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Sex And The City - General Discussion


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The HBO sequel series, And Just Like That, has its own forum here.

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On 8/28/2020 at 12:36 AM, RealHousewife said:

I don’t blame Miranda one bit for wanting her sleep, and what Steve did was wrong. But I agree the relationship wasn’t healthy. Didn’t they go several months without sex? You don’t have to be Samantha to believe something was wrong prior to the cheating. 

God, my ex wanted sex at 2am on a work night, and due to ED which he refused to receive treatment for, it went on for two miserable hours. Team Miranda on that, even though I liked Steve. Why the hell do men think women want to spend two damn hours having sex? Annoying. 

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On 8/28/2020 at 12:30 AM, Ms Blue Jay said:

She had to go to sleep because she's a lawyer that works like 60 hours a week.   So....... if Steve isn't in good enough bed, that Miranda would rather get 5 hours of sleep before an important day of work, I'm not going to blame Miranda for that. 🙄. Miranda is the breadwinner that houses Steve's mother for free.  If not for Miranda what dump would Steve live in and where would Steve's mother live.  

I mean, to me, that attitude that would indicate a pretty bad relationship between Steve and Miranda.  From what I recall, they were in the middle of sex when Miranda asked to just get it over with, which is not a good sign in any relationship.  This is not to say that Steve was right to cheat, only that the relationship had real problems already, regardless of whether he was cheating.     

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I mean, Kim Cattrall's most famous role before SATC was playing a literal Mannequin!  Of course she's as beautiful as a model. 

I tend to think her most famous role was playing the overly horny and loud gym teacher the male staff referred to as Lassie in the movie Porky's.  Though, I bet the Star Trek movie was probably also a big one for her career. 

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A lot of relationships have problems and in my opinion an adult should solve them in numerous ways that don't include sleeping with someone else when you are married.

I agree.  In a perfect world, Steve and Miranda should have worked out their relationship issues before he cheated.   

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In my perfect world Steve wouldn't have cheated at all, but considering he did I think Miranda's friends could have been a lot more supportive towards her instead of falling over themselves to defend him or yell at her for not forgiving him.

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The main thing that really irks me about the SATC films, is how poorly they are written. The first film is far better than the 2nd, but the first film has glaring writing flaws as well. The whole “Steve cheats on Miranda” storyline was soooo contrived and stupid. There were several ways they could’ve given Miranda/Steve marital strife that didn’t involve infidelity—Miranda’s workaholic schedule, Steve wanting another child, one of them going through career crisis due to the Great Recession that was happening around that time, etc...Instead, they go the lazy route and have Steve sleep with someone else. It was only a one-nighter, but still—it was soooo unnecessary and totally out of character for Steve to do. He would NEVER cheat on Miranda, as opposed to opening up a dialogue about the problems they were having 

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10 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I mean, to me, that attitude that would indicate a pretty bad relationship between Steve and Miranda.  From what I recall, they were in the middle of sex when Miranda asked to just get it over with, which is not a good sign in any relationship.  This is not to say that Steve was right to cheat, only that the relationship had real problems already, regardless of whether he was cheating.     

Exactly. Half a year without sex is a problem. Steve was wrong to cheat. Miranda’s friends should have understood her pain. I hate the storyline and agree with the post that the cheating wasn’t Steve, and the writers should have had some other issue they could have worked through. I find cheating extremely ugly. I’ve never cheated, and I don’t think I’d forgive a husband for cheating on me. However there was more to it than Steve trying to be marathon man and not understanding Miranda’s demanding career. How did they manage to go six months without sex? Miranda used to complain when she went less than half of that time without sex. I know she was less busy then, but still. 

9 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I tend to think her most famous role was playing the overly horny and loud gym teacher the male staff referred to as Lassie in the movie Porky's.  Though, I bet the Star Trek movie was probably also a big one for her career. 

I agree.  In a perfect world, Steve and Miranda should have worked out their relationship issues before he cheated.   

