Valerie's Home Cooking - General Discussion

[buttersister]

My theory being she mentioned Tom a ton while Eddie was still alive. 

[Quof]

I feel like Val is a bit of a Smother, who probably should have had a dozen kids.  Wolfie seems to play along, and I expect could refuse to appear if he truly didn't want to.  The overbearing mom and annoyed kid is their shtick. 

[chick binewski]

I mean...this episode was centered around Duff becoming a dad but we got 2 pictures of Eddie (no mention, tho) before the cooking started. 

That being said, the spring roll salad and the roasted cauliflower soup looked & sounded SO good. 

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, chick binewski said:

I mean...this episode was centered around Duff becoming a dad but we got 2 pictures of Eddie (no mention, tho) before the cooking started.  

I know, LOL.  She continues to find a way to insert Eddie into every episode, and usually Wolfie too.  Meanwhile her husband is still conspicuously absent.  And even if he didn't appear in person she would usually mention Tom here and there but so far this season it's crickets.  I noticed he retweeted something she posted earlier this month so I doubt anything is really amiss between them, but considering the way she acts it's no wonder we're wondering about that.

[Rightside]

And another mention of "Mrs Van Halen" and her favorite sauce.

I know this is Valerie's show, but there is more Eddie content "pictures, mentioning him, Mrs. Van Halen, mother in law) in three episodes (think this was the third ?) than all of any past season.

She could have made a mention of her father for Father's Day, right?

 

[cameron]

1 hour ago, Rightside said:

And another mention of "Mrs Van Halen" and her favorite sauce.

I know this is Valerie's show, but there is more Eddie content "pictures, mentioning him, Mrs. Van Halen, mother in law) in three episodes (think this was the third ?) than all of any past season.

She could have made a mention of her father for Father's Day, right?

 

Seems to be a pattern here.

[buttersister]

All I heard before clicking away was Valerie using the occasion of sending food to Duff and wife to dwell on her life when Wolfgang was born. Naturally.

[marmalade]

More Wolfie mentions today . Apparently Valerie’s brother is going on the road with Wolfie to watch our for him , and Valerie says it’s almost like she is with him !  Wow ! Her son is not a teen, he’s 30 years old ! Of course we had to see a picture of Wolfie ! Ugh 

It’s no wonder Wolfie acts like a bratty teen, Valerie treats him like a child .

Also, today her brother and sister-in-law were at the table and an empty chair next to Val . No mention of current husband again. 

 

[chick binewski]

I would have rather had the whitefish salad on an actual bagel instead of chips but I appreciated Patrick's enthusiasm shoveling the food in. Both he & his wife looked like they really enjoyed the meal!

At this point Tom could be buried under that outdoor table. for all we know 

Edited June 28, 2021 by chick binewski
Spelling counts.

[cameron]

8 hours ago, marmalade said:

More Wolfie mentions today . Apparently Valerie’s brother is going on the road with Wolfie to watch our for him , and Valerie says it’s almost like she is with him !  Wow ! Her son is not a teen, he’s 30 years old ! Of course we had to see a picture of Wolfie ! Ugh 

It’s no wonder Wolfie acts like a bratty teen, Valerie treats him like a child .

Also, today her brother and sister-in-law were at the table and an empty chair next to Val . No mention of current husband again. 

 

Think he is old enough to lose the ie after his name and have to wonder if he would have made it in the music field if his last name wasn't Van Halen.

[buttersister]

Yikes, that empty chair was yelling, WTF, Tom?

Also, Val, bagel chips are fine but a one-word alternative when you’ve got two-dozen bagels: freezer.

Edited June 28, 2021 by buttersister

[chick binewski]

17 hours ago, cameron said:

Think he is old enough to lose the ie after his name and have to wonder if he would have made it in the music field if his last name wasn't Van Halen.

I haven't listened to new releases from VH in years so I can't speak to the son's talent other than some skill level seems to run in the family. But, yeah - Eddie booted Michael Anthony from the band to give his teenaged son a job, then stated his son was a natural whereas Eddie had to spoon-feed everything to a sub-par Anthony. It seemed a bit undeserved at the time.

