S10.E07: On an Island

[hoodooznoodooz]

23 minutes ago, Happy Camper said:

 

Mighty small chance of her curing cancer so I don't get that.

She did a wonderful thing in PR and I am sure that the people who she helped are very appreciative.

She is still a bitch to other people. 

My ex husband would help all of his friends, extended family members and even strangers. To him he was a hero. He would help them out with chores, and even give them money without the expectation of payback. Wow! What a great guy!

As a husband, he was physically and emotionally abusive. He withheld money (I was a stay at home mom) that I needed  to feed our kids, so I had to ask my family for financial help. I did not have a driver's licence and depended on him to help with shopping and errands, and yet he would leave us stranded to help anyone else to pick up items in his pickup truck, move furniture etc. 

I could give many more examples but prefer not to.

Doing great deeds does not necessarily make a person exempt from being imperfect.

Even if my ex husband had cured cancer, I would have known his evil side. (and our kids would have as well)

I am so sorry that you had to live like that. I hope that everything is much better now. It must have been painful to hear everyone praising him, when you and your children knew the truth. You have my greatest sympathies. 

[SailorGirl]

3 hours ago, Happy Camper said:

 

Mighty small chance of her curing cancer so I don't get that.

She did a wonderful thing in PR and I am sure that the people who she helped are very appreciative.

She is still a bitch to other people. 

My ex husband would help all of his friends, extended family members and even strangers. To him he was a hero. He would help them out with chores, and even give them money without the expectation of payback. Wow! What a great guy!

As a husband, he was physically and emotionally abusive. He withheld money (I was a stay at home mom) that I needed  to feed our kids, so I had to ask my family for financial help. I did not have a driver's licence and depended on him to help with shopping and errands, and yet he would leave us stranded to help anyone else to pick up items in his pickup truck, move furniture etc. 

I could give many more examples but prefer not to.

Doing great deeds does not necessarily make a person exempt from being imperfect.

Even if my ex husband had cured cancer, I would have known his evil side. (and our kids would have as well)

 

Sorry you had to deal with that -- I've dealt with emotional abuse from family members. No one really likes them -- at least they've never hid who they really were. Sometimes the people who are supposed to love you the most treat you the worst. I'm 50 years old and still dealing with it in therapy. It wasn't good. I can't even begin to fathom physical abuse as well. 

Being a bitch does not equate to abuse. She's never been shy about her issues and why her behavior is the way it is. Just like all of us, she probably tries to control it, but those baser issues take over. She's acknowledged her issues and when she's been excessively inappropriate to someone. She reminds me a lot of my cousin -- one of the GOOD family members -- so I understand that personality more than others might. 

Edited May 25, 2018 by SailorGirl

[FozzyBear]

On 5/23/2018 at 2:57 PM, Fiero425 said:

I guess I must be from Carole's generation because I felt the same way! Bethenny definitely should have cleared it with Carole before going to Adam or ask her to relay the request! Now there's this uncomfortable tension between all of them because Bethenny figured this kid should volunteer his time and not to compensate him in any way to make rent! Not all of us have millions to fall back on! ;-)

I’m pretty close to Carole’s generation (about 10 years younger) and I don’t get what it is she’s upset about. I could see a couple of reasons why this might upset someone, but Carole isn’t being specific about why this is an issue. The first two that come to mind is that she thinks Bethany was hitting on Adam or Carole and Adam had broken up and she thinks none of her friends should talk to him out of loyalty. I don’t exactly think either is true and Carole won’t come out and say why this is a problem for her. I’ll say for myself, if a friend in good standing reached out to my boyfriend in good standing to ask for help with a project I would not feel like this needed a big disclosure. I’m sure one or the other would mention it and I doubt the idea that I wasn’t consulted first would occurs to me. 

