Quotes: Get Ready for a Large File Transfer!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Kaminski: Hail, HYDRA!

Garrett: Alright, alright, put your arms down, Kaminski. You look like a west Texas cheerleader at a pep rally.

Raina: You don't seem like [May]'s type.

Ward: I'm everyone's type.

Koenig: Yes, my bad. Fury is not dead.

Coulson: Are you threatening me?

Koenig: One hundred percent.

Edited April 17, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[myril]

(from 1x18 Providence)

Skye (about Talbot): He's lying, definitely, for sure.

Coulson: Skye, please, tell me something good.
Skye: We have internet.
Coulson: Yay. And, boy, have I lowered my expectations.

Skye: Okay. But once that's done, that can't be undone. We'll be ghosts. Not agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., just agents of... nothing.

Garrett (to Ward): Yeah, that straight version of you is something else.

Garrett (to Ward): Your little candy crush was on Centipede's tail long before she was recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D. Seemed like a good person to eliminate. My bad.

Triplett: ... But I'm telling you, he's chasing the white whale.
Fit: Okay. Have you even read "Moby Dick"?
Triplett: Yeah. Have you?
Fitz: That's not the point.

Fitz: It's times like these you stick with the guy you believe in.

Garrett: Welcome to the toy store. All right, grab all you can, boys. If it looks dangerous, good. Alien? Even better.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Skye: Police report out of Morocco, attempted murder. The victim says the guy appeared out of nowhere, disappeared into thin air.

Koenig: Yeah, you just described every mugging ever.

Koenig: Aren't you clever?

Skye: Aren't you sneaky?

Skye: Oh, I thought you were a comms agent, not agent of playing video games while hiding in a bunker.

Skye: You can't choose to feel.

Ward: Usually I can. It's different with us.

Skye: Us is a strong word. I mean, I know I kissed you but to be fair I thought there was a 97% chance we were going to DIE.

Ward: [specialists] are all cut from the same cloth.

Skye: Black kevlar?

May's mom: 500 miles and I don't even get a thank you.

May: I was just about to-

May's mom: It's too late.

May: Thank you.

May's mom: I said, "Too late."

Edited April 23, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Dagny]

Simmons: "A TARDIS."

[MacGuffin]

May's mom: 500 miles and I don't even get a thank you.

May: I was just about to-

May's mom: It's too late.

May: Thank you.

May's mom: I said, "Too late."

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Maria: SHIELD implodes and everyone wants answers. The CIA, NSA, NRL, I can handle. But Congress? Congress is like kindergarten. "Where is this fridge? What was in there? Who or what is a man-thing?" I swear, I need a cocktail and a lobotomy.

 

Coulson: If I come out, will you shoot me? Cause then I won't come out.

[AlexJayne]

Hill: I repeat, stand down and surrender. [pause] You gonna answer me Ward, or do I have to come over there?

Ward: Maria Hill. Kinda hoped you went down with the Triskelion.

Hill: And I hoped you weren't the duplicitous lowlife you turned out to be, but, here we are.

Ward: Gonna be honest with you Hill, having a pretty bad day. So if I were you, I'd get the hell out of my way.

Hill: Give up Skye, and we'll talk about it.

Ward: Yeah, that's not happening.

Hill: You know, I never liked you Ward, not since our first sit down, but I never figured you for John Garrett's lap dog.

Ward: Well, a lot of us lost respect for Fury when he picked you as his second. He needed eye candy around, he could have at least picked Romanoff.

Hill: That's funny. I'll tell her you said that.

[formerlyfreedom]

Coulson (over radio): Skye, Trip, get ready for a large file transfer.

Skye: How large?

*File cabinet crashes through fourth floor window*

[ElectricBoogaloo]

News guy: Speculation continues as to whether this super human assassination was carried out by a man, monster, or machine.

Fitz: The correct answer is D, all of the above.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Coulson: Get ready for a large file transfer.

 

Ward: Give me one reason not to blow your head off.

Garrett: I brought tacos?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Coulson: So what do you say? Are you ready to change the world?

May: No. But I'm ready to kick some ass.

 

Coulson: Did you bring a noisemaker?

Antoine: Sir, I bring the noise AND the funk wherever I go.

 

General: This is your strategy consultant?

Quinn: He's part time.

 

Garrett: You don't need to be set to default. You haven't left me alone all day.

Mike: I was told to never leave your side, sir.

Garrett: I love you, too.

