S02.E13: Rule #59: Happily Ever After Is an Oxymoron

[ShellSeeker]

 

Abby and the girlfriends help Delia cope after the fallout of Gordon's news. Jake returns from Latvia with a secret to tell Abby. Jo has to finally face her feelings about Scott. Phoebe makes a surprise announcement. Barbara eyes a new potential love interest.

 

[anonymiss]

I used to be able to hate-watch this show but I don't know anymore. Abby is played by a god-awful overactress with very little charisma and they just had to ruin Delia. They had to make her as flighty and immature and irresponsible as Abby--guess they didn't like that she was overshadowing the supposed star.

 

I don't know why Janeane Garofalo left but she was the only other character I enjoyed besides S1 Delia. Too bad they replaced Janeane with this idiot who looks and acts like she's part of Lindsay Lohan's family and is the grown-up version of Rayanne from My So-Called Life.

 

I can't even with Becca (why is she still here?) and the forced entanglement with Prison Break's Kellerman who should just shave it all off instead of hanging onto whatever's left of his hair.

Edited February 24, 2016 by anonymiss

[Juneau Gal]

I find this show both abhorrent and repellent. I have checked in occasionally to see if it has improved; since it is still on the air I thought perhaps it did. But no. It's hard to base a show around a character (and actress) who has nothing to offer; totally charm free. I am the complete opposite of a prude, but this show's obsession with sex is, ironically, a total turn off for me; perhaps because the characters are all so unappealing.

I'm out!

[rallymantis]

Welllll...

Happy that Phoebe got a HAE, or at least, a placeholder HAE before Season 3 breaks & pisses all over it.  Because she was the only person who made consistently good, and good character-driven, choices this season.

I will side with Abby on the "If I was a man.." front, as re: Carl the backstabbing gigolo.  It was only one guy (not a Sheen-esque whore-around).  And she wasn't cheating on her husband.

Scott is on my good side, although he continues to exhibit questionable taste in women.

Jake, it was awfully generous of you to take Taye's baby, even though a blind man saw where this was heading.

Barbara! I like you better and am glad you scored some DJ ass.

I thought the AbbyJake bathroom floor convo was lovely, right up until the bombshell.

And now, the flip side:

Seriously: is this show written by dartboard?  As in: Let's throw up all our ideas, and whatever the darts land on, THAT'S what we'll stick into the script.  Because the lack of follow-through and character consistency has been wretched.  Here's a couple of threads I'm mad about: I defended the whole Carl episode, but then, oops, he turns out to be using her in a much worse way than originally thought.  And when did Jo get exemption from her addiction, and what that did to her daughter? suddenly Frumpkis is the sole villain? and why even have her abused by her one-night stand, if all that's going to come from it is: Here's a Nice moment with Jake?

Even though I like the actress who plays Barbara (and see above, etc.), I still feel whiplashed as re: how suddenly she's a group member.

Delia: Never thought the girls on Shahs of Sunset could be made to look rational by contrast.  Get back into the courtroom where you belong.  And I'm begging you to stop screwing father figures.

How did the Buffy Stand-in have the energy to clean that place after Jake left?  It was spotless.

 

*huffs off to fume some more*

[ivygirl]

Seriously: is this show written by dartboard?  As in: Let's throw up all our ideas, and whatever the darts land on, THAT'S what we'll stick into the script.  Because the lack of follow-through and character consistency has been wretched.  *

That's pretty much how I feel. It seems like the writing takes turns based on what the writers want, not out of what was most natural or best for the characters. So much was just... convenient. Barbara becomes a friend! The baby isn't really Jake's! Delia self-sabotages... and HECK YEAH she LOVES it! And on it goes.

 

I kept watching this season and I couldn't figure why; the best I could come up with was that my brain WANTED to make sense of this thing, and kept waiting and waiting for resolution that didn't come. I wouldn't even call it "hate watching," and I wouldn't call it interest. It was just... a need for resolution.