Is Porky’s any good? I’ve heard of it but have never seen it. I think I read it was kind of like an American Pie of the 80’s, which doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m a Kim Cattrall fan though so I wonder if I’m missing out.

I agree. For me, things just aren’t the same after cheating. 

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15 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Exactly. Half a year without sex is a problem. Steve was wrong to cheat. Miranda’s friends should have understood her pain. I hate the storyline and agree with the post that the cheating wasn’t Steve, and the writers should have had some other issue they could have worked through. I find cheating extremely ugly. I’ve never cheated, and I don’t think I’d forgive a husband for cheating on me. However there was more to it than Steve trying to be marathon man and not understanding Miranda’s demanding career. How did they manage to go six months without sex? Miranda used to complain when she went less than half of that time without sex. I know she was less busy then, but still. 

It's not just that Miranda was very busy, although time is a factor.  But think about what she's busy with - work responsibility, child responsibility, and caring for Steve's mom with dementia.  I can see how Miranda would not be feeling sexy and flirty with all that in her life and on her mind.  Any one of those responsibilities could stress or exhaust a person to the point of not being interested in sex, but all three very demanding roles at the same time are mentally, emotionally and physically A LOT.  No one is superwoman like that.  It would have been great if they had tackled THAT story line for Miranda and Steve - many women find themselves squeezed between the burdens of raising children and taking care of aging parents.

Edited by izabella
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1 hour ago, izabella said:

It's not just that Miranda was very busy, although time is a factor.  But think about what she's busy with - work responsibility, child responsibility, and caring for Steve's mom with dementia.  I can see how Miranda would not be feeling sexy and flirty with all that in her life and on her mind.  Any one of those responsibilities could stress or exhaust a person to the point of not being interested in sex, but all three very demanding roles at the same time are mentally, emotionally and physically A LOT.  No one is superwoman like that.  It would have been great if they had tackled THAT story line for Miranda and Steve - many women find themselves squeezed between the burdens of raising children and taking care of aging parents.

I remember all of Miranda’s responsibilities and didn’t expect her to be superwoman making love to her husband every night. But half a year? 

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7 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I remember all of Miranda’s responsibilities and didn’t expect her to be superwoman making love to her husband every night. But half a year? 

Stress and anxiety actually kill people, so yes, half a year.  That's nothing for someone who is stressed and exhausted every day. 

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2 hours ago, izabella said:

Stress and anxiety actually kill people, so yes, half a year.  That's nothing for someone who is stressed and exhausted every day. 

Due to what my own family and I have been through, I’ve probably seen, experienced, and know more than most when it comes to those issues. I think where some of us don’t see eye to eye is Steve. Some posts made it sound like he was an ungrateful brat who went off cheating after Miranda was too exhausted one night. The problem was much bigger than that, unless I’m remembering the six months incorrectly. That is all I’m saying.   

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Is Porky’s any good? I’ve heard of it but have never seen it. I think I read it was kind of like an American Pie of the 80’s, which doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m a Kim Cattrall fan though so I wonder if I’m missing out.

It's a much raunchier movie than American Pie.  I don't know that you are missing out, but her performance seemingly could have served as an audition for Samantha.

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9 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Due to what my own family and I have been through, I’ve probably seen, experienced, and know more than most when it comes to those issues. I think where some of us don’t see eye to eye is Steve. Some posts made it sound like he was an ungrateful brat who went off cheating after Miranda was too exhausted one night. The problem was much bigger than that, unless I’m remembering the six months incorrectly. That is all I’m saying.   

He still could have spoken to her or tried the counselling BEFORE the "solution" of cheating comes up.  It's not like cheating is the only solution out there .  There are multitudes of ways to deal with something like that.  It seemed like it didn't even occur to Miranda that this was some huge problem to Steve, meanwhile Steve could have been silently stewing about this issue for 6 months.  A closed mouth doesn't get fed.  If he doesn't try to talk about this, how will Miranda know?  It's not fair to put that standard on a wife.  If you don't psychically intuit what your man is thinking and feeling, he'll cheat on you - no warning, and it will be all your fault.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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2 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

He still could have spoken to her or tried the counseling BEFORE the "solution" of cheating comes up.  It's not like cheating is the only solution out there .  There are multitudes of ways to deal with something like that.

