Gods of Egypt (2016)

[SeanC]

 

Director Alex Proyas skillfully mixes thrilling action with a weighty exploration of themes of the relation between the divine and the mortal...okay, no, Gods of Egypt is a mostly dull and plodding affair.  At the same time, it's too unique to really arouse my ire; worse movies will make far more money in the coming year, I'm sure.  Vision went into this, even if it's closer to Ed Wood than Orson Welles.

 

Odd as it may seem, one of the more interesting aspects of watching it is observing just how oddly so many of the scenes are handled.  You can only truly appreciate the skill involved in directing and editing a good action scene (or any scene) when you've seen examples where everything is off.  Gods of Egypt is full of those.  The opening, for instance, is just bizarrely paced from first to last, as Gerard Butler's Set materializes suddenly in the middle of a huge crowd, just as rapidly marches an army in, surrounds the other gods (who stand around doing nothing), then sucker-stabs his brother Osiris, at which point everybody other than Horus (Nicolaj Coster-Waldau) immediately surrenders to his tyranny -- Horus being maimed by Set, but spared at the intercession of Hathor (Elodie Yung), even though for some reason the film cuts away at this point and we only have this related in dialogue some time later.  The opening is the film in microcosm, which is replete with rushed exposition, significant leaps in plot and character knowledge without it feeling like sufficient time has passed, abrupt scene transitions, and all-around poor pacing.

 

By far the most misjudged component in the film is Bek (Brenton Thwaites), a street thief who becomes mixed up in this intra-deity civil war.  I have never seen Thwaites in anything else, so I cannot speak to his overall ability, but this is the definition of a one-note performance, albeit a performance suited to the writing.  Bek is an insistent mix of chipper and snarky that feels regularly inappropriate to situations the film wants to have dramatic weight, particularly when the character is supposed to be deeply motivated by tragedy.  'Tell, don't show' is in full effect with this character at the beginning, who is supposedly a peerless acrobatic thief, but whose introduction involves old-fashioned shoplifting of a dress for his generic love object Zaya (Courtney Eaton) -- Aladdin's "One Jump Ahead" this is not.

 

Eaton's presence is ironic, in that her made her cinematic debut the previous year in Mad Max: Fury Road, whose expert mix of practical stunts and CGI combined to create a world that felt fully lived-in.  Gods of Egypt is the sort of film people are talking about when they complain about weightless CGI action.

 

Were one to lend serious thought to the film's supposed moral arc for protagonist Horus, one might note that the film weirdly posits Horus making a choice between fighting for revenge and learning to be a good king, even though the immediate task required by both of those motivations is exactly the same:  kill the tyrannous and fratricidal Set.  Moreover, both Horus and (through tacit assent) Hathor are shown to need to atone for misleading Bek about the prospect of being able to revive Zaya after she dies, but the film never suggests that perhaps Bek should learn to think beyond the needs of his penis -- seeing as what Bek demands of Horus (revive Zaya) in exchange for the return of his magic power source is in fact not within Horus' power to grant at the time, and Bek seems otherwise completely unconcerned that Set's reign of terror is killing thousands and sending them to oblivion due to his reforms of the afterlife.  It's not just about you, Bek; or it shouldn't be, anyway.  The movie seems to think his behavior is fine.

 

Okay, having said all that, what does work?  The CGI for the action is weightless and uninvolving (not helped by the characters being cardboard cutouts, of course), but much of the design of the world is fascinating.  Proyas, akin to Tarsem in Immortals, commits to visualizing an older view of the world from the perspective of Gods.  Ra's chariot circling a flat Earth is a genuinely striking and cool effect.  And I found myself enjoying the interactions between Horus and Hathor -- Elodie Yung comes the closest of anyone in the cast to creating what feels like a real character.  I'm also willing to award points for the ending, where Horus, having the wounded Set at his mercy, and being reminded that Set spared him, declares he will not make the same mistake and executes Set.  That's decidedly not typical for this sort of blockbuster built around a cookie-cutter hero's journey.

 

Conversely, and in the spirit of ending the film with the ending, the movie seemed to be setting up a similarly atypical resolution where Bek and Zaya end up together in the afterlife, given that Zaya's state is established at some length as being unchangeable and Bek is (somehow) mortally wounded in the final battle and dies in the manner that characters in this movie die -- that is to say, moments after seeming totally fine.  Had that been the case, well, I couldn't say that I cared for either character, but that's at least some narrative ambition; instead, Ra (Geoffrey Rush), putting the deus in deus ex machina, gives Horus a genie wish to revive them to be together in life.  Eh, whatever.

[AimingforYoko]

SeanC, Let me express appreciation for seeing this and giving a comprehensive review so I have no reason to go to this. (Not that I had any plans to anyway. I'll wait a week to see Gerard Butler chew the scenery.)

[Rick Kitchen]

It surprised me as not being as bad as I thought it was going to be.  It looks like it must have cost a fortune to make.  It's very very pretty, too.

