knows she love him too. Jill sees the whole thing. Hmm.

They in love now? LMAO.

I just saw it. LMS is a piece of SHIT. In front of Jack's damn face. Sickening. And love!? Someone get this man a mothereffin' psych evaluation. You HAD SEX ONCE, LMS. 

[miamama]

Stupid and cruel. So, Jack sits there and encourages Billy to go after the woman he loves (thinking it's Vicki) and Billy goes on and on about Jack's WIFE and they are selling this as entertainment? Are you kidding me with this shit? Love????? And how did Phyllis react? All mournful and sad because wuv?

[NinjaPenguins]

I missed something. What does LMS stand for? I hope it's insulting.

[miamama]

Lifetime Movie Stalker

credit: Heatlifer

Edited May 26, 2016 by miamama

[HeatLifer]

8 minutes ago, miamama said:

Stupid and cruel. So, Jack sits there and encourages Billy to go after the woman he loves (thinking it's Vicki) and Billy goes on and on about Jack's WIFE and they are selling this as entertainment? Are you kidding me with this shit? Love????? And how did Phyllis react? All mournful and sad because wuv?

Phyllis should have looked disgusted. But nope. She's practically all teary-eyed. I was over them both long before today, but this shit sealed the deal. It's insulting and cruel and Jack should never be around them ever again, if I wrote this show. It is possible to go too far, even on a soap. 

7 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

I missed something. What does LMS stand for? I hope it's insulting.

Billy=Lifetime Movie Stalker 

[bannana]

The show opens today with Billy straightening up his ugly living room and finding a bra on the sofa.  Meanwhile, Jill is at the GCAC with Jack and Phyllis venting about Billy prancing around with some bimbo wearing nothing but a sheet  like it was a toga party in: my house, my house; I could not even recognize it, I was praying I had walked into the wrong house.  I didn’t ask him if he had the good sense to store the furniture and the rugs, some of those rugs are over 150 years old, Katherine probably spun the wool herself. Jack points out that Kay has been gone for three years, and Jill is still taking shots at her?  Jill says it’s Jack’s fault that Billy is spiraling out of control.  Jack says it is not his problem.  Phyllis looks uncomfortable. Jill is worried that Billy will go back to gambling and hanging out with criminals.  Jill says Billy is an addict, and Jack should see that.  Jill wants Jack and Phyllis to help Billy.  Jill says she is making a big donation to the foundation.  He relents.  He goes to make a phone call, and Jill asks Phyllis what is wrong with her, and says that she looks scared.  Jill tells Phyllis that she won’t fall for Billy’s charm and that she needs to talk some sense into him, so that he is not hurt, and Jack is not hurt.  Here we go again.

Lauren and Mikey are on the GCAC patio and Mikey tells her he is a lawyer again.  How exciting.  A bunch of blah blah about why Mikey did what he did, even  though back then they were angry with Phyllis.  Flip flop.  A bunch of flirting blah blah, and Lauren says she is going to meet Jill.  Years ago I used to love Lauren and Mikey and now they kind of gross me out.

Dummer is still wearing that ugly outfit, I think, from the Cassie memorial at Vic’s office, where she is getting reamed out by Vic for sending an email in Vic’s name, or rather, for letting Puka, a non employee, send out a communication to her Executives.  Vic says they committed fraud and she could have them arrested.  Dummer is dumbstruck.  And while Vic is correct, she herself violated her company’s privacy rules, because no one should have been able to get into her email at all!  But Dummer tells Vic that Puka didn’t lie to her and screw her over, that would be Billy.  Wow, so professional, little Dummer.  It gets worse, Dummer then tries to school Vic in business, while also defending Puka.  Vic tells her she is not professional and she is untrustworthy.  Dummer doesn’t let up and keeps telling Vic how she is screwing up.  Wowza.  Jill walks in and wants to know what has Victoria distracted from the important things in her life.  Vic tries to get rid of Jill but Jill isn’t backing off.   Jill tells Vic she wants to talk about Billy, and Dummer leaves.   Jill appeals to Vic to help Billy, telling her that he is sleeping around, and that he needs Vic.  Vic says this has nothing to do with her and tells her she is tired of cleaning up everyone’s messes, and then to be attacked by everyone afterwards.  Jill says she understands because she has had to do the same with Colin and they are now great, so it is worth it.