I don't know that anyone suggested Steve's only option was cheating.  I think the idea is just that the situation was not black and white. 

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7 minutes ago, txhorns79 said:

I don't know that anyone suggested Steve's only option was cheating.  I think the idea is just that the situation was not black and white. 

I didn't say the situation was black and white either?  This is my personal opinion on the situation.  The movie clearly took Steve's side (Carrie, Charlotte) and my opinion is the opposing one.  If everything was black and white there'd be nothing to say.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

He still could have spoken to her or tried the counselling BEFORE the "solution" of cheating comes up.  It's not like cheating is the only solution out there .  There are multitudes of ways to deal with something like that.  It seemed like it didn't even occur to Miranda that this was some huge problem to Steve, meanwhile Steve could have been silently stewing about this issue for 6 months.  A closed mouth doesn't get fed.  If he doesn't try to talk about this, how will Miranda know?  It's not fair to put that standard on a wife.  If you don't psychically intuit what your man is thinking and feeling, he'll cheat on you - no warning, and it will be all your fault.

1 hour ago, txhorns79 said:

I don't know that anyone suggested Steve's only option was cheating.  I think the idea is just that the situation was not black and white. 

Yes, that’s what my posts were about, not that the solution was cheating. I’ve never cheated, nor can I personally picture myself standing by a cheater. Steve messed up, fact. Miranda needed support from her friends, also fact. I think the girls cut Steve slack because he was sweeter than Big, played less games than Big, and the cheating just wasn’t him. And maybe they thought they had Miranda’s best interest at heart because they thought she wouldn’t be as happy without him, I don’t know. That’s what some folks who tell me they’d forgive cheating say, that they stay because despite the hurt, at the end of the day they are happier keeping the relationship. I would have been extremely hurt if I were in Miranda’s shoes.

I think Miranda was such a catch of a wife. How many women are as intelligent, hardworking, and compassionate enough to take in a mother in law and lovingly care for her like she did? One of the most touching moments was when Miranda helped give her a bath. But like you said, the situation wasn’t black and white. Steve was a generally good person. 

Edited by RealHousewife
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7 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Yes, that’s what my posts were about, not that the solution was cheating. I’ve never cheated, nor can I personally picture myself standing by a cheater. Steve messed up, fact. Miranda needed support from her friends, also fact. I think the girls cut Steve slack because he was sweeter than Big, played less games than Big, and the cheating just wasn’t him. And maybe they thought they had Miranda’s best interest at heart because they thought she wouldn’t be as happy without him, I don’t know. That’s what some folks who tell me they’d forgive cheating say, that they stay because despite the hurt, at the end of the day they are happier keeping the relationship. I would have been extremely hurt if I were in Miranda’s shoes.

I think Miranda was such a catch of a wife. How many women are as intelligent, hardworking, and compassionate enough to take in a mother in law and lovingly care for her like she did? One of the most touching moments was when Miranda helped give her a bath. But like you said, the situation wasn’t black and white. Steve was a generally good person. 

At this point Steve’s mother was no longer living with them and was in a memory care facility- which likely Miranda was paying for. Miranda was a hard worker and a good provider but it was kind of a gender swap that she often took Steve’s emotional labor and partnership for granted sometimes. AND it’s not like Steve didn’t work outside the home and spent all his time tending to the family’s needs- he did have the bar. 
 

I think people were easier on Steve because while Steve made a mistake and was wrong for cheating- which he always admitted to; it was a one time thing, he confessed immediately (didn’t have to wait to get caught), didn’t give Miranda an STI or impregnate someone else, so they thought he may have deserved a second chance. Especially since he and Miranda hadn’t had sex in a long ass time- it was clear that Miranda wasn’t prioritizing their relationship or acknowledging Steve’s need for partnered sex (instead being ill or something and that’s why they weren’t having sex).

