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Tara Ariano

S01.E02: The Truth Comes Out

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This should go under episode 2, but I don't see a thread yet.  Feel free to move it, mods :)  

 

For those that are still on TWOP (I can't let go quite yet either), I posted this over there this morning as well.  

 

I agree with you all.  Seeing poor Liam last night just broke my heart.  She clearly has too many children and doesn't know how (or has given up) to parent all of them.  In earlier seasons of her various shows, she was very hands-on when she had just Liam and Stella.  Everyone looked really happy.  Once she decided that her vagina should be a clown car, it dissolved into utter chaos.  None of the kids appear to be getting any of the time or attention that they need from her.

 

Liam was clearly trying for her to give him attention, and she just blew it.  She appeared to not have the slightest clue how to handle the situation other than playing the victim.  Putting that guilt onto your 7 year old child?  Seriously?   Cut to the chaotic scene in the kitchen with Finn dumping an entire bowl of frosting on his head (while in the high chair).  It could not have been more obvious that Dean was scheduled to arrive and  "save the day"  at that moment.  Pure set up by Tori.  The only redeeming factor -- the pure joy on their kids faces upon seeing him.  Made the entire episode for me.

 

So, in spite of my feelings on this situation, I truly believe he is a good parent to them.  If only he had done the same with his prior family, but that is another discussion.  Those kids love him, and he does interact with them well.  Tori needs to get some serious help if there is any hope of those kids not being completely fucked up later on.  And that means, keep it off TV, and get a real therapist girl.

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It is so appalling that Tori is trying to elicit sympathy from the viewing public for how hard this mess has been on poor little Liam.

Here's an idea-she can call up Dean's first wife, and ask her how she helped THEIR son, Jack, deal with the devastation of his dad leaving the country and starting a new life with a new family.  

Tori's lack of insight on this issue makes me wonder if she is truly as stupid as she plays on tv.

 

On another note, Dean's 'suicide' threats? Puh-leeeese. Just a ruse to throw people off the complete assholery of what you did, repeatedly, and put all focus on another issue that conveniently makes you so 'fragile' that being confronted with what you did and the consequences of it might push you over the edge. I get what Dean is doing. What I find deplorable is how this 'therapist' doesn't.  If Tori's long term therapist is not able to identify someone like Dean as having some BPD, she ain't much of a therapist. Not only will this never change, it will always be all about Dean.  Tori seems to have a long history of toxicity in her relationships, and she really needs to learn to spot these people coming. Getting a new therapist would be a good place to start.

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Loved Sarah's recap. Pretty much echoes what I see and think. I didn't notice the paddle marks in the frosting. I am so not sure how I feel about a mom letting production people slather her kid in frosting so she could film a fake daddy drama moment. Is she that much of a fame whore? I guess she is.

 

Her children seem more like props in her love story, and the interplay between her and Liam at the dollar store was so frustrating to watch. A more seasoned parent would have dealt with that behavior  with one look, or perhaps a quick warning, then an exit from the store with nothing in hand. Instead, we see Tori pleading with her little, little boy to acknowledge her emotional needs, and change his behavior to suit those needs.  We see the look of confusion and frustration crossing Liam's face...and then his anger. He is used to everything being all about his mom. That's why he kept saying "it's not what I wanted...it's what you want'.  There is no doubt in my mind that Tori has lived her whole life getting what she wants, and justifying it. In that moment with LIam, we see what damage that kind of parenting does. Instead of focusing on the many reasons Liam may have been acting up, Tori focused on her own need to not feel 'bad', and kept repeating that Liam's words were making her feel 'bad'. WTH? Since when is parenting about getting our kids to say things that make us feel good? Cripes, if that's the case, I am 0 for 3 over here.

 

The kind of rationalizing Tori does with her kids is the same kind that allowed her to destroy another family in order to get what she thought she wanted. Ironic that this show is called TRULY Tori. It seems to me, until she gets really honest with herself, there will never be anything 'true' to Tori's story, and her ever elusive search for happiness will follow her into old age.

Edited by JustAlison
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I thought the whole show was nails on the black board cringe worthy.  It must be exhausting to be around her if that's all she can talk  about.  Endless repetition, examining very little nuance....I'd have to bail after a while.  And I think it's disgraceful she has those kids miked.  I get she wanted to show Dean's homecoming in a positive light, to actually mike a 7 year old is reprehensible, never mind just showing them on tv.  I sincerely hope she gets it together soon, because that household seems to be descending into chaos, and that isn't good for the kids, nor Deano's recovery.

 

I have my reservations about the big suicide reveal--but if it is true I hope that Deano, when he's better, becomes involved in some kind of suicide awareness and does some publicity/public speaking.  Wait, this is Mr. Deano- never mind.

