Lorelai Gilmore: The 10(+) Things I Hate About You

[Frelling Tralk]

On 28/01/2018 at 5:59 PM, stan4 said:

I don't know about it really being of "that" world.

In MY world, you don't go to someone's home, ESPECIALLY THE FIRST TIME, without a host/hostess gift.  And I ain't no Huntzberger.

I was taught similarly, and we’re far from Huntsberger wealth and status lol, but I’ve always understand that it’s polite to bring a small gift (usually a bottle of wine is the simplest option) as a thank you if you are invited to dinner at someone else’s house, it’s considered to be the least you can do when they are going to all the trouble of buying and cooking food for you. I didn’t think that’s something that’s just associated with upper society is it?

[Kohola3]

21 minutes ago, Frelling Tralk said:

I didn’t think that’s something that’s just associated with upper society is it?

Never a member of upper society but always a cardinal rule in my life.

[Guest]

A small moment of Lorelai's that I hate-  in Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doing the Twist, I find it so obnoxious that she lies about Rory getting sick so Rory can have the front seat on the ride to Florida.  She's so selfish at different times, and it's really annoying.

[nclpllm]

Lorelai quickly came up with "white lies" all the time. No one really stopped to question if they could trust her, or why she was lying to them. Except that one time she didn't tell Luke about staying over at Chris's. And that was weird. Since when did pancakes become hangover food? She had pancakes with a side of pancakes all the time. 

[slf]

Just rewatched the episode where Rory and Jess get into a minor accident and Lorelai honestly annoys the hell out of me. She was validly upset that her daughter had been in a crash but Lorelai has this tendency to blow things out of proportion and then make everything about how she feels. Like when she storms into Luke's apartment yelling for Jess. First she pushes past Luke into the diner all but ignoring Luke as he asks her what's going on. She says nothing about the accident or the status of either child and just storms upstairs with Luke scrambling up behind her. Then she just bursts into his apartment still ignoring him. She makes a pass around his apartment before finally telling him that there was an accident and then ignores him to storm downstairs. Does Luke love Rory? Yes. Does Luke love Jess and is responsible for his well being? Yes. Does Luke love Lorelai and look out for her? Yes. Does Lorelai consider any of this? Nope. Lorelai was angry and that came before anything. Once downstairs, with Luke still panicking behind her, she goes to the back before circling around to the front and only then does she actually start giving him information about Rory and then finally about Jess. "That little punk nephew of yours almost killed my kid tonight." Jesus. Then she attacks Luke, blaming him for everything. Luke should've apparently not taken in his own flesh and blood because months later said kid got into an accident while driving with Rory? She literally says his "obligation" to her was more important than his obligations to his family.

Like fuck. Rory fractured her wrist; it's not great and no parent wants to get a call from their kid in the hospital. But being a parent doesn't entitle you to blow up, storm around yelling at other people, and just generally acting like an ass. But Lorelai always indulged her emotions, always. I'm glad Luke laid into her. I mean, ffs. That was Rory's second car accident in two seasons! Luke: accidents happen, Lorelai: not with my kid in the car they don't- uh, ya sure about that Lorelai???

[Guest]

That was my least favorite Lorelei episode, I’m pretty sure. Especially the way she acted like Jess had done something terrible. Teenagers have worse driving skills due to lack of experience. He wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t doing donuts- he tried to avoid killing an animal and hit a bench!

[slf]

1 hour ago, deaja said:

Especially the way she acted like Jess had done something terrible. Teenagers have worse driving skills due to lack of experience. He wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t doing donuts- he tried to avoid killing an animal and hit a bench!

That kind of gets to the heart of something that always bugged me about her: Lorelai did equally bad or "worse" things than Jess (and Rory) and at a younger age. Yet well into adulthood she holds a grudge against her parents for having always been so exasperated with her while at the same time treating Jess as though he were the devil incarnate. It's like the flip side to how she thinks that Mrs. Kim is such a great mom doing such a great job with Lane yet Mrs. Kim is far stricter than Emily ever was. That woman had so many issues. 

