S07.E17: I Still Do?

[sasha206]

On 10/26/2018 at 12:36 PM, Sterling said:

Am I the only one who didn't like Amber's new (original) brunette hair?

It looked too dull.  Perhaps too damaged from all the blonde.

Also, the styling was way off.  Too pushed over to one side.  Too flat.

Too "Seinfeld low-flow-showerhead".

I hated it.  But I think she did a home dye job and it looked too dark, too flat.  

[qtpye]

6 hours ago, sasha206 said:

There had to be something really wrong that happened; I don't believe Dave would have not been able to get over her previously dating a friend.  And when she first realized she had dated his friend, she had a look of OH SHIT on her face.  I think she probably went fatal attraction on the friend.

And Amber's hair to me...does she get it professionally done?  Looks like another box dye job and a bad one.  

 

I just think that Amber got it into her head at some point that Dave was "out of her league" and Dave sort of thought the same thing. In our agist, sexist society, men's dating value tend to go up with age and women's tend to go down. I really do not know why Dave had to come on this show as a financially stable, fairly conventionally good looking tall man in his late thirties, he probably had a pretty full dance card in real life. I do not think he was that great but these are the breaks.

Mia said Tristan was out of her league when they met, but I always thought that was her sneaky way of hiding the fact that she really was not attracted to him.

I also want to point out that Danielle is older than Bobby and older than what he thought he wanted but he still fell for her hard. The truth is if you like someone none of that matters.

On 10/27/2018 at 1:42 PM, love2lovebadtv said:

I didn't think he was using her. I got the impression they liked having sex with each other. If she thought that sex=love, then she wouldn't have kept asking him how he felt about her. She didn't assume things would go well because of the sex. Rather, it seemed that they both thought of sex as one area they had under control. 

I hope she did enjoy sex and was not hoping that it would get him to like her better. I can imagine Dave actually holding off on the relations more than her as he was very concerned about his image and not looking like a jerk in real life. However, as we learned from couple's past a lot of men can have sex and not have feelings for the person. I actually think Dave was not disappointed in Amber physically, despite her harping on her physically not being his type. I think he got to talking to her her after the wedding and just did not feel it and the gym guy was just the icing on the cake. I remember being set up with a guy who kind of was almost everything I wanted physically, only to be totally let down at what a dud he was in the personality department. By the end of the date, I was asking for a check and happy to never see him again.

[Jeanne222]

I just don't think Dave is all that and a bag of chips!  Why hasn't he been snatched up?  Nice looking, good job, physically fit?

I know.  He treats all his women like he treated Amber and most women with any pride and self confidence ditch him fast!

And that is why he is looking for love on a tv reality show!  

Honestly he makes me crazy with his passive aggressive behaviour!

[Starlight925]

14 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I just don't think Dave is all that and a bag of chips!  Why hasn't he been snatched up?  Nice looking, good job, physically fit?

I know.  He treats all his women like he treated Amber and most women with any pride and self confidence ditch him fast!

And that is why he is looking for love on a tv reality show!  

Honestly he makes me crazy with his passive aggressive behaviour!

Passive aggressive behavior is why Dave is still single.

Yes, on the surface, he's a great catch:  reasonably attractive, tall, financially secure, great friends group, no kids or other baggage.

But he's the type to pick at your insecurities one at a time, like little scabs, until he runs you raw.

And then he responds with a straight-on, expressionless face, no emotion.

But, he'll sex you up twice a day, so you think he's attracted to you.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

[Jeanne222]

1 minute ago, Sterling said:

Passive aggressive behavior is why Dave is still single.

Yes, on the surface, he's a great catch:  reasonably attractive, tall, financially secure, great friends group, no kids or other baggage.

But he's the type to pick at your insecurities one at a time, like little scabs, until he runs you raw.

And then he responds with a straight-on, expressionless face, no emotion.

But, he'll sex you up twice a day, so you think he's attracted to you.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

You hit the nail on the head and said it ever so much better than I did!  He doesn't want a wife.  He wants  a whipping boy!  (girl)

Whipping boy - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_boy

A whipping boy was, supposedly, a boy educated alongside a prince (or boy monarch) in early modern Europe, who received corporal punishment for the prince's transgressions in his presence. The prince was not punished himself because his royal status exceeded that of his tutor; seeing a friend punished would provide an equivalent motivation not to repeat the offence.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

21 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

You hit the nail on the head and said it ever so much better than I did!  He doesn't want a wife.  He wants  a whipping boy!  (girl)

Whipping boy - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_boy

A whipping boy was, supposedly, a boy educated alongside a prince (or boy monarch) in early modern Europe, who received corporal punishment for the prince's transgressions in his presence. The prince was not punished himself because his royal status exceeded that of his tutor; seeing a friend punished would provide an equivalent motivation not to repeat the offence.

Interesting bit of information, but I don't think so.

I don't think Dave believes he has any serious faults, at all. And if I'm right about that, there's no need for a "whipping boy".

[Starlight925]

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Interesting bit of information, but I don't think so.

I don't think Dave believes he has any serious faults, at all. And if I'm right about that, there's no need for a "whipping boy".

I think what Jeanne222 was driving at is that Dave was using Amber as his "whipping boy".  

I think we all agree that Dave does not believe he has any faults, but he projects onto Amber, because it makes him feel good to make her feel small.  To watch her squirm.

Of course, Amber has all sorts of insecurities, which is why a guy like Dave is poison for her.  She needs a guy who will think she's the cat's pajamas, bleached hair/Paisley-the-cat/nighttime skin routine and all.

