S05.E09: Trust

[Snarklepuss]

59 minutes ago, LotusEsq said:

Hmm. Having handled many divorces in several jurisdictions, I can tell you that this is completely untrue in my experience. Uncontested divorces go for about 1/10 of that. And contested divorces are billed at an hourly rate. So I'm not sure where you got this number from?  Besides the fact that one can file for a divorce without an attorney by just paying the nominal filing fee, I don't think people think about the cost of divorce when considering getting married. Look at all the people who don't get pre-nups!

Completely agree with you.  Hubbie is a divorce lawyer and we only wish he got that kind of $$ for every case, LOL.  Not really, just kidding.  He's not really all about the money, that's why he does divorce mediation, which greatly reduces the cost of a divorce in many cases and can eliminate the need for a contested divorce even in complicated situations.  Plus it is more beneficial to both parties since they make all the decisions together and can potentially (with exceptions of course) reach a more amicable resolution.

ETA to clarify:  Contested divorce is a win/lose situation - One party wins, the other loses - Most costly and time consuming.

Mediation seeks a win/win situation - The goal is to reach a mutually agreeable resolution.  Less costly and time consuming than contested divorce.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[Evil Queen]

9 hours ago, LotusEsq said:

Hmm. Having handled many divorces in several jurisdictions, I can tell you that this is completely untrue in my experience. Uncontested divorces go for about 1/10 of that. And contested divorces are billed at an hourly rate. So I'm not sure where you got this number from?  Besides the fact that one can file for a divorce without an attorney by just paying the nominal filing fee, I don't think people think about the cost of divorce when considering getting married. Look at all the people who don't get pre-nups!

My friend's brother-in-law and his wife did it on their own. They could have afforded lawyer fees if wanted but it was over and done. They both knew it (she cheated a few times) and did the paperwork themselves. So its not like one has to have a lawyer depending on the circumstances. If a couple is going to divorce they are going to do it some how no matter what. If one is thinking of the cost of divorce when going into a marriage that to me says they probably shouldn't be getting married to that person in the first place.

[Jax7917]

One thing about this show is that since season 2, you never get real explanations on the reunion show as to what really went on during the filming of the show and what the real truth is behind why it didn't work out. The last episode/reunion shows are so boring now and there's no real questioning that happens.

I really think the reason Danielle is so hard on Cody with everything is just because she's just not into him so everything he does brings out frustration because she can't just leave.

My fiance is the same exact way as Cody, where I'll ask him 10 times to please do something that takes 1 minute to do, but he just doesn't do it. I'll ask him to text his friends to tell them something regarding the wedding/bridal party, and he won't do it until the 10th time I bring it up. I know he's not doing it on purpose. People just function in different ways. For me too it's an annoying quality because it makes me have to think for both him and myself and so I always have so much on my mind. But i've learned over time to just take the good with the bad. No one is gonna be compatible on every level and we balance each other out. Cody and Danielle on the other hand are just polar opposites. He's never gonna be the adventurous, handy man that she desires and she's never gonna accept it because she's not into him. If she was into him, the rsvp wouldn't be an issue. 

If they haven't done the deed by now, they never will. You can't expect me to buy that they go to sleep every night and when the cameras are off, they haven't discussed the future of their relationship. The same way on the last episode, the show expects us to believe that both halves of the couple haven't discussed whether they are going to stay married or get a divorce.

[Jeanne222]

On 6/11/2017 at 4:07 PM, okerry said:

I don't think this has anything to do with "prolonged adolescence" or anything like that. If men aren't getting married today like they used to, it's for one reason and one reason only: They Don't Have To.

It used to be that men would get married as much to have a steady sex partner as anything else, and there's nothing wrong with that. But now? In the name of "equality," females are strongly encouraged to treat their sex lives exactly the way men always have. That means sleeping with pretty much any guy who looks good and seems nice, and being willing to walk away in the morning - and risk being called a prude, a cold fish, or worse if she doesn't.

So, men can freely help themselves to all the casual sex they want, with as many partners as they can find. They even get free housekeeping support if they ask a girlfriend to move in with them. Even if said girlfriend turns up pregnant, that's still no reason to get married in this enlightened age we live in.

It's a super arrangement for men. They can get all the sex they want, free housekeeping, and children to carry on their name, all without the risk of losing at least half of what they have if one of them wants out.

In the meantime, women watch endless reruns of Say Yes to the Dress while crying about how they can't find a husband. We have other TV shows like MAFS that get 10,000 women and five loser men showing up to each audition.

Sorry 'bout it, girls, but you can't fool Mother Nature. If you really want a husband, you've got to wait for the man who will treat you like that's what he is - and you've got to treat him the same way. That means Wait. Don't act like a wife when you aren't one. What you give away for free is worth exactly what these men are paying for it: Nothing. And that's exactly how they're going to treat it.

OMG did you say a mouthful.  Simply checking the red heart just wasn't enough!  Bravo...

[brilliantbreakfast]

On 6/10/2017 at 3:13 PM, humbleopinion said:

Cody's Gym

https://getfitrockfordblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/15/367/

Think Cody's the guy in the board shorts with the grey vertical stripe and the guy on the right in the lower photo.