 

Skye: You're not the evil I was referring to. Garrett is evil. You're just weak, doing anything you're told. I hope Garrett orders you to walk into traffic.

 

Skye: I have a weapon much better than a bomb that will absolutely destroy you.

Ward: Why's that?

Skye: Because you slept with her and she's really pissed off.

 

Coulson: Sir?

Fury: You don't have to call me "sir." I'm dressed like I live under a bridge.

 

Ward: Reminds me of the old days.

May: You were never on top.

 

Garrett: When was the last time anyone saw a tag team wrestling match with four dead guys?

[formerlyfreedom]

Coulson: Sir?

Fury: You don't have to call me "sir." I'm dressed like I live under a bridge.

 

THIS. Was awesome. Along with about every thing the two said to each other. I will be back with quotes, this episode was chock fulla them!

[dusang]

Garrett: When was the last time anyone saw a tag team wrestling match with four dead guys?

 

OMG I just got that!! BWAH HA HA HA!!

[1TrackMind]

"A part... a part of something bigger! If you tell me this whole Hydra path you took is because you misheard my damn 'one man' speech!"

[Reishe]

I will be back with quotes, this episode was chock fulla them!

 

While he wasn't credited on IMDB for writing this episode, I really got the feeling while watching it that Joss was hands-on on this one, and the dialogue was a big part of that.

[KirkB]

Fury and Coulson snarking at Garrett definitely sounded like Joss.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

May: You have no choice but to meet them face to face, get a read on them.

Coulson: I know and I prefer it, but flying economy blows...I did score an exit row on the way back from London.

 

Ward: I started running at the walls.

Skye: You should have run faster.

[kitlee625]

“Isn’t that your mate who went to the dark side?” - Lance Hunter

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Coulson: This is fun, right? Isn't this fun? Look, cufflinks!
May: I will pay $500 right now for a pair of flats.

 

Tripp: I was babysitting an empty plane. How is this fair?

Hunter: It's weird. Women just like me, always have. Never understood it. Must be a magnetism thing, I guess. Who can explain it, eh?

Skye: If it makes you feel any better, I don't get it either.

 

Skye: [May] just said more words than I've heard her say in a year.

 

Coulson: We're blown.

May: Why?

Coulson: No idea. Maybe Talbot's still pissed cause we kidnapped him that time.

 

Skye: I'm a good, helpful soldier.

Hunter: Well I happen to appreciate your instinct to be thorough, I myself prefer a pint and a good nap but then I'm the lazy type.

Skye: Lazy's not the first word that comes to mind.

Hunter: Dangerous?

Skye: Mmm mmm.

Hunter: I understand but truly it should be lazy. I just hide it well.

 

Skye: At least you got away from your ex. Mine is now the psycho living in our basement.

Mac: You know, I wish I could relate but all my exes are awesome.

Hunter: Is that right? I seem to remember an entire year where you had to pretend you liked quinoa.

 

[watching real May and fake May preparing to fight]

Coulson: I can't believe I'm the only one seeing this.

 

Fitz: You're the only one without, um -

Hunter: Any technical skills whatsoever.

Fitz: Yes!

 

May: If you were really me, you wouldn't talk so much.

 

Hunter: Guys, drop everything!

Fitz: No, this is worth a fortune. I'm not going to drop it.

 

Hunter: I turned out to be a genius at mechanical engineering.

 

Talbot: I did WHAT now? I mean, a painting, Coulson? And you weren't immediately suspicious it wasn't me?

Coulson: To be fair, we're not that close.

 

Talbot: You know, I spent five long months in an enemy war camp. You people make me miss those days. But hey, why don't we keep chatting on this secure line you've hacked so I can draw a bead on your location? We can get some quality face time.

May: Fake me - you did you know she wasn't me?

Coulson: Little things. And she wanted to get coffee.

May: Did you punch her in the face?

 

May: I don't have to make a plan because I already have one. I am not shooting you in the head. I am never shooting you in the head.

 

Whitehall: I generally don't do my own dirty work anymore. We should all aspire to do only that which we enjoy, don't you agree?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Coulson: Agent Walters, how's the Netherlands?

Walters: The same as always. Lots of bikes, lots of weed.

 

Fitz: It's the micro, uh, this thing.

 

May: We have two options. One - fire fight. Surprise them, take down as many as we can before they bring out heavy artillery.

Hunter: And option two? Just to hear it.

 

Hunter: She can handle it. Deception's her forte.