Back at Grey Gardens, Billy answers the door thinking it is Bethany and that she left her bra on purpose, but it is Puka.  He wants to talk to Billy about Vic.  He tells Billy that Vic is failing as a CEO and making big mistakes. He tells Billy that she is unfocussed, distracted, never at the office, and when Billy has the kids she disappears.  He implies she is seeing someone else.  Just how is any of this Puka’s business?  Billy tells him to get out.  Puka calls his spy and tells him to stay on Vic.

Puka tells Dummer that Billy doesn’t care about Victoria or anyone else in her family.  Dummer tells Puka that Vic is being stubborn; Puka still wants to win Vic over, but he leaves, because they can hear Vic yelling at Jill about Billy.  Vic leaves Dummer in charge as she heads out, and tells her no communication with the Executives and no Puka.  Dummer agrees.  Remember the years when Newman actually had staff running around, so much so that they had them carefully choreographed passing each other in the hallways, the elevator and the staff kitchen!

Tori goes to Hank’s bar to see Travis.  She has something to tell him.  She is not getting back together with her ex, and she is sad, but relieved.  She tells him she liked screwing him, but there cannot be more to their relationship.

Back at Newman, Dummer has already defied Vic’s orders and is working again with Puka on a proposal for Newman.  Then they start making out on the couch.  But they see an urgent email  re their offshore operations.  Again, how is Dummer getting Victoria’s emails?  Yikes.  At my company that is a firing offense.  And as CEO, doesn’t Vic have a BlackBerry or other Smartphone so that she is connected 100% of the time?  Sheesh.  Puka tells Dummer that this could be a catastrophic event.  She tries to get a hold of Victoria.  Who is at Hank’s being told by Travis that he can live with a no strings relationship.  And they kiss, and spy guy takes a pic.  Dummer leaves several messages for Vic, who is not answering cause now she is screwing Travis, so Puka takes over the situation.  He calls the media on behalf of Victoria and issues a press alert about an oilrig incident.  WTF!!!!

Jill shows up at the GCAC patio and catches up with Lauren and Mikey.  She tells them that Chancellor is fine, and Colin is fine.  But Billy is messed up.  She tells them that  she sent Jack and Phylllis to intervene, and they say that Jack has influence with Billy, and that even Phyllis can influence him these days, and Jill looks intrigued?concerned?suspicious? 

Michael and Lauren are having ice cream now, and Mikey has a memory of growing up with Lowell and GLORIA!  A GLORIA shout out!  And lovey dovey stuff ensues.

Phack show up at Grey Gardens and tell him that Ash and Jill are worried about him.  He is all snarly toward them.  Billy says: is that right, Phyllis are you worried about me?  Argh.  A bunch of blah blah about Billy spiraling out of control and Billy says he will tell them what is bothering him.  He says he is alone in Grey Gardens, his marriage is over, every plan he has made has turned to dust, basically, he’s a loser.  Billy sure doesn’t look a like a guy in lust or love, he looks constipated.  He’s upset at his life, he tells them, and his misguided desires, and says that he has been tempted; Jack thinks he means tempted to gamble.  Then Jack asks Billy if he has a new woman in his life, someone he cares about, and Billy says: no, that’s over.  Jack assumes it is Vic he is talking about.  And we go into more double entendres, where Billy is really blah blahing about him and Phyllis, and Jack thinks he is talking about Vic and what happened to them.  Billy says she (meaning Phyllis) is in love with someone else, and Jack is surprised to hear this, cause he thinks he means Vic.  And now Phyllis goes into double speak and says she is talking about Victoria accepting that their relationship won’t work, but she is talking about herself, and says she is moving on blah blah. Honestly, this is all pretty stupid and insulting to Jack and I cannot wait until he figures this out, or Jill figures it out for him.  But he hasn’t figured it out and disagrees and says it is not over between Vic and Billy:  whatever she had with this other guy pales in comparison to wht she had with you.  Billy agrees: You are right Jack, you win; I will do everything I can for the woman I love, who I know loves me just as much.  Billy actually says it to Jack while looking at Phyllis who also looks constipated.  And Jill has walked in and is listening in, and it looks like she may have figured it out, or maybe she thinks he is talking about Vic, and she is relieved, hard to tell.