 

I certainly understand why sexual fidelity is important to people and I would never suggest someone be forced to be with someone they don’t trust, but I think our culture as a whole gives a lot of LIP SERVICE to monogamy, when most people aren’t 100% monogamous (men and women). Most have a primary emotional partner but may have a sexual encounter with someone else during a long term relationship. Personally sexual fidelity isn’t the be all and end all for me. Like Steve said in their therapy session “what about all those other vows”. The both went to therapy and worked on things which shows they wanted to be together. 
 

The entire Steve/Miranda thing seemed pretty realistic to me. 

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I was cheated on by a boyfriend not a husband and let me tell  you it hurt. A lot.  I was in my early 20s and I probably would have forgiven him but he broke up with me.  So clearly he cheated because he wasn't happy and wanted out of the relationship.

The way the movie portrayed it was Steve cheated because he wanted laid. That is my opinion. It was a one night stand. He immediately confessed. That is not a man who wants out of the relationship. I do not blame Miranda at all for not wanting to forgive him. Yes six months is a long time to go without sex in a marriage but there was a lot going on and I'm not going to fault Miranda for not putting out for husband.

There is an old belief that says men cheat for the sex they aren't getting at home and women cheat for the attention they aren't getting at home.

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29 minutes ago, blondiec0332 said:

I was cheated on by a boyfriend not a husband and let me tell  you it hurt. A lot.  I was in my early 20s and I probably would have forgiven him but he broke up with me.  So clearly he cheated because he wasn't happy and wanted out of the relationship.

The way the movie portrayed it was Steve cheated because he wanted laid. That is my opinion. It was a one night stand. He immediately confessed. That is not a man who wants out of the relationship. I do not blame Miranda at all for not wanting to forgive him. Yes six months is a long time to go without sex in a marriage but there was a lot going on and I'm not going to fault Miranda for not putting out for husband.

There is an old belief that says men cheat for the sex they aren't getting at home and women cheat for the attention they aren't getting at home.

I agree if Miranda didn’t want to forgive him that was certainly her right. I am not saying it was Miranda’s fault (and neither did Steve, he was a grown ass man), but it was a problem in their relationship. 
 

(Bolding mine), I would expand on that, in that there’s a notion that men cheat for sexual variety (sex with their wife/partner may be frequent and fine and wonderful- but they don’t want to be monogamous), while women cheat because their emotional needs aren’t being met- or the man is absent, as in physically separated from them for a long time; while they are committed to the man they want temporary companionship and their sexual needs met. 
 

There are 7 billion people on this planet, and humans are different, and studies have noticed when women has financial options and medial contraceptives they started to cheat at the same rates men did......which tells me humans are more alike than they are different. 

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1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

There are 7 billion people on this planet, and humans are different, and studies have noticed when women has financial options and medial contraceptives they started to cheat at the same rates men did......which tells me humans are more alike than they are different. 

I think this was a contributing factor to Miranda not readily forgiving Steve. She didn't need to be married to him.  Too many times women (and men) stay in marriages that aren't working because they aren't financially able to support themselves outside the marriage.

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1 minute ago, blondiec0332 said:

I think this was a contributing factor to Miranda not readily forgiving Steve. She didn't need to be married to him.  Too many times women (and men) stay in marriages that aren't working because they aren't financially able to support themselves outside the marriage.

Yup! Marriage is a financial and social arrangement. It’s not just about emotional needs and partnered sex in our society- I think ppl forget that. 

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1 hour ago, blondiec0332 said:

I think this was a contributing factor to Miranda not readily forgiving Steve. She didn't need to be married to him.  Too many times women (and men) stay in marriages that aren't working because they aren't financially able to support themselves outside the marriage.

I think the problem is that in marriages where the woman has the financial upper hand, she was still expected (at least when the show was on the air), never to complain about shouldering the greater financial burden, provide the loving support, sex, child/elder care and house duties expected of full time house wives.