Now I'm not saying that every relationship has to work like mine do. Carole has a right to her own boundaries in friendships and with boyfriends, but I don’t understand what they are and she won’t say so I’m left giving her the side eye. Carole “nobody but me takes responsibility” Radzi will not just come out and say “I think my friends should always contact me instread of Adam” or “I think women who talk to Adam are hitting on him” or “Adam hurt me so I don’t want my friends to talk to him” so we’re left with vague insinuations about what Carole is upset about. Carole is missing that Bethany not coming to her first is only a problem because she is upset about it. That’s ok, but this is far from being such a universal social rule that everyone is going to get why it’s a problem, so she has to actually say why it’s a problem to move forward.

of course, I don’t actually think she wants to move forward. I think she no longer wants to be friends with Bethany and is looking for ways to maker her desire to end the friendship Bethany’s fault. And I am SURE Bethany will give her the cover she wants (this is Bethany after all), but I don’t actually think this is about Bethany doing anything she hasn’t been doing her whole life. I just think Carole is bored with the friendship and wants to move on and flit around with Tinsley (until she gets sick of that), but doesn’t want to have that talk. She wants to have the talk where Bethany wronged her and everyone gathers around and tells Carole how brave and strong and amazing she is. 

Such High School level drama.

Edited June 1, 2018 by FozzyBear

[Fiero425]

20 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

I’m pretty close to Carole’s generation (about 10 years younger) and I don’t get what it is she’s upset about. I could see a couple of reasons why this might upset someone, but Carole isn’t being specific about why this is an issue. The first two that come to mind is that she thinks Bethany was hitting on Adam or Carole and Adam had broken up and she thinks none of her friends should talk to him out of loyalty. I don’t exactly think either is true and Carole won’t come out and say why this is a problem for her. I’ll say for myself, if a friend in good standing reached out to my boyfriend in good standing to ask for help with a project I would not feel like this needed a big disclosure. I’m sure one or the other would mention it and I doubt the idea that I wasn’t consulted first would occurs to me. 

Now I'm not saying that every relationship has to work like mine do. Carole has a right to her own boundaries in friendships and with boyfriends, but I don’t understand what they are and she won’t say so I’m left giving her the side eye. Carole “nobody but me takes responsibility” Radzi will not just come out and say “I think my friends should always contact me instread of Adam” or “I think women who talk to Adam are hitting on him” or “Adam hurt me so I don’t want my friends to talk to him” so we’re left with vague insinuations about what Carole is upset about. Carole is missing that Bethany not coming to her first is only a problem because she is upset about it. That’s ok, but this is far from being such a universal social rule that everyone is going to get why it’s a problem, so she has to actually say why it’s a problem to move forward.

of course, I don’t actually think she wants to move forward. I think she no longer wants to be friends with Bethany and is looking for ways to maker her desire to end the friendship Bethany’s fault. And I am SURE Bethany will give her the cover she wants (this is Bethany after all), but I don’t actually think this is about Bethany doing anything she hasn’t been doing her whole life. I just think Carole is bored with the friendship and wants to move on and flit around with Tinsley (until she gets sick of that), but doesn’t want to have that talk. She wants to have the talk where Bethany wronged her and everyone gathers around and tells Carole how brave and strong and amazing she is. 

Subch High School level drama.

There are 2 ways to handle this:

1) Accept Carole was uncomfortable about the situation no matter how much Bethenny believes it to be unreasonable! I fall into the same trap; some things are crazy that people do, but again I have a choice how to handle it! I can accept it or ….

2) Decide it's too much and I need to call the person out for being unreasonable, ignoring their feelings on the subject, "SMH" incessantly, and go on these fk'n rants questioning maturity and IQ! Bethenny is that type who ALWAYS mulls something around in her head to see if it makes sense or not! She gets this glazed look on her face and she looks at the person like they just farted into her purse! It doesn't matter the circumstances, unless it something medicinal, she's going to have her opinion and act accordingly!

Even into the episode where Bethenny's berating Carole, she never loses her cool and still tried to calm things down by saying how much she loved Bethenny! Something else must be going on that we don't know about! How Bethenny keeps any friends belies credulity! She's a horrible person who "has it all" and is still the most unhappy person on the show! I pray it doesn't rub off on her daughter Brynn! ;-(

Edited June 1, 2018 by Fiero425

[WireWrap]

1 hour ago, FozzyBear said:

I’m pretty close to Carole’s generation (about 10 years younger) and I don’t get what it is she’s upset about. I could see a couple of reasons why this might upset someone, but Carole isn’t being specific about why this is an issue. The first two that come to mind is that she thinks Bethany was hitting on Adam or Carole and Adam had broken up and she thinks none of her friends should talk to him out of loyalty. I don’t exactly think either is true and Carole won’t come out and say why this is a problem for her. I’ll say for myself, if a friend in good standing reached out to my boyfriend in good standing to ask for help with a project I would not feel like this needed a big disclosure. I’m sure one or the other would mention it and I doubt the idea that I wasn’t consulted first would occurs to me. 

Now I'm not saying that every relationship has to work like mine do. Carole has a right to her own boundaries in friendships and with boyfriends, but I don’t understand what they are and she won’t say so I’m left giving her the side eye. Carole “nobody but me takes responsibility” Radzi will not just come out and say “I think my friends should always contact me instread of Adam” or “I think women who talk to Adam are hitting on him” or “Adam hurt me so I don’t want my friends to talk to him” so we’re left with vague insinuations about what Carole is upset about. Carole is missing that Bethany not coming to her first is only a problem because she is upset about it. That’s ok, but this is far from being such a universal social rule that everyone is going to get why it’s a problem, so she has to actually say why it’s a problem to move forward.

of course, I don’t actually think she wants to move forward. I think she no longer wants to be friends with Bethany and is looking for ways to maker her desire to end the friendship Bethany’s fault. And I am SURE Bethany will give her the cover she wants (this is Bethany after all), but I don’t actually think this is about Bethany doing anything she hasn’t been doing her whole life. I just think Carole is bored with the friendship and wants to move on and flit around with Tinsley (until she gets sick of that), but doesn’t want to have that talk. She wants to have the talk where Bethany wronged her and everyone gathers around and tells Carole how brave and strong and amazing she is. 

Such High School level drama.

According to Carole, Adam told her about being contacted by Bethenny/team and that it didn't bother her until she heard that Bethenny was bad mouthing her/Adam to others and claiming she called Carole and told her all about it. Carole claims Bethenny never told her about it at all and this is where she is getting hung up/not being clear about Bethenny/team contacting Adam. It's not that she cared if they called/emailed/texted/sent smoke signals/ used Morse code Adam, it is that Bethenny claimed she called Carole and spoke to her about when in fact, according to Carole, she did NOT. IMO, that's the phone call Carole is upset about and the fact that her good friend is holding Adam's decision to not do Bethenny's bidding against her. Bethenny has even said, on camera, that things were "awkward" between her/Carole because Adam said no because she wouldn't pay him. Why would his actions make things awkward between them, Carole isn't at fault for Adam's decision but Bethenny is upset at Carole for it and that makes no sense to me.

[Fiero425]

3 hours ago, WireWrap said:

According to Carole, Adam told her about being contacted by Bethenny/team and that it didn't bother her until she heard that Bethenny was bad mouthing her/Adam to others and claiming she called Carole and told her all about it. Carole claims Bethenny never told her about it at all and this is where she is getting hung up/not being clear about Bethenny/team contacting Adam. It's not that she cared if they called/emailed/texted/sent smoke signals/ used Morse code Adam, it is that Bethenny claimed she called Carole and spoke to her about when in fact, according to Carole, she did NOT. IMO, that's the phone call Carole is upset about and the fact that her good friend is holding Adam's decision to not do Bethenny's bidding against her. Bethenny has even said, on camera, that things were "awkward" between her/Carole because Adam said no because she wouldn't pay him. Why would his actions make things awkward between them, Carole isn't at fault for Adam's decision but Bethenny is upset at Carole for it and that makes no sense to me.

So Bethenny risks making Carole out to be a liar or delusional by "totally" disagreeing with her comment about calling Adam! I guess it'll come out at the reunion that it was technically Bethenny's people who called, but she couldn't be bothered accepting what Carole had to say since she's able to deflect by saying "I personally never called Adam!" It's too much to say one of my assistants did it under my supervision! B!tch! ;-)

[Persnickety1]

On 5/20/2018 at 10:45 AM, zoeysmom said:

Last year after they went to Mexico, it seemed to me Bethenny was working with "Shark Tank", "RHOBH", "Bethenny and Fredrik" (which Carole had a cameo on), #thisisacrisis and any number of exotic vacations with the accompanying bikini photo op and of course time with her daughter.  Carole and Bethenny were together in July for the Reunion filming.  Not to diminish this great friendship but wasn't there only the two off seasons of prior history?  

I am not sure who Sonja's social group is but I always kind of assumed it was RHONYC cast.  Sonja has had priors from being excluded.  I think Sonja is crazy as all get out but I do think her paranoia regarding being excluded has some basis in reality.  

I am not sure how one runs a race other than "alone" or "all by myself".  As a matter of fact I think there are rules against assisting runners other than water along the way.  For a writer sometimes Carole doesn't make sense. 

Although I wish Bethenny would stop with putting others down in the disaster relief realm, I do think it is deeply gratifying for her and ultimately the recipients of the goods and money that she is so energetic in her assistance.  Bethenny won't be the first or the last to try and tackle dilemmas facing disaster relief.  Every business person thinks charities could be better run like a business.  This is one time her "know it all" doesn't always work.  There can be endless citations of failures of organized charities but the bottom line is the big charities need paid staff and have to pay for administrative expenses like rent and utilities and workers comp insurance and health insurance.  Volunteer organizations are amazing but there is no accountability for volunteers if they fail to show up or do their assigned task.  What has worked for Bethenny's other endeavors is exposure, platform, and branding and fighting the forces that dislike her use of the same.  Of course she is going to go with what she knows.      

Any one feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I also believe these housewives take a pretty good-sized financial hit if/when they're excluded from events, in particular cast trips.

I believe I read (although I can't remember where) a while back, the housewife pay was restructured to include the alleged "drama bonus" and one of the other pay factors was pay was commensurate with how many appearances the housewife(ves) made...or didn't make.

While Sonja like to call herself "frugal," we all know (and surely her castmates know) that she's a just a broke ass.  I would imagine being excluded from events (such as Dorinda not inviting her to the Berserkshires trip a season or two back) would be a huge financial hit for someone like Sonja.  

I've always gotten the feeling this gig, for Sonja, is like a "regular joe" using one of those check cashing advance places.  She spends all of her salary from one season putting up a facade of fabulosity for the following season...lather, rinse, repeat.  Like many people who get involved the vicious cycle of those cash advance services where they pay back considerably more than they borrowed and need to immediately take out that same money to survive until the next check. 

I think Sonja is in a vicious cycle of needing every single penny she can get out of her Bravo contract to finance the facade for the next season.  

A facade that's crumbling as fast as her Grey Gardens manor.

[WireWrap]

3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

Any one feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I also believe these housewives take a pretty good-sized financial hit if/when they're excluded from events, in particular cast trips.

I believe I read (although I can't remember where) a while back, the housewife pay was restructured to include the alleged "drama bonus" and one of the other pay factors was pay was commensurate with how many appearances the housewife(ves) made...or didn't make.

While Sonja like to call herself "frugal," we all know (and surely her castmates know) that she's a just a broke ass.  I would imagine being excluded from events (such as Dorinda not inviting her to the Berserkshires trip a season or two back) would be a huge financial hit for someone like Sonja.  