[May and Bobbi exchange a look that clearly says, "What a dick!"]

Hunter: I mean that sincerely, not passive aggressively, as in it's a good attribute for a spy. Oh bloody hell.

 

You always remember every little detail.

Hunter: Try being married to someone who remembers every little detail. IT's notthat charming. You think I'm being petty, don't you? Well, I'm not. I don't have a problem with Bobbi kissing that guy.

May: Good, because you had a hickey on your neck for a week after our mission in Miami.

Hunter: Excuse me for doing my job thoroughly! And with style.

 

Bobbi: Are you even listening to yourself right now? Oh wait, of course you are. You love the sound of your own voice.

Hunter: Because it's reasonable. One of us has to be.

 

Simmons: I'm trying not to treat you any differently.

Fitz: I know, but I am different. I'm trying not to be but I am. And for some reason you can't accept it.

Simmons: Fitz,that's not fair. I'm only trying to help.

Fitz: You left. I needed help. I needed help with the cloaking. I needed help with lots of other things and someone to talk through at least. You gave up on me.

 

Coulson: How do you think they'd feel if they knew your brother was HYDRA? It's an awfully complicated idea to grasp, especially in an election year.

Senator Ward: Are you threatening me?
Coulson: No, I'm telling you that I have your brother in my basement.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Fitz: Coulson's lost his-

Mac: Marbles? Mind?

Fitz: Memories.

Edited November 17, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[I Love Me]

The Doctor: Super!.....I don't know what you're talking about.  (slight paraphrasing)

[ChelseaNH]

Coulson: What are we talking about? Tesseract-level power?
The Doctor: Sure. ... I don’t know what that is.

[I Love Me]

The Doctor: It’s always good to look your enemy right in the eye.

 

Now that he's on screen and played by Kyle MacLachlan, I'm loving Skye's father.  What a difference a season and some good casting make.  

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Sam: You're going to need a lanyard.

 

Bobbi: Don't die out there.

Hunter: It's Canada.

 

Sam: I'm Sam. Billy's the shorter one.

 

Billy: I'm Billy. Sam's the shorter one.

 

Coulson: Ooh, hats! I wish I was a hat guy. Some guys can really pull that look off, you know.

 

Sam: I wonder if that's weird for May.

Tripp: How do you mean?

Sam: Someone else having your face like that. It's just creepy.

 

Tripp: How many of you are there anyway? Brothers, I mean.

Sam and Billy: Thirteen.

Tripp: Thirteen?!

Edited December 3, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Chaos Theory]

I have been watching season 1 on Netflix and this one made me laugh;

Season 1:14 T.A.H.A.T..I.

 

COulson:  What do you think Fitz?  Can you get us inside?

Fitz:  To Certain. horrible death?  Absolutely..  

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ward: How's your marksmanship?

Skye: I don't know. Hand me your sidearm and let's find out.

 

Bobbi: Okay, this is bad.

Hunter: What's bad?

Bobbi: Well, Diego's early and he's wearing a suit.

Hunter: Uhh, yeah, you're going to have to connect the dots on why that's bad.

Bobbi: Well, he's never early and he never wears a suit.

 

Coulson: Two goals - stop the drill, find Skye,

Hunter: Aren't you forgetting a third?

Coulson: What's that?
Bobbi: Don't die out there. We tend to remind each other not to die.

Coulson: I thought that was implicit.

Bobbi: He likes to hear it.

Hunter: Who doesn't like to hear it?

 

Hunter: Join S.H.I.E.L.D., travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting unusual people - and kill them!

 

Skye: Never turn your back on the enemy. You taught me that.

[Raja]

"my brother's worn out, he's plugged in to recharge"

Trip- "I know what you're doing"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Fitz: Well it's not good to keep things to yourself, Mac. I know what you're going through.

Mac: Really? You know what it's like to lose control, to be trapped inside your own body and not be able to tell it what to do? To watch yourself hurt the people that you care about?

Fitz: Yeah.

 

May: I count four left. You know what that means.

Coulson: Not really.

[May grabs Coulson's gun, rolls across the hood of the car, does an aerial, and shoots the remaining four bad guys]

May: That's what it means. It means I'm gonna do that.

 

May: "They'll never take us alive"? Really? A little over the top, don't you think?

Coulson: I only had a day to come up with this whole thing. Besides, if I let you write the script no one would say anything.

 

Hunter: Is every Radio Shack a HYDRA outpost? I always suspected.

 

Raina: What happened to me?

