S05.E16: Sentenced To Life

[Primetimer]

Steve's community service has him turning an elderly screen legend into a mascot.

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[Primetimer]

It's just sad that they can't see all their common interests, starting with identical lipstick.

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[txhorns79]

Can I just say that Val looks incredible in that picture being used with the visual aids?  If I didn't know the context, I'd say she and Kelly were just about to make out with each other.   

[TeeVee329]

Seriously!  I think at least 56% of Kelly's cat butt face is envy about how amazing Val's hair, boobs, etc. look.

[benteen]

LOL!  The only way anyone from 90210 is going to get an Emmy is by stealing it.  I'm not counting Hillary Swank in that argument.

[benteen]

The story Saul tells about calling his kid two weeks before he dies was reused on Hawaii Five-0 about 2-3 years ago by Shelley Berman.

[TeeVee329]

Here's a question - if Kelly has taken "four semesters of abnormal psych" slash is a psychology major and Val is presumably taking it as a core requirement, would they even be in the same class?  Not.

Does Val ever collect on this favor?

Also, Saul, Steve IS biologically related to Rush, we'll get there...

Edited November 21, 2016 by TeeVee329

[ZeroDiscipline]

I just love Val so much. And Kelly's face up there when Val says "You'd do the same for me, right?" Sick burn.

[Tooch]

OMG Kelly's anti-Val crusade is so maddening. Reminder: At this point in the story, it's been only a few months since Val's father blew his own brains out. What does Kelly know about Val, besides that fact? That she strung Steve along and kept it a secret that she was hooking up with Dylan. That is literally IT. At this point none of the other "bad girl Val" stuff has come out. She hasn't done a single thing to anyone but Steve, and Steve is over it. So maybe not being such a toxic bitch to a 19/20 year old girl who suffered a huge tragedy only a few months ago isn't out of order? For Fuck's Sake Kelly You Are The Worst! 

However, my defense of Val on these grounds is reminding me of the atrocious ret-conning they do with the story of her father in future seasons. It explained Val's personality even more, true, but it negated the whole lovely sequence of events leading to her sweet relationship with David. Anyway, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. 

[ZeroDiscipline]

Why the fuck do Brandon and Kelly care if Valerie goes to Jamaica or not? At this point in time, she is what, 6 months removed from finding her father dead by suicide (before the later ret-con that revealed she killed him)? Couldn't she be forgiven for skipping Thanksgiving and going to Jamaica instead? And then be left alone? But I do agree with Kelly that she doesn't have to share her notes with Valerie, and should not be taken to task for that. And I love that Kelly calls herself a bitch, it saves everyone else the trouble.

[ZeroDiscipline]

I am so disturbed at the casualness with which Dylan approaches his DUI, and resulting slap on the wrist. At no point does he acknowledge that he got off real easy, because of his privilege. And then to take it a step further, when Jesse points out that he was lucky the cops didn't find any heroin in his car and Dylan angrily responds "Well then they didn't look hard enough did they?!??!?!" What a fucking miserable prick. Cannot be pleased. Why Jesse wastes any time on this dillhole is beyond me, except that he proves to be kind of a dillhole himself. Dillholes got to stick together. Man the writing on this show is so terrible, out of touch and yet kind of exactly how things are sometimes.

[AndySmith]

Isn't Jesse still a law student at this point?

Quote

At no point does he acknowledge that he got off real easy, because of his privilege

It's (supposedly) a soap opera show about rich kids in Beverly Hills...why would any of them acknowledge that?

Edited November 21, 2016 by AndySmith

[Tooch]

2 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

Why the fuck do Brandon and Kelly care if Valerie goes to Jamaica or not? At this point in time, she is what, 6 months removed from finding her father dead by suicide (before the later ret-con that revealed she killed him)?

Yep, I mentioned this in the visual aids thread. It's completely absurd to me that Kelly gets up on her high horse about what Val chooses to do with her own goddamn Christmas vacation. She even says right in front of Kelly that she just couldn't deal with going home just yet -- with the implied BECAUSE OF THE MEMORY OF FINDING MY DEAD DAD IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BRAINS. And Kelly is still just eager to snot away. She gives me face flames, she is so terrible.

Remember fun season 2 Kelly? Le sigh. 

Jesse and his legal career make me snort. I can't wait for the "5 year reunion" episode where Andrea and Jesse are about to break up because he's taking it out on her that he didn't make partner. At that point he'd have been out of law school what, a year or two? (Though his hairline clearly had at least 40 years' experience.)

[ZeroDiscipline]

Isn't Jesse still a law student at this point?

  Quote

At no point does he acknowledge that he got off real easy, because of his privilege

It's (supposedly) a soap opera show about rich kids in Beverly Hills...why would any of them acknowledge that?

Hey now. Steve generously agreed to serve his court-ordered community service, even though his dad arranged for him to forego it.

[ZeroDiscipline]

  2 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

Why the fuck do Brandon and Kelly care if Valerie goes to Jamaica or not? At this point in time, she is what, 6 months removed from finding her father dead by suicide (before the later ret-con that revealed she killed him)?

Yep, I mentioned this in the visual aids thread. It's completely absurd to me that Kelly gets up on her high horse about what Val chooses to do with her own goddamn Christmas vacation. She even says right in front of Kelly that she just couldn't deal with going home just yet -- with the implied BECAUSE OF THE MEMORY OF FINDING MY DEAD DAD IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BRAINS. And Kelly is still just eager to snot away. She gives me face flames, she is so terrible.

Remember fun season 2 Kelly? Le sigh. 

Jesse and his legal career make me snort. I can't wait for the "5 year reunion" episode where Andrea and Jesse are about to break up because he's taking it out on her that he didn't make partner. At that point he'd have been out of law school what, a year or two? (Though his hairline clearly had at least 40 years' experience.)

And how do we get from "I don't like that Val lied" to "I'm going to call her mother." Whaaaaaaaat? These are nineteen year olds. When the sketchy friend announces that instead of going to Buffalo for Christmas, she went to Jamaica, and brought back souvenirs, the appropriate response from a nineteen year old college sophomore is "Cool. Did you bring back any hash in your buttcheeks?" At no point would calling the girl's mother enter the picture. Way to be ungrateful, Brandon, as usual.

[AndySmith]

As the visual aids pointed out, given how smug he seemed to be about it all, I'm not sure "generously" is the right word to use (unless you were being sarcastic, in which case, ignore everything I just said).

[Halo]

Quote

And how do we get from "I don't like that Val lied" to "I'm going to call her mother." Whaaaaaaaat? These are nineteen year olds. When the sketchy friend announces that instead of going to Buffalo for Christmas, she went to Jamaica, and brought back souvenirs, the appropriate response from a nineteen year old college sophomore is "Cool. Did you bring back any hash in your buttcheeks?" At no point would calling the girl's mother enter the picture. Way to be ungrateful, Brandon, as usual.

So much word. I can't belive I was on Brando's side in the fight with Kelly, but he was completely correct and his tone had a point for once. Too bad he actually called Val's mom, but I LOVED that he said he couldn't explain why he was asking if she knew Val went to Jamaica. Busted being a snoop! 

[ZeroDiscipline]

48 minutes ago, AndySmith said:

As the visual aids pointed out, given how smug he seemed to be about it all, I'm not sure "generously" is the right word to use (unless you were being sarcastic, in which case, ignore everything I just said).

Yes, I am being sarcastic. Run of the mill smart-mouth over here. It speaks well of your character that you are giving me the benefit of the doubt though!

[TeeVee329]

6 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

Why the fuck do Brandon and Kelly care if Valerie goes to Jamaica or not? 

Seriously.  It'd be one thing if Valerie had come in chirping about visiting Buffalo and then Kelly, like, found her hotel bill or something from Jamaica.  But Valerie was pretty open about what she did.  She didn't lie at all, KELLY. 

[SoupThrower]

3 hours ago, Halo said:

So much word. I can't belive I was on Brando's side in the fight with Kelly, but he was completely correct and his tone had a point for once. Too bad he actually called Val's mom, but I LOVED that he said he couldn't explain why he was asking if she knew Val went to Jamaica. Busted being a snoop! 

I love how when it is Kelly v. Val it is always Brandon taking Val's side most of the time. The worst thing she did was like string Steve along. That's it. 

Also yeah Donna has heard Ray play in a cut scene with the fire episodes. But David and Clare haven't. Donna and Kelly irked bad this episode. The latter especially. 

[SoupThrower]

I think this is the point where Kelly passes Brandon as the worst. Brandon was on song correctly but shouldn't have called Val's mother and just told Kelly that he did. 

He proved how petty Kelly actually was correctly. 

[ZeroDiscipline]

5 minutes ago, SoupThrower said:

The worst thing she did was like string Steve along.

And he's over it! And didn't they shag the night of the fire anyway? It was certainly alluded to! Kelly is only like this to Val because she feels threatened by her, WRT Dylan and Brandon. Both of whom she screws over in a matter of months.

[TeeVee329]

54 minutes ago, SoupThrower said:

The worst thing she did was like string Steve along. That's it.

And notice Kelly's not directing her cat butt mouth at Dylan for his role in that.  Yes, yes, Dylan was in the midst of a relapse, but he knew full well he was doing something shitty to Steve. 

[AndySmith]

Quote

It speaks well of your character that you are giving me the benefit of the doubt though!

Smart-mouths can sometimes recognize other smart-mouths...

[Nanna]

  Quote

And how do we get from "I don't like that Val lied" to "I'm going to call her mother." Whaaaaaaaat? These are nineteen year olds. When the sketchy friend announces that instead of going to Buffalo for Christmas, she went to Jamaica, and brought back souvenirs, the appropriate response from a nineteen year old college sophomore is "Cool. Did you bring back any hash in your buttcheeks?" At no point would calling the girl's mother enter the picture. Way to be ungrateful, Brandon, as usual.

So much word. I can't belive I was on Brando's side in the fight with Kelly, but he was completely correct and his tone had a point for once. Too bad he actually called Val's mom, but I LOVED that he said he couldn't explain why he was asking if she knew Val went to Jamaica. Busted being a snoop! 

Also, if Val was lying and didn't tell her mother that she was going to Jamaica, wouldn't she have - well, you know, called the Walshes to ask where her daughter was when she didn't turn up in Buffalo?! Did Kelly think that Val's mom didn't notice her daughter's absence? (Well, I guess Val could have lied and said she wanted to stay with the Walshes for christmas, but still, Kelly is a bitch).

[Nanna]

Is it wrong of me to like Steve when he's all "I'm not gonna do shit around here and you'll still sign my papers"-smug? At the very least, I prefer smug Steve over Steve with all the feels.

[ZeroDiscipline]

  On 11/21/2016 at 3:44 PM, Halo said:

    Quote

And how do we get from "I don't like that Val lied" to "I'm going to call her mother." Whaaaaaaaat? These are nineteen year olds. When the sketchy friend announces that instead of going to Buffalo for Christmas, she went to Jamaica, and brought back souvenirs, the appropriate response from a nineteen year old college sophomore is "Cool. Did you bring back any hash in your buttcheeks?" At no point would calling the girl's mother enter the picture. Way to be ungrateful, Brandon, as usual.

So much word. I can't belive I was on Brando's side in the fight with Kelly, but he was completely correct and his tone had a point for once. Too bad he actually called Val's mom, but I LOVED that he said he couldn't explain why he was asking if she knew Val went to Jamaica. Busted being a snoop! 

Also, if Val was lying and didn't tell her mother that she was going to Jamaica, wouldn't she have - well, you know, called the Walshes to ask where her daughter was when she didn't turn up in Buffalo?! Did Kelly think that Val's mom didn't notice her daughter's absence? (Well, I guess Val could have lied and said she wanted to stay with the Walshes for christmas, but still, Kelly is a bitch).

For sure. And also, if she didn't tell her mom, or made up some excuse, what is Brandon's point in calling her mom? The only possible outcome is to get Val in trouble. And that makes Brandon a very shitty "friend".

[scarynikki12]

I get they wanted a shortcut to setting Val up as Untrustworthy and Kelly's Great Enemy but they could have at least had her actually lie. She was completely open about her change of plans and Kelly's taking that as evidence of pathology? It's clear she took 4 semesters of Ab Psych because she kept failing. 

[CurlyATX]

I must have blocked out how dumb this episode was.  A few thoughts on the Kelly hates Val bit.

1. overall, I'm mad that I am forced to take Brandon's side.  What the hell is Kelly's deal?  Was she supposed to be a bitch or is this the long game to set her up as having "great instincts" on people?  I nearly ran off the road when I heard her "oh well" in response to Brandon telling her that he called Abby and she confirmed the story. 

2. This is the beginning of sophomore year, right?  Even at my UC which had the quarter system, it would be nearly impossible for an incoming sophomore to have taken 4 ab psych classes. 

3. Since when has Kelly been a smart student? Isn't she terribly insecure about her intelligence? Val should cozy up to someone else.

My final rant for this section, why is it SO hard for anyone on this show to say the words "I'm sorry"? It seems that most of these asshats spend their time hemming and hawing about why they were justified in their shitty behavior and when the wronged party tries to say anything, they reply with an 'I'm trying to apologize here!' reply vs. actually saying those words.  I think Kelly is a repeat offender.

[CurlyATX]

Am I wrong in siding with Ray on this one too? Maybe he feels that the Peach pit is a sellout crowd and doesn't want to water down his music. 

I hate Smug Steve the most... feelings Steve makes me laugh out loud.

Floppy haired ginger is hilarious.  I like how he sorta calls Nanna on her crap.

[Petunia13]

Explain to me like I'm Donna why Valerie has to answer to Kelly (who is not her spouse or life coach), for her whereabouts and her family business? 

If that's not enough out of order, total douchechills on rejecting loaning Val class notes and then giving her that preachy tightass lecture.  I remember when I was in college, I joined Facebook very early when it was only a dozen or so schools and if you didn't know everyone ....if you clicked their profile they were a link to one of your friends. Anyhow then many of us had our classes on our profile and it had a hyperlink if you clicked it it showed all the profiles in that class at that moment 210:550 Econ at Stanford or whatever. And sometimes people shared notes w complete strangers who missed lecture. I get migraines and one had intense visual auras during a crucial lecture and a girl I've never spoken to before I emailed her on the site met and gave me photo copies of her notes for that day. I did the same for a guy w flu.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Petunia13

[CurlyATX]

@Petunia13... that picture... needs a trigger warning.  luckily I wasn't at work, or else I'd have some 'splaining to do. 

re:notes.  Omg, I'm from the stone age but I would pretty much lend notes to anyone.  it's just freaking notes- not like how ohndrea writes a paper for Steve.

[scarynikki12]

Seriously. Also, Kelly is in a sorority and would have access not only to notes from various members who came before her, but also the tests of professors who don't like to make changes. Realistically, Kelly would have been cheating her ass off to finally pass this class (failed three times based on her own words) and her not wanting to help Val out of fear of getting caught would have been way more interesting (though it is my personal head canon) than what we got. 

[lancemalone42]

Kell coulda gave up the notes 

[lancemalone42]

Freakin Steve ?... The dangling keys ??

[Petunia13]

Val: Hey can you loan me a tampon?

Kelly (making cat butt mouth and prissy tone): I'm sorry, but some of us plan ahead and carry supplies and put in the work to chart our cycles. 

GTFO with this passive aggression and jealousy. 

[Bmacb]

Has anyone read this beautiful interview? 

https://teendramawhore.com/2009/10/04/exclusive-executive-producer-charles-rosin-reflects-on-90210s-early-years/

New to the forums here but longtime 90210 scholar. Hello fellow rad people!

[Dawn Grobe]

This is the end of their third semester in college, how has Kelly taken 4 semesters of ab psych?