I'm kind of obsessed with Valerie/VH minor gossip - maybe due to my age. But I think a lot of folks protect Eddie and some of the stories make no sense. When Valerie did that Reelz special she brought up how David Lee Roth just tortured Eddie and made his life hell but...she didn't say how. It was just weird. Her brothers seem to have zero issue with the band - I think they both partied with them a LOT (which frankly, if the groupie tents story is true would not thrill me as a sister whose husband was hanging with my siblings). 

6 hours ago, buttersister said:

Yikes, that empty chair was yelling, WTF, Tom?

Also, Val, bagel chips are fine but a one-word alternative when you’ve got two-dozen bagels: freezer.

I was thinking the same thing during that bagel gift story!

And it DOES seem like the producers are just trolling us at this point.

[goldenpuppy]

I can’t stand hard rock music so it’s hard for me to judge Wolfie. 

I like Valerie , she just seems like a truly nice person and someone who would be a very good friend .   I have to say I was skeptical when she first started her cooking show and was a judge on Kids Baking Championship , but she is very good I like her recipes .

Having said that ,  I do think lately Valerie is showing signs of some kind of problems . She seems to have no filter,  and her public obsession with Wolfie and her ex are cringeworthy.  Also, her need to go on the Today show and cry about personal issues and argue with people on Twitter is not what someone with good boundaries does .

Oh, she posted an Insta story of Wolfie with the caption “so handsome “! ( umm, no he’s not !)  Then a video of her listening to his music while driving and doing some kind of head banger type dance ! I get she is proud , but she seems to also be so over the top and a bit weird , as if he is 5 years old ! Maybe that is why Wolfie acts like an irritated teenager ! She and her family seem to act like he is a child .

Edited June 30, 2021 by goldenpuppy

[Rightside]

I would really like to see Valerie just cook on the show!  I don't need to see anymore pictures of Wolfie or updates on what he is doing. This is a cooking show!

 If she wants to chat about Wolfie on TV, then get a talk show and have a cooking segment.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Rightside

[cameron]

1 hour ago, Rightside said:

I would really like to see Valerie just cook on the show!  I don't need to see anymore pictures of Wolfie or updates on what he is doing. This is a cooking show!

 If she wants to chat about Wolfie on TV, then get a talk show and have a cooking segment.

Wish she would stop calling him Wolfie.  He is 30 years and a grown man.

[Quof]

For the record, Wolf(ie) seems entirely happy with his relationship with his mom. 

 

https://people.com/music/wolfgang-van-halen-on-mom-valerie-bertinelli-relationship/

[Rightside]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

For the record, Wolf(ie) seems entirely happy with his relationship with his mom. htts://people.com/music/wolfgang-van-halen-on-mom-valerie-bertinelli-relationship/

That is completely fine. 

He's an only child but I just don't need to hear about him endlessly on her cooking show.

[marmalade]

5 hours ago, Quof said:

For the record, Wolf(ie) seems entirely happy with his relationship with his mom. 

 

https://people.com/music/wolfgang-van-halen-on-mom-valerie-bertinelli

9 minutes ago, Rightside said:

That is completely fine. 

He's an only child but I just don't need to hear about him endlessly on her cooking show.

-relationship/

Yes, that’s wonderful , but when your mom still acts like you are 5 years old and your relationship is like you are both teenagers , it’s  a bit odd .  
 

I also wonder how annoying it is it was   for invisible Tom to have 30 year old Wolfie  over every day visiting mommy and having weekly movie nights with him and his girlfriend.

I doubt Wolfie would have his career opportunity,  and his pretty girlfriend would be hanging around  when he’s such a mama’s boy and looks the way he does,   if he didn’t have celebrity parents . 

[Yeah No]

On 6/27/2021 at 6:39 PM, marmalade said:

More Wolfie mentions today . Apparently Valerie’s brother is going on the road with Wolfie to watch our for him , and Valerie says it’s almost like she is with him !  Wow ! Her son is not a teen, he’s 30 years old ! Of course we had to see a picture of Wolfie ! Ugh 

It’s no wonder Wolfie acts like a bratty teen, Valerie treats him like a child .

Also, today her brother and sister-in-law were at the table and an empty chair next to Val . No mention of current husband again. 