[Katy M]

8 hours ago, deaja said:

That was my least favorite Lorelei episode, I’m pretty sure. Especially the way she acted like Jess had done something terrible. Teenagers have worse driving skills due to lack of experience. He wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t doing donuts- he tried to avoid killing an animal and hit a bench!

Not that Lorelei was there and would know this, but it wasn't like Jess was practicing perfect safety procedures for driving.  He was eating an ice cream cone and before the accident, had Rory take the wheel for a few seconds, which she was clearly uncomfortable with. However, had I been Lorelei I would have been more upset with Rory, because the rule I always grew up with was nobody else drives your car. 

But, yeah, in the end, she definitely overreacted. 

[Kohola3]

13 minutes ago, Katy M said:

But, yeah, in the end, she definitely overreacted. 

She was the kind of mother I absolutely hated to see when I worked the ER.  Hysteria for no reason (after all, Rory had called her so obviously her condition was not critical) and never apologized for the behavior after the screaming, demanding fit she threw.  But then like mother, like daughter since Emily was equally insufferable.  

I was once told "you get paid to take this abuse".

Edited February 19, 2018 by Kohola3
key word

[Katy M]

11 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

She was the kind of mother I absolutely hated to see when I worked the ER.  Hysteria for no reason (after all, Rory had called her so obviously her condition was not critical) and never apologized for the behavior after the screaming, demanding fit she threw.  But then like mother, like daughter since Emily was equally insufferable.  

I was once told "you get paid to take this abuse".

Yes, her behavior would have been more understandable had Rory been seriously injured. She broke her arm or whatever. And, who was going to pay for all of these extra tests that she insisted on having just because?  I would imagine not the insurance company. 

[Kohola3]

14 minutes ago, Katy M said:

And, who was going to pay for all of these extra tests that she insisted on having just because?  I would imagine not the insurance company. 

Definitely not the insurance company. The do a thorough review of the visit and deny anything not appropriate.  Plus, why expose your teen-aged girl to all kinds of unnecessary radiation?  Moron.

[Taryn74]

40 minutes ago, Katy M said:

And, who was going to pay for all of these extra tests that she insisted on having just because?

Maybe she made Luke pay for them? 

/snerk

[FictionLover]

On 2/18/2018 at 1:44 PM, nclpllm said:

Lorelai quickly came up with "white lies" all the time. No one really stopped to question if they could trust her, or why she was lying to them. Except that one time she didn't tell Luke about staying over at Chris's. And that was weird. Since when did pancakes become hangover food? She had pancakes with a side of pancakes all the time. 

It was wrong not to tell him but she did stay at the mother’s house with his mom and daughter there. The writers didn’t write that in the script when Lorelai told Luke to add all the drama.

[steff13]

One of Lorelai's worst moments, for me, was in Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving, when she learns that Rory applied to colleges other than Harvard.  The scene she makes at the dinner table makes me cringe.  And the only reason Rory was dead set on Harvard was because Lorelai pounded it into her head from birth, apparently.  Something Lorelai seems to conveniently forget whenever she's accusing her parents of being controlling and/or manipulative.  

Edited February 28, 2018 by steff13

[slf]

22 hours ago, steff13 said:

One of Lorelai's worst moments, for me, was in Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving, when she learns that Rory applied to colleges other than Harvard.  The scene she makes at the dinner table makes me cringe.  And the only reason Rory was dead set on Harvard was because Lorelai pounded it into her head from birth, apparently.  Something Lorelai send to conveniently forget whenever she's accusing her parents of being controlling and/or manipulative.  

Not to mention the sheer stupidity of expecting your child to apply to only one college. I'm sure there are people who've done that and it worked out well for them but for most people that would end badly. You need backups.

[Katy M]

8 hours ago, slf said:

Not to mention the sheer stupidity of expecting your child to apply to only one college. I'm sure there are people who've done that and it worked out well for them but for most people that would end badly. You need backups.