Previews:  Billy to Geek Girl:  I need information on the Newman oil platform that sprung a leak last night; Puka to Noah:  I just spoke to Victoria, she wants Dummer to talk to the press;  Victoria arrives at her office, and says as she walks in:  Why the hell do I not have an update, and she sees Dummer, Puka, and maybe a reporter? And  Vic says: What’s going on?

[TwistedSoul7]

It is insulting to Phack and Villy to be quite honest. They must be killing those pairings because I can't imagine fans of them would be thrilled they using Jack and Victoria to prop this lame ass affair. That double talk was ridiculous. Also since when did Summer hate Billy so much? I feel like it is more manufactured drama for the affair.

[HeatLifer]

5 minutes ago, TwistedSoul7 said:

It is insulting to Phack and Villy to be quite honest. They must be killing those pairings because I can't imagine fans of them would be thrilled they using Jack and Victoria to prop this lame ass affair. That double talk was ridiculous. Also since when did Summer hate Billy so much? I feel like it is more manufactured drama for the affair.

As someone who doesn't care (and trust me, I really, really don't) about any of these couples....

I'll tell you that it is 100% a slap in the face to Phack and Villy fans. To even attempt to write this like Philly's "love" is greater than Phack or Villy is not only historically inaccuate, it's laughable bc it's been a few months and they've had sex ONCE.

[miamama]

It's insulting to viewers, period. Even if you have no fucks to give about the pairings it's nonsensical writing.

You want to end Phack and Villy for good. Fine. At least have the decency to let them play out a story arc. After all the years invested in those pairings Jack and Phyllis were given pseudo conflict out of the clear blue sky and Victoria and Billy got a four episode reunion (if that) until she found out he was conspiring with Phyllis. And yet months and months were spent selling this "intense bond" between Billy and Phyllis -- two people who have known each other for 15 or 20 years and nada. 

It boggles my mind that show chooses to sideline a veteran like Peter Bergman to sell a newbie pairing that flies in the face of history. What the fuck are they thinking?

[PatsyandEddie]

Dummer is a fucking eedjit! What part of no Luca doesn't she get? And then we get more of how smart she really is. KMN

Philly is nasty and I want them off my screen. Jack should kick him in the balls and boot his skanky wife out of the house. PB will kill the scenes but Jack deserves so much more than this backstabbing bullshit. 

More Jill please! 

[NinjaPenguins]

Thanks, miamama and Heatlifer! 

[peacheslatour]

Thanks bannana! That sounds hilarious, I may even watch tomorrow. Definitely need more Jill, talk about bringing life to this moribund mess.
 Gloria was the one who got me watching again after a long hiatus, I so wish we could watch Jill and Gloria spar like in the days when Gloria was married to John Abbott.

Fun fact: I just found out that waaay back in the day, Judith Chapman played Jill.

[boes]

One good day, one STFU, Jill day.  I'm still watching this episode, just finished having Jill launch into her diatribe at Jack because her 40 year old baby baboon can't manage his own life, and pushing back against Jack for basically saying SO THE FUCK WHAT.  

Then I watched the Babaloo and ButtBiscuit together - that was a colon cleansing moment, though a good one for Jason Thompson.  Finally, a scene for him with a worse actor and character than he is.  The Babaloo is so obvious he should be twirling a moustache - or being beat to death by everyone he sneers at.