Valerie is one of those women that can never be without someone to mother.  If that means not cutting the apron strings with her adult son and treating him like a child, so be it.  Not being a mother myself and in her age bracket I have noticed that it's a common syndrome of women our age.  My SIL was a smother and her son, who is now 35 years old, was coddled in just the same manner.  It wasn't until she got a little dog that charmed her and gave her someone else to mother that my SIL was finally able to let go of her son, of course after the damage was done.  He had become a drummer in a local rock band, which made very little money and showed no signs of moving out of the house.  Of course his mother liked that just fine until the dog came along.  She finally saw the light, put her foot down and encouraged him to get a college degree and move into the basement, where she allowed him to live only until he graduated, upon which he would have to get a self supporting job and his own living arrangements.  He only just moved out of the house last year after getting himself a "real" job.  He only dates women a lot younger than him, most of them college students with issues.  Usually he dumps them after a year or so.  Yeah, I know....

So anyway, the point of the story is that someone should get Valerie someone else to mother, like a little dog she can dress up in costumes and post photos of to Facebook and Instagram.  Then maybe she'll be able to let go of her son.

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Quof said:

For the record, Wolf(ie) seems entirely happy with his relationship with his mom. 

 

https://people.com/music/wolfgang-van-halen-on-mom-valerie-bertinelli-relationship/

Wolfie has to love his mother, she trained him well to be dependent on her, that's precisely the problem here.  Plus I'm sure he knows better than to bite the hand that feeds him.

[marmalade]

24 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Valerie is one of those women that can never be without someone to mother.  If that means not cutting the apron strings with her adult son and treating him like a child, so be it.  Not being a mother myself and in her age bracket I have noticed that it's a common syndrome of women our age.  My SIL was a smother and her son, who is now 35 years old, was coddled in just the same manner.  It wasn't until she got a little dog that charmed her and gave her someone else to mother that my SIL was finally able to let go of her son, of course after the damage was done.  He had become a drummer in a local rock band, which made very little money and showed no signs of moving out of the house.  Of course his mother liked that just fine until the dog came along.  She finally saw the light, put her foot down and encouraged him to get a college degree and move into the basement, where she allowed him to live only until he graduated, upon which he would have to get a self supporting job and his own living arrangements.  He only just moved out of the house last year after getting himself a "real" job.  He only dates women a lot younger than him, most of them college students with issues.  Usually he dumps them after a year or so.  Yeah, I know....

So anyway, the point of the story is that someone should get Valerie someone else to mother, like a little dog she can dress up in costumes and post photos of to Facebook and Instagram.  Then maybe she'll be able to let go of her son.

 

Valerie already has a few cats  and a dog, doesn’t look like it helped her not smother Wolfie !

She needs therapy! She engages trolls on Twitter all the time too .

I can not imagine the crazy that  will happen when she and wacko Demi Lovato work on the set of their sitcom ! 

[cameron]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Valerie is one of those women that can never be without someone to mother.  If that means not cutting the apron strings with her adult son and treating him like a child, so be it.  Not being a mother myself and in her age bracket I have noticed that it's a common syndrome of women our age.  My SIL was a smother and her son, who is now 35 years old, was coddled in just the same manner.  It wasn't until she got a little dog that charmed her and gave her someone else to mother that my SIL was finally able to let go of her son, of course after the damage was done.  He had become a drummer in a local rock band, which made very little money and showed no signs of moving out of the house.  Of course his mother liked that just fine until the dog came along.  She finally saw the light, put her foot down and encouraged him to get a college degree and move into the basement, where she allowed him to live only until he graduated, upon which he would have to get a self supporting job and his own living arrangements.  He only just moved out of the house last year after getting himself a "real" job.  He only dates women a lot younger than him, most of them college students with issues.  Usually he dumps them after a year or so.  Yeah, I know....

So anyway, the point of the story is that someone should get Valerie someone else to mother, like a little dog she can dress up in costumes and post photos of to Facebook and Instagram.  Then maybe she'll be able to let go of her son.

 

Actually, not a common trait with women our age.  At least the women I know.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, cameron said:

Actually, not a common trait with women our age.  At least the women I know.