Cal: Metamorphosis by the look of it.

Raina: I was supposed to become something divine, something transcendent. My grandmother said I'd be a goddess, not some gnarled freak of nature covered in thorns.

Cal: You always did like flowers.

 

Raina: That bitch took what was mine!

Cal: We all have our disappointments.

 

Bobbi: Drop the accent. It makes you sound like a douchebag.

Hunter: Now you know what it feels like for me to live in this country.

 

Skye: Maybe I just need a hug.

 

Mac: I have a little trouble dealing with my anger sometimes.

May: Join the club.

 

Mac: I hope it didn't blow my chance to work on Lola one day.

Coulson: After that little RC version you built for me, I'm genuinely considering it.

[Mac smiles proudly]

Coulson: Although I couldn't figure out how to make it fly.

[Mac's face falls]

Mac: It doesn't.

 

May: For Coulson, Tripp was the embodiment of the principles he wants SHIELD to be built upon: compassion, loyalty, heart.

 

Jemma: [Tripp] would be mad I told you that story.

Skye: No, he'd say-

Skye and Bobbi: "Come on, girl!"

Edited March 4, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[I Love Me]

Raina: I can't live like this.

Cal: Then don't.  

 

I am really enjoying him on this show.  

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Lady Sif: My mind is that of a lost adolescent. I can provide no information of value.

 

Coulson: Who can explain the mysteries of the Asgardian brain?

 

Mac: What's up, Magnum PI?

 

[lamp post cracks in half and falls over]

Hunter: I barely touched it, I swear.

Mac: Trust me, there is no universe in which I think you did that on your own.

 

Skye: You speak Portuguese?

BobbI: I'm no expert. It's a pretty language. It's pretty hard to gauge if someone's lying.

Skye: Are you an expert at that?

Bobbi: At lying or telling if someone is lying?

Skye: I have a feeling you're probably an expert at both.

 

Cardozo: You are a dangerous monster!

Lady Sif: I am no monster. I am sometimes dangerous but only toward those who are deserving. [to Coulson] I do not actually know. Is it only toward those who are-

Coulson: No, that was right.

Lady Sif: Excellent. Answer his question, elderly man!

 

Lady Sif: Only seven intelligent species across the known realms require heightened levels of nitrogen gas, none humanoid. I learned this as a child. Did you not?

 

Mac: There goes your modeling career.

Bobbi: Look who's talking.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Karla: Are you with S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Cal: I'll try not to be offended. We are absolutely not from S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

Simmons: [Fitz] lied to me!

Bobbi: We're spies. We lie for a living.

 

Skye: Tell me about the wedding! I'm thinking May could go either way - understated or full bridezilla. She can be a control freak.

Andrew: I'm not here to discuss my ex.

Skye: Did you guys have actual conversations? You know, like pillow talk? Or was it just pillow stern looks?

 

Andrew: How long are you going to deflect?

Skye: Barely in and out comes the psychobabble.

Andrew: It's not psychobabble. It's just a word - that describes what you're doing.

 

Andrew: [skye] thinks the world of you.

May: I taught her how to fire an automatic. Of course she likes me.

 

Fitz: It seems that May isn't a good cook.

Simmons: Something Agent May doesn't excel at. Interesting!

 

Fitz: They're a bizarre pair. [Andrew] listens for a living and [May] doesn't speak.

 

Coulson: Wendell Levi. Genius level IQ but no moral compass or regard for human life.

Bobbi: I prefer my criminals stupid.

 

Bobbi: Karla Faye Gideon. Razors permanently grafted into her fingers.
Coulson: Worked in a medical lab with her abusive boyfriend. Wanted to protect herself.
Bobbi: It's like a Lifetime movie.

 

Cal: You gotta try the sausage biscuit.

Wendell: I don't like food.

Cal: You're an interesting fella.

 

Skye: How about you show me an inkblot and I'll tell you about my first time?

Andrew: Humor, so that's your thing. It's an effective way to avoid thinking about how monumentally painful your life is right now.

Skye: Good pep talk.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Hunter: I'll be the first to admit the guy's not perfect. Sometimes chews with his mouth open, tends to hog the mic on karaoke night. But other than that, he's not so bad really.

 

Hunter: Perhaps we could have discussed this alone, without all of Hufflepuff looking on.

 

Coulson: You and I need to take a ride.

Skye: Okay, but why am I suddenly feeling like Old Yeller right now?

 

Coulson: I'm sorry about everything that's happening.