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Eww this wasn't as much train wreck fun to watch. Tori talks to her male friend. Tori talks to her therapist. Tori talks to her girlfriends. Tori talks & talks & talks. I know it's a narrate your life "reality" show, but shut up for a moment.

Dean: "I spent hours staring at that crack in the glass & considered breaking through that glass & considered moving through that space & considered flying from that window & considered being free from all of This Incessant Talking!"

I know I'm harping on a point but I'm going to say it again, Dean looks bad. Puffy, worn out, rode hard & put up wet bad. Is that an attempt to sell the reality of it? See look, our co-lead looks awful. It's real folks. The pain, oh it burns.

I didn't like the Tori woe is me & my issues manipulation of her child. Although I will say Liam has the hurt pout down well. These kids are already performing it appears. It's lovely to see the emotional dysfunction working it's way through generations. (No way I don't believe Tori & creepy doll loving mama don't have big issues.) Like mama, like daughter, like son.

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I think every single scene was totally fake and scripted.

As far as Dean's relevations in the therapy session, Dean's nervous breakdown, complete with suicidal thoughts, is supposedly the reason he had to check into rehab a few months ago? So, we're supposed to believe that back in December when the US Weekly story broke and Tori and Dean went to Dr. Wexler for therapy, and the paparazzi were following them around, that they somehow missed an ambulance carting Dean away from the therapist's office? Somehow, in the midst of this media shit storm, Tori and Dean managed to keep the news of his mental breakdown and ambulance trip from the therapist's office to a rehab facility completely quiet and under wraps until Episode 2 of their "reality" show several months later? Yeah, sure.

Edited by LuckyBitch
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Here's the thing: this is fake to the extent that Tori grew up in a totally fake world.  Does Tori even know that setting things up for the cameras isn't how things are done in real life?  I'm not sure.  The psycho mom, the withholding dad, the billions of dollars spent to isolate them all from the rest of the world.  I think Tori really has persuaded herself that she did fall head over heels with Dean on the first day, and I think she's completely and desperately invested in the idea that this must be endless and everlasting Disney love at first sight.  I think Tori actually expected her marriage to be rainbows and unicorns because that's how marriage is supposed to be.  Her thought process seems to be aligned to the kind of crap that Gwenyth keeps spewing out on her I-am-so-much-more-evolved-than-you website.  Tori's never had any model of what a caring mother should be or do or what a functioning marriage looks like.  She really does want things to be perfect with Dean, and I don't think she has any idea what to do if they're not -- other than going agoraphobic as her mother seems to have done for some years.  Tori's making strange choices about how to live,  what with constant cameras and tabloid interviews, but this is how she was raised.

 

Why she loves this guy who looks like a big bag of onions I don't know, but having latched onto him, hell won't blast her away.  Not saying there's nothing fake with this show -- I'm not blind -- but I think this may be a more realistic portrayal than we're giving her credit for.  Him?  He's a tool.

Edited by FineWashables
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Here's the thing: this is fake to the extent that Tori grew up in a totally fake world.  Does Tori even know that setting things up for the cameras isn't how things are done in real life?  I'm not sure... I think Tori really has persuaded herself that she did fall head over heels with Dean on the first day, and I think she's completely and desperately invested in the idea that this must be endless and everlasting Disney love at first sight.  I think Tori actually expected her marriage to be rainbows and unicorns because that's how marriage is supposed to be....  She really does want things to be perfect with Dean, and I don't think she has any idea what to do if they're not -- other than going agoraphobic as her mother seems to have done for some years.  Tori's making strange choices about how to live,  what with constant cameras and tabloid interviews, but this is how she was raised.

 

I think this is a really, really good point. I've always liked Tori (I know, I know), she makes a lot of decisions I disagree with, but having watched her various shows, I think she's actually a nice person, though definitely a flawed one. She doesn't get that plastering your life and marital problems all over TV is a bizarre thing to do, and that's pretty sad.

 

I notice that they've mentioned a few times how she and Dean were both married when they got together. They could hardly avoid it, I suppose, but I wish Tori would consider the implications a bit more. I suspect the guilt over that may be a factor in why she's so desperate to believe in the fantasy, love-at-first-sight "soulmates" aspect (though that's not all of it). I do like her, and I don't need her to flog herself, but I would respect her a little more if she were to verbalize some regret over being a cheater in the past, and maybe some empathy or regret over what Dean's first wife went through when Dean cheated on her -with Tori. Maybe she doesn't want to look at that too closely.