If those are representative of his cliente...he needs to suggest more frequent and rigorous workouts..no judgements or body shaming here...

 

Out of all the M@FS men...Danielle wouldn't have stayed married to but would have banged early and often with criminal intent Hundy Ryan because he is a manly man in a felonious, stranger danger way...

I've just decided that I like Cody.  It's one thing to write marketing copy that says you are a welcoming environment for people of all shapes and sizes -- and then have only photos of the young, the thin,  and the beautiful.  But this has a photo of some real women and even a  woman of size doing some heavy lifting.  If I lived in the area I would definitely check it out just because of that.  I don't know why most gyms don't realize that there is a lot of pent-up demand among people like me who would join a gym if we knew there were other people who looked like us, not fitness models.

On 6/10/2017 at 2:15 PM, Jack Sampson said:

Also, she isn't that thin.  She's not obese like some of the women in previous seasons.  For a guy who's pretty tough on the women of MAFS, it's odd that I'd like a woman like Ashey given her body type.

If you thought any of the women were obese on previous seasons I do not know what planet you live on.

[Jeanne222]

You know I never even noticed Danielle's eyebrows.  I'll surely be looking next episode!

[KateHearts]

On 6/10/2017 at 3:13 PM, humbleopinion said:

Cody's Gym

https://getfitrockfordblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/15/367/

Think Cody's the guy in the board shorts with the grey vertical stripe and the guy on the right in the lower photo.

If those are representative of his cliente...he needs to suggest more frequent and rigorous workouts..no judgements or body shaming here...

 

Out of all the M@FS men...Danielle wouldn't have stayed married to but would have banged early and often with criminal intent Hundy Ryan because he is a manly man in a felonious, stranger danger way...

That's one of the most poorly written articles I've read in a while.  

I'm just tired of Cody and Danielle.  If I hear "manly" one more time I'll break my TV screen. He has been totally emasculated between "D" and the film crew. Great job, everyone.

Nate is OK, I think he means well although I still find him immature. This episode he continued his odd speech (sometimes he just slurs everything together; other times he refers to his "essitement" and the "essperts;" I noticed MomNate talked the same way. Their little "disagreement" had me scratching my head. 

Ashley is showing her immaturity; taking anything Anthony says and making it about something that upsets her.  He's trying, but you can read on his face that he's really careful not to make a loaded comment- but in her case that's really, really hard.

[Snarklepuss]

4 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I'm just tired of Cody and Danielle.  If I hear "manly" one more time I'll break my TV screen. He has been totally emasculated between "D" and the film crew. Great job, everyone.

Then again they didn't have to do much to emasculate him.  He's doing a fine job of it all by himself.  I doubt that when he's not on the show he's much different.  I don't think it's just a "bad edit".  A lot of his nonverbal communication speaks volumes, plus the whiny vocal fry and monotone.  IMO it doesn't add up to much in the way of masculinity.  YMMV.

[gonecrackers]

14 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Ashley is showing her immaturity; taking anything Anthony says and making it about something that upsets her.  He's trying, but you can read on his face that he's really careful not to make a loaded comment- but in her case that's really, really hard.

Drama queen; some people thrive off this crap.  I was annoyed listening to her whine & complain about always having to wait for Anthony, all while holding a camera on him cooking dinner & fixing his plate. Guess he wasn't fixing his own plate fast enough for her highness & she had to wait to stuff her face. It's tough waiting for people who are cooking for you all the time; geesh Anthony, get crackin' there dude.

Sorry but that irritated me; it seemed kind of nasty as he really seems jumping to please. What is she doing for him in between nail salon & gym visits? Sex ... once the babies come that may disappear. And she works, for her family, making more than him, being paid by family... it's stressful being so 'independent'.

In the previews she disappears for a long time during a social thing & it seems to piss him off. Will have to see it to judge how it goes down.

[Evil Queen]

2 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

In the previews she disappears for a long time during a social thing & it seems to piss him off. Will have to see it to judge how it goes down.

Yes we will....I was wondering what was going on but this show is so misleading with previews that its hard to know if its good or bad and how much so either way. 

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

Bride And Doom: She Feels More Secure, And We Were Able To Effectively Do The Exercise

'Trust' comes easier for some couples than others. Having issues, for instance, are the ones litigating the name-change question with total strangers.

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Gobears said:

Ashley's said on SM that she's cooked for Anthony as well but that the show hasn't aired that footage. Probably to create the narrative that she's a spoiled princess.

I don't think they need much to create that. Probably a minority opinion here but even from glancing at her SM I think she's got an attitude & is a whiney, needy, insecure brat. Again, that's just the way I'm seeing her. I still hope they work out & do see them staying together, but not sure it looks good for the long haul for Anthony.

Edited June 13, 2017 by gonecrackers
forgot needy

[crgirl412]

I just watched this episode On Demand. 