Good for you.  It's common among women I know.  I can tell you dozens of similar stories but I don't want to take up the bandwidth.  It's one of the reasons why so many older people today complain about Millennials that won't move out of their parents' houses. In many cases their parents aren't making enough of an effort to push them out, or even unconsciously sabotaging their efforts to become independent because they can't cut the apron strings. 

I can actually write a thesis about this I have so much to add to it.  I remember when I was in my 20s I was shocked at how people my age were acting like their children were little glass dolls that might break and the impetus was to rush in and protect them from every cut and scrape, to the point of keeping them shut up indoors and not allowing them to do anything without a pre-scheduled "play date".  No longer were kids allowed to play on their own without constant up-close supervision because of the fear of what might happen to them, which wasn't even a part of the common consciousness only a few years before.  IMO it was encouraged by the media, which suddenly realized that it could capitalize on fear when one little boy named Etan Patz disappeared in NYC.  The overreaction to that one incident was incredible, IMO.  It made national news at the time precisely because it was such a rare occurrence, but it put an obsessive fear in parents almost overnight.  So I think sensational news like that started the over-parenting.  In the name of protecting their children, parents weren't giving their kids the foundation to become independent adults and couldn't gradually let go of them without feeling guilt like they were going to fail them, leave them open to predators, or screw them up if they didn't.  If you didn't dedicate every moment of your life to your child's well being, even down to rushing in to protect them from every little thing, you were seen as somehow deficient as a parent.  I think the psychology books at the time were guilting parents into thinking that if they didn't do what I think amounts to over-parenting their kids would get screwed up, but in reality it just screwed them up in a different way. 

So it's no wonder jokes are made today about adult children in their 30s that can't seem to cut the apron strings.  Those jokes wouldn't be made if it wasn't in some way a thing, IMO.  I realize there are more reasons for the phenomenon than just mothers who "smother" but I think that is for sure a part of it.  The contrast between the typical parenting style of people from my parents' generation versus my generation is incredible.   Getting a scrape on the knee was still a cause for sympathy when I was a kid, but things like that were seen as just a part of life by our parents, and we were encouraged to deal with them on our own as we matured, not continually babied into our 30s.  It wasn't unsympathetic of them, it was teaching their children to handle life without their parents.  The attitude was a LOT different.  Back then I did see mothers who "smothered" but nowhere near the numbers we have now, and it was only in the most extreme cases.  I think Valerie would have been a "smother" in any generation but maybe not to the extent she is if she had been from her parents' generation.  I kind of doubt her own mother was that way.

And yes, I have an advanced degree in Psychology, which of course doesn't make me an expert  by any means, but I have been a student of  human relationships for my entire life, and for sure, this is just my opinion, like any other.

Edited July 1, 2021 by Yeah No

[annzeepark914]

We also didn't have the internet with kiddie porn on it back in the day.  And men breaking into houses and abducting kids.  Sure, this abducting kids wasn't happening in every town, every day of the week. But it was happening enough to make a lot of parents uneasy about their kids playing outside (or riding a bike to the park, etc). Didn't it all really start in the 80's?

Valerie has certainly offered some good recipes during her time on Food Network.  So I hope she gets some help. There aren't that many interesting cooking shows on FN now and I, for one, am sick of FN being overrun with Guy's boring shows plus shows featuring the worst cooks, etc. 

[cameron]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Good for you.  It's common among women I know.  I can tell you dozens of similar stories but I don't want to take up the bandwidth.  It's one of the reasons why so many older people today complain about Millennials that won't move out of their parents' houses. In many cases their parents aren't making enough of an effort to push them out, or even unconsciously sabotaging their efforts to become independent because they can't cut the apron strings. 