Skye: Not your fault. The blame begins and ends with my dad.

Coulson: Well, you wouldn't be the first person to have parents with misguided intentions.

Skye: Nope, just the first whose crazy dad lured her to an alien city to get earthquake powers.

 

Talbot: The thing about a riding mower is it gives you a superior cut. Lets you control the terrain.

Underling: That's very informative, sir. [turns to leave]

Talbot: You've got two hands, four wheels, one saddle. That's really what it's all about, lieutenant.

 

Talbot: It's a little early for Taco Tuesday, isn't it?

 

Talbot: I'm going to be up to my ears in Edible Arrangements trying to make this right.

Edited March 26, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

May: I told Coulson there was no way. I hate being wrong.

Bobbi: I can explain.

May: Can't wait.

 

May: The last person that betrayed me? I broke his larynx.

 

Bobbi: Commander Gonzalez, wait.

Hartley: We're not. H.Y.D.R.A.

Gonzalez: I've heard that before.

 

May: [bobbi and Mac]'re not killing anyone.

Coulson: Is this you looking on the bright side?

 

Hunter: Sorry I'm late. Evacuation pods wash up when and where they want to.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Lincoln: You're not very trusting, are you?

Skye: I woke up naked on a table in a place no one can even point to on a map, so call me crazy.

Lincoln: You weren't totally naked.

Gonzalez: There's loyalty and there's stubbornness.

Coulson: You always travel with whiskey and shot glasses?

Hunter: You never know when you're going to need someone to keep you warm on a cold night.

Coulson: Two glasses?

Hunter: The other one's for the person keeping me warm. But in your case, I'll make an exception.

Hunter: Gonzalez, the Love Boat captain?

Coulson: S.H.I.E.L.D. is here.

Hunter: Ours or theirs?

Hunter: There's the small matter of who's going to fly that thing. Do you even know how?

Coulson: I've watched May fly. I know a little.

Hunter: How little?

Coulson: I can get us off the ground.

Hunter: You do know there's more to it than that, like getting us back on the ground, for example.

Hunter: At some point, you might have mentioned that backup was a lethal cyborg.

Coulson: Truthfully, I just wanted to see the look on your face when he showed up. Priceless.

Hunter: Glad I amuse you.

Mike: You know I can hear you up here.

Edited April 8, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Sakura12]

My favorite line from Hunter was. "What happened? Did she just get abducted by aliens?" The way he said it was perfect. 

[Humbugged]

My favorite line from Hunter was. "What happened? Did she just get abducted by aliens?" The way he said it was perfect. 

Followed by Phil saying Gordo had also taken Cal and Raina

 

then

 

Hunter's 'I've only been gone a week'

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Bahraini agent: This is a very dangerous area - black market importers, thieves, not a place for tourists.

Coulson: So she didn't come for falafel.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Fitz: Hunter!

Hunter: How did you even call this tablet?

Fitz: Are you watching Mexican football? Where are you?
Hunter: Uh, undisclosed secure location?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

[phone rings]

Ward: Hey, baby.

Coulson: Hey, sweetie.

 

Mike: That mask on your face. Got any more of those lying around?

Agent 33: Afraid not.

Mike: At least I have my winning personality.

 

Ward: I like who I am.

Coulson: A murderer and a traitor?

 

Hunter: I'm afraid it's in the job description, mate. Expedient alliances with despicable characters.

 

Cal: You want to put in an order? I'll bring you back something from the mainland - gossip mags, soda pop. Do you like Funyuns?

 

Hunter: Three men, heavily armed. Bet there's more where they came from.

Ward: Does it matter? You've got a cyborg onboard with rockets in his arm.

Coulson: He's not a cyborg. He's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. With rockets in his arm.

 

Ward: Trust me.

Coulson: "Trust me"? I ought to shoot you just for saying that.

 

Cal: Bookstores, dead. Video stores, dead. Olf fashioned ice cream shops, dead. The internet killed everything.

Skye: I'm not sure if the internet killed ice cream.

 

Fitz: Skye! Skye's here!

Agent 33: The Skye who shot you three times?

Ward: Four.

[Sarahastro]

Coulson: Take me to your leader.

[DeLurker]

Mike: That mask on your face. Got any more of those lying around?

Agent 33: Afraid not.

Mike: At least I have my winning personality.

I missed this and I am really sorry about that.