[Yeah No]

@Sterling, you hit the nail on the head re: Dave/Amber.  You said it so much better than I could!

[Starlight925]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

@Sterling, you hit the nail on the head re: Dave/Amber.  You said it so much better than I could!

Ahhhhh, well, unfortunately, I've dated my share of Dave's.

On the surface, you're so excited you finally met this great guy!

You tell all your girlfriends about him.....he's tall, nice-looking, financially secure & ambitious, has this great group of friends, and he takes me on really sweet dates like carriage rides!

Then, a few months into it, my friends start asking why I'm not talking about my "great guy" so much anymore. 

Most women have insecurities, just because.  We see all the instagram/selfies/Facebook/fashion mags, and a guy like Dave just loves that.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Sterling said:

Ahhhhh, well, unfortunately, I've dated my share of Dave's.

On the surface, you're so excited you finally met this great guy!

You tell all your girlfriends about him.....he's tall, nice-looking, financially secure & ambitious, has this great group of friends, and he takes me on really sweet dates like carriage rides!

Then, a few months into it, my friends start asking why I'm not talking about my "great guy" so much anymore. 

Most women have insecurities, just because.  We see all the instagram/selfies/Facebook/fashion mags, and a guy like Dave just loves that.

I dated a few Daves myself, which is why I've been posting pretty much the same thing over and over about him, only not quite as to the point and concise as your two posts.  BTW, I have also posted similar thoughts about Amber's insecurities.  They were probably not out of the realm of average before she met Dave,  but his passive aggressiveness only exacerbated them.

[qtpye]

26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I dated a few Daves myself, which is why I've been posting pretty much the same thing over and over about him, only not quite as to the point and concise as your two posts.  BTW, I have also posted similar thoughts about Amber's insecurities.  They were probably not out of the realm of average before she met Dave,  but his passive aggressiveness only exacerbated them.

Yes, your spouse (husband or wife) should make you feel like the most beautiful/handsome person in the world, no matter what is the reality. I have heard many people in good marriages talk about how much they love even the less than perfect things about their significant other.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 10/27/2018 at 1:40 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

But Tristan would have had no idea whether the person he's being matched with is even financially solvent, never mind able to help support him.  After all, if he had sketchy finances, then he knew they accept people with sketchy finances.  There was no reason for him to be confident whoever he's matched with wasn't the same, so for him to count on the marriage at first sight to bail him out financially would be pretty stupid.

And actually, it was Mia's employer-provided insurance, not COBRA.  But again, there was no reason for him to believe whoever he got matched with would have employer-provided insurance--he didn't and he was selected.

I'm not sure getting on her insurance would have been that much of a savings.  If he was in the financial straits we think he was, then he would be able to get health insurance on the individual market and get a subsidy to help pay for it.  On Mia's plan, he'd have to pay the full premium.  Her plan might have a lower deductible, but for young people, insurance is usually more of an "in case of disaster" sort of deal.

And I don't think anyone's discussed Tristan's arrest for DWI and evading arrest when he was 19, I think.  Where DO they find these people? 

Mia's insurance is probably a better deal for Tristan than the exchange since her employer is likely carrying the bulk of the premium and possibly subsidizing the deductible. I don't remember where she works but I think it was a large enough company to be able to offer decently priced plans for employees and their families.  I have no idea if Tristan has any ongoing medical expenses like asthma, sports -induced injuries, diabetes, mental health, etc. but that can get really expensive when paying out of pocket.

Not at all surprised by Tristan's or Danielle's arrests when they were teenagers. 

Edited November 13, 2018 by love2lovebadtv

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

Mia's insurance is probably a better deal for Tristan than the exchange since her employer is likely carrying the bulk of the premium and possibly subsidizing the deductible. I don't remember where she works but I think it was a large enough company to be able to offer decently priced plans for employees and their families.  I have no idea if Tristan has any ongoing medical expenses like asthma, sports -induced injuries, diabetes, mental health, etc. but that can get really expensive when paying out of pocket.

Not at all surprised by Tristan's or Danielle's arrests when they were teenagers. 

When Mia did not want to put him on her plan, that's when I knew she did not give a shit about him.

[ChristmasJones]

OK this is funny.

Right before I go to sleep, I like to watch re-runs of King of Queens.  Last night, I dreamed that I was on MAFS and I got married to Deacon! You know how things seem so real in a dream? It was super awkward. I was not attracted to him AT ALL (even though I find him funny and attractive on the show).  I felt like I was really in that situation... it was crazy.

[qtpye]

11 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

OK this is funny.

Right before I go to sleep, I like to watch re-runs of King of Queens.  Last night, I dreamed that I was on MAFS and I got married to Deacon! You know how things seem so real in a dream? It was super awkward. I was not attracted to him AT ALL (even though I find him funny and attractive on the show).  I felt like I was really in that situation... it was crazy.

I Don’t know what would be worse. Going on this show and being absolutely not attracted to the person they set you up with or being attracted to the person and them totally not being into you.

 I guess the right answer is to never go on this show.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

Going on this show and being absolutely not attracted to the person they set you up with or being attracted to the person and them totally not being into you.

You just described JamieO and Doug...and now they are winner winner chicken dinners....

Edited November 13, 2018 by humbleopinion

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

You just described JamieO and Doug...and now they are winner winner chicken dinners....

They won each other, so, I guess the people who they could've ended up with are the real winners.

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

 I guess the right answer is to never go on this show.

Bingo.