S05.E15: Lupe & Ashley D

[FGD-135]

7 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I believe shenanigans occur but what kind of dumbass would agree to be portrayed as the rapist of a disabled woman recovering from surgery? 

This kind of dumbass.

 

 

ETA: Finally watched the episode. I really dislike both Lupe and Gilbert. But did I miss something? I didn't hear them say anything about him forcing her to have sex. Was that in the Supersized episode?

Edited April 22, 2017 by FGD-135

[Tabbygirl521]

4 hours ago, FGD-135 said:

This kind of dumbass.

 

 

ETA: Finally watched the episode. I really dislike both Lupe and Gilbert. But did I miss something? I didn't hear them say anything about him forcing her to have sex. Was that in the Supersized episode?

No, in the regular edition, Lupe said in a voiceover, "Gilbert insisted on having sex" after the surgery and the sutures burst.  And then the show cut to a shot of her pus-ridden infected surgery site. 

[Calicocats]

Don't forget Gilbert downing a "40" and bitching about Lupe ruining his weekend while waiting for the ambulance for the infection he caused.  And he didn't go to the hospital with her.  What can I say?  That Gilbert...he's a keeper!

[Trees]

Gilbert and his "needs" - I guess this might be the original reason he would hook up with a woman that nobody else wants.  She knows it, she's grateful to have any man, and he can make her do whatever he wants.

I am forever haunted by my junior year in high school.  There was this very pretty nice girl who was morbidly obese. This was about 1973 when people weren't so extremely fat.  She had to be like 300-350 at age 17.  One day she came in all happy.  Over the weekend, a "friend" of her brother's started rubbing her back and paying attention to her, then kissing, then a lot of touching...  She was gleefully describing every detail to every girl all day, for a few days.  It was the first attention every paid to her by a male, ever.  This poor girl believed it was the beginning of a relationship.  Everyone who liked her felt broken-hearted at how she was being set up to be used and abused.

Lupe and Gilbert reminded me of this dynamic.  Desperate-for-love woman finds undesirable horny man and they find misery together and pretend it's love.

[SPLAIN]

On ‎4‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 6:26 AM, TurtlePower said:

This makes me so angry, as prior LE I had to deal with this kind of situation on a regular basis. Many of the women call police and then try and retract their statements because they are so reliant on these men for everything. We would try and help them, then the next thing you know they're back with these guys and we're the bad guys. 

I'd love to see Lupe get herself into shape and send him flying across the room next time he forces her to do anything. She should truly kick him to the curb and leave him there for trash pickup.

I hope you know that many of those victims were likely in fear of pressing charges. They were likely in fear of having their partner be released from jail after two days only to return to them and punish them for making that call in the first place. Many victims are encouraged to call police even if they don't press charges only because it may keep them from being harmed and, it is on record that they made that call. 

I am so glad our county makes sure our law enforcement officials are educated so they can be understanding about the dynamics of domestic violence. They know DV is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. They know a victim is likely to change their story, retract their statement, or that victim will downplay what happened because they know the chances are that victim has been threatened, coerced, forced, and intimidated by their abuser before the police got there. It is what we hear on a daily basis here at my work from victims, male and female. The number of victims who have told their story about how they called the police for help only to then have to change their story out of fear is extremely high. There is that small percentage of victims who willingly take back what they have accused their partner of doing to them, but it is a small percentage. 

Sex against Lupe's wishes is rape. She said it was forced. Any person who says they were forced to do something, they usually mean it was against their will.  Gilbert made it loud and clear when he said he had "needs". That is his word for sex. He wasn't referring to food. He wasn't referring to a back massage. He wasn't referring to going out with the guys to drink. He was referring to sex. He was going to get it at all costs. It isn't hard to imagine a person forcing sex upon someone against their will, even one who has just had surgery. The clients that have come to my work seeking help, have mentioned stories of being forced to have sex right after giving birth, some had just had C-sections. There have been plenty cases of rape against invalids in nursing homes and hospitals. There have been cases of rape of comatose patients. There have been cases of rape against elderly people who cannot give consent. Marital rape, unfortunately, is not looked upon the same as stranger rape. I am sure Gilbert made Lupe feel that was the case when he pushed himself back into her life.

Edited April 27, 2017 by SPLAIN

[TurtlePower]

17 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I hope you know that many of those victims were likely in fear of pressing charges. They were likely in fear of having their partner be released from jail after two days only to return to them and punish them for making that call in the first place. Many victims are encouraged to call police even if they don't press charges only because it may keep them from being harmed and, it is on record that they made that call. 