I can actually write a thesis about this I have so much to add to it.  I remember when I was in my 20s I was shocked at how people my age were acting like their children were little glass dolls that might break and the impetus was to rush in and protect them from every cut and scrape, to the point of keeping them shut up indoors and not allowing them to do anything without a pre-scheduled "play date".  No longer were kids allowed to play on their own without constant up-close supervision because of the fear of what might happen to them, which wasn't even a part of the common consciousness only a few years before.  IMO it was encouraged by the media, which suddenly realized that it could capitalize on fear when one little boy named Etan Patz disappeared in NYC.  The overreaction to that one incident was incredible, IMO.  It made national news at the time precisely because it was such a rare occurrence, but it put an obsessive fear in parents almost overnight.  So I think sensational news like that started the over-parenting.  In the name of protecting their children, parents weren't giving their kids the foundation to become independent adults and couldn't gradually let go of them without feeling guilt like they were going to fail them, leave them open to predators, or screw them up if they didn't.  If you didn't dedicate every moment of your life to your child's well being, even down to rushing in to protect them from every little thing, you were seen as somehow deficient as a parent.  I think the psychology books at the time were guilting parents into thinking that if they didn't do what I think amounts to over-parenting their kids would get screwed up, but in reality it just screwed them up in a different way. 

So it's no wonder jokes are made today about adult children in their 30s that can't seem to cut the apron strings.  Those jokes wouldn't be made if it wasn't in some way a thing, IMO.  I realize there are more reasons for the phenomenon than just mothers who "smother" but I think that is for sure a part of it.  The contrast between the typical parenting style of people from my parents' generation versus my generation is incredible.   Getting a scrape on the knee was still a cause for sympathy when I was a kid, but things like that were seen as just a part of life by our parents, and we were encouraged to deal with them on our own as we matured, not continually babied into our 30s.  It wasn't unsympathetic of them, it was teaching their children to handle life without their parents.  The attitude was a LOT different.  Back then I did see mothers who "smothered" but nowhere near the numbers we have now, and it was only in the most extreme cases.  I think Valerie would have been a "smother" in any generation but maybe not to the extent she is if she had been from her parents' generation.  I kind of doubt her own mother was that way.

And yes, I have an advanced degree in Psychology, which of course doesn't make me an expert  by any means, but I have been a student of  human relationships for my entire life, and for sure, this is just my opinion, like any other.

Don't think that it's a trait assigned to certain age groups.  I've seen this scenario in older women as well as younger, and not a relatively new thing IMO.  Actually saw it first hand with my dead father-in-law and his mother, my own brother and really good friends whose son is almost 50.  Not a clear cut defining factor.  Depends on the parents and how their children react to the situation.

[Yeah No]

11 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

We also didn't have the internet with kiddie porn on it back in the day.  And men breaking into houses and abducting kids.  Sure, this abducting kids wasn't happening in every town, every day of the week. But it was happening enough to make a lot of parents uneasy about their kids playing outside (or riding a bike to the park, etc). Didn't it all really start in the 80's?

It was a lot rarer back then but you'd never know that from the way people acted.  Today there is much more reason to worry but there is still no reason for a woman like Valerie to still be treating her son like a child way into adulthood.

9 minutes ago, cameron said:

Don't think that it's a trait assigned to certain age groups.  I've seen this scenario in older women as well as younger, and not a relatively new thing IMO.  Actually saw it first hand with my dead father-in-law and his mother, my own brother and really good friends whose son is almost 50.  Not a clear cut defining factor.  Depends on the parents and how their children react to the situation.

Oh for sure, I did admit that, but my opinion is that it's more prevalent with parents from my generation, who would be in the vicinity of Valerie's general age bracket.  The only parents in my age bracket I know that pushed their kids to go to college, pursue a career and get their own living arrangements are from certain tight knit social backgrounds, like immigrants.  It became far more socially acceptable in large parts of American society for kids to stay at home, work at menial jobs, play in garage bands and never seek independence.  And their parents were afraid to tell the kids what to do, instead wanting them to do whatever made them happy, thinking that this was the right thing to do.  Valerie for sure is one of those, but of course with their money there was no chance that her son would be poor if he never made any money and instead became a poet or something, LOL.

[chick binewski]

Watched a repeat this morning while getting ready for work - Val was grating garlic and saying how the smell reminded her so much of her ex-brother in law Alex, who apparently used to walk around eating raw whole cloves of garlic.

This image has been knocking around my empty head all day and I'm not sure if that's due to

1. my obsession with Valerie's obsession with the Van Halens or

2. my obsession with how hot I used to think Alex Van Halen was or

3. my obsession with garlic.

[HyeChaps]

Is the current season being shot on a studio set?  Were the previous seasons at her real house?

