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Sterling

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  1. I noticed that in her first episode. Horizontal marks all along her upper arms, about 2-3” each. Looks like cutting to me. She’s not obese. Right now, she looks very large due to the pregnancy, but in her earlier pictures with “Baby/Bin” she was very average size. There’s definitely something off about this girl, and I appreciate her mother for going with her and behaving so calmly. Something tells me this isn’t the first time Ari’s parents have dealt with her.
  2. I wish they had spent a little more time on Linda Kolkena. She had a serious boyfriend (Steve Kelley, a cartoonist) when she met Dan, who was broken-hearted when she suddenly left him. Steve Kelley was floored when he saw Linda's new corner office, yet Linda insisted she had no interest in Dan. Steve learned that she was making $30,000 (around $62,000 today) without having any sort of legal training. Seems the portrayal of her as a vindictive gold-digger is accurate, and her insistence on not giving up Betty's wedding china shows just how hateful she was. I have no doubt that Dan would have tossed her aside within a few years. Betty should have just played the long revenge game, waiting until Dan was seen around town with younger, prettier blondes, while Linda sat and cried.
  3. Moved this post to "Podcast and Real People".
  4. Agreed, especially the bolded part. Dan's marriage to Linda never would have lasted, as he's a true narcissist. A narcissist's cycle is: Idealize, Devalue, Replace, Discard. He did that with Betty, and he was on his way with Linda. Another hallmark of narcissists is Love Bombing. They shower with love, affection, gifts, professions of love very early on, and that they won't give up on that person until they relent. Again, he did this with both women. Then, when the women are comfortable, happy, and fulfilled, he starts the Devalue stage, ultimately finding someone else. I believe these patterns would have repeated for decades with yes, some Dan/Betty reconciliations/blow-ups along the way. A friend just told me she's dating her ex-husband now. The one who threw her up against the wall when she used the "wrong" wash cycle. Yikes. So yeah, unfortunately, these patterns get so ingrained.
  5. For Dan to have his secretary transcribe the voice mails is part of his sick, narcissistic behavior. Narcissists gather "flying monkeys", i.e. people who will help spread how awful and crazy their ex is. He knew she'd tell her friends just how awful those voice mails were, which helps Dan gather his case against Betty. Not excusing Betty. Sheesh, woman. These days, we've all become so much more careful about putting anything in writing that can be used against us, but those voice mails....harassing, vulgar, obscenities. She probably thought that it would upset Dan & Linda, they'd delete, and she'd leave more messages. She likely never thought he'd record them which was actually a really smart thing for Dan to do. But for Dan to then make his secretary transcribe? Yeah, he was banking on the fact that she'd spread the word.
  6. Perfect sum of this story! Dan was such an extreme narcissist, that he couldn't allow himself to see anything other than what he wanted: To watch Betty squirm. And unfortunately for him, Betty wasn't a shy wallflower girl; she too was a raging narcissist with (probably) BPD and/or other Cluster B stuff going on. There's a professionally diagnosed narcissist who goes by the pseudonym H.G. Tudor who talks about how narcissists need one thing: Fuel. Fuel comes in any form, positive or negative. Basically, it's simply attention paid to the narcissist. For Dan, when Betty left hundreds of raging messages, it provided fuel for him. The more horrid she got, the better it made him feel. Like, look at all this attention being paid to ME. Look at all the energy being expended for ME. Like the way he publicly proposed to Linda, at that bar that all the attorneys frequented. It was attention-grabbing, plus he knew it would get back to Betty and infuriate her even more. Positive fuel, plus negative fuel. A huge narcissistic win for Dan. Even the cheaper ring he bought for Betty: Had he bought her the expensive emerald that she wanted, he'd have gotten positive fuel. But I'm betting he knew her well enough that he'd get even more fuel, albeit negative, if he gifted her with the cheaper ring. He knew her well enough to know she'd go into a rage, which again, fueled him, as to how much energy she expended. If Dan really wanted Betty to stop calling, why didn't he ever change to an unlisted number? Why didn't he make sure his security system was always working? Heck, with all his money, he & Linda could have moved and built an iron gate. It was more fun for him to simply wait for Betty's next explosion.
  7. Good for you! Your ex sounds like a jerk. I was married to one of those once. He didn't bank on the fact that my attorney not only worked up a fair settlement, but that my attorney uncovered that my then soon-to-be ex was paying his ex, the mother of his child, about 30% less than she deserved, and my attorney asked if I'd like to help her get her 30%. She was always lovely to me, and a great mom, and when I shared this tidbit with him, he shoved me a check. Literally, said, "HERE!!!". Ha. Oh, turned out, he had been cheating all along. Idiot was accidentally using my credit card number at a hotel he had been using in town. I still smile when I think of all this. So while yes, I can understand Betty's rage, there is one bridge we simply cannot cross.