In this case definitely.  because she's applying to competitive schools.  If you're applying to "lesser" schools, you probably could just do one and get away with it.

[Guest]

Clearly, Lorelai knew that no school would dare turn down her princess! 

[elang4]

I hated the fact that she was like “we applied elsewhere?” Grrr, there’s no ‘we’ about it, Lorelai!! It’s Rory’s choice! She’s the one who has to go there. And the fact that she was making a scene in front of Emily and Richard’s guest as well.

Edited February 23, 2018 by elang4

[Katy M]

15 minutes ago, elang4 said:

I hated the fact that she was like “we applied elsewhere?” Grrr, there’s no ‘we’ about it, Lorelai!! It’s Rory’s choice! She’s the one who has to go there. And the fact that she was making a scene in front of Emily and Richard’s guest as well.

I'm also surprised that she didn't know that Rory applied to half a dozen schools.  We've never seen Rory with a job really.  She helped out her mom at the inn sometimes, but nothing on a regular basis.  Where did she get all the money for the application fees if not from Lorelai?  Her grandparents?  They would have already lorded it over Lorelai that Rory dared to apply anywhere else but Harvard. 

[Taryn74]

3 hours ago, elang4 said:

And the fact that she was making a scene in front of Emily and Richard’s guest as well.

That's what bothered me the most.  If she had just shown her ass at FND, let's be honest it would have just been business as usual.  But to act like that in front of guests?  That she didn't even know?  She put them in a very uncomfortable position (Natalie even tried to apologize for "starting" something) and it was just completely uncalled for.

[elang4]

28 minutes ago, Taryn74 said:

That's what bothered me the most.  If she had just shown her ass at FND, let's be honest it would have just been business as usual.  But to act like that in front of guests?  That she didn't even know?  She put them in a very uncomfortable position (Natalie even tried to apologize for "starting" something) and it was just completely uncalled for.

I agree. Lorelai did apologise to them but it didn’t sound very sincere. Very uncomfortable and cringey to watch.

[stan4]

On 2/19/2018 at 10:14 AM, Kohola3 said:

She was the kind of mother I absolutely hated to see when I worked the ER.  Hysteria for no reason (after all, Rory had called her so obviously her condition was not critical) and never apologized for the behavior after the screaming, demanding fit she threw.  But then like mother, like daughter since Emily was equally insufferable.  

I was once told "you get paid to take this abuse".

 It bothers me when people who act like this on tv get their way, bc it makes real people think you're heroic or doing the right thing to storm into hospitals demanding tests.

 

No.  Just no.  

[TwirlyGirly]

On ‎2‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 11:54 AM, elang4 said:

I hated the fact that she was like “we applied elsewhere?” Grrr, there’s no ‘we’ about it, Lorelai!! It’s Rory’s choice! She’s the one who has to go there. And the fact that she was making a scene in front of Emily and Richard’s guest as well.

Do you remember the scene in the headmaster's office when Lorelai stormed in there after Rory was late to school and was not allowed to take her English Lit exam?          

LORELAI: "Do you have any idea what we have gone through this week? We have been up all night every night studying. We haven’t slept. We haven’t talked about anything else except this school and this test for seven days. We have stretched ourselves as thin as humanly possible without going completely postal. My God! We’re only one person!"

Lorelai seems to have a problem seeing Rory as a separate person from herself, which is why she got so upset at Rory actually enjoying her day at the club playing golf with Richard. Rory is supposed to be Lorelai's mini-me, with the same likes and dislikes, same dreams and goals. When she asserts any individuality, Lorelai can't handle it.

23 hours ago, Taryn74 said:

That's what bothered me the most.  If she had just shown her ass at FND, let's be honest it would have just been business as usual.  But to act like that in front of guests?  That she didn't even know?  She put them in a very uncomfortable position (Natalie even tried to apologize for "starting" something) and it was just completely uncalled for.