Now Jill is taking Victoria to task about ButtBiscuit.  He's her exhusband, Jill, not her kid.  So STFU, JIll.  I liked Jill yesterday but come ON, woman!  Your kid looks like he's ready for AARP mailings, he's not a bad boy, he's in need of a dietary supplement.

And GOOD LORD, why the hell Victoria didn't slap the crap out of Dummer and the way she spoke to her is beyond comprehension.  Totally dumb AND full of herself, what a combination.

[miamama]

I don't think I can stomach this episode. I already hate Billy enough. 

So Phyllis stands there watching this asshole fuck with her husband and still thinks he's someone she is attracted to and possibly LOVES??? The writing is off the fucking wall ridiculous. I actually think this is supposed to be some kind of hot, deep, Heathcliff-Katherine-like love we're witnessing between these two self-centred hateful fuckers who had SEX ONCE and are betraying a man who loves them both dearly.

I knew Pratt was tone deaf but this is blowing even my mind. 

[boes]

Just finished this riveting episode of "Scared Straight:  The Keebler Billy ButtBiscuit Story".  So sad, he dies.  NOPE, he doesn't, just wishing and hoping and praying.

So Der Babaloo - who, btw, is reminding me more and more of one of those curiously sexless wax figure of a guy they used to have dance with the Champagne Lady on my folks Saturday night pleasure, the Lawrence Welk Show.  Strip him down (at your peril) and you'll be met with a shiny, smooth, blank surface.   Anywhosit, Der Babaloo ( a-one and a-two, take it away) is polishing the McNugget known as Dummer's noggin, telling her how smaaat she is, that she's not only a great beauty, but also a great mind, but man, is she BEEUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL OR WHAT??

She lights him from within, fires his AA batteries, makes him all googly eyed, and Dummer, well, she looks like this....

Not only is she a great kisser, but she also leaves a trail of hard pellets behind her and what Babaloo could resist a woman like that??  

Then Michael and Lauren compliment each other on their fabulousness - having to speak loudly over the on-set laughter - her hair, as usual, as unmoving as his forehead and then Jill barges in like Marie Dressler in Dinner at Eight.  Jill laments her baby boy's bad choices, clearly worried he might forget to sign up for Social Security, maybe forget to pay his Life Alert bill, perhaps even skip that ever important colonoscopy that every man over 50 should have - (though, come to think of it, his asshole is not only huge, it's also on full display 24/7, a doctor should be able to make a diagnosis from across the room), and Lauren and Michael pretend, not too successfully, to give a shit.  They don't.  Bully for them!

Then Michael says something about how Phyllis has some influence on him lately and Jill has a lightbulb moment.  Which should have shocked her, since she obviously hasn't had one in years - oh, this is after she's told Michael and Lauren, and earlier, Victoria, how MAAAVELOUS things are with Colin, how it's apparently a wife's DUTY to shelter and guide whatever huge jerk she's married to.  Jill giving marital advice is like asking Dummer the time of day.  Or what day it is.  Or what a day is. Or....okay, I'll stop.

Back at the orifice, Newman is HAVING A CRISIS!  Dummer is standing there drooling.  Der Babaloo is drooling too, but not for the same reason.  There's a problem with a tanker!  Der Babaloo fears his gallon of daily hair oil may be compromised!  What will they do??  Victoria is busy getting the two for one special from the bartender so she can't help, oh dear oh DEAR, what will they do??  Will Dummer save the day?  

And at the Bordello for Depressives, Billy is passing gas and calling it conversation while Jack valiantly pretends not to notice and Phyllis gives Billy her sexiest Reptile Centerfold leer.  Billy lies and taunts Jack, although Jack doesn't know it, telling Phyllis how much he lubs her and Phyllis is busy slipping off her Joe Boxers to leave behind so he won't be lonely.  And Jack?  Well, Jack is being played for a fool by these two.

Just like what Show is doing to us!

[HeatLifer]

1 hour ago, miamama said:

I don't think I can stomach this episode. I already hate Billy enough. 