I am so glad our county makes sure our law enforcement officials are educated so they can be understanding about the dynamics of domestic violence. They know DV is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. They know a victim is likely to change their story, retract their statement, or that victim will downplay what happened because they know the chances are that victim has been threatened, coerced, forced, and intimidated by their abuser before the police got there. It is what we hear on a daily basis here at my work from victims, male and female. The number of victims who have told their story about how they called the police for help only to then have to change their story out of fear is extremely high. There is that small percentage of victims who willingly take back what they have accused their partner of doing to them, but it is a small percentage. 

Sex against Lupe's wishes is rape. She said it was forced. Any person who says they were forced to do something, they usually mean it was against their will.  Gilbert made it loud and clear when he said he had "needs". That is his word for sex. He wasn't referring to food. He wasn't referring to a back massage. He wasn't referring to going out with the guys to drink. He was referring to sex. He was going to get it at all costs. It isn't hard to imagine a person forcing sex upon someone against their will, even one who has just had surgery. The clients that have come to my work seeking help, have mentioned stories of being forced to have sex right after giving birth, some had just had C-sections. There have been plenty cases of rape against invalids in nursing homes and hospitals. There have been cases of rape of comatose patients. There have been cases of rape against elderly people who cannot give consent. Marital rape, unfortunately, is not looked upon the same as stranger rape. I am sure Gilbert made Lupe feel that was the case when he pushed himself back into her life.

Of course I'm aware of that, more than I can say on here, and the agency I worked for it didn't matter if someone didn't want to press charges or not. I've been both victim and fighter, and I became a fighter after becoming a victim (after months of PTSD and violent outbursts I began training for close quarters combat). I've been in training with victims of domestic violence who required extra help and support because the scenarios were very scary Some couldn't complete the training.

So, I do know. But being called to help and then being the bad guy--or even physically attacked for trying to help--is draining. For that, I'm glad to be out of the field. I grew tired of seeing these men get away with what they did, even though we did what we could on our end, including offering victim advocates and services to the victims.

Ultimately I'd love to see Lupe toss Gilbert across the room next time he tries anything. 

Edited April 28, 2017 by TurtlePower
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[SPLAIN]

4 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Of course I'm aware of that, more than I can say on here, and the agency I worked for it didn't matter if someone didn't want to press charges or not. I've been both victim and fighter, and I became a fighter after becoming a victim (after months of PTSD and violent outbursts I began training for close quarters combat). I've been in training with victims of domestic violence who required extra help and support because the scenarios were very scary Some couldn't complete the training.

So, I do know. But being called to help and then being the bad guy--or even physically attacked for trying to help--is draining. For that, I'm glad to be out of the field. I grew tired of seeing these men get away with what they did, even though we did what we could on our end, including offering victim advocates and services to the victims.

Ultimately I'd love to see Lupe toss Gilbert across the room next time he tries anything. 

I'd love to have ten minutes alone with that bastard myself.  

[Otter]

No one has ever died because from not having sex.  I don't think there's enough brain bleach for me and then that green stuff!  Did Dr. Now leave a sponge in her or something?  Rape straight up.  And drinking is no excuse.  

It reminded me of Chuck in a way.  He needed his wife's insurance.  Lupe needed his caretaking, until she found the cousin.  Maybe the cousin got totally fed up.  Big hole in that story.  

but both of them invoke God.   God has nothing to do with that marriage.  He looks into the heart.  Those are two dark hearts.

[magemaud]

After catching this episode today, Gilbert has easily replaced Gareth as my "Most Hated Husband." 

[Suzywriter]

Sorry, but I don't believe he was having sex with her. I do believe he was cheating, but I don't believe the Sex Sent Me To The ER story within a story. She had to have smelled abominably from not only sponge baths given by an untrained man, she peed, pooped and ate in that same bed, and her demanding and whining would have annoyed any man right out of the door.

Cheating, now that's likely. The rest was sensationalism.

[anonymousgirl]

Lupe is finally divorcing Gilbert

 

 

 

Edited March 2, 2018 by anonymousgirl

[Suzywriter]

I had the Lupe/Ashley episode on while I did homework today.

Lupe never recovered from her dad leaving her in the bathtub and disappearing 35 years earlier. It seems like she insists on proving that she is a poor, helpless baby who needs care and must be rescued from that bathwater every single day, again and again.

[auntjess]

On 3/1/2018 at 11:54 PM, anonymousgirl said:

Lupe is finally divorcing Gilbert

Are there two Lupes?  Those pictures don't look like Lupe.  Looks more like Amber.