But that's classic Lorelai. There are multiple examples of Lorelai behaving inappropriately and making her own issues a priority over everyone else. The dinner in which Emily set her up with the actuary, and she snuck out of an upstairs window instead of just saying "It was nice to meet you, but I'm afraid I have to cut the evening short because I have an early day tomorrow."

Interrupting Sookie and Jackson's children's baptism because she had to know immediately why Rory didn't give Lorelai her new cell phone number.

Making a fool of herself at Lane and Zack's wedding by getting drunk and making a speech about how miserable her love life was (which was all her own doing in most cases).

Lorelai doesn't ever seem to be able to put the wants and needs of others ahead of her own. It's always about what Lorelai wants and needs in the moment - and to hell with how it affects those around her. Does Lorelai ever realize what she's done and make apologies? Sure. But adults learn how to think before they speak/act. What bothers me is Lorelai is seen as so speshul by just about everyone they let her get away with her behavior and forgive her over and over again (although that's probably realistic - in "real life," young, attractive women are often allowed to get away with a lot of things "average" people are not).

[nclpllm]

8 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Lorelai seems to have a problem seeing Rory as a separate person from herself, which is why she got so upset at Rory actually enjoying her day at the club playing golf with Richard. Rory is supposed to be Lorelai's mini-me, with the same likes and dislikes, same dreams and goals. When she asserts any individuality, Lorelai can't handle it.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Lorelai didn't seem to understand that a person's experiences informs their opinions, and that Rory's were different from hers. I've wished the show would get to a place where the mothers could accept their daughters for who they are, even though they've chosen to live different lives. But that is not at all what they were going for. In the end, Lorelai is the one who does life right, leaving 'that life.' It's why I have mixed feelings about Emily in the revival. 

I wasted so much time being frustrated that Rory's dropout arc was such a wasted opportunity. Knowing the big series denouement was Rory= Lorelai, I've reevaluated the whole thing. Was it only about Rory denouncing Richard/Emily and their life the whole time? Was it about validating Lorelai's life choices and worldview?  

 

On 2/21/2018 at 10:56 PM, steff13 said:

And the only reason Rory was dead set on Harvard was because Lorelai pounded it into her head from birth, apparently.  Something Lorelai send to conveniently forget whenever she's accusing her parents of being controlling and/or manipulative.  

 For all Lorelai's complaints of Emily, her emotional fits manipulated Rory, who didn't want to disappoint her mother. No wonder Rory wasn't in a hurry to tell her about applying to Yale. The drama is exhausting. 

[elang4]

I totally agree with all your points. Lorelai should have had a think about why Rory would hide things from her. Even with Logan, she knew Lorelai wouldn’t approve so avoided talking about him. And then Lorelai made it all about her whining about how Rory wouldn’t talk to her. Whenever Rory did her own thing without talking to Lorelai, Lorelai would freak out. I get what she went through to raise Rory and I respect how she stepped up and I think she was a good mom but she should have realised that as Rory grew up, things were bound to be different.

[Katy M]

38 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

LORELAI: "Do you have any idea what we have gone through this week? We have been up all night every night studying. We haven’t slept. We haven’t talked about anything else except this school and this test for seven days. We have stretched ourselves as thin as humanly possible without going completely postal. My God! We’re only one person!"

Changing the subject for a minute.  I hated that whole situation.  They were both (Lorelai and Rory) throwing temper tantrums over something that was 100% their fault.  And, although it is ultimately Rory's responsibility to be responsible for Rory, I'm going to put most of the blame on her being late on Lorelai.  Rory fell asleep first.  At that point, there were two reasonable things for Lorelai to do.  Wake Rory up so she could go to bed in her own room (where there's an alarm clock and she'd probably sleep better). Or 2, at the very least go up and sleep in her room, or bring her alarm clock downstairs.  