[tvsoothesthespirit]

My favorite line of the night was Phoebe's misfit toys line. Yes, you're a group of wealthy, thin, white women in LA.  Such outcasts.

[Pickles]

What was Jake's bombshell in the bathroom with Abby?

[Crazy8]

Out of curiosity I checked the finale out after pretty much ignoring it for most of the season and a few things occurred to me. The writing has gotten worse since I last watched, and the acting seems so... I don't know... maybe strained is the right word??? I said this a long time ago, but Edelstein is just not a lead. I feel bad for saying it because she seems nice enough, but it's like she sucks the air out of the room every time she enters a scene. I don't know if she's trying too hard or what, but it's weird and really stuck out to me even more after not watching for a while.

 

I've had a look at the ratings and it was only the 44th most popular cable original on TV last night. For its season finale. I just don't understand the justification for keeping it on the air if Bravo do renew it for a third season when it regularly loses over a million viewers from its RHOBH lead-in. I get why the channel want to get into scripted, but this show is not the hit they wanted it to be and frankly it insults the intelligence of its target audience. It's hard to even hate-watch. They need to do better.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Crazy8

[bichonblitz]

What was Jake's bombshell in the bathroom with Abby?

I watched it and I still don't know. 

I hate Abby. Worst mother ever. Can't stand what she puts her daughter through. Go eat a sandwich, you self absorbed overly dramatic twit. If there is a next season, I hope Jake (who I don't even like, either) takes both kids away from her. 

[rallymantis]

What was Jake's bombshell in the bathroom with Abby?

If you mean the bombshell I referenced, I meant, Abby's reveal about Carl the Gigolo.  Everything was fine, then she said, There's one more thing, then the next scene of the two of them was her chasing him down the stairs, explaining herself.

I think the blurb for the ep said something about Jake & a secret.  The only thing I could figure out is his confession that he had been in the same place emotionally as Abby, re: their 2nd beak-up.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I've had a look at the ratings and it was only the 44th most popular cable original on TV last night. For its season finale. I just don't understand the justification for keeping it on the air if Bravo do renew it for a third season when it regularly loses over a million viewers from its RHOBH lead-in. I get why the channel want to get into scripted, but this show is not the hit they wanted it to be and frankly it insults the intelligence of its target audience. It's hard to even hate-watch. They need to do better.

 

Ratings for this finale were the best of the season & yet still miserably low.  This has to be THE lowest rated show on Bravo -- by far.  I've heard of the bottom line nature of both NBCUniversal (which Bravo is part of) & even more so of Comcast, which owns NBCUniversal.  Can Bravo execs get away with greenlighting another season of a show with such terrible ratings?  Shrugging hard cuz I really wouldn't think so.  The $'s lost in advertising revenue because of this show's poor ratings would be staggering -- not to mention the cost of the show itself.

 

There seems to be a passionate few who still adore the show, so maybe Netflix is a better fit, where ratings seem mostly irrelevant.

Edited February 25, 2016 by ScoobieDoobs

[Grey Goose]

I watched it and I still don't know. 

I hate Abby. Worst mother ever. Can't stand what she puts her daughter through. Go eat a sandwich, you self absorbed overly dramatic twit. If there is a next season, I hope Jake (who I don't even like, either) takes both kids away from her. 

I wondered if I dozed off during the bombshell.  This show is so poorly done it's entertaining.  The Barbara character serves only to move (and that's generous) plot forward and she's not believable as a person.  The book editor is a good book editor but she's fired for telling the truth -  Abby submits an awful book, the editor says switch gears, and all of the sudden Abby is thinking about her kids for a change and fires the person who makes her money?  The editor is the anti-moral center compass?  Terrible writing.    There's no one to root for.   Everyone is morally vacuous.  Forced overacting.  It's not a good vehicle for anyone.  Cringeworthy.

[Julia]

I watched it and I still don't know. 

I hate Abby. Worst mother ever. Can't stand what she puts her daughter through. Go eat a sandwich, you self absorbed overly dramatic twit. If there is a next season, I hope Jake (who I don't even like, either) takes both kids away from her.