[marmalade]

Valerie has cute pictures of her kitties on Instagram and has a song playing , of course it’s a Van Halen song!

Oh and Hoda is going to be on her show !  Yuck 

[annzeepark914]

22 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Valerie has cute pictures of her kitties on Instagram and has a song playing , of course it’s a Van Halen song.

Geez... she's still acting like a widow. Someone needs to have a chat with her...soon!

[cynicat]

On 7/3/2021 at 8:11 PM, annzeepark914 said:

Geez... she's still acting like a widow. Someone needs to have a chat with her...soon!

FWIW, she still is a widow.  Displaying her emotions on her TV show may be over the top, but on the other hand, perhaps it is helpful to others who are experiencing the same kind of grief. They were married a long time, he's the father of her child, and I could definitely be wrong, but didn't they have a relatively amicable divorce?

Personally, I just watch for the cooking and because she seems like a very nice person.  

[cameron]

1 hour ago, cynicat said:

FWIW, she still is a widow.  Displaying her emotions on her TV show may be over the top, but on the other hand, perhaps it is helpful to others who are experiencing the same kind of grief. They were married a long time, he's the father of her child, and I could definitely be wrong, but didn't they have a relatively amicable divorce?

Personally, I just watch for the cooking and because she seems like a very nice person.  

I think that Ed's second wife that he married in 2009 might take exception to that.  She is the widow.

[buttersister]

6 hours ago, cameron said:

I think that Ed's second wife that he married in 2009 might take exception to that.  She is the widow.

Yep, and while he may be trying to be supportive and patient, I can’t imagine her current husband is too thrilled with that, either.

[cynicat]

8 hours ago, cameron said:

I think that Ed's second wife that he married in 2009 might take exception to that.  She is the widow.

That's fair.  By the same token, it must be tough.

[goldenpuppy]

13 hours ago, cynicat said:

FWIW, she still is a widow.  Displaying her emotions on her TV show may be over the top, but on the other hand, perhaps it is helpful to others who are experiencing the same kind of grief. They were married a long time, he's the father of her child, and I could definitely be wrong, but didn't they have a relatively amicable divorce?

Personally, I just watch for the cooking and because she seems like a very nice person.  

I agree she seems like a very nice person and I like her cooking , but she is melting down on the Today show , social media and on her cooking show .  
 

I would not appreciate her behavior if I was the current spouse of her or Ed .  I think she’s been though a lot of loss in a short amount of time and her feelings are understandable. But, she is showing a lack of boundaries and self control and she most likely would benefit from counseling where she can deal with the feelings.

3 hours ago, cynicat said:

That's fair.  By the same token, it must be tough.

Yes, but should deal with those feelings privately and get real help, not some wacky “coach” that “ Maria Shriver found for her to talk to on National tv !

[goldenpuppy]

Valerie needs to stay off Twitter ! She argues with idiots who just want to start fights . 

Wolfie apparently was insulted by some evangelical poster who insulted him . So, of course Wolfie quoted the post and said he wanted people to say mean things to the poster .  Wolfie needs to grow a thicker skin or respond to jerks himself . 

Of course , Valerie the mama bear had to post something to the mean poster to protect her 30 year old baby !

I think that Valerie is going to hurt her career if she keeps engaging idiots on social media . Twitter is a place for the loudest jerks to insult and  complain , she needs to get off of that site and stop arguing for  Wolfie and wnd about politics !   It’s so nice she has a sitcom , she’s talented , but sadly unstable addict  Demi Lovato is staring with her and high seems like a bad idea !
 

[annzeepark914]

https://www.iheart.com/content/2021-02-22-valerie-bertinelli-has-been-grief-shamed-since-eddie-van-halens-death/#.YOOIpD8li1Q.mailto

I hope this link works.  So...Valerie has been made aware of how her actions have been perceived by lots of people.  I still feel sorry for her because she's way too emotional to be successfully (in a mentally healthy way) handling Ed's death (& Wolf's need to be treated like an adult child).  She's a good person (not one of the show biz jerks) so I hope she's getting some helpful therapy.

[buttersister]

It works.

Quote

Maybe one day I'll figure it out and write a book about it."

We’ve been warned.