What was not reasonable was to assume that no rule would apply to Rory.  That she wouldn't have to accept the consequences of being late.  And that the cops would think it was fine that an unlicenced driver drove all the way to Hartford by herself.  Not that she encountered any cops, but I would call that darn lucky. The more I think of it, the more that is annoying me.  Lorelai got mad at Jess's irresponsible driving, yet she allowed her flustered, unlicensed (she wasn't 16 yet, so there's no convincing me she had a license) to drive 30 minutes, in somewhat heavy traffic (I would imagine).  A daughter who did not have the good sense to stay off her cell phone while doing so.

[elang4]

31 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Changing the subject for a minute.  I hated that whole situation.  They were both (Lorelai and Rory) throwing temper tantrums over something that was 100% their fault.  And, although it is ultimately Rory's responsibility to be responsible for Rory, I'm going to put most of the blame on her being late on Lorelai.  Rory fell asleep first.  At that point, there were two reasonable things for Lorelai to do.  Wake Rory up so she could go to bed in her own room (where there's an alarm clock and she'd probably sleep better). Or 2, at the very least go up and sleep in her room, or bring her alarm clock downstairs.  

What was not reasonable was to assume that no rule would apply to Rory.  That she wouldn't have to accept the consequences of being late.  And that the cops would think it was fine that an unlicenced driver drove all the way to Hartford by herself.  Not that she encountered any cops, but I would call that darn lucky. The more I think of it, the more that is annoying me.  Lorelai got mad at Jess's irresponsible driving, yet she allowed her flustered, unlicensed (she wasn't 16 yet, so there's no convincing me she had a license) to drive 30 minutes, in somewhat heavy traffic (I would imagine).  A daughter who did not have the good sense to stay off her cell phone while doing so.

Lorelai always thought rules shouldn’t apply to Rory though. She thought everyone should think she was perfect and if they didn’t, she’d get angry at them. On a side note, I always thought her emotionally blackmailing Luke about using his truck when Rory wanted her to come back to Yale was wrong. She always did that to Luke. She just expected him to drop everything for Rory and when he didn’t, she’d accuse him of not caring about her. She did that after the car crash with Jess and Rory as well.

[elang4]

And then after she accused Luke of not caring about Rory just because he wanted to make sure his own nephew was ok, she just expected him to forgive her. She still didn’t even think she was in the wrong but she expected him to forgive her just because she wrote him a letter to apologise.

[Taryn74]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Lorelai got mad at Jess's irresponsible driving, yet she allowed her flustered, unlicensed (she wasn't 16 yet, so there's no convincing me she had a license)

I don't know what Connecticut's driver's license laws are like, but here in Arkansas you can get a "hardship license" as young as 14.  Basically if you live in a one-parent household, or both parents work outside the home, etc and you need to be able to drive yourself places, you can get a driver's license.  You can only have like one other non-adult in the car with you I think, but there is a way to be able to legally drive.

Also, it was implied that Rory drove her and Lorelai home after the FND where Richard agreed to take Rory golfing in Kill Me Now.

 

I agree that letting her drive to Hartford while flustered and on very little sleep was a terrible idea though.

[Katy M]

16 minutes ago, Taryn74 said:

Also, it was implied that Rory drove her and Lorelai home after the FND where Richard agreed to take Rory golfing in Kill Me Now.

She wouldn't have needed a license for that, a permit, which she could have before 16 would have worked.

 

17 minutes ago, Taryn74 said:

I don't know what Connecticut's driver's license laws are like, but here in Arkansas you can get a "hardship license" as young as 14.  Basically if you live in a one-parent household, or both parents work outside the home, etc and you need to be able to drive yourself places, you can get a driver's license.  You can only have like one other non-adult in the car with you I think, but there is a way to be able to legally drive.

I don't think Rory would have qualified for that.  She didn't usually have a need to drive herself places.  This situation was a one-off that they wouldn't have anticipated.

[Taryn74]

Fair enough.  I was just pointing out it wasn't completely beyond the realm of possibility.

[Katy M]

20 minutes ago, Taryn74 said:

Fair enough.  I was just pointing out it wasn't completely beyond the realm of possibility.