[bluvelvet]

Saw this today and expected a train wreck given the reviews. I actually enjoyed it and thought it was fun.

[Rick Kitchen]

Two things that occurred to me today.  Why did Chadwick Boseman try to do an accent when nobody else bothered?

 

And: It's interesting that Horus's mother's name was never used.  Her name was Isis.

[bmoore4026]

Rick Kitchen, on 01 Mar 2016 - 3:16 PM, said:

Two things that occurred to me today.  Why did Chadwick Boseman try to do an accent when nobody else bothered?

 

And: It's interesting that Horus's mother's name was never used.  Her name was Isis.

 

Well, it was either call her Hortense or not name her at all.  But, yeah, the Egyptian goddess is screwed forever, ain't she?

[nobodyyoucare]

Two things that occurred to me today.  Why did Chadwick Boseman try to do an accent when nobody else bothered?

 

And: It's interesting that Horus's mother's name was never used.  Her name was Isis.

We can blame the media for using that acronym rather then call them by another name that they had used. A name that means intolerant bigot or other unpleasant things in Arabic. I mean the shoe fits for that group. 

[thuganomics85]

Wasn't as bad as some of the reviews made it out to be, but I won't go as far as to say it was good.  Some of the effects were good, but other times, it was kind of cheesy and felt more like a video game.  Despite a two hour running time, it dragged in a few places, and it felt at times that there was more talking then action.  The action scenes were good, until they turned into the cheesy CGI gods with wings, which was kind of lame.  I want to see Jaime Lannister vs. Leonidas; not Winged Creature 1 vs. Winged Creature 2.

 

Acting wise, it had everything.  From Gerard Butler and especially Geoffrey Rush devouring the scenery (not sure how anything survived during the scene when they were together.)  To Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Chadwick Boseman almost winking at the camera at times, because they know how ridiculous this is.  And then Brenton Thwaites and Courtney Eaton being earnest and trying their hardest to make the cliched love story not be too cliched.  They failed, but I respect their attempts (and I didn't realize this is only Eaton's second film after Mad Max.)  Finally, there was Elodie Young, who was actually kind of awesome, and if nothing else, I'll give this film credit for really making me look forward to the second season of Daredevil, were hopefully Elodie will kill it as Elektra.

 

It did have some good eye-candy too, with all the outfits Elodie Young was in, and Courtney Eaton seeming to be just short of pouring out of her dress in every scene. Immortan Joe would approve of that look, I think.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

Glad this white washed mess flopped HARD.

[Bruinsfan]

Yeah, usually I'm either a bit sympathetic or plain don't care when a movie flops. But with this one, I want the executives who thought the whitewashing was a great idea to be getting pink slips and putting their mansions up for sale. Clearly living outside gated communities where they might occasionally be reminded of the existence of people of color would be good for them.

[SeanC]

and Courtney Eaton seeming to be just short of pouring out of her dress in every scene. Immortan Joe would approve of that look, I think.

Yeah, her cleavage was one of the most consistently entertaining aspects of the film.

[galax-arena]

Glad this white washed mess flopped HARD.

TBH, while I too am glad that this movie flopped, I think that had all else been equal aside from the whitewashing, the movie would still have done poorly. So in hindsight, the whitewashing might have been a blessing in disguise, because now there's no way for TPTB to look at this and go, "See? POC obviously can't carry movies." 

 

I feel the same way about The Last Airbender. 

[Dejana]

TBH, while I too am glad that this movie flopped, I think that had all else been equal aside from the whitewashing, the movie would still have done poorly. So in hindsight, the whitewashing might have been a blessing in disguise, because now there's no way for TPTB to look at this and go, "See? POC obviously can't carry movies." 

 

I feel the same way about The Last Airbender. 

 

This is a good point.

 

 

 

The hell did I just watch?

[Constantinople]

It's dumb fun if you don't sweat the details such as

• Why do the gods refer to humans as mortal if the gods too can die?
   
• If Set had not stabbed Osiris, why would Osiris get to retire from his job before his father Ra retired?
   
• Which came first, the video game, if there is one, or the movie?
   
• Why did Osiris look so much older than his brother Set?
   
• Just how many Australian actors did they have to cast to qualify for the tax break for filming in Australia?

Most unintentionally amusing moment:

When the Goddess of Protection is introduced right after the Goddess of Love at the start of the coronation ceremony.

[proserpina65]

Just saw this last week on HBO, and it was pretty much as bad as expected.  But so much half-naked Nicolaj Coster-Waldau - oh! the pretty!

[BitterApple]

15 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

Just saw this last week on HBO, and it was pretty much as bad as expected.  But so much half-naked Nicolaj Coster-Waldau - oh! the pretty!

Half-naked Kingslayer is always welcome, even though this movie is a shit show.

[Bruinsfan]

Based on the trailers i think they should have licensed the song from Crazy Ex Girlfriend for their official soundtrack.