Some things are better done in private. Therapy is one of them. If Hoda or whoever told her this would help viewers, shame on them. Even Val knows better (see quote above). For her sake, I hope she gets a better therapist to help her through her grieving process. 

[Yeah No]

21 hours ago, buttersister said:

Yep, and while he may be trying to be supportive and patient, I can’t imagine her current husband is too thrilled with that, either.

Yeah, especially because I think Eddie was her first true love and soul mate, and part of what she is going through is not just grief but the way his loss is affecting her feelings about her current relationship.  While Eddie was alive she could "have her cake and eat it too" in a way since they were amicable and had an ongoing relationship.  She didn't have to give up feeling emotionally close to her soul mate just because she remarried.  I get the feeling that her present husband is unable to be that kind of soul mate to her and so the loss is more than just grief but the emptiness of being without that soul mate bond, which made up for the lack of that certain level of fulfillment in her current relationship.  So I have to wonder if this is obvious to her present husband.  If it's something I've thought, I can't imagine it hasn't crossed his mind as well. 

[chick binewski]

17 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

https://www.iheart.com/content/2021-02-22-valerie-bertinelli-has-been-grief-shamed-since-eddie-van-halens-death/#.YOOIpD8li1Q.mailto

I hope this link works.  So...Valerie has been made aware of how her actions have been perceived by lots of people. 

 

17 hours ago, goldenpuppy said:

I would not appreciate her behavior if I was the current spouse of her or Ed .  I think she’s been though a lot of loss in a short amount of time and her feelings are understandable. But, she is showing a lack of boundaries and self control and she most likely would benefit from counseling where she can deal with the feelings.

Yes, but should deal with those feelings privately and get real help, not some wacky “coach” that “ Maria Shriver found for her to talk to on National tv !

Of course Bertinelli is allowed to miss her ex and to mourn that loss, as well as her son's loss. But she seems purposefully obtuse here. Publicly mourning an ex to this extent is slightly off-putting, but this seems like she's usurping the actual widow. Bertinelli is famous with a social media following - the widow is not. Addressing your ex as "my love" in a social media post strikes me as...insensitive.

(For all I know Eddie's second marriage was crap. But Bertinelli can't get annoyed at public reaction when she's the one who makes personal public.)

I'm actually a big Valerie fan (and a believer in therapy) and maybe I'm picking at her bc I'm more of a mess right now than usual, but I do think there's an odd relationship with counseling/outside opinions. Several years ago Valerie disclosed how much she and Tom went to therapy and I remember being shocked at the frequency. If it works - great. But how often do you need an outside source involved? 

I do relate to Valerie's upbringing - not being able to complain, not able to express what hurts. Maybe that's why I post so often and try to figure out her reasoning.

[Yeah No]

53 minutes ago, chick binewski said:

Of course Bertinelli is allowed to miss her ex and to mourn that loss, as well as her son's loss. But she seems purposefully obtuse here. Publicly mourning an ex to this extent is slightly off-putting, but this seems like she's usurping the actual widow. Bertinelli is famous with a social media following - the widow is not. Addressing your ex as "my love" in a social media post strikes me as...insensitive.

It's not just off-putting and insensitive, it's creepy and in my opinion dysfunctional.  The fact that she just doesn't get the way people are reacting to it says a lot about her that's not good.  Well, we already know she has boundary issues given the way she continues to relate to her son like he's a child.  Codependence anyone?  She needs therapy for more than just grief.  And I really only wish the best for her.

[Gam2]

How about we all agree to let Valerie grieve the way she needs to, to support her son to grieve the way he needs to and to allow her husband Tom, with whom she’s seemed really happy, to support both of them. Perhaps they know the truth of their relationships more than we do. None of us, as far as I know, actually know any of these people. Perhaps they know how to best to cope with this change in their lives.
 

 

[marmalade]

Valerie was on the Today show . No mention of Ed or crying or crying for once ! But , if  course there was Wolfie talk and pictures !

She also mentioned her new  book wnd her new tv show with wacko Demi Lovato ! That should be interesting!  I can’t imagine what photos or stories about her dead ex will be included and how much crying will go on in the book tour interviews !