This is getting off on a tangent, and I apologize, but I think the show just wasn't thinking about it.  It's a pet peeve of mine.  Most teens are played by older actresses.  I think Alexis was 18 or 19 at the time.  The writers and she forget that her character is younger and can't drive.

[chessiegal]

15 minutes ago, Katy M said:

This is getting off on a tangent, and I apologize, but I think the show just wasn't thinking about it.  It's a pet peeve of mine.  Most teens are played by older actresses.  I think Alexis was 18 or 19 at the time.  The writers and she forget that her character is younger and can't drive.

I so agree with this. You could write volumes on the continuity/doesn't make sense aspects of this show. Some seemed more glaring in the Revival because, apparently, the Pallidinos refused to acknowledge Season 7 happened. They write whatever the plot du jour is.

[stan4]

Dumb anvil question.

They are made of steel/iron = $ scrap; melt and reuse for other things.

[slf]

I've seen it suggested that Lorelai would make a better foreign correspondent, or even just a journalist, than Rory and: no. I get that she has a more outgoing personality but Lorelai is just too self-centered and while she is nosy it's not in a way that would be helpful in that line of work. Even in very serious situations she always has to either go off and make everything about her or do (as Dean described them) on of her bits. Didn't Lorelai give several print interviews that were total disasters? I can't imagine putting her on the air, potentially live, and expecting to get anything thoughtful out of her.

Rory may be more reserved but I think she's observant and intelligent enough, not to mention capable on focusing on someone other than herself for more than ten minutes at a time, that she would do well as a journalist.

[Viqutorious]

On 2/24/2018 at 2:15 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

Lorelai seems to have a problem seeing Rory as a separate person from herself, which is why she got so upset at Rory actually enjoying her day at the club playing golf with Richard. Rory is supposed to be Lorelai's mini-me, with the same likes and dislikes, same dreams and goals. When she asserts any individuality, Lorelai can't handle it

Lorelai did the “we” thing a lot. The scene that sticks out to me is when they had lunch at the ultra waspy Harvard alumnus house. The host asked Rory a direct question and Lorelai answered for her using “we”. My first thought was, he’s not going to give her a recommendation because her Mom is a crazy helicopter Mom.

[steff13]

So in my current re-watch I'm at the episodes where Rory drops out of Yale.  Rory showed up at Luke's and he told her about the engagement.  Lorelai then sees Rory doing her community service and pulls over for a confrontation.  Like you do.  As she's leaving, Rory says, "you hurt me," regarding not telling her about the engagement.  Lorelai says, "back at you." 

Now, how, exactly, did Rory hurt Lorelai?  I mean, I get she didn't want Rory to drop out, but that's not really hurtful to her.  Yes, Rory went to live with the Gilmores, but Lorelai had essentially decided the Rory wasn't going to live with her in Star's Hollow.  I don't think Lorelai's parenting was wrong here; Rory was making a bad decision, and there had to be consequences.  But I don't see that Rory's actions hurt Lorelai, really, at least not in the way that not telling her about the engagement hurt Rory.  It just bugged me, Lorelai again making everything all about her.

[FictionLover]

3 hours ago, steff13 said:

So in my current re-watch I'm at the episodes where Rory drops out of Yale.  Rory showed up at Luke's and he told her about the engagement.  Lorelai then sees Rory doing her community service and pulls over for a confrontation.  Like you do.  As she's leaving, Rory says, "you hurt me," regarding not telling her about the engagement.  Lorelai says, "back at you." 

Now, how, exactly, did Rory hurt Lorelai?  I mean, I get she didn't want Rory to drop out, but that's not really hurtful to her.  Yes, Rory went to live with the Gilmores, but Lorelai had essentially decided the Rory wasn't going to live with her in Star's Hollow.  I don't think Lorelai's parenting was wrong here; Rory was making a bad decision, and there had to be consequences.  But I don't see that Rory's actions hurt Lorelai, really, at least not in the way that not telling her about the engagement hurt Rory.  It just bugged me, Lorelai again making everything all about her.