Many of the proponents of women working had to battle against people who claimed that this would destroy the family unit. This meant there was enormous pressure for women to do all their previous duties and bear the stress associated with a full time job, particularly something as demanding as a lawyer. You could not even say "but I am paying for our lifestyle" like men would do, because that would make you an emasculating shrew.

It would be one thing if Steve was a great guy who brought so much to the table. When Steve was introduced, he was really interesting. By the end of the show he was a doofus with his "Hi, Miwanda" voice.

However, I also felt like the crew thought Steve was the best that Miranda could do because she was so "hard" and of course not traditionally pretty or hot (in their opinion).

Miranda never seemed to get to go out with really handsome and high powered men, like the rest of them. In fact, I remember a guy dating her because "she was so obviously not a model" and his friends were sick of him bringing his vapid model girlfriends to their parties. Of course, the one successful guy she does date....she breaks up with to go to back to Steve.

Charlotte was a privileged princess and Carrie was little girl flitting from one fantasy to the next. I like them both and they were successful in their own right but they had no clue about the pressures that Miranda was under....just that poor Steve went without sex for a long time.

No wonder Miranda was burned out.

I wanted to add that Miranda should have talked to Steve but having been in her situation, there could have been much done before the actual cheating by both her and Steve

 

Edited by qtpye
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7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

However, I also felt like the crew thought Steve was the best that Miranda could do because she was so "hard" and of course not traditionally pretty or hot (in their opinion).

 

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Of course, the one successful guy she does date....she breaks up with to go to back to Steve.

I agree with this.  Miranda was a catch. Any man would have been lucky to have her. Take Brady out of the equation and Miranda would not have ended up with Steve. Even with Brady in the equation I don't think Miranda should have ended up with Steve. When  you are with someone they tend to either bring you up or bring you down. I think Steve brought Miranda down.  I never really bought her giving up her high powered career (she had made partner) and moving to Brooklyn. I could see Charlotte doing that. By the time she married Harry she no longer had a career but I could totally buy her wanting to move to Brooklyn (although not to the house Miranda bought) and raising her kids there.

I give the writers some leeway with how they wrote Carrie because that character was sometimes all over the place. But I don't think the  writers wrote Miranda as well as they could and should have.  And I think pairing her with Steve was part of that.  I thought she could have done a lot better. And then when she did do a lot better they had her magically decide she loved Steve.  The flaws that drove her crazy enough to break up with him were still there when she got back together with him. I liked her as a single mother. Most of the time when you saw a single mother on TV she is either struggling to pay the bills and she doesn't have time for men (Grace under Fire) or she is so career oriented she doesn't have time for men (Murphy Brown). But Miranda still wanted to date and have sex.  I had a hard time swallowing she went from being freaked out about Robert telling he loved her (albeit on a cookie) because she wasn't ready for that to her realizing she loved Steve.

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26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Miranda never seemed to get to go out with really handsome and high powered men, like the rest of them.

Another good one was the really sexy cop that Miranda couldn't believe would date her, so she got super drunk because she felt so much pressure and he left because he was worried she had a drinking problem.

But it's true, the writers gave Miranda a lot of lonely nights , or some pretty awful guys to date.  I think the writers wanted to present her as having to be so grateful to have Steve, but I didn't necessarily agree with that portrayal.  

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Another good one was the really sexy cop that Miranda couldn't believe would date her, so she got super drunk because she felt so much pressure and he left because he was worried she had a drinking problem.

But it's true, the writers gave Miranda a lot of lonely nights , or some pretty awful guys to date.  I think the writers wanted to present her as having to be so grateful to have Steve, but I didn't necessarily agree with that portrayal.  

That's the thing...why the heck wouldn't a sexy guy want to date Miranda? I am not addressing this question to you but to the show's writers.

I think they even made a comment about how the other women in the restaurant could not believe that a guy like him was with a woman like HER.