 

But Dean is a douchebag and always has been. His confession of suicidal thoughts may or may not be true, but I definitely thought it was manipulative as hell. Tori may be a mess, but she deserves better than that guy.

Edited by Melgaypet
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I don't know if this has been mentioned before...Tori and Dean's therapist, Dr. Wexler, is the same therapist that Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed used on their reality show. I get a fame-ho vibe from her.

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I thought she looked familiar. She's like Dr. Drew (of Teen Mom fame) 2.0.

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Will there be another episode? If so when and what channel?  I never got to see the 1st  one only the 2nd.

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The show is being broadcast ON LMN. The 3rd episode premieres next Tuesday, according to my DVR.

 I found it. Thanks.

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Ratings info for Episode 2:

 

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's reality show True Tori gets hammered by The Little Couple in ratings battle

 

It's may contain all the major dramatic elements of lying, cheating and drinking, but despite the drama, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's reality show can't seem to hold a candle to competition The Little Couple.

 

Their True Tori reality series, which airs on Lifetime, is faltering in the ratings, while TLC's The Little Couple is proving to be a ratings juggernaut.

 

Radaronline.com reports that 2.28 million viewers watched the most recent episodes of The Little Couple, compared to 1.05  million for True Tori.

 

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Just proves that more people would rather see a happy, well-adjusted family (but I admit I tune into True Tori for reasons I cannot explain)!

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I could barely get through this episode. It's all so fake and scripted, and may I say BORING!!

 

They both look terrible too - Tori's make-up is terrible, plus she looks anorexic. Dean just looks bad all around. He seems to have lost the good looks he used to have....

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Here's the thing: cheating is bullspit.  Any time.  Any place.  Any situation.  It's the cowards way out of a bad situation.  That said, how she can be so farking victimized, shocked, and incapable of function is also bull.  They are both spoiled, entitled brats.  

 

Specifically, Dean has two personalities, clearly.  He's the loyal husband and good father (in his own mind) one minute, because there's money and security in playing that role.  You will never convince me that her last name didn't figure into his decision to bail on his first wife.  Then, there's "Dean-o".  The fact that he's self-aware enough to have named his douche bag side is enough evidence that he can tell right from wrong and allows that side to run free whenever Tori isn't around.  You can't have it both ways: if you are aware enough to name your bad side, you are aware enough to do the right thing.  Choosing not to do the right thing isn't a mental illness, it's selfishness, pure and simple.

 

Tori isn't getting off, either.  She married a cheater.  She allowed that man to walk out on his son.  She can't whine and cry about Liam missing daddy when she compelled and allowed Dean to choose her over his first son.  Sorry, sweetie! Karma is a bitch.   And, saying you don't want to address shit because you don't think he can handle confrontation is an excuse.  It tells me SHE hates confrontation and SHE manipulates people the same way.  When you have kids and this happens, you have precisely 24 hours to be stunned, numb, and shocked.  And, ideally, you send the kids to the guncles for a night and be numb or shocked with a few friends.  After that, you put on your big girl panties and PUT THE KIDS FIRST!  You suck it up.  You get some help if you can't manage your own family routine or you cut some of the routine out to manage the initial chaos.  You go to a real therapist and you start making decisions about what you will and will not tolerate.  If the cheating spouse can't handle those rules, then lawyer up and protect your family.  No boo hooing.  

 

If the family stress level is at a 9, you order the favors online and head off the possibility of an in store, paparazzi filmed meltdown.  You invite a few less people and stop trying to "produce" the perfect birthday party.  I think Liam was the most honest of any person on the show and he is 7!!!! That's frightening.  His mom wanted a pity party and his birthday was just the ticket.  

Oh, and Dr. Wexler,... enable much?

Ok.  I think I am done venting.  Sorry.  

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Oh, he definitely has two personalities. Can you picture how it went the first day? The first/appraising "I like what I see" lingering look. The first special "only for you" smile. Touching her arm/hand, maybe her leg, during conversation and then drawing back and portraying concern that perhaps it was too forward. Making his eyes "sparkle" when he looked into her eyes. Measuring the willingness and the neediness. Casually calling her "babe" and gauging the reaction. Sucking in his stomach and expanding his chest. Acting like he was unsure of her interest, but telegraphing that he wanted it.

 

All in a day's work. He turns that shit on and off like a switch.

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@suomi you did a great job describing his tactics. I was involved with a similarly narcissistic creature, although my demon turned out to be a full on psychopath. You nailed the approach & pull back method. Give a little, withdraw, over & over. It keeps you off balance but strangely wanting more & in hindsight I can tell it was deliberate & planned, albeit as easy as breathing for the spawn of satan. I doubt Tori had many tools to combat him. But I can't give her a free pass because there are kids involved.

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