Rory manipulating her grandfather to get what she wanted and then moving in with them without a word would hurt me. I never thought it was about her bad decisions.

[Kohola3]

Quote

Now, how, exactly, did Rory hurt Lorelai?

I go back to the moment when Rory saw her mother watching her through the window of the pool house and just went back to her unpacking without a second glance.  That had to hurt someone who considered her daughter her best friend.

[Guest]

On 2/26/2018 at 9:26 PM, Kohola3 said:

I go back to the moment when Rory saw her mother watching her through the window of the pool house and just went back to her unpacking without a second glance.  That had to hurt someone who considered her daughter her best friend.

I never thought it was about the decision. I think it was about this and the whole lead-up of going to her grandparents to override Lorelai, moving out, letting her be blindsided by E&R, etc.

[steff13]

On ‎2‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 12:11 PM, Katy M said:

I'm also surprised that she didn't know that Rory applied to half a dozen schools.  We've never seen Rory with a job really.  She helped out her mom at the inn sometimes, but nothing on a regular basis.  Where did she get all the money for the application fees if not from Lorelai?  Her grandparents?  They would have already lorded it over Lorelai that Rory dared to apply anywhere else but Harvard. 

I was just going to come to post this!  When I applied to several good but not Ivy League schools when I was in HS, the applications were about $50 each.  A quick google shows that the current application fee for Harvard is $75.  You can apply to have it waived, but I'd imagine that would involve some sort of hardship paperwork that Lorelai would have to complete.

[slf]

Oh yikes, I forgot how Lorelai acted during Fran's funeral. I get that she was hopeful about the Dragonfly but waiting at least an hour or two to make inquiries wouldn't have decreased her chances of getting the property. She and Sookie really should've had the decency to wait.

[TwirlyGirly]

29 minutes ago, slf said:

Oh yikes, I forgot how Lorelai acted during Fran's funeral. I get that she was hopeful about the Dragonfly but waiting at least an hour or two to make inquiries wouldn't have decreased her chances of getting the property. She and Sookie really should've had the decency to wait.

Waiting until Jackson's, Davy's, and Martha's baptism was over to grill Rory about why she hadn't given Lorelai her new cell phone number wouldn't have decreased her chances of getting THAT information, either....

[stan4]

My biggest beefs with Lorelai is consistent with my biggest beefs with people in general.

I don't like people who don't think the rules apply to them.  And I don't like people who belittle/jeer at what is important to others just because it's not important to them.  Finally, I find hypocrites to be absolutely maddening.

 

She is all three in spades.

[slf]

Lorelai, in a lot of ways, just didn't grow up. She's still that 17 year old girl who thought her parents were The Worst. So much of Lorelai's life, not just having left home at 17 but even decisions she makes when she's almost 50 damn years old, are about thumbing her nose at her parents.

[stan4]

On 3/10/2018 at 9:23 PM, slf said:

Lorelai, in a lot of ways, just didn't grow up. She's still that 17 year old girl who thought her parents were The Worst. So much of Lorelai's life, not just having left home at 17 but even decisions she makes when she's almost 50 damn years old, are about thumbing her nose at her parents.

To be fair, her parents really are (by most standards) pretty horrible people.

But I don't think the ways they are horrible people are the same reasons she continuously rebels against them (and she freely admits she does purposely rebel:  remember how she told her mother that in That'll Do, Pig?).

[slf]

13 hours ago, stan4 said:

But I don't think the ways they are horrible people are the same reasons she continuously rebels against them (and she freely admits she does purposely rebel:  remember how she told her mother that in That'll Do, Pig?).

Agreed, which would normally be baffling but it makes sense for Lorelai.