Even though they did not mention it much, Carrie was not the most conventionally attractive woman, either. She was always dating great looking guys and it was never a big deal.  Also, Miranda was accomplished and not a shrieky little girl who spent all her savings on shoes.

Edited by qtpye
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4 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Even though they did not mention it much, Carrie was not the most conventionally attractive woman, either. She was always dating great looking guys and it was never a big deal.  Also, Miranda was accomplished and not a shrieky little girl who spent all her savings on shoes.

If I'm going to be completely shallow and I'm going to be I have to say looks wise I thought Big and Aidan were both more attractive than someone with Carrie's looks would get.  Carrie (and by extension SJP) wasn't unattractive.  She looked nice when her hair and make up was done but in all honesty I don't think most people would have even turned their head to look at  her if not for most of those clothes she wore.

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6 minutes ago, blondiec0332 said:

If I'm going to be completely shallow and I'm going to be I have to say looks wise I thought Big and Aidan were both more attractive than someone with Carrie's looks would get.  Carrie (and by extension SJP) wasn't unattractive.  She looked nice when her hair and make up was done but in all honesty I don't think most people would have even turned their head to look at  her if not for most of those clothes she wore.

There was an episode where they talked about a dimly lit Chinese Restaurant that people took dates they were afraid to be seen in public with (what a horrible premise).

Carrie met an ex-boyfriend who was taking a girl there because he did not think she was pretty enough to be seen around his friends and she worked in a cheese shop (which I guess is bad).

I thought that the girl he was so embarrassed to be with was better looking than Carrie.

She confronts Big to ask if he is doing the same thing to her and of course Big says he takes her there because the food is great and they can have some privacy.

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29 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Even though they did not mention it much, Carrie was not the most conventionally attractive woman, either. She was always dating great looking guys and it was never a big deal.  Also, Miranda was accomplished and not a shrieky little girl who spent all her savings on shoes.

yes yes yes yes...... The most attractive person in every room always wanted to date Carrie and Miranda was so often ignored.  (And like I said before, even Sam and Charlotte were ignored in favour of Carrie).  PAH!

I think they finally switched this around with the sexy detective that was helping Carrie after being robbed, and he finally went for Miranda and ignored Carrie.  

I loved when the writers actually acknowledged how charismatic Samantha was or how adorable Charlotte was - like how that guy who ran the dog show was in love with Charlotte.  LOL.  

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13 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I thought that the girl he was so embarrassed to be with was better looking than Carrie.

I just looked her up on IMDB. That role was her only screen credit. I wonder if she was a stage actress or something.  

3 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

yes yes yes yes...... The most attractive person in every room always wanted to date Carrie and Miranda was so often ignored.  (And like I said before, even Sam and Charlotte were ignored in favour of Carrie).  PAH!

I understand SJP was supposed to be the star of the show and the character of Carrie was supposed to be the person the show focused on but it simply was not believable that every hot guy they met was interested in Carrie.  In certain contexts it made sense. Jon Bon Jovi and her met in therapy. David Duchovony was an old boyfriend.   But the show went out of it's way to make it seem like Carrie was someone who turned heads. Which IMO she was not.  Now on the other hand Samantha was gorgeous and she had confidence. When she walked in a room you felt her presence.  

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2 hours ago, blondiec0332 said:

I never really bought her giving up her high powered career (she had made partner) and moving to Brooklyn.

Did she give up her career?  I remember her asking to cut down on her hours, but I didn't think she quit her job until the second movie because she had the boss that was making her miserable.  

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6 minutes ago, txhorns79 said:

Did she give up her career?  I remember her asking to cut down on her hours, but I didn't think she quit her job until the second movie because she had the boss that was making her miserable.  

She didn't quit but she did cut back. And when you are a partner you are expected to bring in work.

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She didn't quit but she did cut back. And when you are a partner you are expected to bring in work.