If Jake took both kids away, Abby would end up playing nanny at Jake's place while Jake got spa treatments with the child support money.

[Crazy8]

If Jake took both kids away, Abby would end up playing nanny at Jake's place while Jake got spa treatments with the child support money.

This is probably being storyboarded by the writers right now for next season. I saw someone describe this show as feminist once and I wondered WTF they'd been smoking. 

[Syd]

I hope they just end it. The only one I will miss seeing is Beau Garrett. I hope to never see Alanna Ubach in anything, that's how much they ruined that character this season (who was my favorite last season). I even hate the actress now. 

[chick binewski]

I thought this show regained its footing nicely last season several episodes after Janeane Garofalo left (the Thanksgiving episode in particular was a favorite). But it worked for me because the characters' relationships were interesting and/or fun to watch. Abby didn't act like a complete wingnut around Will. I liked when Jake & Abby attempted to be good parents together (I always thought Paul Adelstein worked really nicely with the child actors). I also thought Brandon Jay McLaren (Marco) added a hell of a lot to the show & was hoping he'd stick around a bit longer.

 

This season I don't know what I'm watching other than really obvious product placement. Delia's involvement with Gordon was always hard to watch; this season it was just torture. Abby has gone insane and completely lost any nurturing qualities she had towards her friends. I think Beau Garrett is really trying with whatever material they give her, but did they have to get her hitched to Ken Cosgrove after knowing each other not at all? And I don't want to actively dislike Alanna Ubach (I think the actress really pulls off the broken/crushed/wanting to die moments) but watching her with the wide-eyed shouting is like watching Scandal or Grey's Anatomy now - the directors don't know what to do with the actors so they instruct them to SHOUT EVERYTHING.

 

The only thing this show succeeded in doing this season is making me feel 350 pounds overweight.

[mrsbagnet]

The writing on this show has gotten so bad that even the episode title is crappy. Whoever came up with it doesn't know the meaning of oxymoron.

[Judi Sunshine]

I still love the show! 

[Dahlia]

I do too!!!

[Crazy8]

I just read that Bravo are holding back on making a decision on this for a couple of months, which obviously means they're losing confidence in it. I know it has its fans, but if a show doesn't build on its audience from the first year, even though you threw even more money at it, then you can bet your ass it'll do worse still for a third season! There's no way GG2D is going to do for Bravo what Breaking Bad did for AMC. None of the major reviewers are paying it any attention. It's not winning any awards. It's losing loads of viewers from its decent lead-in. It's not even getting panned, it's just invisible. I'm damn sure they can find something way better from all the Pilot scripts that are floating around out there! Hell, I'm not even sure it's fair to keep the actors attached to this show, although I'd be happy to only see some of them (including Edelstein) in small parts in the future.  

[STOPSHOUTING]

Oh my god I just can't with this show. I watched season one and found it fairly entertaining, for the most part, if frustrating at points, but season 2 has been an unmitigated disaster. Janeane Garofalo so had the right idea! I really should have walked away after the first three episodes made me feel stabby about these horrible women and their horrible choices, but being a glutton (and a completist) I pushed on, hoping it would improve. I should have bailed, because it only got worse as it dragged to this pathetic, farcical ending. 

 

If you don't want to get married. DON'T GET MARRIED.  Problem solved. You don't have to sleep with creepy guys to "work out" that issue, which you've already explicitly stated to everyone, INCLUDING YOUR FIANCE. Also, no way, no how they'd just be hanging out at the reception, still in her wedding dress, totally unnoticed, unmolested and unremarked on by the other guests, just drinking and chatting. You know, as you do, after your wedding has been revealed as a sham. As if anyone else would still be there either after A) the groom bailed, B) it was revealed why C) a party guest made a rude speech and was then tackled onto the cake and, finally, D) said tackler makes a speech declaring his love for someone else ... And an hour later there are still plenty of guests milling around having cocktails. Em hmm. Seems credible.

 

Oh and, what the ever-loving-hell was the point of "going through with the wedding" to avoid embarrassment, which makes zero sense since you look a lot more foolish marrying a "whore," as Gordon called her, and then getting divorced/annulled a day later, than just canceling the damn thing .. But I digress. Anyway, why go through with it and then just run away, because, duh, that's gonna cause away more "talk"? ... STUPID!!!

 

I don't know if I would ever say I was a "fan" of Lise Edelstein, but her portrayal of Abby has certainly made me an anti-fan now, in large part because of the limited interviewing I've seen of her, Edelstein seems far too similar to the the loathsome Abby in real life, as well. (Edelstein's, a daughter of privilege herself, first claim to fame was as one of the original "club kids" ... people in New York City who thought themselves style arbiters and partied professionally, with the goal to make everyone feel less cool than they were ... Which sounds exactly like something Abby would do.) Abby is wholly self absorbed with her entire self-worth tied up in who she knows, what she looks like and who wants her.

 

Don't get me wrong, kudos to Edelstein who absolutely looks ah-may-zing for her actual, or any, really, age, but I couldn't care less about who does or doesn't want to sleep with her. Ugh. Soo boring.

 

Locking yourself in the bathroom to sob about your difficult life -- all problems of your own making -- at someone else's wedding, who got left at the alter no less, is a pitch perfect embodiment of the me-me-me person Abby is. Grossness x12. And what the ever loving hell was her ex doing showing up at that bathroom door to, once again, rescue her? Because Abby is the center of the universe and irresistible, as the show tells us over and over.

 

And was that the worst fake baby holding ever to be shown on screen or what? What did they have under those blankets, a zucchini? Because they couldn't even spring for a Baby Alive? WTF????

 

Where the heck are your kids ladies, when you're constantly getting drunk and having sleepovers like overgrown junior high schoolers? (A comparison likely insulting to the junior high schoolers.) Or visiting strip clubs? Soliciting gigolos? Just, ugh! (I know I'm overusing the term, but I'm angry at this show for being so stupid and awful and "ugh" is all I can think.) I mean, we haven't seen Phoebe's kids for, what, a season and a half? And, as far as I know, through her many romances and sexual trauma storylines, she's never even mentioned them, other than as a prop when she didn't want their picture taken.

 

And, just to be clear, Delia is supposed to be a tough, wealthy, law partner, not to mention a stunningly beautiful woman engaged to a billionaire who adores her ... But she just can't keep her hands off short, bald Albert whom she can't resist having hot, kinky sex with, complete with trashy lingerie and hooker playmate for them to share? Alrighty then, male fantasy 101. Are they cribbing these plots from letters to Penthouse Forum?

 

I could go on and on with the dumb, but I'm really just mad at myself for actually watching all two seasons of this somehow both misogynistic and the worst sort of sudo-feminist, narcissistic mess. It's as if the writers modeled everything on the Sex and the City 2 movie. Yes, Girlfriend's Guide: It's a lesser carbon copy of one of the worst movies of all time. Kudos, and feel free to use that in your blurbs.

 

Ugh.

Edited April 5, 2016 by STOPSHOUTING

[Kirsty]

Abby had three great scenes in a row in this episode: the one where she and Jake sat on the floor and talked everything out; the one where her daughter found out about the escort and talked about Abby's recent behaviour; and the one where Barbara admitted that she liked her - that scene made me smile!

[mamey2422]

On 2/24/2016 at 6:48 PM, bichonblitz said:

I watched it and I still don't know. 

I hate Abby. Worst mother ever. Can't stand what she puts her daughter through. Go eat a sandwich, you self absorbed overly dramatic twit. If there is a next season, I hope Jake (who I don't even like, either) takes both kids away from her. 

I'm very late to this as I just watched season 2 on Netflix but I'm relieved I'm not the only one who thought Abby wa just a terrible person this season - friend, mother, and girlfriend. I thought her daughter calling her out on her out of control behavior was the best moment of the season.