 

I think Cody and Danielle are both exceedingly patient, good natured, calm people.  You can tell that the way they talk to each other is very genuine and that amazes me that they can be that way with each other even though there is frustration on both sides for lots of reasons.  I would be more than annoyed about Cody waiting to finding out about the wedding but the way Danielle spoke to him about was so sweet, non-confrontational and even giggling about it- and it wasn't an act!     

[Mindthinkr]

On 6/12/2017 at 6:11 PM, Jeanne222 said:

OMG did you say a mouthful.  Simply checking the red heart just wasn't enough!  Bravo...

I so second that motion!

[Jeanne222]

Sooo I checked out those eyebrows and they do need something.  They are hidden behind her bangs a lot so I guess I missed them.  lol

[Scorpiosunshine]

On 6/11/2017 at 4:28 PM, Jack Sampson said:

Because my Ashley's an angel.

 

I would never even seriously date a woman who's had more than 3.  It's a double standard because my count is considerably higher. 

It's a common double standard, which is why many women will lie and say "3" when asked "how many?"-- and they will also deny that they'd ever lie.  

Anytime a woman told you "just three, babe!", it was actually way more, so no need for you to sweat that double standard. It's already been factored in. 

---

 

I couldn't agree more, BrilliantBreakfast! I agree with every word. Cody's gym seems to foster a welcoming environment for people to work on their overall health. Many of the folks who need it most avoid gyms/etc for fear of being judged, because they often DO get judged. It's as if gyms/fitness/health/nutrional resources should only be accessible to the super-fit. It's nonsense, and I applaud efforts to make these places more open to anyone and who wants to be there.  

And yeah, the women on here have been so big. ?

ON 6/12/2017 AT 6:44 PM, BRILLIANTBREAKFAST SAID:

I've just decided that I like Cody. It's one thing to write marketing copy that says you are a welcoming environment for people of all shapes and sizes -- and then have only photos of the young, the thin, and the beautiful. But this has a photo of some real women and even a woman of size doing some heavy lifting. If I lived in the area I would definitely check it out just because of that. I don't know why most gyms don't realize that there is a lot of pent-up demand among people like me who would join a gym if we knew there were other people who looked like us, not fitness models.

If you thought any of the women were obese on previous seasons I do not know what planet you live on.

[brilliantbreakfast]

On 6/10/2017 at 3:37 PM, Evil Queen said:

Not saying you are body shaming or anything but this is a reason some don't go to regular gyms. Getting told how they need to go more often or do harder workouts because of weight they have on. Its a good way to make those people walk out the door and not come back. I will bet he has one of the few gyms in this world that is targeted towards people overweight and want a place to go workout without being judged by others. 

Uh, yeah.  He was body shaming.  When you say that people who aren't bone thin are that way because they're not working hard enough, you're body shaming.  And the person you're responding to was body shaming.  And is the reason people who are larger DON'T go to gyms.

[Snarklepuss]

On 6/12/2017 at 8:54 PM, KateHearts said:

That's one of the most poorly written articles I've read in a while. 

I just caught up to this - OMG, you're right.  I hate to say it but it sounds like Cody himself wrote it, judging from his poor grammar on the show.

[Kellyim10]

Cody's vocal fry is KILLING ME. And Danielle is the worst. I yelled "Oh my God!" alone in my car when she said her seven thousandth "manly" in this episode.

These "experts" who put them together are just terrible. I have to wonder how much mismatching they do to ensure some drama on the show? Even excluding any other concerns, putting a 25 year-old man with a 30 year-old woman seems like a recipe for disaster. Those two people are at different places mentally and emotionally.

[Evil Queen]

5 hours ago, Kellyim10 said:

These "experts" who put them together are just terrible. I have to wonder how much mismatching they do to ensure some drama on the show? Even excluding any other concerns, putting a 25 year-old man with a 30 year-old woman seems like a recipe for disaster. Those two people are at different places mentally and emotionally.

Of course its what they match for. I doubt any matches are really made for good reasons. Yet some how they got Anthony and Ashley out of his season so far and yet I can imagine they probably thought they would bring drama being Italian or their families would. Which really I think both their sisters have been more pushed by producers to come off over the top. 

As for the age difference, well it can go either way really. Hell I find Danielle to be pretty immature for being 30. Obviously these 2 shouldn't have been matched though and that is a given to us watching. Which hell even those 2 didn't give them drama for tv so its all edited to be about sex and nothing else. SMH I have said it before that at least they aren't yelling at each other and are able to get along considering. So guess the producers lost out on the drama they thought they might get from those 2 as well. 

[gonecrackers]

54 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

Yet some how they got Anthony and Ashley out of his season so far

I have no proof, but my guess is A&A knew each other beforehand.

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

I have no proof, but my guess is A&A knew each other beforehand.

I know you aren't the only one that has suggested that here and I have begun to wonder as well for a few reasons. Something we may never know though.

[Jeanne222]

Please somebody release Cody and Danielle from this torture.  I can hardly wait for those two to say adios to each other.

Is she for real?  I mean they don't even hug and a hand touch seems like torture to her and let him even mention sex and she freezes up.

What's wrong with her?  What's wrong with him?

To me it's like a bad blind date and all you want to do is go home.  Sigh...eight weeks...sigh.