I don't think cutting back is the same as giving up her career.  And with Miranda, didn't she say she was going to cut back to 50 hours a week or something similar?  As far as we know, she remained a partner.  With this show, the only person I saw as giving up her career was Charlotte.

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I always thought the prettiest were Samantha and Charlotte. Guys seem to like them best too. But Miranda would have been up there with them if they styled Cynthia better. I do think Carrie was cute and had the best figure though. 

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3 hours ago, blondiec0332 said:

I give the writers some leeway with how they wrote Carrie because that character was sometimes all over the place. But I don't think the  writers wrote Miranda as well as they could and should have.  And I think pairing her with Steve was part of that.  I thought she could have done a lot better. And then when she did do a lot better they had her magically decide she loved Steve.  The flaws that drove her crazy enough to break up with him were still there when she got back together with him. I liked her as a single mother. Most of the time when you saw a single mother on TV she is either struggling to pay the bills and she doesn't have time for men (Grace under Fire) or she is so career oriented she doesn't have time for men (Murphy Brown). But Miranda still wanted to date and have sex.  I had a hard time swallowing she went from being freaked out about Robert telling he loved her (albeit on a cookie) because she wasn't ready for that to her realizing she loved Steve.

I too LOVED how the first wrote Miranda as a single mother- she wasn't struggling to pay the bills, nor was she going to commit to a celibate lifestyle "for the good of her child". She was still her self and a mother too. It was good.

 

1 hour ago, blondiec0332 said:

I understand SJP was supposed to be the star of the show and the character of Carrie was supposed to be the person the show focused on but it simply was not believable that every hot guy they met was interested in Carrie.  In certain contexts it made sense. Jon Bon Jovi and her met in therapy. David Duchovony was an old boyfriend.   But the show went out of it's way to make it seem like Carrie was someone who turned heads. Which IMO she was not.  Now on the other hand Samantha was gorgeous and she had confidence. When she walked in a room you felt her presence.  

YES. SJP has a lot of sex appeal, but conventionally attractive she was not. Charlotte was the "prettiest", Samantha was the "sexiest" and Miranda was the most "interesting" IMO. However being conventionally attractive isn't all thats needed to turn heads, its like what they said about Anne Boleyn, she wasn't the prettiest woman at court but she was the sexiest, even though there were women who fit the Tudor standard of beauty more than she did. Also Carrie had that "demure romantic thing" more than Samantha had- which would be attractive for a certain type of man. 

 

All the ladies wouldn't have had problem getting dates or male attention but that doesn't mean they were more likely to have successful relationships. 

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1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

I too LOVED how the first wrote Miranda as a single mother- she wasn't struggling to pay the bills, nor was she going to commit to a celibate lifestyle "for the good of her child". She was still her self and a mother too. It was good.

 

YES. SJP has a lot of sex appeal, but conventionally attractive she was not. Charlotte was the "prettiest", Samantha was the "sexiest" and Miranda was the most "interesting" IMO. However being conventionally attractive isn't all thats needed to turn heads, its like what they said about Anne Boleyn, she wasn't the prettiest woman at court but she was the sexiest, even though there were women who fit the Tudor standard of beauty more than she did. Also Carrie had that "demure romantic thing" more than Samantha had- which would be attractive for a certain type of man. 

 

All the ladies wouldn't have had problem getting dates or male attention but that doesn't mean they were more likely to have successful relationships. 

I agree. However, Carrie's personality was such a nightmare in the later seasons, where Miranda evolved and grew to be pretty cool Also, Carrie seemed very limited in her interests and intellectual pursuits, where you could probably have an intelligent conversation with Miranda.

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26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I agree. However, Carrie's personality was such a nightmare in the later seasons, where Miranda evolved and grew to be pretty cool Also, Carrie seemed very limited in her interests and intellectual pursuits, where you could probably have an intelligent conversation with Miranda.

Yes. Miranda had a far better personality. 

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26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Also, Carrie seemed very limited in her interests and intellectual pursuits, where you could probably have an intelligent conversation with Miranda.