  8. The fact that this was the '80's gives Betty no excuses. Remember in this episode where she shrugged off the idea of working in a gallery? She could have easily started a new life, taken her $16,000/month plus 50/50 custody, and with her bubbly, great personality (apparently that's how she was known prior to all this), she'd have done great. Instead, we saw two narcissistic sociopaths collide. I was divorced twice in the '80's. The first one, I was making $14,000 a YEAR. So yeah, it could have been done. Oh, and neither of mine had any drama at all, so I can't imagine all of this.
  9. Thanks, both are very interesting! Ironic, isn't it, that Stephen Collins played Dan, given that Stephen Collins was later accused of inappropriate conduct with minors. I also really appreciated the video by the psychologist, Dr. Grande. He brought up Betty possibly having Borderline Personality Disorder, which is what I keep thinking. BPD wasn't as widely diagnosed or understood in the '80's, but I do think it fits.
  10. Thank you for this expanded explanation. I had never heard of Epstein credits prior to hearing it in this episode. BTW, love your user name. Horns ‘84 here!
  11. I actually had the exact same thought when we first "met" Chrishelle. According to Camille, Kelsey said something to the effect of "This is your going-away present", i.e. the "fame" that would come from being on Real Housewives. It allowed him enough space to do what he wanted, while giving Camille the outlet she'd need once he was gone. Plus, with her newfound fame and filming schedule, it wouldn't allow her much room for revenge actions. I think Justin Hartley did something very similar here. The big difference between Chrishelle and Camille, though, is that Chrishelle seems to have a very beautiful heart and soul, whereas Camille appears cold and remote. I hope that Chrishelle can find her happily ever after.
  12. Agree 100. I think they are all narcissists, and this story is what happens when 2 (or 3) narcissistic personalities collide. Agree here too! Narcissists are never wrong. It's always someone else's fault. There is nothing more scary than a narcissist who has been discarded. So yeah, I've been watching RHOC for years, and I remember "meeting" Shannon & David, and from the first time I saw them, something was way off. I still think something is so off about them both. David with his "hot" girlfriend and his spiky-haired, naked butt-exposing selfies (yuck), and Shannon with her constant shrieking. Shannon "appears" happy with her new guy, but she's still a shrieking mess. She was definitely a victim of David's adultery and cold behavior, and I do think David was trying to make her financial life a mess. But the difference between her & Betty B. is that Shannon has income from this show, her (seems to be failing) diet food line, etc. Betty had a few years of teaching under her belt, so there was no way she'd ever make up that income. Putting the remainder in Spoilers, as well, it contains spoilers:
  13. I also think it was a way for Dan to screw her over financially. By buying that house for "them", he "gave" it to her in the divorce. But since it was in his name, it was still legally his, after the divorce would be final. He knew there was no way she could afford it, even with the $16,000/month she was granted. Plus, any money she'd be paying towards the mortgage, would be going to Dan. So after the divorce, she had to move out, and he got to sell it and keep its profits. That's my limited understanding. I'm reading the Stumbo book now (thanks to those who recommended it! Love it!), and I'm sure I'll have a better understanding.
  14. It really bothered me when Kalani & Asuelo parked at their house, and Asuelo just shot out of the car and went into the house alone, leaving Kalani to get both kids out of car seats, carry both of them, while Asuelo didn't even leave the door open. Asuelo lost major points there. Go play your video games and volleyball and pass out frozen yogurt samples. But help your own child out of his car seat? Not in Samoa, we don't.
  15. The difference with Kim on RHBH is that Kim is an admitted alcoholic. She realized she needed help, and she's now sober. Dorinda will never admit that she has a problem. It used to be fun to watch Dorinda get drunk, wave her arms all about, yell that she "Made it Nice!!!", and be sober the next day, completely lucid. But now it's fallen into tragic territory, where it's like watching Grey Gardens unfold right before our eyes. Adding Sonja, Ramona, and LuAnn's collective attempts at proving their continued desirability, and it's just a sad thing to watch. Sonja is an unfortunate shadow of her earlier seasons' self, with her new tiny apartment, multiple failed businesses, and she has unfortunately lost control of one asset I always admired: her stunning figure. Ramona is just a sad person who never had love from her father and always felt less-than, despite all that many years of therapy could have provided. Seems she chose cameras rather than therapy couches to prove she's this hot, sexy thing, bringing any man who shows the tiniest bit of interest onto camera with her. She surrounds herself with "her 60 best girlfriends" to prove how much she is loved, when I'd be willing to bet she can't count on one hand, any of those friends who would still be there if she became flat broke, or had a major health issue. LuAnn, while still gorgeous, is also a shadow of her former Countess/Hamptons life self. Auditioning zero-known "comedians" for her show where she talk-sings a few songs, after we publicly watched her non-lationship with philandering Tom implode, and her subsequent jail time implosion....well it's just a sad, sad thing.
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