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S02.E03: High Risk, High Hopes

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Erin and Chad meet with Dr. Vick to discuss the risk of having a stillbirth and the precautions they must take for the rest of her pregnancy. Later, the couple invites Zach, Whitney and baby Bradley over for dinner while the older boys square off against the younger ones in a giant Airsoft battle!

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I wonder if Erin is going to have to go on some form of birth control. I can't imagine being on heparin shots long term is good for one's health. Chad seems to be a reasonable guy, I don't think he'd have a problem if they can't leave the size of their family "up to God." I'm not familiar with Erin's disorder, but it's so scary there's such a high risk for stillbirth right up through delivery. I figured once she got over the three month hump she could relax a little. I guess that's not the case.

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I wonder if Erin is going to have to go on some form of birth control. I can't imagine being on heparin shots long term is good for one's health. Chad seems to be a reasonable guy, I don't think he'd have a problem if they can't leave the size of their family "up to God." I'm not familiar with Erin's disorder, but it's so scary there's such a high risk for stillbirth right up through delivery. I figured once she got over the three month hump she could relax a little. I guess that's not the case.

 

Yes.  Theirs is a scary situation.  I hope they find themselves satisfied with a family of 3.  It sounds like they're lucky that Carson is alive and okay.  They're such a sweet little family. It would be a shame if they decided to risk that happiness.

Edited by zenme
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Maybe it's just me, but I think with the extreme risks she faces with any pregnancy, God did tell them that a family of three was good enough.  I honestly don't know what some of them expect...a telegram? It's like that story of the man in the flood.  A rescue crew comes to take him away from his house because the river is rising. He says "No thanks, God will save me". Later, a rescue boat comes by because his house is now IN the river.  He says again, "No thanks, God will save me". Finally a helicopter comes to take him off the roof of his submerged house.  Again he says, "No thanks, God will save me." Then he drowns and when he gets to heaven he asks God, "Why didn't you save me"?  And God answers, "I sent you a rescue crew, a boat and a helicopter." 

Edited by anstar
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Chad and Erin are a bit young to completely dock the boat, IMO. Lots of people have high-risk pregnancies and still end up being able to have a couple kids. Now that they know her issues, she does stand a better chance of carrying to term (though that stillbirth risk thing stinks big time) and she could probably (I say as though I can control this) have another couple kids. But I do agree that in this situation, where pregnancy is high-risk from the get-go, that aiming for constant pregnancy is foolish. I hope that Gil & Kelly have made it clear to their kids that excessive reproduction was THEIR choice, and is not something expected of all the kids also.

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It seems like Gil and Kelly impart in lots of ways that the way they live and their rules are for THEIR house and once married, the kids are free to make their own rules. Now I'm sure they'd love if some of their kids chose to have 18 kids of their own, as it would be affirmation that the kids "bought in" to their way. But more than that I think they are good parents who want each kid to be happy and healthy -- whether that means no kids or 18 kids or something in between. When Gil and Kelly spoke about Erin and how helpless they feel, you could see the worry in their faces. You could REALLY see it in Zach's face when he was talking about how scary it is that she's 6 months pregnant and could still lose the baby; he definitely looked scared and upset -- and didn't say much -- when Whitney was saying that he's having a hard time with his sisters growing up; the look on his face just said -- I wish she didn't have to go through miscarriages, risk of stillbirth etc. One of their grandmas (maybe Gil's mom?) openly says that 18 kids is too freaking many.

 

Point is -- I don't think they're going to get a lot of judgment from GIl and Kelly or from the older siblings or extended family, if they decide it was too risky and Bradley should be an only; or if they decide to maybe go for 1 more and that's it. Hell -- I think Alyssa will be kind of jealous that Erin ONLY has to raise 1-2 kids!

 

And I agree with the previous poster -- God IS giving them a sign that they are not meant to have 18 kids; the sign is -- miscarriages followed by a difficult and dangerous first pregnancy that turned out ok. That should be a sign to them to stop or maybe ask for God's help in having 1 more or 2 more and then thank God for all they have and move on.

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God IS giving them a sign that they are not meant to have 18 kids; the sign is -- miscarriages followed by a difficult and dangerous first pregnancy that turned out ok. That should be a sign to them to stop or maybe ask for God's help in having 1 more or 2 more and then thank God for all they have and move on.

 

I agree with this post and the last. Sometimes that is the sign. My parents had one miscarry and two births that went very wrong. They did get lucky that both babies survived, but took it as a sign from God to stop. I do wish with these families that they would belief or follow a lot of what they say. God does have different plans for everyone. Its not always and its rarely eighteen or nineteen kids for everyone. But that's not a bad thing. Having one child or two can still be a wonderful and fulfilling life. Not one where parents should regret, feel less, or that God doesn't love them because they were only able to have one or two children. Or maybe God's telling them to look into adoption or foster care there are so many kids who do need a good home. Or maybe just stick with the one or two they have and that they can be very happy with them.

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Chad just seems like he really wanted A kid. Sure maybe he does want 8 or 10 since he grew up fundie, but for starters -- it seemed like he really wanted ONE to cuddle and to raise; he didn't come across the like Duggars with -- oh, we need to have one ASAP bc then we can have a 2nd next yr.

 

It was so cute how thrilled he seemed to be holding Bradley -- even eating with him in his lap -- and when Zach said "do you want us to hold him so you can eat," he said -- I'll give him back when he cries. Now he has Carson to have those moments with and to do all the little boy stuff with in a few years and to raise/mold into a man later on. I could see that being enough for him given how deeply he loves Erin and wouldn't want anything like another pregnancy to harm her. Besides his father and grandfather are doctors, so hopefully they understand how serious the situation is for Erin to be pregnant and hopefully they've convinced the women in the family -- so no one will pressure Chad and Erin to just pray away the clotting disorder and go for a child every yr even if it's dangerous to mother and baby. I'm not saying they'll stick to just 1 kid - as I do think they'll go for 2 or 3 - but if it becomes impossible or dangerous, I can see Chad being totally thrilled with his one child and not blaming or resenting Erin for the rest of his life or acting like it's her fault that he can't prove his manhood with 12 children.

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Bradley seems like such a good natured baby and Chad is a natural with children.

I agree that Gil and Kelly won't hold it against their kids if they don't follow the model set for them. Alyssa has already gone off course with her jeans, sleeveless dresses and stiletto heels and she hasn't been excommunicated yet.

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I'm positive they'll risk having a few more kids, but hopefully they stop at 3 or 4.

Zach seems like such a good guy. So happy he and Whitney found each other.

I'm so happy he ended up with Whitney instead of that boring, stick in the mud Sarah Reith. Whitney is cute and outgoing and I think she really appreciates her husband, especially given everything she's been through. They're an adorable little family.

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I do like this family.  It was so cute seeing all the brothers together 'fighting' over that fort.  And I like the way they tease each other and the way the older girls roll their eyes when they talk about their brothers.

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Gil and Kelly said in one of their couch interviews that they understood that not everyone was meant to have 19 children..that leaving the size of your family to the Lord, sometimes He only gives one or two.  I don't think they expect any of their children to follow in their footsteps.

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I never understood why they can't think the opposite way:  pray to God and say that they feel like they should limit the size of their family because of the risk to the mom, since all lives are valuable and then go on birth control and if the birth control fails then take that as your sign that God really wants you to have that child.

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I was just thinking that I don't recall all those kisses between the couples like the Duggars do.  The kissing gets annoying, and I don't recall feeling that annoyance with this family.  They seem to do it much less.  

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