Carrie dated a politician and didn't want to talk about politics.  And she seemed to be clueless about what Big did for a living.

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Why would Steve be working fewer hours than Miranda? Owning a bar is a huge time suck. He probably put in as much time at work as she did. 
 

She did treat him shitty, IMO. She acted immature and selfish on their honeymoon, and when they first met she treated him like a servant. I really think they could have laid off the bitchy control freak and let her relax into the relationship. 
 

Now Aidan, such a cardboard cutout character. I hated his stupid hair before he cut it, and when he got back with Carrie and punished her I just hated him. he just didn’t belong at all. Don’t get me started on Berger. Carrie should have married Stanford and lived the life she really wanted. 

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1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

This is brilliant. 

It would have been perfect. Carrie would have had financial security, a nice home, and could have continued her life out on the town. Seen guys she liked, Stanford could see guys he liked, and they could have each other for company. Stanford would never let her down like big did, and he was into the things she was into, unlike big lump Aidan. I really liked Stanford. 

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On 8/30/2020 at 12:58 AM, izabella said:

It's not just that Miranda was very busy, although time is a factor.  But think about what she's busy with - work responsibility, child responsibility, and caring for Steve's mom with dementia.  I can see how Miranda would not be feeling sexy and flirty with all that in her life and on her mind.  Any one of those responsibilities could stress or exhaust a person to the point of not being interested in sex, but all three very demanding roles at the same time are mentally, emotionally and physically A LOT.  No one is superwoman like that.  It would have been great if they had tackled THAT story line for Miranda and Steve - many women find themselves squeezed between the burdens of raising children and taking care of aging parents.

When I (and I'm an only child) was dealing with my mother in a nursing home with dementia, my dad at a loss at living without her, taking care of all their bills, Medicaid issues and then my dad's brain cancer and decline, the last thing I wanted to do was get "sexy". Robert Plant could have walked in the door and I wouldn't have given him a second look. Add to that, I was sick with an intestinal issue and needed surgery..... no thanks! The stress, the exhaustion, the depression, it all adds up. 

On 8/31/2020 at 2:56 PM, blondiec0332 said:

Carrie dated a politician and didn't want to talk about politics.  And she seemed to be clueless about what Big did for a living.

she did go out on the campaign trail with him. And we all knew what he wanted to talk about (or do). 

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On 8/26/2020 at 11:26 PM, Ms Blue Jay said:

Well Miranda kind of did by saying Carrie is making a huge mistake moving to Paris, and you're 100% right Carrie did get angry and said stay out of it.  But in both of those situations I am on the person's side who says "Stay out of it", but I've argued that 100 times here and I don't want to do it again 😄

Carrie and Charlotte were way too invested in Steve to the point of creepiness.  I understand if he was treating Miranda well, (like Smith was to Sam) BUT HE WASN'T.

I'll get tomatoes tossed at me and my woman card taken away. But Steve cheating on Miranda did not happen in a vacuum. No, it was NOT ALL her fault, but treating Steve like he was some obligation and saying, "Let's get this over with!" with regard to sex/intimacy does not a good marriage make. And from the context, it had been happening for some time. She could make time for Samantha, Carrie, and Charlotte, but not her marriage? Her priorities were out of whack, too.

I WILL say that Steve should have pushed the issue. And not cheated, naturally.

But while I don't CONDONE what he did, I do understand it, to a point. Marriage requires work and sacrifice from both partners.

At least they took the time to evaluate and decided the marriage was worth saving.

As for Carrie/Big? Bleah. The bird in a veil thing during the botched wedding was UGLY. And I thought Big dodged a bullet, to be honest. Carrie is higher than HIGH maintenance.

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On 9/12/2020 at 10:44 PM, Ms Blue Jay said:

Why would you get tomatoes tossed at you?  It's clear that many people take Steve's side including the movie's writers and its characters, and that your opinion is very popular.

I don't know that is taking Steve's side, so much as pointing out that the marriage appeared troubled prior to Steve's cheating. 

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