Her recipes did look good and her hair looks really nice now that it’s back to a more natural color.  And it seems as though she’s not doing the plastic surgery thing anymore, and looks very nice ! 

[buttersister]

Ready? Her book is titled, Enough Already! Complete with glam shot on the cover.

I catch a few minutes of Today a year. Today was that day.

[marmalade]

It’s ironic that Valerie’s book cover says “learning to love the way I am today “, yet she posted a video of herself crying today because some random poster commented and said she needed to lose weight ! She said that when you see someone he’s gained weight that it’s obvious they they were going through something .

The sad part is , she is a very pretty woman and no way as overweight as she perceives herself to be .  It’s also sad that at 61 she’s still beating herself up to live up to some ridiculous standards about weight . She looks better than most  40 year olds !

She’s a very talented person, and a good actress   who has  been able to transform herself into a good cook and a likable judge and personality on Food Network . 

Her book seems to be about self - acceptance , but she seems no where close to doing that . She also seems to know she is going through something .  Now if she would just get the right kind of private therapy and then She could share her experiences is a less emotional and vulnerable state .  

[Rightside]

On 7/2/2021 at 5:59 PM, HyeChaps said:

Is the current season being shot on a studio set?  Were the previous seasons at her real house?

Yes, it is new set this season.  It has the "side by side" oven doors!!

All the seasons are on set. I think she used the same set for more than one season.

I don't like the set this season.

Edited July 8, 2021 by Rightside

[goldenpuppy]

2 hours ago, marmalade said:

It’s ironic that Valerie’s book cover says “learning to love the way I am today “, yet she posted a video of herself crying today because some random poster commented and said she needed to lose weight ! She said that when you see someone he’s gained weight that it’s obvious they they were going through something .

The sad part is , she is a very pretty woman and no way as overweight as she perceives herself to be .  It’s also sad that at 61 she’s still beating herself up to live up to some ridiculous standards about weight . She looks better than most  40 year olds !

She’s a very talented person, and a good actress   who has  been able to transform herself into a good cook and a likable judge and personality on Food Network . 

Her book seems to be about self - acceptance , but she seems no where close to doing that . She also seems to know she is going through something .  Now if she would just get the right kind of private therapy and then She could share her experiences is a less emotional and vulnerable state .  

Valerie is very pretty, nice and talented , but she’s now posted herself crying on FB, Instagram and Instagram Stories !  ONE person made a comment about her needing to lose weight and it sent her into a tailspin? Seriously? She’s 61 , in show business most of her life and that thin skinned ?

 I am beginning to wonder if this is some kind of publicity for her book . Making posts about body shaming, complete with crying has caused thousands of posters to respond to her.  I actually hope it is some kind of publicity stunt or I would wonder about how well she is right now !   I would hate to think of her really being so hypersensitive and losing it for everyone to see !

Edited July 9, 2021 by goldenpuppy

[buttersister]

I can’t tell which makes me feel more nauseous—that she would pull a publicity stunt signaling to women sensitive about their weight that crying is a good reaction; or over-responding to one comment in a way that would garner her a shit ton of sympathy. Either way, 🤢

[goldenpuppy]

1 hour ago, buttersister said:

I can’t tell which makes me feel more nauseous—that she would pull a publicity stunt signaling to women sensitive about their weight that crying is a good reaction; or over-responding to one comment in a way that would garner her a shit ton of sympathy. Either way, 🤢

Or, is she really so lacking in self-esteem and emotionally fragile that this really did upset her that much ? What ever the reason is, it’s not good ! I had a feeling she was lacking in boundaries and losing it when she was arguing with stupid posters on Twitter ! Hopefully she will get help .

[Yeah No]

On 7/6/2021 at 8:14 PM, Gam2 said:

How about we all agree to let Valerie grieve the way she needs to, to support her son to grieve the way he needs to and to allow her husband Tom, with whom she’s seemed really happy, to support both of them. Perhaps they know the truth of their relationships more than we do. None of us, as far as I know, actually know any of these people. Perhaps they know how to best to cope with this change in their lives.

Given her recent public behavior, Valerie isn't showing me many signs that she knows how best to cope with much right now.  I have a lot of empathy and sympathy for her but sometimes the truth hurts....