I've always gotten the feeling this gig, for Sonja, is like a "regular joe" using one of those check cashing advance places.  She spends all of her salary from one season putting up a facade of fabulosity for the following season...lather, rinse, repeat.  Like many people who get involved the vicious cycle of those cash advance services where they pay back considerably more than they borrowed and need to immediately take out that same money to survive until the next check. 

I think Sonja is in a vicious cycle of needing every single penny she can get out of her Bravo contract to finance the facade for the next season.  

A facade that's crumbling as fast as her Grey Gardens manor.

Yes, they do get paid each time they film and it did cost Sonja when Dorinda rescinded that invitation 2 years ago but she should have blamed Bethenny. Bethenny let everyone know that if Sonja was going, she was not, so, in order to not cost the others their checks and Dorinda's extra pay for filming in her home, she told Sonja to stay home. The blame though lies with Bethenny, not Dorinda.

[SuprSuprElevated]

I'm also thinking that they're contracted to appear at the reunions, and that is part of their season pay.  Pretty sure that is why Maloof got canned after she failed to attend the reunion in her (turned out to be) final season.  She was ticked about Brandi or how her story was edited or something, I can't remember now.  She totally alienated Andy for not showing up and did not get a contract renewal.  No loss imo.

[hoodooznoodooz]

1 hour ago, WireWrap said:

Yes, they do get paid each time they film and it did cost Sonja when Dorinda rescinded that invitation 2 years ago but she should have blamed Bethenny. Bethenny let everyone know that if Sonja was going, she was not, so, in order to not cost the others their checks and Dorinda's extra pay for filming in her home, she told Sonja to stay home. The blame though lies with Bethenny, not Dorinda.

I always wondered why Aviva wiggled her way out of so many events/trips. Did she not need the money? Or did they change the pay terms and conditions after her season?

Also how did Brandi know Adrienne used a surrogate? Is that something A told B in confidence?

[WireWrap]

3 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I always wondered why Aviva wiggled her way out of so many events/trips. Did she not need the money? Or did they change the pay terms and conditions after her season?

Also how did Brandi know Adrienne used a surrogate? Is that something A told B in confidence?

Aviva not going on the required trips is why she was fired. There was a rumor at the time that her husband guaranteed she would go to that ranch in Montana if Bravo guaranteed her a contract for the following season, they passed and fired her after the reunion was filmed instead.

Adrienne's personal lawyer/friend told Brandi,  it was known by many of the others though but everyone knew not to talk about it on camera because the boys did not know. 

[Persnickety1]

28 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Aviva not going on the required trips is why she was fired. There was a rumor at the time that her husband guaranteed she would go to that ranch in Montana if Bravo guaranteed her a contract for the following season, they passed and fired her after the reunion was filmed instead.

Adrienne's personal lawyer/friend told Brandi,  it was known by many of the others though but everyone knew not to talk about it on camera because the boys did not know. 

I remember reading that, too., Wirewrap.  I also think I read somewhere that Bravo wasn't appreciative of her pre-planned leg throwing which, if true, maybe contributed to her lack of invitation back the following season.  

I'm rewatching older seasons on Hulu...I had almost forgotten how I loathed Aviva and her father.  

Edited June 4, 2018 by Persnickety1

[WireWrap]

3 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I remember reading that, too., Wirewrap.  I also think I read somewhere that Bravo wasn't appreciative of her pre-planned leg throwing which, if true, maybe contributed to her lack of invitation back the following season.  

I'm rewatching older seasons on Hulu...I had almost forgotten how I loathed Aviva and her father.  

I'm sure Andy/Bravo hated that she preplanned the leg toss but her refusing to go on the required girls trips was why she was fired. Then toss in Reid trying to blackmail production for the next seasons contract and well, they really didn't have any choice but fire her. She and her father had/have a very twisted relationship, sick twisted!