So Phyllis stands there watching this asshole fuck with her husband and still thinks he's someone she is attracted to and possibly LOVES??? The writing is off the fucking wall ridiculous. I actually think this is supposed to be some kind of hot, deep, Heathcliff-Katherine-like love we're witnessing between these two self-centred hateful fuckers who had SEX ONCE and are betraying a man who loves them both dearly.

I knew Pratt was tone deaf but this is blowing even my mind. 

The fact that Phyllis sits there while Billy disrespects and taunts Jack to his face is horrific. It's why I want Jack nowhere near her ever again after this. It's too far. It's too disrespectful. She can't love Jack. And since I have no allegiance to any of these pairings, I don't need to try to come up with reasons why Jack would or should forgive Phyllis, lol. So there's that little silver lining. 

Edited May 27, 2016 by HeatLifer

[miamama]

Oh yeah, Phack is toast. Forever. But they will drag it out because Philly have no story without Phack (or Villy). All their dark angst is gone. And you have two self-centred losers in love. 

I can't even LOOK at Phyllis any more. I have hated her since she spit in his face about how he doesn't GET Billy the way she GETS Billy and how Billy comforts her and supports her UNLIKE JACK. And how he deserves what's coming because he started all this when he shipped Billy off to Hong Kong (??? more rewrite BS). 

I can't imagine the conversation she and Jack are going to have when he learns about the affair and figures out how the two of them have fucked with him for MONTHS.

Post affair reveal fights are usually pure gold on soaps. But what's the point in this case? What is she going to say to Jack? "You're safe and boring and I love you. Billy is fun and hot and I love him too. Sorry."

Forget about being a bad wife. She's absolute and utter trash as a human being.

I don't even want Jack to bother saying shit to her. He just needs to throw her out of his house and out of Jabot and move on with his life. I don't even want them in scenes any more. 

[HeatLifer]

And what about Billy, who has shown zero remorse? How is that a confrontation to look forward to? Billy's just gonna be like, "IDGAF, you don't deserve her, Jack! I love her!" No thank you. Jack can just silently walk out and this show can try to write Philly as a couple while I LOL.

[miamama]

16 minutes ago, HeatLifer said:

And what about Billy, who has shown zero remorse? How is that a confrontation to look forward to? Billy's just gonna be like, "IDGAF, you don't deserve her, Jack! I love her!" No thank you. Jack can just silently walk out and this show can try to write Philly as a couple while I LOL.

Yup.

#freeJack

[crosby777]

Quote

I'll tell you that it is 100% a slap in the face to Phack and Villy fans. To even attempt to write this like Philly's "love" is greater than Phack or Villy is not only historically inaccuate, it's laughable bc it's been a few months and they've had sex ONCE.

 But it is a thank you from the philly fans.. I hate phack more than any other couple but villy is a close call.. icky vikki and jack should pair up..

[pearlite]

What the hell with Der Babaloo? [Keeping that one, boes.]

Is this skeevy little pepperoncini with the sodden, greasy crest stuffed into Ken-doll 3-piece suits with armholes cut so high that the jackets are creasing the saviour of Genoa City and Newman Enterprises? Tanker issues? No prob, just issued a white paper to the G3 Summit on that. Potential PR disaster? Major no prob, just called Rupert Murdoch, CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera, Xinhua, and TMZ; everything's cool.

As Summer's slugs moisten at the prospect of his Greasiness's expertise and support, I start to wonder if satire is even possible here.

Jill as Canada's own Marie Dressler? In Dinner at Eight? I'm unable to speak.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

I can't imagine the conversation she and Jack are going to have when he learns about the affair and figures out how the two of them have fucked with him for MONTHS.

Knowing Pratt, this will probably take place off screen, because resolution and catharsis for fans is not in his playbook. He'd get away with this kind of crap on Prime Time for exactly 2 seconds before his ass would be kicked to the curb. Christ, what a hack.

Edited May 27, 2016 by peacheslatour