Something that sticks out to me is Lorelai saying in AYITL that Richard walked in on her having sex with someone named Teddy when she was 15 (the same age she would've been when she became pregnant with Rory). She said he thought she was losing her virginity but that wasn't true, that ship had sailed "a long time ago." I'm going to assume that when Lorelai would sneak into her parents' liquor wasn't when she was pregnant or a new mother* which would mean she was doing that at 15 or younger. I also remember her once telling Rory that Emily came into her bedroom when she had a boy hidden in there and when trying to escape down a tree he fell and broke his leg. I'm going to assume this too happened before she became pregnant. So, minimum three boys with whom she'd had sex (Chris, Teddy, guy she first had sex with), at least one boy caught in her bedroom who ended up with a broken leg (not Chris or we'd have hear about it, probably not Teddy, maybe first-time guy or another boy altogether?), drinking, and pregnant all before her sixteenth birthday? A lot of teens are gonna do most of those things but Lorelai really undersells exactly how difficult she probably was as a teen. She acts like it was all her Backwards Repressive Parents who just didn't understand her because she was expected to wear formal outfits to formal events and Richard never bought her a doll (which is hilarious because she seemed to hate the stereotypically feminine things Emily bought for her).

*If Lorelai had done that while pregnant or after there's just no way that wouldn't have come up.

Edited March 14, 2018 by slf

[stan4]

Yeah.  I think that's why she has some credibility telling Jess she's been there and done that with the whole bad teenager thing.

 

But geez.   As a parent, I'd be at a loss to know what to do with a kid that wild.

[Taryn74]

39 minutes ago, stan4 said:

But geez.   As a parent, I'd be at a loss to know what to do with a kid that wild.

Agreed.  Which is why I believe Richard & Emily deserve some major props, which they never really get on this show (or from the majority of the fans).  Not only did they NOT send their wild, rebellious teenager away to "protect the family name" when she got pregnant, pressure her to have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption, it doesn't sound like they even were all that harsh with her even when she was at her wildest!  They may not have been the 'warm and fuzzy parents' Lorelai thought she deserved, but they weren't anywhere near as bad as many WASP-y parents would have been.  Just look at Paris' mom.  And they never washed their hands of her as an adult, either, even though they were soundly rebuffed by her for the better part of two decades.

[slf]

I get why Rory's thread name is Poor Little Rich Girl but I feel like it's a better fit for Lorelai. So many of Lorelai's issues regarding her entitlement, her need to be the center of attention, and her relationship with her parents come from her highly privileged background and I think a commonly made mistake is to assess Lorelai independently of that. I know why it's done- Lorelai was a maid, she prefers mainstream interests to the more high-brow things associated with the rich. But as we saw in the flashbacks Lorelai's personality and outlook were pretty well set in stone by the time she decided to leave home, and that personality was informed by a life spent in a huge house, eating amazing food, never wanting for clothes, healthcare, and proper education, surrounded by maids. Her parents bought her the kinds of clothes she liked to wear, a walkman, tapes or records of the bands she liked, and for all that it was repeatedly brought up (in s1 and AYItL) that Richard never got her a doll she had a mantel full of them in DEaR. Lorelai had no appreciation for how good she had it. Richard and Emily could be a pain but that's true of most parents. Even working class parents are going to make you wear formal dress for weddings or Christmas parties (we were so poor we were homeless at one point when I was a kid and I recall having to wear formal dresses for formal events ), are going to have a problem with you being pregnant at 15, are going to have ideas about your education and family life.

1 hour ago, Taryn74 said:

[...] it doesn't sound like they even were all that harsh with her even when she was at her wildest!

This. I've always found it very telling that when it comes to citing what her parents did wrong it's always either really vague or small stuff. "You never cared" (bullshit) or "you didn't get me a doll" (...but he bought you literally everything else so this always felt like a setup; I also feel like it's one thing to say "my parents rarely bought me clothes, I always had to make do with too-small stuff with holes", or whatever, and something else to say "my parents never got me an xbox").

You'd think Emily was Joan Crawford the way Lorelai goes on.

Always made me wonder what Lane thought of Lorelai's "I barely survived" melodrama regarding her childhood consider what poor Lane had to deal with. I can't imagine Lorelai being raised by Mrs. Kim. She'd have been shipped off to South Korea for sure.