[Raja]

Ward: "This is great, finally got the team back together"

 

Coulson "at least until Fury comes back to pick this up, oops spoiler alert"

Edited April 29, 2015 by Raja

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mike: We didn't get to formally meet. My name's Mike. I think we got knocked out together.

 

Lincoln: You got all that hardware. Use one of those weapons and get us out of here,

Mike: Right. Because I didn't think of that.

Lincoln: At least your sarcasm still works.

 

Gonzales: [Grant]'ll be accompanied by guards at all times.

May: Each of whom will shoot you without hesitation. Remember that.

Grant: May's actually pretty friendly - once you get to know her.

 

Ward: Can we just address the elephant on the plane? Mistakes were made.

Fitz: By you.

Ward: And people got hurt.

Fitz: By you.

 

Skye: I'm still happy I shot you.

Fitz: Yeah, me too.

Simmons. Should have aimed for the face.

May: Yeah.

 

Coulson: And Ward? No more talking to people.

 

Jiaying: What can you tell me about her?

Cal: Rayna? She's manipulative, dangerous, deceitful. We had good times.

 

Mac: When everything settles down around here, next round of drinks is on me.

Hunter: A round of drinks? Really? You choked me out and kidnapped me. A round of drinks is the first thing in a long, long, long list of things you're going to do for me.

 

Redshirt: A cloaked plane is on approach.

Bakshi: Cloaked? Then how can you see it?

 

Coulson: Really starting to wish I hadn't eaten that Hot Pocket earlier.

 

Ward: So that's what happened in Puerto Rico. The least you could do is thank me.

Skye: How about I just don't try to kill you again?

 

Mike: It's not as bad as it looks.

Simmons: Really?

Mike: No, it's pretty bad.

Edited April 29, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Sakura12]

Skye: I thought her gift was spinning really fast to collect gold rings.

[I Love Me]

From Episode 18:

 

Skye (when looking at the name on Cal's office door): "Daisy Johnson, huh."  

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Skye: You're safe now. Added bonus - you're not naked with needles poking out of your skin.

 

May: I miss my plane.

Coulson: Me too. Though if you think about it, mostly terrible stuff happened on that thing.

 

Cal: They think I'm a murderer, which is technically true.

 

Jiaying: You returned Lincoln and Skye to us. We'd like to return someone of interest to you. He's killed agents of yours, hasn't he?

Cal: Uh, no, no, not Shield agents. I don't think. No, just people. Who had it coming.

[I Love Me]

Cal: Uh, no, no, not Shield agents. I don't think. No, just people. Who had it coming.

 

The way Cal said "Who had it coming" was hysterical.  The tone, face, the way he sounded slightly put out but also mad about having to kill them was funny.  

[ChelseaNH]

Coulson: My understanding is that you killed a lot of people.
Cal: I suppose that's true.
Coulson: Tell me how you did it.
Cal: With style.

 

I'm gonna miss that wild and crazy guy.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Coulson: Ward's logic is rarely logical.

 

Coulson: Tell me you figured out what drugs Cal took because my gut's saying everything ever made.

Simmons: I haven't fully sequenced the formula yet, if only for the multitude of trace drugs found but my initial list includes anabolic androgenic steroids, a liver enzyme blocker, various metabolic enhancers, methamphetamines, what appears to be gorilla testosterone and, no lie, a drop of peppermint. I think it's an ill conceived attempt at super strength.

 

Hunter: A day ago I never wanted to talk to her again. Now she's all I can think about.

May: Love's weird that way.

Hunter: I'm not sure it's love. More like a dance of desire, discomfort, and unreliable feelings.

 

Mac: It's Gordon, right?

Gordon: And you are?

Mac: I'm the guy who kills Gordon.

 

Mac: Come on, No Eyes, show yourself.

Gordon: No Eyes? That is the best you can do?

 

Mac: What the hell took you so long?

Coulson: It's a big boat with poor signage.

 

Mac: What are those things?

Fitz: Quantum field disrupters. Should contain him if he comes back.

Mac: Yeah, of course. Why didn't I think of that?

Fitz: That's okay. You've been busy. And you're not a quantum physicist. It's completely understandable.

 

Gordon: I'm trapped in here! That's not possible. What did you do?

Fitz: It's science, biatch.

 

Coulson: Did you manage to get an accurate read on Bobbi?

Andrew: I get pretty straight answers with morphine in the mix.

 

Andrew: You convinced Mac not to quit.

Coulson: Yeah, well, he kind of owed me after cutting off my hand without asking.

Edited May 14, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo