S03.E05: Moving In

[Stinamaia]

I don't understand these couples at all. The first thing I would want to do if I were in this experiment, would be to want to hear the life story of the person. My goodness, I have had more intimate conversations with strangers on airplanes than these couples have. Maybe the producers just don't show that. Obviously, it would be disconcerting to be paired with either David or Neil, but at least I could pass the time by listening to their stories and finding out things about them. Maybe they do this when not being filmed, but it doesn't seem so, Or maybe it was listening to Tre's story of his life that alarmed his wife. I would just have so many questions and curiosity. If the person didn't want to share, I would be curious about that even. But I have been a question person all my life. I'm sure I drove adults crazy as a child.

Edited January 3, 2016 by Stinamaia

[Jack Sampson]

I don't understand these couples at all. The first thing I would want to do if I were in this experiment, would be to want to hear the life story of the person. My goodness, I have had more intimate conversations with strangers on airplanes than these couples have. Maybe the producers just don't show that.

To his credit, David tried some of that early on but Ashley just stared at him in blank silence. You have a pretty good idea that silence was genuine (not just editing) and continued throughout the honeymoon because she clearly hadn't asked him about his job until that conversation on the couch. Even then, he volunteered the information and she was disinterested until a dollar figure was mentioned.

She probably learned more paying attention to his mother for an hour than she bothered learning during the honeymoon.

[Stinamaia]

Yes, I know Ashley keeps repeating that she can't open up to a stranger, and that is completely baffling to me. She doesn't have to tell him all about herself if she just gets him to talking about himself, and once she hears all about him, she might feel more comfortable with him. Certainly, I've felt uncomfortable telling strangers about myself, but I find that under gentle probing they often tell me amazingly interesting stories that inform and instruct me while I divulge only a sliver of information about myself.

If I were David, I think that after a few days of her not talking at all, I would either tell her that I could t continue this way, or I would cease speaking to her at all except to be polite.

As for Neil and Sam, I don't know. It would be hard for me to confront Sam about her insults until I figured out that she wasn't going to stop until I spoke up. I don't blame him for holding that in. It just seems to me that they aren't telling each other about themselves -- I mean, sharing their life stories and experiences. I don't understand it.

[Adeejay]

This is so true.  I am getting a passive-aggressive vibe from him, as well as that urgency and sense of desperation, now that he is -- what? --  two weeks into the marriage? 

If it's true that David's father died when he was quite young it could be that his mother overcompensated and spoiled him, which has possibly given him unrealistic expectations from women. If this theory is true, it could also explain his somewhat childish behavior.

 

Yeah, it was very passive aggressive of David to try and have a conversation with the cold, humorless beyotch who has been contracted to play his "wife".  What on earth was he thinking?  

[seasick]

I'm surprised David doesn't hold a mirror in front of her nose to see if she was still breathing.. 

[Zero7]

I think they're leaving out a lot of stuff that goes on between the participants.  Ashley repeating over and over again that she can't open up so easy with a stranger seems out of context to me.  David may be moving in too fast too soon and they're not showing us all of it.  Ashley might have every reason to want to back away from him.

[Neurochick]

The thing is, if Ashley can't open up to a stranger; why is she even on a reality show?  

[qtpye]

She came on the show, because she thought the experts were going to provide her with the man of her dreams.  Unfortunately, she was so turned off when she saw David (he was so physically far apart from what she wants for herself) that she closed herself off and is refusing to give him a chance.   It is a very stupid attitude to have for a show like this and she is far shallower then she realized.

 

I think Sam has had the same reaction.  Sam, in her elegant bull in a china shop way, is trying to get over her initial disgust and power on.

 

It also does not have to do with the relative attractiveness of the other person.  For all we know, Ashley could like men who dress and act like old school Pee Wee Herman, it is just that she is rigid in what she wants and is not willing to bend on that point.

 

I do not like Sam, but Neil's unique looks would be hard sell to a lot of women (more so then David).  Both the guys seem really nice and I hope are not too crushed by the attitudes of their brides.

Edited January 4, 2016 by qtpye

[Jax7917]

I disagree with what a lot of you are saying about David. I don't find him needy at all. I think he's just trying to get to know the woman he married. Out of the 3 guys, I like his personality the best. He asks questions, is sweet and has a sense of humor. My god, if I was set up with Ashley i would have broken my contract and asked for a divorce after a few days of being with her. She has absolutely no personality and doesn't want to open up to a "stranger", yet had no problem signing up for the show where that was the whole premise. Chances are the person you are going to be set up with is most likely not gonna be the man of your dreams looks wise. Each season its the same thing. The girl is not attracted to the guy. It's funny how the guy is never constantly complaining about the girls looks when most of the time they are not beauties themselves. I'm a girl and yet I have to say, girls are way more shallow than guys are when it comes to looks. 

[kam]

She came on the show, because she thought the experts were going to provide her with the man of her dreams. Unfortunately, she was so turned off when she saw David (he was so physically far apart from what she wants for herself) that she closed herself off and is refusing to give him a chance. It is a very stupid attitude to have for a show like this and she is far shallower then she realized.

I think Sam has had the same reaction. Sam, in her elegant bull in a china shop way, is trying to get over her initial disgust and power on.

It also does not have to do with the relative attractiveness of the other person. For all we know, Ashley could like men who dress and act like old school Pee Wee Herman, it is just that she is rigid in what she wants and is not willing to bend on that point.

I do not like Sam, but Neil's unique looks would be hard sell to a lot of women (more so then David). Both the guys seem really nice and I hope are not too crushed by the attitudes of their brides.

Interesting because I would be able to deal with Neil, IMO he is better looking than David. I don't fault Ashley but since she signed up for this she has to atleast try.

David also just doesn't seem that genuine to me, if someone is reading from a script(romance novel) it's him. something just isn't right there.

[ralph]

I don't understand these couples at all. The first thing I would want to do if I were in this experiment, would be to want to hear the life story of the person. My goodness, I have had more intimate conversations with strangers on airplanes than these couples have. Maybe the producers just don't show that. Obviously, it would be disconcerting to be paired with either David or Neil, but at least I could pass the time by listening to their stories and finding out things about them. Maybe they do this when not being filmed, but it doesn't seem so, Or maybe it was listening to Tre's story of his life that alarmed his wife. I would just have so many questions and curiosity. If the person didn't want to share, I would be curious about that even. But I have been a question person all my life. I'm sure I drove adults crazy as a child.

Reading that, this kinda makes me think that the experts and producers should get the couples to do more to get closer instead of pushing them together, putting them on a honeymoon and making them play house. Something like missions or activities to foster intimacy. Like you said, having the couples sit down and talk to each other about their lives would be great. Those things that marriage counselors often have people do like, staring into each others eyes for a certain amount of time or listening to each other uninterrupted. Even small things like playing games or going on activities together. I think a little something like this is needed for the people who are a bit standoffish about getting closer on their own.

[girlplease]

I think they're leaving out a lot of stuff that goes on between the participants.  Ashley repeating over and over again that she can't open up so easy with a stranger seems out of context to me.  David may be moving in too fast too soon and they're not showing us all of it.  Ashley might have every reason to want to back away from him.

 

My thoughts exactly. He seems pushy to me, and even if Ashley went in with the best intentions she might have gotten freaked out by his omg my wifey routine.

 

Yes, they all signed up for this, but I'm not mad at any of them who want to take things at their own pace - whether that's consummating the marriage on the first night or not wanting to hold hands after two weeks. It's up to the individual and what they're comfortable with. I think we all acknowledge that the "vetting" and "experts" are totally flawed, so I'm not sure why we expect these cast members to act any better than the production.

 

ralph, I like your idea! They do seem to throw these folks to the wolves, and more structure in the experiment could be a good thing.

[sleekandchic]

In rewatching the Moving In episode, I'm struck by how VERY difficult it seems for Ashley to make eye contact with Dave, and for Sam to make eye contact with Neil. It's sad because the disconnects have nothing to do with shyness or unease or the introvert's personality. No, to me, it looks like neither of the women can bear to even look at their husbands.

Shallow alert: I've always assumed that people who are cast on reality shows are given guidelines or help about grooming, appearance, etc. Poor Ashley has a prominent moustache. It's black and noticeable (on my tv). Has no one from the show told her she needs the salon? Or has she rejected the idea?

I know many people felt bad that Ashley and Dave drew the Arizona honeymoon, but in retrospect if Ashley doesn't believe in hair removal on principle, then it's better she didn't wear a swimsuit on tv. Her poor parents would be in overdrive explaining why au naturel is better, and how we ignoramuses will just never understand the specialness of Ashley!

[EverybodyIsACritic]

I still don't see why people think Neil doesn't have a nice body. He wears a lot of tanks and you can see he's got nice arms and definition in his chest. I also don't see why people don't think Ashley's good looking. I think she's gorgeous. ...and David has a nice ass.

I just noticed Neil's arms during the new episode, and was all, "Yo, Sam, check him out from this angle!!"

I thought Ashley was beautiful until her complete shutdown at the wedding. She lost ANY personality she had previously displayed. I also thought David was a hottie until he was geeking out over how beautiful Ashley was. I just don't find the "gee, gosh, golly" thing attractive, but the boy definitely gets the Mr. Trying The Hardest award. And I will definitely check out that azz.

[Marlene]

Wow. I cannot stand Sam. She is the type of woman that in real life I would avoid. She thinks she is so funny but most of her jokes are stupid. She is a drama queen and I am sure she has been spoiled rotten by her family. They loved her brazen attitude and cheered her on and now she thinks she is all that. They do not fit at all! 

 

They might have thought he would calm her but there is nobody that can calm this narcissistic little girl.

 

Then we have Ashley. I find her to be Jekyl and Hyde. At first I thought she was okay. Then the incident with the strippers happened and I thought she was a nasty witch.Very rude. Then I started to think maybe I was wrong because it seemed she was okay , laughing a lot but her facial expression and what she tells us are not matching. I am going to give this a try, i like him her mouth says but look at her body language and her face. eeeek! 

 

Then the third couple. I just do not know and really am not bothered. yet. 

[Marlene]

 

 

 I too noticed the anger issues, especially when she was talking to him about how they would divide the expenses. To pinch a penny not only until it bleeds but until you've hacked it up in little pieces denotes a person with no forgiveness nor ability to give and take even a little bit.  It's scary.  

 

 

Wow. I read what you wrote and you hit the nail on the head with this. It is scary and people that cannot forgive are ones I avoid as well. So glad she lives in another continent than mine.

[petalfrog]

I know I am way late to the party on this one but I will be moving to Atlanta and LOVED Sam and Neil's first (and second) house. Can anyone tell me the specific neighborhood they lived in or if they by some miracle know the realtor they may have used??